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Old 01-19-2013, 01:39 AM  
thurman merman thurman merman is offline
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The Complete Arnold List/An Exhaustive Ranking of All 29 Schwarzengger Starring Roles

In honor of the outstanding return of Arnold Schwarzenegger in The LAst Stand tonight, I present to you my complete ranking of The Governator's movies.

29. Conan the Barbarian (1982)
By far the most overrated of all Arnold films, and really of any films. Absolutely atrocious from start to finish. No redeeming qualities.

28. The Villain (1979)
A live-action Roadrunner and Wylie Coyote spoof in which Arnold wears a powder blue cowboy suit and is named The Handsome Stranger. Not nearly as awesome as it sounds.

27. Red Sonja (1985)
Arguably the worst cast of all time, led by the remarkably annoying monkey child.

26. Hercules in New York (1969)
Easily one of the worst movies ever made, but still only the fourth worst Arnold movie. The hilarity of Arnold playing Hercules bumps it ever so slightly past the previous three turds.

25. Batman and Robin (1997)
Again, universally considered one of the worst movies ever. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy is one of the most atrocious performances in the history of acting. I, however, can't help but enjoy the boatloads of bad ice puns that Schwarzenegger unloads in this picture. LET'S KICK SOME ICE!

24. Stay Hungry (1976)
A movie with no discernible point.

23. The Jayne Mansfield Story (1980)
A movie about a blonde chick or something. I don't remember it. I don't even remember Arnold being in it.

22. Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Much better than Conan the Barbarian. Much worse than most other movies.

21. End of Days (1999)
Awful.

20. Red Heat (1988)
Jim Belushi turns in an alarmingly unfunny sidekick role which really takes this movie down a few notches. He's no Tom Arnold in True Lies; that's for sure.

19. The Running Man (1987)
The movie that The Hunger Games ripped off. Some great one-liners by Arnold, but overall a disappointing film.

18. Last Action Hero (1993)
Starts strong from the very beginning ("You want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of acres!") and shows promise for about half an hour. Unnecessarily long and incredibly boring after that.

17. Raw Deal (1986)
Spectacular soundtrack and decent action, but a severely depressing lack of classic Arnold one-liners.

16. Jingle All the Way (1996)
Schwarzenegger is great ("YOU BARKED UP THE WRONG TREE!") and Phil Hartman plays an excellent obnoxious neighbor, but Sinbad crushes the replay value of this film. There's only so much Sinbad a man can take in one lifetime.

15. Junior (1994)
"She was Daddy's little girl…now he's giving her away!"

14. Collateral Damage (2002)
The movie is fine, but is one of the least funny of all Schwarzenegger films. Negative points for forgetting to have Arnold be funny in the script.

13. Pumping Iron (1977)
Fascinating, well-done documentary on bodybuilding featuring a very young Lou Ferrigno alongside Mr. Universe.

12. The 6th Day (2000)
Arnold clones himself and the bad guy is Danny Tanner's twin. Good enough for me.

11. Twins (1988)
Volume 1 of the Schwarzenegger/DeVito comedy dream team. Looking forward to the sequel with Eddie Murphy.

10. Terminator 3 (2003)
One of the more underrated Schwarzenegger films. Often overlooked because it didn't live up to T2…but then again, not a lot of movies do.

9. The Terminator (1984)
I'm not as high on this one as most people (in fact, I didn't like it at all the first time I saw it), but I do enjoy it more every time I watch it. A lot of iconic moments.

8. Total Recall (1990)
"Consider it a divorce."

7. Predator (1987)
The only movie where Arnold shows genuine fear. Of course, he still wins, but still an interesting tidbit.

6. Eraser (1996)
Schwarzenegger shooting an alligator and saying, "You're luggage" is worth the price of admission.

5. The Last Stand (2013)
After a ten-year break, even at age 65, Arnold hasn't lost a step. Well-written screenplay featuring that vintage blend of Schwarzenegger action and comedy.

4. Kindergarten Cop (1990)
This movie probably holds the record for most forehead veins popping out in fits of rage from a lead character. An abundance of spectacular quotes ("There is no bathroom!", "It's not a toomah!", "I'm da potty poopah," "Who is your daddy and what does he do?", "SHUUUUUUT UUUUUUP!", etc.)

3. Terminator 2 (1991)
"Chill out, dickwad."

2. True Lies (1994)
One of the rare Schwarzenegger movies that would actually be good even without Arnold. Well-done thriller with an excellent cast. Really looking forward to this being released on Blu-Ray.

1. Commando (1985)
An undeniably manly beast of a film.
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:09 AM   #2
nstygma nstygma is offline
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i think predator, running man, total recall should be much closer to the top
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:16 AM   #3
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If you put this list together on your own, kill yourself.
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:21 AM   #4
Gravedigger Gravedigger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thurman merman View Post
29. Conan the Barbarian (1982)
By far the most overrated of all Arnold films, and really of any films. Absolutely atrocious from start to finish. No redeeming qualities. .
This is where the thread lost all credibility. Conan... worse than ALL his other movies... Junior is way too high wayyyyy wayyyyy too high. End of Days is too low, should be looped together with Collateral Damage in the middle somewhere. The 6th Day is too high, two Arnold's.... Kindergarten Cop is funny and all but higher than Predator? Higher than Total Recall? The rest of the list is fine but Conan may not be his best but it is most definitly not his worst. The revenge story of a boy seeing his family die, with his mothers head chopped off right next to him, grown up seeks revenge, loses the woman he falls in love with and then chops off James Earl Jones' head in the end only to throw it down the stairs in front of all of his disciples. Everyone has their own opinion but.... yeah.
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:46 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by frazod View Post
If you put this list together on your own, kill yourself.
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Old 01-19-2013, 07:26 AM   #6
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Am I the only person that absolutely hates Terminator 2? That movie sucked.
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Old 01-19-2013, 08:34 AM   #7
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Eraser superior to Predator?

Kindergarten Cop in the top 5?

Train wreck of a list.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:43 AM   #8
thurman merman thurman merman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crush View Post
Am I the only person that absolutely hates Terminator 2?
Yes.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:58 AM   #9
thurman merman thurman merman is offline
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I think you guys are taking this a little too seriously. I enjoy Schwarzenegger movies mainly for their cheesiness. Only a handful of his movies are legitimately good films. Everybody CHILL.

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Old 01-19-2013, 10:00 AM   #10
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Predator, Terminator Saga, True Lies and Total Recall. The rest are far behind......but alot of them hold guilty pleasure factor for me.
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Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

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Old 01-19-2013, 10:10 AM   #11
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Thread starter is the first person ive ever heard say or list Conan the Destroyer as better than Barbarian?? WTF?


Destroyer was pure cheeeese.
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:12 AM   #12
thurman merman thurman merman is offline
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Originally Posted by Deberg_1990 View Post
Thread starter is the first person ive ever heard say or list Conan the Destroyer as better than Barbarian?? WTF?


Destroyer was pure cheeeese.
I hated both of them, but I hated Barbarian more.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:15 AM   #13
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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I liked End of Days alot more than most people. Its decently made and shows a more vulnerable side to Arnie.
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:16 AM   #14
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Eraser?


Really?

True Lies kicked ass, and Predator should be 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.
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Old 01-19-2013, 10:18 AM   #15
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Quote:
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Eraser?

Yes because Arnie with Rail Guns kicks ass.
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Deberg_1990 has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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