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Old 07-30-2013, 01:04 PM  
Cave Johnson Cave Johnson is offline
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Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle



Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

Quote:
An Arkansas man paralyzed from the waist down told police he awoke Monday morning to a "burning pain," only to find his dog chewing on a ball. His ball, that is.

According to the official police report, the 39-year-old Trumann resident regularly sleeps in the raw, and was fully nude when he woke up yesterday around 7:45 AM to discover his dog "had eaten one of his testicles."

The unidentified owner had rescued the "small, white, fluffy" stray just three weeks ago, and had yet to take it in for a checkup.

Sadly, the dog's first visit to a vet was to be euthanized.

The Arkansas Department of Health will test the dog's remains for rabies.

Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, the man was transported to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center to be treated.
http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wake...ticl-963044875
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:24 PM   #31
seclark seclark is offline
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that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:35 PM   #32
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:58 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seclark View Post
that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec


"Yes, I'm serious. He ate my testicle!"
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:00 PM   #34
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seclark View Post
that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec
". No, no, just the one"
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:06 PM   #35
Tombstone RJ Tombstone RJ is offline
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that's what you get for sleeping naked with a dog.
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Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:11 PM   #36
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post


"Yes, I'm serious. He ate my testicle!"
"No. No, Man. Shit no, Man! I believe you could get your ass kicked for saying something like that, Man!"

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Old 07-30-2013, 03:16 PM   #37
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?
Nice

I wonder if his name was Johnny?
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:29 PM   #38
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone RJ View Post
that's what you get for sleeping naked with a dog.
If I was an asshole, I would say that it sounds like your wife gnawed one of your nuts off and you speak from experience.

However, I am not, so I won't.
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:07 PM   #39
Earthling Earthling is offline
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The good news is that the guy worries much less about nut hooks...
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:10 PM   #40
Tombstone RJ Tombstone RJ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy View Post
If I was an asshole, I would say that it sounds like your wife gnawed one of your nuts off and you speak from experience.

However, I am not, so I won't.
don't kid yourself, you are a tremendous asshole.
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Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.Tombstone RJ has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:14 PM   #41
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:17 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?
First he's gotta get his right step right.
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:35 PM   #43
KCtotheSB KCtotheSB is offline
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:40 PM   #44
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone RJ View Post
don't kid yourself, you are a tremendous asshole.
Tremendous?

That's giving me a heck of a lot of credit.

However, in light of this, I rescind my previous statement of not saying it and, in fact, I now do say it. The whole thing.
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:52 PM   #45
The Iron Chief The Iron Chief is offline
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That guy has a lot of balls to share that story...sec

How the F@ck did this story not happen in Florida??
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:03 PM
Tombstone RJ
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