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Old 01-12-2014, 10:53 AM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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It Ain't Easy Bein' Jeezy!

http://allchristiannews.com/pastor-t...lhbf4.facebook

Walking on water is not easy. Not too many people have the ability. Letís see, thereís Jesus, and well, thatís about it. Unfortunately for one pastor on the West Coast of Africa, his attempt to become the second man to make this impossible feat a reality cost him his life.

Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation that he was capable of reenacting the very miracles of Jesus Christ. He decided to make it clear through way of demonstration on Gabonís beach in the capital city of Libreville.

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

According to an eyewitness, Kabele took his congregation out to the beach. He told them that he would cross the Kombo estuary by foot, which is normally a 20 minute boat ride.

Sadly by the second step into the water Kabele found himself completely submerged. He never returned.

This is not the first incident of this nature in Africa. At Ibadon zoo in south-west Nigeria, a self-proclaimed Prophet claimed to be able to do what the Daniel of the bible did by walking into a den full of lions.

Though he was warned numerous times by zoo keepers, according to NG Newspapers, the Prophet thought of them as nothing more than enemies of progress. The Prophet, with a crowd of people watching, put on a long red robe and proceeded to enter the cage full of lions.

Within seconds of opening the door, the lions ripped the Prophet from flesh to bone. The bible should come with a warning label, ďDonít try this at home.Ē
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Old 01-13-2014, 12:55 PM   #16
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prison Bitch View Post
Obama claimed to be able to make the seas stop rising and heal the planet (6/3/08 St Paul MN speech). A deity! And you swallowed that load while on your knees. Same deal.
At least Obama existed. Thats a step in the right direction.
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High Tech is Sorcery and the people who are really powerful are literally telling people to commit crimes using the psychic interspace created by the WWW and Wireless. They are controlling peoples actions like drones . The two things are deeply intertwined. The more man's brain interfaces with machines the creepier it gets. They use brains separate from a human body in a supercomputer and you have The Image of the Beast. The military has been doing this since the 50s
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Old 01-13-2014, 01:01 PM   #17
go bowe go bowe is offline
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Originally Posted by Dave Lane View Post
At least Obama existed. Thats a step in the right direction.
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Old 01-13-2014, 01:29 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Lane View Post
At least Obama existed. Thats a step in the right direction.
"We worship an awesome God in the blue states." -Barack Obama (7/27/04, Boston MA speech)
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Old 01-13-2014, 01:51 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Prison Bitch View Post
"We worship an awesome God in the blue states." -Barack Obama (7/27/04, Boston MA speech)
But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

-Jesus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris616 View Post
High Tech is Sorcery and the people who are really powerful are literally telling people to commit crimes using the psychic interspace created by the WWW and Wireless. They are controlling peoples actions like drones . The two things are deeply intertwined. The more man's brain interfaces with machines the creepier it gets. They use brains separate from a human body in a supercomputer and you have The Image of the Beast. The military has been doing this since the 50s
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Old 01-13-2014, 02:02 PM   #20
Prison Bitch Prison Bitch is online now
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Originally Posted by Dave Lane View Post
But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

-Jesus
He isn't real, hence he never said that.

But guess who is real, and who actually has slain people while serving as Commander In Chief?
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Old 01-13-2014, 02:20 PM   #21
loochy loochy is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prison Bitch View Post
He isn't real, hence he never said that.

But guess who is real, and who actually has slain people while serving as Commander In Chief?
George Bush?
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Please note that any racist, sexist, or otherwise outrageous opinions expressed in this post have been made for comedic or trolling purposes only and are not the actual opinions of loochy or any affiliated entities. Reader discretion is advised.

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yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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Old 01-13-2014, 02:39 PM   #22
Prison Bitch Prison Bitch is online now
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Lane didn't vote for Bush. I'm taking about the killer whom he did vote for.
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Old 01-13-2014, 02:41 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prison Bitch View Post
Lane didn't vote for Bush. I'm taking about the killer whom he did vote for.
Ronnie Raygun?
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I'm just a little pussy from Iowa
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Old 01-13-2014, 03:32 PM   #24
go bowe go bowe is offline
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al gore is a killer?
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Old 01-13-2014, 03:34 PM   #25
FishingRod FishingRod is offline
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I can walk on water…




In February
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FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.FishingRod Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 01-13-2014, 03:40 PM   #26
go bowe go bowe is offline
bye bye bo...
 
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depends on weather al gore is rite or knot, doesn't it?
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