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Old 03-16-2013, 04:57 AM  
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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So what am i suppose to say?

Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:10 AM   #46
lcarus lcarus is offline
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I'd say "right on. scissor me timbers"
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:17 AM   #47
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:22 AM   #48
patteeu patteeu is offline
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I'm flattered that you feel comfortable sharing this with me. I think it's great that you're able to come out. I'm sure it's something that isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.

Hey, that reminds me of this cool thing I read on the internet. Have you seen this:

(copied from Brooklyn's link)
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:24 AM   #49
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Simple.

You put your arms around her and tell her that you love her. Don't over think this one.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:25 AM   #50
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:26 AM   #51
patteeu patteeu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightfyre View Post
You know, I went with: "I'm glad you finally told me but I've known for years." When I encountered this situation.
I went with "Wow. I'm sorry. I still consider you a friend though." Which probably wasn't the best approach, haha. I was shocked and the "I'm sorry" part was supposed to be about how difficult it must be to be gay in 1980s America, but it probably didn't come across that way. He's still a friend though, so it worked out OK.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:28 AM   #52
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:30 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by lcarus View Post
I'd say "right on. scissor me timbers"
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:31 AM   #54
Braincase Braincase is offline
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"It doesn't really affect our relationship one way or the other. I just want you to be happy."

Then ask her for tips on Colonel Angus. Flick like a snake, or lick like an ice cream cone.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:37 AM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu View Post
I'm flattered that you feel comfortable sharing this with me. I think it's great that you're able to come out. I'm sure it's something that isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.

Hey, that reminds me of this cool thing I read on the internet. Have you seen this:

(copied from Brooklyn's link)
What a great letter. Grab bread and OJ, we're out, just like you. Lol
Have her back, be supportive and treat it like its no big deal for you, although you understand her coming out to you is a big deal for her. You love, and want her to be happy and want her to be who she is and that you accept who she is. Period. It'll go a long way for her. Positive impact.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:42 AM   #56
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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Here is what you say and ask:

"The real issue here is not what I or others think or feel about you coming out, but rather what IS important is what you think and feel about coming out. What say you ??

That will get the ball rolling
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:55 AM   #57
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddha View Post
Simple.

You put your arms around her and tell her that you love her. Don't over think this one.
I thinking maybe this, less chance of me screwing it up

Then all i have to do is just make sure that the hug doesn't come across as a sympathy hug or something, instead of a 'love you' hug.
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:01 AM   #58
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:02 AM   #59
Dallas Chief Dallas Chief is offline
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I had a college room mate come out about a year after we all graduated. I totally feigned indignation and ranted and raved, preached to him about residing in the eternal flames of Hades, emphasizing the word FLAME several times. I acted all hurt and sad that he hid that from ME of all people... Then I gave him a big ole hug , told him I was just messing with him, loved him just the same, and congratulated him on having the balls to tell us all what we had all already known for so long. And then we all went to his first drag pageant/event. I know this probably doesn't help but I just wanted to share a similar experience I had.
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:13 AM   #60
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dallas Chief View Post
I had a college room mate come out about a year after we all graduated. I totally feigned indignation and ranted and raved, preached to him about residing in the eternal flames of Hades, emphasizing the word FLAME several times. I acted all hurt and sad that he hid that from ME of all people... Then I gave him a big ole hug , told him I was just messing with him, loved him just the same, and congratulated him on having the balls to tell us all what we had all already known for so long. And then we all went to his first drag pageant/event. I know this probably doesn't help but I just wanted to share a similar experience I had.
What did you wear in the parade ?
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