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Old 07-18-2013, 10:21 AM  
journeyscarab journeyscarab is offline
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Man: Female Jogger Defecates Next To My House...Repeatedly

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:06 PM   #31
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:09 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
I have to admit...the surveillance camera footage is pretty impressive. She does her business in about three seconds flat and goes right back to running.
Not quite as fast as that supermarket pooper lady.... but she's practicing....
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:11 PM   #33
aturnis aturnis is online now
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aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.aturnis Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:13 PM   #34
seclark seclark is offline
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if I tried to take a shit that quick i'd blow out my o-ring.
respect.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:26 PM   #35
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I'd set up a lawn sprinker working that area
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:27 PM   #36
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if I tried to take a shit that quick i'd blow out my o-ring.
respect.
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No doubt. I allocate 15 minutes for my own ritual. There's usually a little extra my boy, Colin sends down after the first splash.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:31 PM   #37
MeaTy The Pimp MeaTy The Pimp is offline
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She had the runs while on her runs. Go figure...
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:52 PM   #38
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I'm trying to understand why this person would be upset by this. Most people pay extra for the golden brown treatment.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:35 PM   #39
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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I Luv this story.

I wonder if it happens during roller derby matches?
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:38 PM   #40
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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Originally Posted by journeyscarab View Post
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.

**** that.

If she kept shitting on my house I'd spring out with a baseball bat and beat the shit out of her.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:56 PM   #41
seclark seclark is offline
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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
No doubt. I allocate 15 minutes for my own ritual. There's usually a little extra my boy, Colin sends down after the first splash.
yep...I can't believe she's not carrying a book w/her while she runs.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:57 PM   #42
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:58 PM   #43
BigChiefTablet BigChiefTablet is offline
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I know, right? /
And couldn't someone have thrown one of those cups of water they hand out on this dude to wash him down?
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Old 07-18-2013, 02:00 PM   #44
seclark seclark is offline
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And couldn't someone have thrown one of those cups of water they hand out on this dude to wash him down?
I don't think he shit himself...it was probably the guy running in front of him.
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Old 07-18-2013, 03:03 PM   #45
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I'd set up a lawn sprinker working that area
Motion activated. Now you’re talking.
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