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Old 09-24-2013, 12:33 AM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Late Night Bullshit: God has now entered the forums.

Hello, Children.

This Is God.

I Figured It's Been About... 2,000 Years Or So Since I Last Bestowed You With My Wisdom Directly.

So. I Chose This Forum For My Next Bestowing.

Here's The Problem, Though: Being God Is Pretty Time Consuming, So I've Only Got Two Hours.

And I Didn't Want To Go Through The Hassle Of Creating My Own Username, Either. So The Actual Direckshun Is Running In A Celestial Mouse-Wheel, Totally Naked With A Ball Gag In His Mouth.

What's On Your Mind. Tell Me Your Praise, Your Sorrows, Give Me Your Questions.

You Get Two Hours To Shoot The Shit With God. Go.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:46 AM   #16
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McFly View Post
Why did they cancel Freaks & Geeks after only one season?
Because I Liked Seth Rogan Too Much For Him To Be Introduced On Talk Shows For A Generation As "The Lead From Freaks & Geeks."
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:46 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
The Chiefs Are Not The "Job" Of The NFL.

The Chiefs Are The "Saul" Of The NFL.
Thine were being sarcastic. I was going to say God isn't sarcastic until i remembered Job.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:47 AM   #18
Stop, Chiefs Stop, Chiefs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
I've Got Bigger Things To Worry About.

Get It? I'm Implying Your Penis Is Small.

Edit: Seriously, Though. Who Gives A Shit.
I'll take that as a no. Thanks, o Lord!

Now for a bigger question: I'm taking this thread as proof that you actually exist, are a supreme being and created life as we know it, etc. This flies in the face of 31 years of intense theological study that convinced me otherwise.

Do you mind if I don't worship you? Because I really don't have time for it.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:47 AM   #19
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McFly View Post
Tell that to the folks that live in Tornado and hurricane states, God.
Fair Point.

Honestly I Barely Pay Attention To The Flyover States.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:48 AM   #20
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox View Post
Thine were being sarcastic. I was going to say God isn't sarcastic until i remembered Job.
People Aaaaaaaaaaaalways Gotta Throw Job In My Face.

How About All The Good Shit I've Done? For Crying Out Loud.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:49 AM   #21
cdcox cdcox is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox View Post
Thine were being sarcastic. I was going to say God isn't sarcastic until i remembered Job.
But of course, you already knew that.
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cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.cdcox is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:50 AM   #22
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead View Post
Do you mind if I bang this girl before I marry her?
Pace yourself.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:50 AM   #23
BWillie BWillie is offline
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Can you some how make a legal buy one get one free hooker sale?
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:51 AM   #24
TimBone TimBone is offline
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VARSITY
Seriously though - in reference to the Westboro Baptist folks.....what's wrong with your people, man?
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:52 AM   #25
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McFly View Post
Seriously though - in reference to the Westboro Baptist folks.....what's wrong with your people, man?
Those aren't God's people...
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:53 AM   #26
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead View Post
I'll take that as a no. Thanks, o Lord!

Now for a bigger question: I'm taking this thread as proof that you actually exist, are a supreme being and created life as we know it, etc. This flies in the face of 31 years of intense theological study that convinced me otherwise.

Do you mind if I don't worship you? Because I really don't have time for it.
I Don't Really Feel Like I Need To Be Worshipped, Honestly. Stopped Feeling That Way About 600 Years Or So Ago.

What's The Point? Seriously, I Get Almost Nothing Out Of It Anymore.

Can You Be Nicer, Though? Care About People Who Are Less Fortunate? Give More Of What You Have Away And Provide More For People Who Will Never Be Able To Return The Favor?

You Should Do Those Things. I Care More About That Than I Do How Many Times You Hit The Deck To Thank Me For Shit I Did A Million Years Ago.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:54 AM   #27
cdcox cdcox is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass View Post
Those aren't God's people...
.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:54 AM   #28
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdcox View Post
But of course, you already knew that.
Don't **** With Me, Man. This Is Not A Party Trick.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:55 AM   #29
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BWillie View Post
Can you some how make a legal buy one get one free hooker sale?
I Can, Yes.

I Have A Feeling That Is Not What You're Asking, However. But That Is What Your Grammar Implied You Were Saying.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:56 AM   #30
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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Can we talk to Dog instead?
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