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Old 02-04-2014, 10:30 AM  
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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The 2014 CP Roasts thread

Since the Broncos fail finished another NFL season, it is time for some off season shenanigans. By request of some quality longterm posters, I have started this thread for CPers to show off their smack skills. Let it begin....
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Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:15 PM   #46
Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Scrawny Armed Alex Smith is offline
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Originally Posted by npayne1978 View Post
I'm sure Casey Printers is available and waiting by the phone.
He's been in Canada too long. Damaged goods imo.
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Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:23 PM   #47
Big Poppa Payne Big Poppa Payne is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
The fact that I have a dirty mind wouldn't surprise anyone. The fact that you have one at all shoots the moon. Be honest... Just how badly would you fail the Wonderlic?
Don't you get like 10 points just for spelling your name right? I think Sebastian Janikowski scored one of the lowest ever, it was just above the mentally retarded level. So I'll probably do a little better than that.

Last edited by Big Poppa Payne; 02-04-2014 at 12:32 PM..
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Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.Big Poppa Payne would the whole thing.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:23 PM   #48
Cephalic Trauma Cephalic Trauma is offline
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Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:42 PM   #49
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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Who will poke the bear and do phobia?
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Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Giant Meatball is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:03 PM   #50
digger digger is offline
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
Who will poke the bear and do phobia?
(no homo)
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digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.digger has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:44 PM   #51
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
We need pawn mower or a roast of pawnmower.
Yes, anything to bring his sexy buns back in here. No homo, yo....just missing me some pawnmower like whoa.
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tl;dr

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Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.
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rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:52 PM   #52
RunKC RunKC is offline
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Can we bring Knowmo back for one day just to hear his excuses for this loss? It would be pretty funny and amusing.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:01 PM   #53
rico rico is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
Rico - tl;dr

Boom roasted


Brilliant. Touching. Amazing.

That was a very original and well thought-out roast!!! I dunno about all you fellers, but I was DEFINITELY amused. I mean, who ever thought of associating tl;dr with ME??!!?!? It sure as shit has never crossed my mind!!!
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Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.
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rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.rico has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:03 PM   #54
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:06 PM   #55
Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Scrawny Armed Alex Smith is offline
No mayonnaise for me today!!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
/end thread
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Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Scrawny Armed Alex Smith Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:09 PM   #56
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:12 PM   #57
loochy loochy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
1.) Rep for providing the first actual roast on this thread.

2.) It's KOMODO dragon. "Komono dragon" reminds me of "Kimono dragon." Kimono dragon?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:13 PM   #58
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 04:25 PM   #59
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.

Idols: George Bush, Byron De La Beckwith, James Earl Rey, George Zimmerman, and the crazy bearded Vietnam vet that beat up the black dude on the bus.

And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.

Last edited by TimBone; 02-04-2014 at 04:50 PM..
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TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimBone has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 02-04-2014, 04:29 PM   #60
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson View Post
Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.


And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.
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theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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