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Old 06-14-2013, 05:44 AM  
AphexPhin AphexPhin is offline
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Movies so bad you couldn't even finish them

Lets all list movies that were so bad you couldn't even finish them. This will give folks a heads up on what films to avoid at all costs.

I'll start...

Gerry - Hands down the most boring film I've EVER seen. It stars Matt Damon & Casey Affleck and its basically just them wandering through out the desert. ****in awful movie. I cant believe the same guy that directed Good Will Hunting and My Own Private Idaho directed this garbage. Avoid at all costs!

Gangster Squad -I couldnt believe how dumb this movie was. The script was terrible as well as the dialogue. And i couldnt believe that all those awesome actors (Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn , Josh Brolin) even agreed to do this shitty film.


Valkerie - THis is the worst Tom Cruise film I've ever seen. I walked out of the theater with about 45 minutes to go it was so stupid and boring. Basically its just a bunch of close up shots of Cruise talking on the phone to other people. Very little suspense or action in this.

Cosmopolis - I Looooooove David Croenberg films but hated this one. Easily his worst film. It stars that Twilight dbag and he cant act worth shit. They should of cast Joseph Gordon Levitt or someone that could actually act for Christs sakes.

Pearl Harbor - Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:28 AM   #16
JD10367 JD10367 is offline
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Too many to name. Most recently, Lords of Salem. Big Rob Zombie fan, had high hopes for it but it was dreadful.
Ooh! Forgot about that one! Me too. I walked out midway after she wandered next door and stared at the neon crucifix.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:31 AM   #17
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The last movie I actually walked out of the theater on was the Assassination of Jesse James. Had I been by myself I might have stuck it out, but I was with my wife and a female friend who just went because Brad Pitt was in it, and they were both clearly miserable. Painfully dull and slow, although I did finishing watching it later and it got somewhat better toward the end.

Royal Tennenbaums - holy shit. I wanted to murder every single one of them. Lasted 20 minutes. Deal with people like this in real life, even just a little, and you won't want to watch a movie about them. Unless they all get slowly tortured to death by a chainsaw weilding psychopath. Which I assume didn't happen.

The Thin Red Line. I have yet to meet a person who liked this piece of shit - just critics whom I suppose were all highly compensated for their gushing reviews. Everybody I ever talked to about it either quit watching after the first hour or wish they had quit watching after the first hour. A war movie without war. Sort of like a porno where everybody stays dressed and just have voiceover thoughts of ****ing. Ugh.

I had to be physically restrained from walking out on Moonstruck. Another critically acclaimed piece of crap. I tried to watch it later thinking perhaps I was just in a bad mood that day - nope, it just sucks. Maybe you have to be Italian to get it. Or drunk. Or retarded. Or all of the above.

I certainly wish I had walked out on Batman and Robin. And Tango and Cash, for that matter. And Gods and Generals. Oh my God. How could the same people who made Gettysburg make this piece of crap? It was like a boring high school history lecture.

Oh, and Urc Berry - you're a ****ing heathen. Watchmen was brilliant.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:39 AM   #18
rico rico is offline
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The Thin Red Line.
It seems like every time I see Jim Caveziel in a movie, he ends up getting his ass kicked someway, somehow. Gets killed in The Thin Red Line. Gets his ass brutally beaten in Passion of the Christ. Was tortured/whipped in the Count of Monte Cristo. Every time I see him on TV, I think to myself, "it's just a matter of time before this innocent-faced man gets his ass kicked."
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:42 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by frazod View Post
The last movie I actually walked out of the theater on was the Assassination of Jesse James. Had I been by myself I might have stuck it out, but I was with my wife and a female friend who just went because Brad Pitt was in it, and they were both clearly miserable. Painfully dull and slow, although I did finishing watching it later and it got somewhat better toward the end.

Royal Tennenbaums - holy shit. I wanted to murder every single one of them. Lasted 20 minutes. Deal with people like this in real life, even just a little, and you won't want to watch a movie about them. Unless they all get slowly tortured to death by a chainsaw weilding psychopath. Which I assume didn't happen.

The Thin Red Line. I have yet to meet a person who liked this piece of shit - just critics whom I suppose were all highly compensated for their gushing reviews. Everybody I ever talked to about it either quit watching after the first hour or wish they had quit watching after the first hour. A war movie without war. Sort of like a porno where everybody stays dressed and just have voiceover thoughts of ****ing. Ugh.

I had to be physically restrained from walking out on Moonstruck. Another critically acclaimed piece of crap. I tried to watch it later thinking perhaps I was just in a bad mood that day - nope, it just sucks. Maybe you have to be Italian to get it. Or drunk. Or retarded. Or all of the above.

I certainly wish I had walked out on Batman and Robin. And Tango and Cash, for that matter. And Gods and Generals. Oh my God. How could the same people who made Gettysburg make this piece of crap? It was like a boring high school history lecture.

Oh, and Urc Berry - you're a ****ing heathen. Watchmen was brilliant.
Gods and Generals was INTERMINABLE. I almost fell asleep during it. Ironically, it's worth staying to the end -- or fast-forwarding to the end -- for the death of Stonewall Jackson. IMO, that's the highlight of the movie. Stephen Lang gave a fantastic performance. But it takes over 3 hours to get there.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:48 AM   #20
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Some of the movies in here are WTF. Some really quality ones being named, and shouldn't be.

The last movie I couldn't finish was from Netflix called Wasted on the Young. Boring.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:50 AM   #21
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Gods and Generals was INTERMINABLE. I almost fell asleep during it. Ironically, it's worth staying to the end -- or fast-forwarding to the end -- for the death of Stonewall Jackson. IMO, that's the highlight of the movie. Stephen Lang gave a fantastic performance. But it takes over 3 hours to get there.
There was probably about an hour of decent movie buried in there. Unfortunately, it was lost amid three hours of endless, sappy, preachy, violin-accompanied monologues. I knew something was amiss when Chamberlain's wife droned on forever before he even left the house.
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:03 AM   #22
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:05 AM   #23
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:12 AM   #24
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Gone with the wind.

My wakefulness was gone with the wind.
People talk about this like it's on the same level with classics like Casablanca or Citizen Kane and I want to slap them. Way, way, way too long. And God I hated Scarlett. Did Vivian Lee sound that annoying in everything she did? Fran Drescher's voice isn't that bad. Fiddle-de-dee? Fiddle-de-**** YOU BITCH SHUT UP. It would have been much better if Rhett had shot her in the face at the end.

Which, if you're watching it with commercials, comes about five hours after the movie begins.

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Old 06-14-2013, 09:16 AM   #25
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:16 AM   #26
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I think I made it about 30 seconds into gone with the wind.
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:30 AM   #27
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And here I thought Gone With the Wind might be controversial.
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:33 AM   #28
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:34 AM   #29
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ah, thanks for reminding me.

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter goes on the list, too. Just terrible.
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:39 AM   #30
AphexPhin AphexPhin is offline
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When Jeff Goldblums black daughter starting doing gymnastics to fight off dinosaurs, I started doing laundry.
hahaha
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