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Old 03-08-2013, 10:24 PM  
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize

Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.

Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.

“Guantanamo’s still open. There’s bombing Libya. There’s blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”

The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of…multilateral diplomacy…an emphasis on the role of the United Nations…of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts…and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”

“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”

Thorbjorn Jagland and members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee
celebrate Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival yesterday



But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”

The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival.

The White House had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.

http://www.thefinaledition.com/artic...ace-prize.html

seriously
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:49 PM   #2
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I'm guessing BEP will appreciate this piece.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:52 PM   #3
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Obama was going to stop the seas from rising, the job market from tanking, and all sorts of other things.
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Old 03-09-2013, 06:33 AM   #4
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Obama was going to stop the seas from rising, the job market from tanking, and all sorts of other things.
Link that he didn't?/Cosmo
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Old 03-09-2013, 08:35 AM   #5
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
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Like there was any integrity involved when they gave the paperweight to him in the first place.

Piss up a rope, Thorbjorn.
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Old 03-09-2013, 09:54 AM   #6
Amnorix Amnorix is offline
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I hope to God you guys know this is satire...
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Old 03-09-2013, 09:56 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Amnorix View Post
I hope to God you guys know this is satire...
see post #2.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:02 AM   #8
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla View Post
I'm guessing BEP will appreciate this piece.
Well first, **** you. You must suck as an instructor because you probably don't let a student forget they made a mistake.

There, now that's out of the way.

The Nobel Committee that chooses the Peace Prize winner is the New Onion.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:05 AM   #9
Pitt Gorilla Pitt Gorilla is offline
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Originally Posted by BucEyedPea View Post
Well first, **** you. You must suck as an instructor because you probably don't let a student forget they made a mistake.

There, now that's out of the way.

The Nobel Committee that chooses the Peace Prize winner is the New Onion.
. It was a joke. Lighten up a bit and enjoy life.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:09 AM   #10
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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. It was a joke. Lighten up a bit and enjoy life.
Oh yeah, hide it as a joke when it was really a swipe because it was at someone's expense. That is known as being covertly hostile or passive aggressive. Smiling while you hold a knife behind your back. The joker that mocks others. Between this and your many peanut gallery pokes, I will say again, you must suck as a professor. That's not a joke btw.

I enjoy life by choosing my friends.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:46 AM   #11
RedDread RedDread is offline
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Waiting to see how long it takes for this story to show up on my FB feed as actual news.

Also, @ BEP. You're probably a lot of fun at parties.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:49 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by BucEyedPea View Post
Oh yeah, hide it as a joke when it was really a swipe because it was at someone's expense. That is known as being covertly hostile or passive aggressive. Smiling while you hold a knife behind your back. The joker that mocks others. Between this and your many peanut gallery pokes, I will say again, you must suck as a professor. That's not a joke btw.

I enjoy life by choosing my friends.
Yeah, you have friends.

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Old 03-09-2013, 10:55 AM   #13
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Yeah, you have friends.

I do. I'm a Seminole fan too.
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:55 AM   #14
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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Waiting to see how long it takes for this story to show up on my FB feed as actual news.

Also, @ BEP. You're probably a lot of fun at parties.
I AM usually the life of the party, which is a social gathering not a debate forum.
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Old 03-09-2013, 11:37 AM   #15
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by BucEyedPea View Post
Oh yeah, hide it as a joke when it was really a swipe because it was at someone's expense. That is known as being covertly hostile or passive aggressive. Smiling while you hold a knife behind your back. The joker that mocks others. Between this and your many peanut gallery pokes, I will say again, you must suck as a professor. That's not a joke btw.

I enjoy life by choosing my friends.
Suck it up BEP. Not only have you been fooled by the Onion, you consistently make completely false assertions and "quote" things that were never said because you are fooled by your right-wing nutjob websites. You're generally just a prime source of misinformation.
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