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Old 05-20-2013, 04:00 PM  
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters - Thread #2

As a spinoff to the successful NFL Network's version of this and from the drama thread, it has come to fruition that this thread must be created.

Each day Hootie will reveal a member starting with 101 and working his way in order to number 1. I will update the OP as I see the names revealed.

*Warning this thread may cause a severe case of butthurt*

Let it begin!!

Hootie's List

Saul Good - A little about Roaster #2 (by frazod)
Spoiler!

85 BigRedChief
Spoiler!


84. StevieRay
Spoiler!


83. Rustshack
Spoiler!


82. KCnative
Spoiler!


81. Notorious
Spoiler!


80. Braincase
Spoiler!


79. big nasty kcnut
Spoiler!


78. crazycoffey
Spoiler!



77. Phobia

Spoiler!


76 Dave Lane

Spoiler!


75 KnowMo roasted by PGM
Spoiler!


74 Luv roasted by Mr. Flopnuts
Spoiler!


73. Mr Flopnuts
(by Iowanian)
Spoiler!


72. patteeu (by frazod)
Spoiler!


71. Bob Dole
Spoiler!

70. Sweet Daddy Hate/Raised On Riots/Darth CarlSatan (roasted by Clay)
Spoiler!

69.Setsuna (by rico)
Spoiler!

68. Burt (by J Diddy)
Spoiler!


67. petez28 (by PGM)
Spoiler!

Last edited by Pasta Giant Meatball; 07-01-2013 at 10:02 AM..
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:40 AM   #571
rico rico is offline
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# 69: Setsuna

* I was hesitant to do this one because roasting Setsuna is eerily similar to literally roasting chocolate in a crock-pot. A meltdown is inevitable and things are bound to get messy.

* Setsuna is commonly referred to as “Token” on Chiefsplanet. I assume this is because he is our “token” Jaguars fan. Every NFL team’s message board has a Jags fan poster, since the Jags fanbase is so darn stupid, none of them have figured a way to create their own message board. So of course, they sponge off of other NFL teams’ boards. It’s either that, or he got the nickname because he has tendency to steal arcade game tokens from people. One thing that I’ve learned in life is to never trust a Jaguars fan, especially if you have any form of currency in your pockets.

* Setsuna has a year round tan. Must be freaking nice living in Florida, where the sun shines all year round. I’d love to not have to spend money on a tanning bed during the winter and I’m sure Simply Red can relate.

* Setsuna ended up making Chiefsplanet his home on accident. Initially, he was trying to locate a different planet with members who are more similar to him…planet of the apes. These people are more similar to him because in terms of science……..Setsuna is really interested in Science fiction.

* When you google the word, “Setsuna,” you will discover that it is a Japanese word meaning, “a moment; an instant.” I don’t know why, but when I read the word, “instant,” it immediately reminded me of Uncle Ben’s instant cream of wheat. I tell ya what, when that Uncle Ben’s package indicates the cream of wheat being “instant,” it means it. During the Olympics one summer, I was able to begin fixin’ a bowl of that at the start of a Michael Phelps swim race, and was finished so quickly that I was still able to catch the majority of Michael Phelps proving himself the master of the swim race. And speaking of uncles, I recently read a well-known, influential book titled, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” I’d recommend the book to Setsuna if I felt he was interested in any reading material besides Japanimation comics.

* Pros: I like him. He’s hands down, our best Jaguars troll. He is way better than Blackmon. With a username like, “Blackmon,” I knew that guy was no good from the start. Yup, a username based off a stereotypical trouble-makin’ Jacksonville Jaguar, racking up DUI’s and receiving a 4 game suspension for the start of the 2013 season due to violating the substance abuse policy. Sounds about right. Setsuna lives in Florida. I hear they grow good watermelon in Florida. Maybe he could bring some Florida watermelon up with him to Kansas City for a visit sometime…?!?! That would be nice of him.

* Cons: He is probably an ex-con (most Japanimation-Jaguars fans are). Ex-cons like Setsuna are the reason(s) why that bastard, Aaron Hernandez will probably get away with murder. Setsuna claimed he was going to convert from the Jags to being a Chiefs fan if the Chiefs ended up with Cyrus Gray and Tyler Bray on their roster. He did not follow through with this and honestly, I don’t know why I thought he would to begin with, for you can’t trust a Jaguars fan to remain faithful to his word. Oh well, once you go Jack, you never go back, I guess….

* Future Outlook: Chiefsplanet is like a horror movie and I predict Setsuna will be the first one to die in this shit-show. The reason being because of all this jazz I constantly hear about the Jaguars moving to Los Angeles. Jaguars fans are a dying breed.
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Last edited by rico; 06-28-2013 at 02:10 AM..
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Old 06-28-2013, 02:08 AM   #572
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Oh my god.

So subtle. So vicious. So edgy.



I am smiling.
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:32 AM   #573
loochy loochy is offline
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Rico that one was really good. It wasn't too long and you put in a lot of very subtle insults and remarks. This roast has replay value. 9 pooties. Good job man!
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yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:19 AM   #574
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Yeah, that one was good. Your wife helped you, didn't she?
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:32 AM   #575
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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I want to see a Phobia roast of John Matrix
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:03 AM   #576
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:22 AM   #577
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That was good, rico.
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:45 AM   #578
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rico View Post
# 69: Setsuna
Less is more! At least a 78% improvement over past efforts. Almost lost me on the Uncle Ben/Michael Phelps build-up, but then implying he is an Uncle Tom was nice payoff.


And why aren't Rico's other roasts in the OP? He obviously spent, ahem, a lot of time on them, and they should be part of the official record for historical purposes and future research.
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:51 AM   #579
burt burt is offline
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I don't think I'm around enough to get roasted....
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:52 AM   #580
loochy loochy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 View Post
Less is more! At least a 78% improvement over past efforts. Almost lost me on the Uncle Ben/Michael Phelps build-up, but then implying he is an Uncle Tom was nice payoff.


And why aren't Rico's other roasts in the OP? He obviously spent, ahem, a lot of time on them, and they should be part of the official record for historical purposes and future research.
The extreme length would crash the thread
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Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:16 AM   #581
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Burt #68

Burt is a swell guy. He's so swell that nobody knows who he is, yet has multiple posts. He lives in this sweet little land that prevents him from actually flashing his testerone and picking a side in an argument, thereby allowing him to remain anonymous.

Despite his anonymity there are a couple of things that we can gather. The first of which is he's dropping weight like a rock and by a rock we mean he's using meth. We think he's taking it from frazod because the lighter he gets, the fatter frazod gets. Also his hair is falling out too and he's acquired multiple automatic weapons for "recreational use." Overall not a bad dude but come on. You've got a problem.

Pros: Extremely mellow, has a monkey on his avatar that has more hair on his balls than burts hair.

Cons: Bad meth addiction that's turning him into frazod. Too ****ing mellow, doesn't realize that "Burt" is a combination of two words "butt hurt" and needs to exercise that once. Seriously, grab some danglies.

Outlook: Most likely will die in a meth deal/gun deal/rogain deal gone bad at frazod's house in the next year or will continue to shrink to the size of an oompa loompa and go live amongst the lolliie pop kids.
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:23 AM   #582
loochy loochy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy View Post
Burt #68
Cons: Bad meth addiction that's turning him into frazod. Too ****ing mellow, doesn't realize that "Burt" is a combination of two words "butt hurt" and needs to exercise that once. Seriously, grab some danglies.
ha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 19,389
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:26 AM   #583
KC native KC native is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
Hey, guess what there, patteeu Jr. I. do. not. care. what. you. think.

Sign up for facebook and friend Richard Hootiman. Stay in touch, bruh. I don't care.

If you're trying to irritate me, keep working. I don't really care how you treat me. I'm more interested in how you interact with everybody else and you seem to be fine in that department. So, keep doing your roasts and don't worry about me. I'll be here but you and I are square. Let that go. No sweat here, SaulG. Have fun. Let the rest of the small stuff go.
Attentionwhore.jpg

Quit being a wet blanket like frazbob. And the hootie ban is bullshit.
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:30 AM   #584
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
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Attentionwhore.jpg

Quit being a wet blanket like frazbob. And the hootie ban is bullshit.
Haven't you heard the old saying?

If you love someone let them free and if they return lock the door
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:33 AM   #585
Phobia Phobia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC native View Post
Attentionwhore.jpg

Quit being a wet blanket like frazbob. And the hootie ban is bullshit.
Once again, don't care. But thanks for stating your opinion. Find him on facebook.
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