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Old 10-05-2013, 05:35 PM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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I ****ing hate cigarettes

My mom calls me about a week ago and pretty much goes off on me because she hasn't seen my kids since March. I tried to explain to her like I have a hundred times before that we dont come around much because I can't stand her cigarette smoke infested house. She acts like Im crazy and honestly believes its not that harmful. She lives in a small two bedroom house, refuses to open the windows, and the smoke is so thick you can see clouds of it all over the house. If I ask her to air it out before we come and not smoke while we're there she pulls the old "when you pay my rent I'll stop smoking" card.

As a kid growing up I had a lot of health problems that pretty much ended about a year after I moved out on my own. I remember being embarrassed at church because my clothes smelled like I had just walked out of a bar all the time. My friends used to give me shit about it too and nobody ever wanted to come over because of it...that's how bad it was/is.

So feeling bad I took the kids today and stayed for an hour (couldn't handle anymore). Now I have the worst migraine Ive ever had and I can still taste the shit in the back of my throat. I love my mom to death, and my kids love their grandma but I don't know what else to do. How do you convince a 72 year old woman set in her ways and that's been smoking since she was a teenager the shit is toxic to us? I dont want to miss out on her last years, and I dont want her to miss her grand kids growing up but I also cant handle her disgusting habit.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:23 PM   #31
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:25 PM   #32
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf View Post
All he is asking her to do is not smoke when he brings the grandchildren over. If she is too ****ing hardheaded to do that and refuses to do anything else to be able to see the kids, she can **** right off.
No doubt it's super selfish on her end. Just hard to cut ties with Mom with zero regret.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:27 PM   #33
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf View Post
All he is asking her to do is not smoke when he brings the grandchildren over. If she is too ****ing hardheaded to do that and refuses to do anything else to be able to see the kids, she can **** right off.
What the **** is wrong with you?
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:27 PM   #34
listopencil listopencil is offline
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:28 PM   #35
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McFly View Post
No doubt it's super selfish on her end. Just hard to cut ties with Mom with zero regret.
This.

My mom died when I was 17 from lung cancer

Not a day goes by that I don't wish I'd had one chance to take my kids to her house. Needless to say she didn't get the opportunity to lay eyes on either one of them.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:28 PM   #36
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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What the **** is wrong with you?
He's a lone wolf.

He's gone rogue from the pack.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:29 PM   #37
Baconeater Baconeater is offline
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I don't think it's unreasonable to expect her not to smoke around your kids if she is asking to see them.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:29 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
It's an unfortunate situation but a little smoke from time to time isn't going to kill your kids.
A little ddt in the air isn't going to kill them either, but I'd rather not breathe it.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:31 PM   #39
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
What the **** is wrong with you?
She's using the mother/grandmother card to make it OK to act like an asshole. That is selfish on her part. Is he supposed to bend to her will just because she is his mother? I say "no", and if I was in this exact same situation I wouldn't feel one bit bad about it.

If that makes me a bad person in anyone's eyes, so be it.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:32 PM   #40
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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He's a lone wolf.

He's gone rogue from the pack.
I consider myself a one man wolf pack.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:34 PM   #41
Chromatic Chromatic is online now
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You said she tried ecigs. Does she still have them/it? If so, ask her to at least use it when you and the kids are over. 3-4 hours using an ecig when you and the kids are around shouldn't be a big deal.

Should be a decent compromise, all things considered.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:36 PM   #42
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:37 PM   #43
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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I consider myself a one man wolf pack.
I'm more of a one man litter of kittens myself.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:37 PM   #44
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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I prefer cigars. Looks like a penis.
Just don't eat them.
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:38 PM   #45
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