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Old 03-03-2013, 11:50 AM  
Buck Buck is offline
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New Dating Megathread

Luv's old thread is in the HOC for being too big.

Post all your dating questions, comments, concerns, advice, and scrutiny in here!
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:13 PM   #2401
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:15 PM   #2402
Eureka Eureka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
[teenage rant]

I went out for drinks tonight with a chick from my apartment complex, whom I met during our Halloween bash last Thursday. I called her to ask her out, she says "I'd love to" and all that, and we finally went out tonight.

We have a very nice time, and I make at least a few flirtatious comments referring directly to the date we're currently on. After a couple hours of enjoyable discussion, we leave (because we both have early morning work things to do), and I feel pretty good about it.

I'm sitting at home, sipping at a rum & coke before bed, and I get a text from her saying that "I had a nice time, but I had no idea that you were asking me on a date! We hardly know each other! I'm not in a position to date right now, but I hope that we can be friends, haha!"

I cannot emphasize how obvious this date scenario was. Like any man, I've had my fair share of rejection, but it frustrates me like hell that she hesitated to tell me that she didn't see things as a date until well after the "date" culminated. I feel far more let-down than I would have if she had asserted her position outright (at which point we'd have happily shared some beers as new friends), but she purposefully led me to believe that she was interested in some sort of relationship during the "date" so that she wouldn't have to "give me the bad news" in person. For women, that's considered to be "tactful". For men, it would be "leading someone on".

Pardon me, but that's absolute bullshit. Women nowadays are plagued by inequities in income and social status, but so many of them choose to perpetuate their situation by using only the social constructs that benefit them. Neither I (nor any reasonable man) is encouraged to be anything but direct, and the same standard ought to be applied to women.

I'm one of the bigger supporters of gender/sex equality in nearly every aspect of life, but I feel like an asshole for being convinced that behavior like this (from liberal women, no less) practically guarantees their continued inequality by a majority of men who support it.

I'll be over this specific scenario tomorrow, but **** this shit. I'm tired of being proven wrong, and I'm tired of seeing supposed "progressives" turn out to be nothing more than social opportunists.

Reading through this before posting it, I'm inclined to go get some cheese to accompany my whine, but since I've typed it all out I may as well post it. Or not. You can be the judge of that.

[\teenage rant]
Dude, you won! Atleast she told you right away instead of leading you on for weeks/months. Now you know "da game" and you'll be a little more wise to it. It sucks sometimes but it's just part of the dance. Chicks on dating websites can be the same.

If you haven't texted her back yet then text her something like: "no worries"......
I enjoyed hanging with you tonight. I'm in no rush either. Buddy's ? :-)

Either move on or play "da game".
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:17 PM   #2403
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead View Post
That's why you get on a dating site.

You KNOW they're looking for a "real" date.
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:32 PM   #2404
PGM PGM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
[teenage rant]

I went out for drinks tonight with a chick from my apartment complex, whom I met during our Halloween bash last Thursday. I called her to ask her out, she says "I'd love to" and all that, and we finally went out tonight.

We have a very nice time, and I make at least a few flirtatious comments referring directly to the date we're currently on. After a couple hours of enjoyable discussion, we leave (because we both have early morning work things to do), and I feel pretty good about it.

I'm sitting at home, sipping at a rum & coke before bed, and I get a text from her saying that "I had a nice time, but I had no idea that you were asking me on a date! We hardly know each other! I'm not in a position to date right now, but I hope that we can be friends, haha!"

I cannot emphasize how obvious this date scenario was. Like any man, I've had my fair share of rejection, but it frustrates me like hell that she hesitated to tell me that she didn't see things as a date until well after the "date" culminated. I feel far more let-down than I would have if she had asserted her position outright (at which point we'd have happily shared some beers as new friends), but she purposefully led me to believe that she was interested in some sort of relationship during the "date" so that she wouldn't have to "give me the bad news" in person. For women, that's considered to be "tactful". For men, it would be "leading someone on".

Pardon me, but that's absolute bullshit. Women nowadays are plagued by inequities in income and social status, but so many of them choose to perpetuate their situation by using only the social constructs that benefit them. Neither I (nor any reasonable man) is encouraged to be anything but direct, and the same standard ought to be applied to women.

I'm one of the bigger supporters of gender/sex equality in nearly every aspect of life, but I feel like an asshole for being convinced that behavior like this (from liberal women, no less) practically guarantees their continued inequality by a majority of men who support it.

I'll be over this specific scenario tomorrow, but **** this shit. I'm tired of being proven wrong, and I'm tired of seeing supposed "progressives" turn out to be nothing more than social opportunists.

Reading through this before posting it, I'm inclined to go get some cheese to accompany my whine, but since I've typed it all out I may as well post it. Or not. You can be the judge of that.

[\teenage rant]
You got let down gently brah. Happens to us all. I have heard worse excuses than that though.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:35 PM   #2405
Cephalic Trauma Cephalic Trauma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
[teenage rant]

.

[\teenage rant]


I've never had this happen to me, and I am very happily engaged, but I agree with every single word of this.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:37 PM   #2406
PGM PGM is offline
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"I am no in a position to date"...2 days later she is on a date with another guy.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:38 PM   #2407
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is online now
welp
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PGM View Post
"I am no in a position to date"...2 days later she is on a date with another guy.
sounds like just another BS girl way of letting a guy down easy
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:38 PM   #2408
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PGM View Post
"I am no in a position to date"...2 days later she is on a date with another guy.
She was actually texting him while being reverse pile-driven by a neighbor.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:40 PM   #2409
PGM PGM is offline
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Have no problem with the rant. That kind of stuff is frustrating as ****. I would take outright rejection and why over "I am not in the right mindset for dating blah blah blah"
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:44 PM   #2410
PGM PGM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead View Post
sounds like just another BS girl way of letting a guy down easy
Oh no doubt about it. Same shit recycled in different words by a different bitch.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:44 PM   #2411
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is online now
welp
 
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
Oh no doubt about it. Same shit recycled in different words by a different bitch.
I can't recommend match.com highly enough.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:44 PM   #2412
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PGM View Post
"I am no in a position to date"...2 days later she is on a date with another guy.
PGM lost. Don't dwell on it who would want to be with someone like that?
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:45 PM   #2413
PGM PGM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
She was actually texting him while being reverse pile-driven by a neighbor.
THAT is why you don't befriend girls you really like.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:51 PM   #2414
PGM PGM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini View Post
PGM lost. Don't dwell on it who would want to be with someone like that?
????

Just giving can the reality of the situation.
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:53 PM   #2415
PGM PGM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead View Post
I can't recommend match.com highly enough.
I like it as a supplemental option. Some great girls on there....free sites on the other hand...
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