Excerpts from Marty Schottenheimer's book

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

This is one of the best football books you'll read. It's truly fascinating.

1. Dick Haley (Todd's dad) was a big HS football star at a school not far from Marty's. Haley drove a red convertible and Marty used to see it all the time and get extremely jealous. Marty's first purchase when the Bills drafted him was a red convertible Buick Riviera.

2. Almost everyone in the NFL was rooting for Brian Schottenheimer's Jets to beat AJ Smith's Chargers in the 2009 playoffs, because people hated AJ Smith for firing Marty after going 14-2. Marty had to watch the game from a hotel bar.

3. Marty wanted to be a dentist but failed organic chemistry.

4. Marty was good friends with Joe Namath, to the extent that they went on fishing trips together. Namath once juked Marty in the open field during a Jets-Bills game, and afterwards gave him crap about it.

5. Marty failed in real-estate endeavors and that was why he got into coaching. He got stiffed on a bunch of checks in the WFL, then submitted a scouting report on WFL players to Giants head coach Bill Arnsparger, and eventually got a job with the Giants coaching linebackers because of it.

6. Marty was Cleveland's defensive coordinator when the HC was fired. They offered Marty the interm HC job. He refused and asked for a two-year contract as the full-fledged HC because he knew players didn't respect interim head coaches. Smart move.

7. Art Modell, in all his wisdom, tried to force Marty to make changes to his coaching staff, and that was why he left Cleveland.

8. "One play a time" was coined because Namath juked Marty. After that play, Marty couldn't focus and gave up a TD because of it. After that he resolved to focus only on one play at a time.

9. Carl and Marty had their first interview together getting lost driving around Kansas City. They almost ran out of gas.

10. Lamar Hunt was the selling point for Marty to come to KC. He would do random things like bring a piece of Key Lime Pie to his hotel room late at night during league meetings.

11. A Marty saying you probably haven't heard: "Men, just hang in there like an old sack of balls."

More to come.

[displacedinMN]

I got it for Christmas. Didn't start a post.

Marty is a great guy. An amazing life and contacts.
It always surprises me about how these guys come in contact with each other at some point. (see the Hayden Fry article in this weeks DSM Register)


The book is an easy read.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

The Dick Haley story blew my mind.

Also Marty's wife is a saint, and he might be the nicest guy ever in professional sports. Which is why everyone hated AJ Smith so much.

Rex Ryan sent Marty the game ball from that playoff win.

[Rain Man]

Interesting stuff.

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

Marty thought he was being paid $1500 for that WFL scouting report, and was really mad when he got $125 in the mail.

He later asked Arnsparger about it and he said Marty misheard "50 or 100." He threw in $25 because it was the best scouting report he had ever read.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Go to Hell

Marty thought he was being paid $1500 for that WFL scouting report, and was really mad when he got $125 in the mail.

He later asked Arnsparger about it and he said Marty misheard "50 or 100." He threw in $25 because it was the best scouting report he had ever read.

That's pretty funny.

Based on Todd Haley's story and this, it sounds like studying film and scouting is one of the least lucrative jobs a person can have.

[theelusiveeightrop]

What chapter is devoted to Lin Eliot?

[Branden Albert's Huge Balls]

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop

What chapter is devoted to Lin Eliot?

I haven't gotten that fair.

I'm eagerly anticipating the section detailing how horrified Marty was when he learned he had gained me as a fan.

[Prison Bitch]

Meh. Let's hear about the only thing we care about: why he left KC. Go into detail Marty, or else your book is just another 4th grade book report for my son.

[Rain Man]

The things I'd most like to hear from Marty would be:

1. The team's discussions of whether to draft Derrick Thomas, Broderick Thomas, Deion Sanders, or someone else.

2. The cut or release that he most regrets. (Chiefs only.)

3. How close was the Gannon/Grbac decision?

4. The non-pro bowl player that he thought was most deserving.

5. Why did they never draft a quarterback?

6. Joe Montana - what was it like to work with him?

7. Toughest loss and most satisfying win.

[theelusiveeightrop]

Originally Posted by Go to Hell

I haven't gotten that fair.

I'm eagerly anticipating the section detailing how horrified Marty was when he learned he had gained me as a fan.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Originally Posted by Go to Hell

I haven't gotten that fair.

I'm eagerly anticipating the section detailing how horrified Marty was when he learned he had gained me as a fan.

lmao
Posted via Mobile Device

[Donger]

I bet that the ending is very conservative.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

lmaolololol/thread.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Agent V]

The key lime pie bit makes me smile.