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Old 08-03-2013, 08:32 PM  
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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What do I do?

I'm sure in tasteless fashion this thread will get a lot of jokes most of them won't be funny but oh well..

This girl I went to high school with made a depressing status on Facebook saying how she's given up. After talking with her in private she revealed she's going to lose her child in a custody battle and when she does she is going to kill herself. I've talked with her for 30 mins she said her mind is made up and it will be quick and painless.

Obviously my thought process is to call the authorities but here's the thing

A) what if she's over exaggerating the case. I call the police and then shell definitely lose the case.

B) She actually does follow through. Ill feel somewhat guilty.

What would you do in this situation?
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Old 08-04-2013, 06:08 AM   #46
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
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What method is she going to use that is quick and painless?
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Old 08-04-2013, 06:23 AM   #47
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Old 08-04-2013, 06:33 AM   #48
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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I went through something similar with a friend from school on FB. She wrote something cryptic about understanding her sister at last, who did commit suicide many years back, and something about hoping her daughter would understand. She also wrote about wishing she could change the pages already written in her "book" and that the story was over. Well, it turned out she is a hell of a drama queen, and after a few weeks of that sulking, she fell back in love with her man and everything was peachy again! Until the next time she went into dark drama mode...

That isn't to say the situation is the same in your friend's case, but my friend started up with that crap again and I changed it so I can't see anything she posts now. The last time she posted, "I hate him and I'm never trusting him again!!!!!!! (can't remember exactly how many ! she used, but it was more than I did...) that was the last straw. She is on permanent mute!
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Old 08-04-2013, 06:50 AM   #49
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Doesn't sound to stable.

Kid might be leaving for good reason...
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Old 08-04-2013, 06:56 AM   #50
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Doesn't sound to stable.

Kid might be leaving for good reason...

This, the kids will be better off going to their dads. She needs get help for herself and get over it.
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:00 AM   #51
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Sounds like a great mother.
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:03 AM   #52
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:38 AM   #53
Hydrae Hydrae is offline
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Talk to her. Get her to talk about what is going on. She may not have anyone she can share this stressful time with and that is what is building up the pressure for her. Maybe just having a sympathetic ear will help her get past the darkness she is fighting now. She needs to be able to see the rest of the world and life, not just the depression of losing her child.
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Old 08-04-2013, 08:14 AM   #54
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Old 08-04-2013, 08:15 AM   #55
Sully Sully is online now
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I've discussed this story before...

When I was young, my parents divorced. At first, tey had joint custody, and everything was about 50/50.
As I went through junior high, my real mom began to really play up the single life. She was out a lot, brought people home late, even married a guy in order to keep him in the country. She also spent all my child support money on her own things.
Meanwhile, my dad remarried, moved into a nice place in a nice school district, and had a really stable place.
One Christmas, the plan was that I spent Christmas Eve with my dad and Christmas Day with my real mom. Christmas Eve went great, but the Christmas morning my mom picked me up and everything went to shit. My mom was on a tear, berating me for not being a good son, for being excited about the gifts my dad could buy me that she couldn't, etc. I was 12, and it took all the courage I had to tell her that I wasn't going to spend Christmas this way, and that she should take me back to my dad's.
The next day, I was back at my mom's. it was difficult and awkward. She proceeded to tell me, in great detail, how she had tried to kill herself the day before, putting the blame on me for abandoning her. You have no idea how that ****s with a 12-year ild's mind. I finally moved in with my father a few years later and cut off all contact with her for years. As I was in my 20s, we began to try and rebuild a relationship. Thing is, she was still the same. Guilt trips, not "getting enough" from me as her son, etc. after a particular weekend where she needed money and I had none to give, and refused to go to friends to borrow any, it happened again.
She called me asking me to come take her to the ER, because she was having "insulin problems." After a few hours at KU Med, it got weird. I was asked into a private room with a doctor and asked if I could be around her for a few days to keep an eye on her. I said I would, and figured it was a health issue. On the way home, though, she let me know she had tried to kill herself, and if I was a better son, she wouldn't have felt so hopeless.
It's been 10 years since we've had a relationship. We've talked a couple of times, but I refuse to expose myself, and now my family, to that type of abuse and manipulation. I am ****ed up in so many ways because of her.

My long-winded point is this...
Good. It's good she's losing custody. She's unable to be a stable influence on her child and can do more damage than good. I pray to God she doesn't take her life, and that she finds the help she needs. But my thoughts are with that kid, and hoping he or she doesn't have to go through the shit I have.
I don't have an answer for your question, but I just felt very strongly about this, and I apologize for the hijack.
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Old 08-04-2013, 08:57 AM   #56
Mrs. Loopner Mrs. Loopner is offline
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You need to call the Suicide Hotline and tell them what you know. They know best how to handle it and will contact her.

Don't wait for someone else to call. That's like when the electricity goes off, you think someone else will then no one does.

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Suicide Prevention

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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-TALK (273-8255) (800) 799-4TTY (799-4889)
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Old 08-04-2013, 09:16 AM   #57
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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Fathers deserve to get the kids too. I have no sympathy for her if she loses custody of them kids.

It is devastating I know that, but it is about time the courts are fair to dads. She can get over her self pity pot and be supportive of the kids anyways by paying child support and get visit time with them.
Yup. She isn't entitled to shit just because she is female.
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Old 08-04-2013, 09:42 AM   #58
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sully View Post
I've discussed this story before...

When I was young, my parents divorced. At first, tey had joint custody, and everything was about 50/50.
As I went through junior high, my real mom began to really play up the single life. She was out a lot, brought people home late, even married a guy in order to keep him in the country. She also spent all my child support money on her own things.
Meanwhile, my dad remarried, moved into a nice place in a nice school district, and had a really stable place.
One Christmas, the plan was that I spent Christmas Eve with my dad and Christmas Day with my real mom. Christmas Eve went great, but the Christmas morning my mom picked me up and everything went to shit. My mom was on a tear, berating me for not being a good son, for being excited about the gifts my dad could buy me that she couldn't, etc. I was 12, and it took all the courage I had to tell her that I wasn't going to spend Christmas this way, and that she should take me back to my dad's.
The next day, I was back at my mom's. it was difficult and awkward. She proceeded to tell me, in great detail, how she had tried to kill herself the day before, putting the blame on me for abandoning her. You have no idea how that ****s with a 12-year ild's mind. I finally moved in with my father a few years later and cut off all contact with her for years. As I was in my 20s, we began to try and rebuild a relationship. Thing is, she was still the same. Guilt trips, not "getting enough" from me as her son, etc. after a particular weekend where she needed money and I had none to give, and refused to go to friends to borrow any, it happened again.
She called me asking me to come take her to the ER, because she was having "insulin problems." After a few hours at KU Med, it got weird. I was asked into a private room with a doctor and asked if I could be around her for a few days to keep an eye on her. I said I would, and figured it was a health issue. On the way home, though, she let me know she had tried to kill herself, and if I was a better son, she wouldn't have felt so hopeless.
It's been 10 years since we've had a relationship. We've talked a couple of times, but I refuse to expose myself, and now my family, to that type of abuse and manipulation. I am ****ed up in so many ways because of her.

My long-winded point is this...
Good. It's good she's losing custody. She's unable to be a stable influence on her child and can do more damage than good. I pray to God she doesn't take her life, and that she finds the help she needs. But my thoughts are with that kid, and hoping he or she doesn't have to go through the shit I have.
I don't have an answer for your question, but I just felt very strongly about this, and I apologize for the hijack.
Holy shit man I'm sorry you went through all of that.
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Old 08-04-2013, 09:53 AM   #59
Sully Sully is online now
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Holy shit man I'm sorry you went through all of that.
I really don't say all that for sympathy. I just say it as someone who has (maybe) some insight to that type of situation. And someone who hopes beyond hope that this woman can get help, if she needs it, for her child... rather than leaving some pretty big scars.
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Old 08-04-2013, 10:03 AM   #60
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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calling the cops will ensure that she does lose the child and lead to more depression


keep talking to her, she wouldn't of told you if she didn't want attention

change subject a little bit ... slowly try to talk about less depressing stuff

don't try to get laid ... you're a man, don't act like it wasn't crossing your mind to be the hero and get some

need to contact a close friend and/or family of hers to get help with making a better support system for her

jmo
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