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Old 06-13-2013, 04:45 PM  
rico rico is offline
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I Want to Embarrass One of My Groomsmen at My W-Reception,Would Like Your Suggestions

So I got married in Vegas a few weeks ago. Vegas is one backwards-ass city. Had a lot of fun.

So we are having the wedding reception in a few weeks and I am having my groomsmen choose a song to be played when they enter the room and approach the head table with the bridesmaids. I am sure all of you know are aware of what groomsmen entrance songs at wedding receptions are, so no further description necessary.

To say the least, this has been a frustrating process. Most of them have been putting WAY too much time and effort into it. It has been like "pulling teeth" trying to get them to choose the "perfect song."

One of my groomsmen was so conflicted and inde-freaking-cisive in terms of what song he should choose, that he sent this text to me today, "I have my song narrowed down to a few, but can't decide. Can you just think of something cool for me? I know I can count on you for that. Thanks, rico."

PERFECT

I replied with, "sure thing, man. You can count on me! I will come up with something that I know will fit you." That was a bunch of bullshit. Oh, you bet your ass that I am going to attempt to select the perfect song for him. But it's going to be perfect "funny," not perfect "fitting." And no one (including him obviously), with an exception of the DJ, is going to know what the song is until it is actually played when he enters the building and makes his way to the head table.

This particular groomsman, is a friend of mine from college. We were roommates for a couple years. He is a stereotypical hill-rod who literally spends all day listening to the pop-country FM stations on the radio while he dinks around the house doing random shit. He is kind of big and burly, was a successful wrestler in HS, speaks with a gruff voice (like he's growling) and grew up on a farm. He and I CONSTANTLY razz each other when we hang out. We have done this from the first day we met. Constantly giving each other shit. Constantly making fun of each other...about everything. With that said, I am surprised as hell that he actually trusts me with this task.

He is also an obnoxious, biased, tunnel-visioned Chicago White Sox and Dallas Cowboys fan. Hell, I won't be surprised if he is wearing his dumb, goofy-looking adjustable Chicago White Sox cap during pre-reception pictures and during the entire reception. I rarely see him not wearing that damn hat. He's had it for years too. I don't know if there are any songs out there that would piss a White Sox or Cowboys fan off, but if there is one..let me know!!!

Ok, so if this guy chose his own song, it would probably something that I personally would consider to be stupid as hell. Something like: "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney or "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. However, he made the unwise decision to put his "song of choice" in my hands. And as a result, his entrance at my wedding reception is going to be awesome.

So what y'all got? So far, I am stuck on the song below, but will gladly change it if you guys are able to suggest something better. Think of something CORNY as hell that would embarrass a hill-rod.Thanks in advance!!!

And please. No, "Barbie Girl" song. I've actually witnessed dudes enter a reception with that song because they wanted to be perceived as funny. I don't want this guy to come off as trying to be funny. I want 99% of the people there to think he is gay (NTTAWWT), not funny....because that would razz the hell out of him.

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Old 06-13-2013, 09:30 PM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHENZ A! View Post
I'm just saying there's all sorts of shit i could be doing! I could watch a movie, play a video game, rub one out, read a book, learn a foreign language, etc.. But i'm still watching the assholes because i love them, and I hate myself
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:47 PM   #62
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by Shogun View Post
Oh how I despise Nickelback. Unfortunately though, if this guy were to listen to a rock band instead of a country band, it would probably be Nickelback. Not to mention, the crowd will likely generally like Nickelback. Rural/small-town Iowans. This "reminds me." I need to write the DJ an email and demand NO NICKELBACK. My wife hates them as much or more than I do...we are rare for our area because Nickelback is one of the most requested at our local receptions/parties/bars. Yuck.
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:57 PM   #63
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* Side note about this groomsman: I've mentioned a couple times that he is extremely narcissistic. This may give you an idea of the extent of his narcissism. Every time my friends and I sat around and talked in depth about women, girlfriends, etc. His advice/answer to EVERYTHING, in his growly ass voice was "just let her suck ya off and she'll be happy." As if women LOVE to do that.

The funny thing was that he LITERALLY believed that an appropriate, helpful piece of advice to something random with your girlfriend would be that line. Let's say, you are like, "ahh man, I am so bummed. My girlfriend won't even talk to me." Dude would be like, "let her such ya off. It's that simple. Things will work out fine if ya just let her suck ya off."

It became one of our catch phrases in our group of friends...similar to the catch-phrases used in here. If we ever had a chance to drop that line, we would...in our growly ass voices trying to mimic him. And we'd do it right in front of him and he wouldn't know we were joking around OR mimicking his voice. He'd just be sitting there nodding his head and would be like, "yup, that's exactly what ya do!" And would be stone-cold serious about it.

Haha, dude is a trip.
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Old 06-13-2013, 11:58 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by CrazyPhuD View Post
This one isn't terribly subtle....

Great Howard Stern costume.

like 5 people alive get that reference [as in it's source].
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Old 06-14-2013, 12:04 AM   #65
AussieChiefsFan AussieChiefsFan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls View Post
I mean holy shit.
Also:

My god that would be hilarious.

Rico, please, whatever song you choose, you HAVE GOT TO film this.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:29 AM   #66
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Originally Posted by AussieChiefsFan View Post
My god that would be hilarious.

Rico, please, whatever song you choose, you HAVE GOT TO film this.
Plannin' on it, mang.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:32 AM   #67
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Haha, you guys may razz me about the song I chose for myself, but the people at the reception will "get it":

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Old 06-14-2013, 01:48 AM   #68
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Has "cream" or "purple rain" both by prince been suggested yet? Because they seem worthy suggestions...
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:50 AM   #69
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It's got to be Tiny Tim with Tiptoe Through the Tulips or Dancing Queen. And my vote's for Tulips.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:55 AM   #70
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Well my daddy left home when I was three, didn't leave much for mom and me.....
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:56 AM   #71
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Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze...
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Old 06-14-2013, 02:06 AM   #72
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Frank Zappa's, "valley girl", tasty choice
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:11 AM   #73
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YMCA??

In the Navy??
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:15 AM   #74
rico rico is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UK_Chief View Post
YMCA??

In the Navy??
Dude won't get it. He'll think I picked it for him because he looks like he spends time at the YMCA and because I mistakenly thought he was in the NAVY, not the National Guard (dude was in National Guard). I'm wanting something that will immediately go, "wtf is this shit?!?!" right when he begins walking.
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:17 AM   #75
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy! View Post
It's got to be Tiny Tim with Tiptoe Through the Tulips or Dancing Queen. And my vote's for Tulips.
The Tulips one is amazing...leaning towards Dancing Queen, but Tulips isn't out of the question. I change my mind frequently.
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