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Old 05-20-2013, 03:00 PM  
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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The list of 85 by Roastmaster Saul Good. And hey, it's actually saul good.

As a spinoff to the successful NFL Network's version of this and from the drama thread, it has come to fruition that this thread must be created.

Each day Hootie will reveal a member starting with 101 and working his way in order to number 1. I will update the OP as I see the names revealed.

*Warning this thread may cause a severe case of butthurt*

Let it begin!!

Hootie's List

Saul Good - A little about Roaster #2 (by frazod)
Spoiler!

85 BigRedChief
Spoiler!


84. StevieRay
Spoiler!


83. Rustshack
Spoiler!


82. KCnative
Spoiler!


81. Notorious
Spoiler!


80. Braincase
Spoiler!


79. big nasty kcnut
Spoiler!


78. crazycoffey
Spoiler!



77. Phobia

Spoiler!


76 Dave Lane

Spoiler!


75 KnowMo roasted by PGM
Spoiler!


74 Luv roasted by Mr. Flopnuts
Spoiler!

Last edited by Mr. Flopnuts; 06-25-2013 at 07:16 PM..
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:17 PM   #8761
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I thought only girls did the "and I was like" thing.
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Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
 
Old 06-24-2013, 01:19 PM   #8762
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
Maybe because it gets old reading thread after thread of you nipping at his heels.
By all means. Play on.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:20 PM   #8763
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I think my favorite part of the table video is when I'm using the leg as a penis and ex tries to stop me and I instinctively swat her arm away
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:22 PM   #8764
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I was at 'my bar' recently...

and my friend told me I had to retire this line

so I was super in with this girl....like totally in

eating up everything I said

so naturally, I bust out the following line:

"So I was charged with rape once..."

shocked reaction

"oh but don't worry, I was acquitted."

Another word was not said between us.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:22 PM   #8765
NewChief NewChief is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama View Post
Yeah.

Here is a funny story about the "stop girl" aka my ex.

So about a week after the table incident...her parents were coming down for a "game day" (Illini football...no one cares so you just wake up at 8 AM and start getting ****ed up)

All of her friends were like "so Megan...how do you feel about your parents meeting Rick?"

Of course she was concerned. I'm me.

So uh...yeah. By about 10 AM...I was already 5 car bombs deep. I had already been kicked out of a bar.

So about 3 PM I meet her parents. Things go really well. Kind of. Her last boyfriend was a mute around the parents so they appreciated me actually talking to them and being somewhat personable.

6 PM.

Wasted. I'm so drunk...we're basically both passed out on her couch...and legend goes...somehow I had a bloody nose. I have no idea why. So I'm sitting on her couch, picking 'bloody boogars' out of my nose...and wiping them on her arm.

In front of her parents.

anyone care to guess why I'm always single?

I have a lot of fun Megan stories. She put up with a lot of shenanigans. We're still quite fond of one another.
I don't want to get patronizing on you or anything... but I will:

You're already, by your own admission, heading into the creepy older dude who hangs around with young people realm. It's still working for you, but there's going to come a point where it won't work anymore and you'll truly be the creepy older dude who still thinks he's 21.

I have quite a few friends (many of them who are musicians) who worked this route for quite a few years (I'll confess I was sometimes jealous of them, because they were living fun, carefree lives and often with young, hot chicks) ... but now they're in their mid to late 30s, and they're pretty pathetic.

They work odd jobs, have zero professional experience, and no women in their peer group who are worth dating are very interested in them. They've also passed the age of being appealing to the younger chicks. Most of them now have substance abuse (alcohol or other things) issues and just seem live a pretty sad existence.

It sounds like you're heading in the right direction with your work and such, but just have a little bit of thought about planning for the long term.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:27 PM   #8766
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama View Post
Yeah.

Here is a funny story about the "stop girl" aka my ex.

Wasted. I'm so drunk...we're basically both passed out on her couch...and legend goes...somehow I had a bloody nose. I have no idea why. So I'm sitting on her couch, picking 'bloody boogars' out of my nose...and wiping them on her arm.

In front of her parents.

anyone care to guess why I'm always single?

I have a lot of fun Megan stories. She put up with a lot of shenanigans. We're still quite fond of one another.
Not really. I do find some of your stuff funny, but you may have run out of material.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:29 PM   #8767
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewChief View Post
I don't want to get patronizing on you or anything... but I will:

You're already, by your own admission, heading into the creepy older dude who hangs around with young people realm. It's still working for you, but there's going to come a point where it won't work anymore and you'll truly be the creepy older dude who still thinks he's 21.

I have quite a few friends (many of them who are musicians) who worked this route for quite a few years (I'll confess I was sometimes jealous of them, because they were living fun, carefree lives and often with young, hot chicks) ... but now they're in their mid to late 30s, and they're pretty pathetic.

They work odd jobs, have zero professional experience, and no women in their peer group who are worth dating are very interested in them. They've also passed the age of being appealing to the younger chicks. Most of them now have substance abuse (alcohol or other things) issues and just seem live a pretty sad existence.

It sounds like you're heading in the right direction with your work and such, but just have a little bit of thought about planning for the long term.
This is funny.

Because I tell my roommate the same thing (who is in a serious relationship and jealous of my absolute freedom.)

I had a meltdown when I turned 28. I said, and I quote:

"Dude, 27 was bad enough. 28? These girls are going to start hearing my age and just freaking out. I literally have like 1.5 years left before I have to grow up because 22 year olds will only go so far."

I mean. The chant at my ex's was consistently 27! 27! 27! When her younger sister was over with all of the 19 year olds some of them were legitimately creeped out. People couldn't believe I was 27.

I just have SO MUCH more fun with that age group. The current girl I'm "seeing" is...you guessed it. 22.

The line I generally have to use is this:

"OMG YOU'RE 28!?!"

Yeah. Hey. Question? How old is your mom?

"45."

Oh. Cool. How old is your dad?

"52."

Oh. Ok.

Usually goes right over their head.

A lot of times I do the "hey when I'm 90 you'll be 85."

That's effective.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:29 PM   #8768
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Yeah, wiping boogers on her arm in front of her parents isn't amusing. Banging her in a hottub in front of her parents and yours would be.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:30 PM   #8769
unnecessary drama unnecessary drama is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 View Post
Not really. I do find some of your stuff funny, but you may have run out of material.
I am never out of material. I have a new story every week. That's what happens when you drink Tuesday-Sunday.

I still can't figure out why my degenerative ways effect so many people on this board.

I'm a realist. I realize I'm ridiculous. I realize I have sociopathic tendencies. Doesn't effect anyone on this website other than yours truly.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:31 PM   #8770
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Yeah, wiping boogers on her arm in front of her parents isn't amusing. Banging her in a hottub in front of her parents and yours would be.
It's not that it was funny.

It's that it was so ridiculous it's sad. An impression maker, I am.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:32 PM   #8771
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama View Post
Yeah.

Here is a funny story about the "stop girl" aka my ex.

So about a week after the table incident...her parents were coming down for a "game day" (Illini football...no one cares so you just wake up at 8 AM and start getting ****ed up)

All of her friends were like "so Megan...how do you feel about your parents meeting Rick?"

Of course she was concerned. I'm me.

So uh...yeah. By about 10 AM...I was already 5 car bombs deep. I had already been kicked out of a bar.

So about 3 PM I meet her parents. Things go really well. Kind of. Her last boyfriend was a mute around the parents so they appreciated me actually talking to them and being somewhat personable.

6 PM.

Wasted. I'm so drunk...we're basically both passed out on her couch...and legend goes...somehow I had a bloody nose. I have no idea why. So I'm sitting on her couch, picking 'bloody boogars' out of my nose...and wiping them on her arm.

In front of her parents.

anyone care to guess why I'm always single?

I have a lot of fun Megan stories. She put up with a lot of shenanigans. We're still quite fond of one another.
Here is an excerpt from a study about nose bleeds and alcohol consumption. Since you "have no idea why":

Arterial nose bleeds in adults are serious and potentially life threatening whose cause is undertermined in 85% of cases.3 Our finding that alcohol is an important causal factor in nose bleeds is supported by the growing evidence of the cardiovascular ad cardiorespiratory effects of alcohol. Regular alcohol consumption reduces platelet aggregation and prolongs the bleeding time; these effects, coupled with haemodynamic changes such as vasodilatation and changes in blood pressure, may be important in causing some cases of arterial nose bleeds in adults.4,5 While the cause of nose bleeds in adults is likely to be multifactorial, the importance of high alcohol consumption should not be overlooked, and a detailed alcohol history should always be obtained.


You're funny.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:34 PM   #8772
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Arterial nose bleeds in adults are serious and potentially life threatening
Interesting. Thanks.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:35 PM   #8773
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Originally Posted by tooge View Post
Here is an excerpt from a study about nose bleeds and alcohol consumption. Since you "have no idea why":

Arterial nose bleeds in adults are serious and potentially life threatening whose cause is undertermined in 85% of cases.3 Our finding that alcohol is an important causal factor in nose bleeds is supported by the growing evidence of the cardiovascular ad cardiorespiratory effects of alcohol. Regular alcohol consumption reduces platelet aggregation and prolongs the bleeding time; these effects, coupled with haemodynamic changes such as vasodilatation and changes in blood pressure, may be important in causing some cases of arterial nose bleeds in adults.4,5 While the cause of nose bleeds in adults is likely to be multifactorial, the importance of high alcohol consumption should not be overlooked, and a detailed alcohol history should always be obtained.


You're funny.
Ah! Enlightening.

When I was 23 I bet a girl I could black myself 31 days in a row (I won.)

After this I noticed I would wake up and spit up a bunch of blood. I realized this wasn't healthy.

I went to the doctor and she was like..."well tell me about your drinking habits."

To which I explained that I, well, drink...a lot.

She then proceeded to hand me a bunch of pamphlets and told me to stop drinking.

I went to a wedding that night, got obliterated, spit up a bunch of blood in the morning, and banged a co-worker.

RESPONSIBLE, I AM
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:35 PM   #8774
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I am never out of material. I have a new story every week. That's what happens when you drink Tuesday-Sunday.

I still can't figure out why my degenerative ways effect so many people on this board.

I'm a realist. I realize I'm ridiculous. I realize I have sociopathic tendencies. Doesn't effect anyone on this website other than yours truly.
You're absolutely right that your degenerative ways effect nobody on this board and you are free to act however you wish, but you aren't a realist. You are self-aware in that you realize that your actions are not considered normal, but that doesn't make you a realist. Realists aren't raging alcoholics because alcohol is an escape from reality.
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If we win 8 games I'll post a nude selfie.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:36 PM   #8775
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I call it my 3 beer trigger.

I LEGITIMATELY do not want to drink most nights. I hate it. I don't really even like beer that much.

but, I've learned, I have a 3 beer trigger.

I have to gag down 36 ounces of beer...but after that 3rd beer...all of the sudden, no matter how terrible I felt, I start to feel really good.

I can be sick, I can be hungover, anything...

after 3 beers...a triggering occurs. And I'm ready for anything.

I love my 3 beer trigger.
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