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Old 03-08-2013, 10:24 PM  
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize

Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.

Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.

“Guantanamo’s still open. There’s bombing Libya. There’s blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”

The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of…multilateral diplomacy…an emphasis on the role of the United Nations…of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts…and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”

“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”

Thorbjorn Jagland and members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee
celebrate Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival yesterday



But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”

The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival.

The White House had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.

http://www.thefinaledition.com/artic...ace-prize.html

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Old 03-09-2013, 03:52 PM   #16
Pitt Gorilla Pitt Gorilla is offline
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Oh yeah, hide it as a joke when it was really a swipe because it was at someone's expense. That is known as being covertly hostile or passive aggressive. Smiling while you hold a knife behind your back. The joker that mocks others. Between this and your many peanut gallery pokes, I will say again, you must suck as a professor. That's not a joke btw.

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Old 03-09-2013, 04:01 PM   #17
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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I'm surprised anyone can detect satire written about Hussein.

It's easy to believe almost anything you hear about that scumbag.
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:26 PM   #18
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by mikey23545 View Post
I'm surprised anyone can detect satire written about Hussein.

It's easy to believe almost anything you hear about that scumbag.
No, just to complete dumbasses such as yourself.
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:33 PM   #19
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
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No, just to complete dumbasses such as yourself.
Why are an imbecile? You can't figure it out, either?
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:35 PM   #20
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
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. Not everyone is out to get you.
I never said that. I only referred to you. Exaggerate much? Or do you think that about yourself?

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I'll bring peanuts.
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:37 PM   #21
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:41 PM   #22
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by Comrade Crapski View Post
Why are an imbecile? You can't figure it out, either?
Are imbicile you be a?

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As long as Jesus Christ was the president of the US and approved of it Yes.
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Old 03-09-2013, 07:42 PM   #23
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
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Are imbicile you be a?

You just wait until you spell a word wrong. Boy, NOW I'M REALLY SORE!!
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Old 03-09-2013, 08:29 PM   #24
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by Comrade Crapski View Post
You just wait until you spell a word wrong. Boy, NOW I'M REALLY SORE!!
I'll have a typo eventually and you can have your big moment. It's just always funny when someone sounds like an imbecile while trying to call someone an imbecile. You're pretty good at that.
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As long as Jesus Christ was the president of the US and approved of it Yes.
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Old 03-09-2013, 09:06 PM   #25
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
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Holy shit!

Is this one real?

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sh...#ixzz2N3qG511V
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:14 AM   #26
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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It wouldn't be funny if it weren't believable, well funny and sad.
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