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Old 03-16-2013, 05:57 AM  
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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So what am i suppose to say?

Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:15 AM   #31
trndobrd trndobrd is offline
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Take your pick:

"It's so cool that we share a common interest."

"Um, yeah, everyone in the family has known for years."

"I really want to be supportive and understand. So, is it like two pair of scissors or something?"

"I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me. But I really wanted to know when you are going to have my motorcycle fixed?"
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:16 AM   #32
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:19 AM   #33
mikey23545 mikey23545 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trndobrd View Post
Take your pick:

"It's so cool that we share a common interest."

"Um, yeah, everyone in the family has known for years."

"I really want to be supportive and understand. So, is it like two pair of scissors or something?"

"I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me. But I really wanted to know when you are going to have my motorcycle fixed?"
"Nice tits!"
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:21 AM   #34
Rausch Rausch is offline
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"And?..."
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:31 AM   #35
jAZ jAZ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Laz View Post
Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance
Cool that you are asking. Says a lot about your willingness to try to support a faimly member even when you don't feel comfortable about her choice to have the discussion or orientation.

So I start with a non-judgmental question: why treat this as question of someone's sex life?

I mean, I understand why, but my point with that question is to emphasize that I don't think it's exclusively a question of sex life. It's a question of simple human socialization. It's a question of "who do you spend your time with?" "How did you meet them?"

So it seems to me that both the easiest thing for you to do, and honestly, the very best thing for your family member, I'm sure, is to ask the human questions like those above. But also ask her questions about the process she's gone through coming to this point? How did she find out she was gay? What was it like telling her family?

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.
Posts: 24,765
jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:35 AM   #36
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jAZ View Post

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.
It's not about him.

It's about her feeling she can trust him (apparently more than most in her family. As...odd...as that may be) to have her back.

That's it. That's your job.

Love it - hate it - she clearly respects you.

So have her back...
__________________
Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 53,410
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:40 AM   #37
OrtonsPiercedTaint OrtonsPiercedTaint is offline
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I don't know what to say here....
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:43 AM   #38
acesn8s acesn8s is offline
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I.m gay:

"So, you wanna go pick up some chicks?"

It's an ice breaker before you start damning her to hell or praising her decision or whatever you do.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:46 AM   #39
mikey23545 mikey23545 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jAZ View Post
Cool that you are asking. Says a lot about your willingness to try to support a faimly member even when you don't feel comfortable about her choice to have the discussion or orientation.

So I start with a non-judgmental question: why treat this as question of someone's sex life?

I mean, I understand why, but my point with that question is to emphasize that I don't think it's exclusively a question of sex life. It's a question of simple human socialization. It's a question of "who do you spend your time with?" "How did you meet them?"

So it seems to me that both the easiest thing for you to do, and honestly, the very best thing for your family member, I'm sure, is to ask the human questions like those above. But also ask her questions about the process she's gone through coming to this point? How did she find out she was gay? What was it like telling her family?

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.
Vote Democrat!

What jIZ really means.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:47 AM   #40
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:48 AM   #41
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bevischief View Post
Go with your gut.
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 53,410
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:54 AM   #42
jAZ jAZ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
It's not about him.

It's about her feeling she can trust him (apparently more than most in her family. As...odd...as that may be) to have her back.

That's it. That's your job.

Love it - hate it - she clearly respects you.

So have her back...
Great point.
Posts: 24,765
jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.jAZ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:57 AM   #43
Ace Gunner Ace Gunner is offline
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how about "you have me confused with someone who gives a shit"
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:02 AM   #44
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Just tell her you can relate completely and then compare notes on cunnilingus.
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:07 AM   #45
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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