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Old 12-18-2013, 11:47 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Breaking News: I am the disowned heir of a wealthy matriarch.

I just found out through the grapevine that my mom's mother went into assisted living a while back and sold her home for a nice seven-digit sum.

Why? Why? I come from a long and tightly held family tradition of rural poverty, and I just assumed that she followed that tradition. Out of the blue, I discover an elderly relative - a direct relative, even - with money, and she's the one person who disowned the family before I was born.

I could have been an heir! I would have made a great heir! I look so good in a smoking jacket and pipe! And now I'm just a guy whose rich grandmother dislikes him for even being born. There's no fun in that.

I kind of wish that I had been born out of wedlock so I could claim to be the bastard disowned heir of a wealthy family. That would be a cool story, much better than just being a regular disowned heir.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:48 PM   #2
WayneBowe WayneBowe is offline
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Let me get $10
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I can confirm that A-list celebs have sex just the same way we do.

Justin Verlander has an average cock and lightly trims his pubes.
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WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.WayneBowe Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:50 PM   #3
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WayneBowe View Post
Let me get $10
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:51 PM   #4
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Should have held on to that Dell stock.
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'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.'Hamas' Jenkins is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:52 PM   #5
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.
If I can talk her into writing just you back into her will, what's it worth to you?

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Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:52 PM   #6
Dayze Dayze is offline
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prayers sent
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:53 PM   #7
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
Should have held on to that Dell stock.
I bet she bought it.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:55 PM   #8
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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wait
Does this have anything to do with needing a thousand dollars to procure that inheritance for you?
If so, we're related.
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J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:58 PM   #9
Dayze Dayze is offline
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you probably just got a bogus email fro someone in Sudan.
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:59 PM   #10
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts View Post
If I can talk her into writing just you back into her will, what's it worth to you?


You can pretend you're me if it'll help. She has no idea what I look like.

I find this quite surprising and humorous. She left the family and disowned them long before I was born. All I knew about her was that she lived in a mobile home in California, so I assumed that she was ... um ... you know ... a stereotypical mobile home dweller. And maybe she was. But she owned the land underneath the mobile home, and apparently it was in Napa County or something.

I really should develop a relationship with her. Maybe I'll go visit. She started a second family that she apparently likes, so I need to figure out how to cut them out...er, integrate myself into the family.
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Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:59 PM   #11
ClevelandBronco ClevelandBronco is offline
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I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.
Want to get owned? Go screw with Phobia. He's in a mood.
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Old 12-19-2013, 12:12 AM   #12
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I'd give it to you, but I am disowned.
I knew it.....
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-19-2013, 06:37 AM   #13
ChiefsNow ChiefsNow is offline
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Old 12-19-2013, 06:43 AM   #14
lcarus lcarus is offline
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I always secretly had a fantasy that I was adopted and had an extremely rich patriarch father that dumped me as a baby. But alas, I look exactly like my dad and have a few of my mothers features. Nope. No deep dark family secrets. Booooring.
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Old 12-19-2013, 07:08 AM   #15
loochy loochy is offline
That's what she said.
 
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Ha! This thread is actually serious. It started out sounding like one of those scam emails from Africa.
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yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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