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View Poll Results: Did you seek father's permission/blessing?
Yes, it is a tradition I wanted to keep 42 27.10%
Yes, it is a tradition I knew spouse's family wanted to keep 19 12.26%
No 78 50.32%
I've never proposed 16 10.32%
Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-16-2013, 10:43 AM  
La literatura La literatura is offline
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Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?

Just wondering what the practice/custom is.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:45 PM   #106
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5 kids with 4 men?
not entirely sure. I think most, if not all, were with the first guy.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:46 PM
DonkyPuncher
This message has been deleted by DonkyPuncher. Reason: misinformed
Old 01-16-2013, 12:48 PM   #107
DonkyPuncher DonkyPuncher is offline
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I had to delete my last post because I put it up before you answered
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:50 PM   #108
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I didn't ask for her Dad's blessing, technically, but I did speak with her parents before proposing. I told them my intentions to propose and explicitly said that I wasn't asking for their permission, but that it meant a lot to me and my wife if we had their support.

It went over pretty well. I don't think that it's expected anymore to ask permission, but I know it is appreciated by a lot of old timers if you at least make your intentions known. Most parents realize that their kids will do what they want with or without their support.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:51 PM   #109
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Are you talking about my hypothetical daughter at this point? If my daughter is at the point that she'd happily marry someone like that, I'd have already failed.
...

True.

Would you decide to care less then?

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Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
Also, I never meant to create the impression that I don't care whether her dad/family like me or not - I care about that very much.
So on both fronts, deep down, you can admit it's important to look that man in the eye and be good?...
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:52 PM   #110
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Honestly, it never even occurred to me to ask. I thought that tradition disappeared when women got the right to vote and live by themselves and stuff.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:54 PM   #111
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Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
not entirely sure. I think most, if not all, were with the first guy.
but if I were a betting man I would say all those failed marriages were a result of having so many damn kid's
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:54 PM   #112
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I had to delete my last post because I put it up before you answered
And it ws a nice one, let me tell ya
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:55 PM   #113
DonkyPuncher DonkyPuncher is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazepoo View Post
I didn't ask for her Dad's blessing, technically, but I did speak with her parents before proposing. I told them my intentions to propose and explicitly said that I wasn't asking for their permission, but that it meant a lot to me and my wife if we had their support.

It went over pretty well. I don't think that it's expected anymore to ask permission, but I know it is appreciated by a lot of old timers if you at least make your intentions known. Most parents realize that their kids will do what they want with or without their support.
but that's just it, they are not kid's anymore...
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:56 PM   #114
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And it ws a nice one, let me tell ya
oh crap you're not her are you??
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:58 PM   #115
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but that's just it, they are not kid's anymore...
I'm using the term kids in the sense that they were birthed from their mother and raised by their parents at some point in the past. I'm well aware of the fact that people are legal adults by the time they get married.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:59 PM   #116
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No, I didn't and my wife didn't really want me to. Her family is very unformal so it was fine.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:00 PM   #117
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oh crap you're not her are you??


Maybe.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:01 PM   #118
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Her father and I had a good relationship anyway, so I knew he would say yes... but I did it out of respect because I was raised to do so.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:02 PM   #119
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
Honestly, it never even occurred to me to ask. I thought that tradition disappeared when women got the right to vote and live by themselves and stuff.
It only occurred to me after speaking with friends. An overwhelming majority of my friends asked for permission before proposing. I am 30 years old for generational reference.

The idea rubbed me the wrong way, though, because we were both independent adults which is why I made it clear that I sought their support rather than permission.

In talking with her parents that day, I found out that her Dad had not asked, which I found humorous.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:07 PM   #120
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Originally Posted by lazepoo View Post
It only occurred to me after speaking with friends. An overwhelming majority of my friends asked for permission before proposing. I am 30 years old for generational reference.

The idea rubbed me the wrong way, though, because we were both independent adults which is why I made it clear that I sought their support rather than permission.

In talking with her parents that day, I found out that her Dad had not asked, which I found humorous.
People have to remember when this tradition started, the daughters were getting married at the age of 14
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