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Old 07-11-2013, 10:44 PM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Late night bullshit: ChiefsPlanet Dungeons & Dragons

There is nothing complex to this concept.

I am your Dungeon Master for the endurance of this thread. I have three dices ("die"?) with six sides each. (Here.)

There's really only one rule in this thread: You tell me what you want to do.

I will determine how difficult your maneuver is, and roll the dice to see if you're successful.

There usually is some sort of plot or mission in D&D, but let's just keep this simple and appropriately stupid.

Feel free to run with this as creatively as you wish, however. Also, feel free not to.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:29 AM   #61
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I would like to infiltrate Arrowhead, kidnap Alex Smith, tie him up in a burlap sack, take him to China and dump him in the Yangtze river.
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Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:37 AM   #62
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I am on a quest to find a woman with the elusive snapping pu@@y. Tell me Dungeon Master, will I ever complete this 40 year long journey ?
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:39 AM   #63
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER View Post
I would like to infiltrate Arrowhead, kidnap Alex Smith, tie him up in a burlap sack, take him to China and dump him in the Yangtze river.
Seeing how you're just some kid in Texas, you're going to need a 20.

***10***

That went about how I expected it to.

On your way up I-44, you hit a cop car when texting distracts you off the road.

The cop finds rope, burlap, a passport, a crate, and a topographical map of the Yangtze.

Your items have been confiscated, your car impounded, and you reside in a jail somewhere northeast of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:41 AM   #64
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy View Post
I am on a quest to find a woman with the elusive snapping pu@@y. Tell me Dungeon Master, will I ever complete this 40 year long journey ?
I do not have access to information like that, unfortunately.

I can only gauge the success of specific acts you wish to take a part of.
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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:42 AM   #65
Nightfyre Nightfyre is offline
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I wish to fetch a cow, load it into a catapult and launch it over a large keep wall in order to hit a party of knights demanding a holy grail outside the keep.
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Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:43 AM   #66
AustinChief AustinChief is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightfyre View Post
I wish to fetch a cow, load it into a catapult and launch it over a large keep wall in order to hit a party of knights demanding a holy grail outside the keep.
I want to successfully taunt him from the battlements in a French accent!
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:43 AM   #67
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Your items have been confiscated, your car impounded, and you reside in a jail somewhere northeast of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
I want to escape from the jail and get some help with my quest.

But just roll for the jail escape first.
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Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Losses is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:44 AM   #68
Nightfyre Nightfyre is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AustinChief View Post
I want to successfully taunt him from the battlements in a French accent!
Perhaps we should form a party in order to accomplish these tasks together.
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Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:45 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightfyre View Post
Perhaps we should form a party in order to accomplish these tasks together.
Sweet, I want to be a monk! not like a friar tuck type but more of a lecherous magical undying Rasputin type!
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:48 AM   #70
Nightfyre Nightfyre is offline
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I think I will go the anti-paladin route. That way we can have something in common.
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Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:49 AM   #71
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightfyre View Post
I wish to fetch a cow, load it into a catapult and launch it over a large keep wall in order to hit a party of knights demanding a holy grail outside the keep.
Given that the gravity in this world is considerably lighter, this is a relatively simple task, albeit one that is not going to do much damage to the knights. I'll give it 11 out of 20.

***3***

The catapult snaps, as the cow rolls lifelessly off of it to your feet.

PETA arrives at the scene. Your countrymen, fearless in the face of war, are pussies in the face of animal rights activists, and they scurry in all directions, leaving you to answer for your abuse of innocent livestock.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:50 AM   #72
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AustinChief View Post
I want to successfully taunt him from the battlements in a French accent!
Giving this a modest 3.

***6***

You have successfully mocked Nightfyre. But your accent is atrocious. God.
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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:50 AM   #73
Nightfyre Nightfyre is offline
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I should probably remove my fox pelts then...
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Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Nightfyre has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:52 AM   #74
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER View Post
I want to escape from the jail and get some help with my quest.

But just roll for the jail escape first.
Without giving me any sort of plan to do so, I'm going to give it a relatively generic difficulty of 14.

***14***

Ha! You're out on parole.

You've got an ankle bracelet, however. It will make your future tasks slightly more difficult if you choose to leave Oklahoma.
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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:55 AM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Without giving me any sort of plan to do so, I'm going to give it a relatively generic difficulty of 14.

***14***

Ha! You're out on parole.

You've got an ankle bracelet, however. It will make your future tasks slightly more difficult if you choose to leave Oklahoma.
I'll use my electronics expertise to shunt the bracelet off onto his pet gorilla, Fran. Allowing him freedom to execute his plan. I am perfectly willing to cut off his foot if necessary.
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