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Old 02-04-2014, 09:30 AM  
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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The 2014 CP Roasts thread

Since the Broncos fail finished another NFL season, it is time for some off season shenanigans. By request of some quality longterm posters, I have started this thread for CPers to show off their smack skills. Let it begin....
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Old 02-04-2014, 03:36 PM   #61
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson View Post
Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.


And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.


You left out how much he loves insurance fraud but well done.

Is it really a roast if everything is true?
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Old 02-04-2014, 03:38 PM   #62
Big Smoke Big Smoke is offline
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Brilliant. Touching. Amazing.

That was a very original and well thought-out roast!!! I dunno about all you fellers, but I was DEFINITELY amused. I mean, who ever thought of associating tl;dr with ME??!!?!? It sure as shit has never crossed my mind!!!
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Old 02-04-2014, 03:39 PM   #63
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post


You left out how much he loves insurance fraud but well done.
Thanks. I wanted to hit that, but I didn't know the details. Just heard of it secondhand.
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Old 02-04-2014, 03:39 PM   #64
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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Well done stepping up you two
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Old 02-04-2014, 03:44 PM   #65
Rams Fan Rams Fan is offline
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Dear KnowMo,

The regular season means jack shit to the Broncos. Just like the Superbowl did.

From,

Rams Fan
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HOLY MOTHER OF **** THIS NEVAR HAPPENS TO US!! HOW THE **** DID WE WIN THIS? I'M SIGGING MYSELF UP FOR THIS ONE.
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:16 PM   #66
TimBone TimBone is offline
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I knew mine was weak, but I didn't think it was a thread killer.
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:32 PM   #67
Inmem58 Inmem58 is offline
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Sorter,


Please stop with your bullshit posts that make zero sense. Thanks douche bag.
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:36 PM   #68
Pasta Giant Meatball Pasta Giant Meatball is offline
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Call em out folks
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:50 PM   #69
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
Call em out folks
I can't think of shit. Some ideas will probably hit me when I'm in my car, driving somewhere. I'm snowed in right now and can't drive anywhere.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.
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rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:57 PM   #70
COchief COchief is offline
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Originally Posted by rico View Post
I can't think of shit. Some ideas will probably hit me when I'm in my car, driving somewhere. I'm snowed in right now and can't drive anywhere.
Please don't, it's too soon, we need more time to recover from your last attempts.

/egage rico ragemode
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:01 PM   #71
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
Call em out folks
Put a list of names out there. I might try another.
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:20 PM   #72
ThaVirus ThaVirus is online now
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Scott Free has been letting the butthurt flow freely as of late.

He's aching for a roast.
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:20 PM   #73
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:28 PM   #74
rico rico is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by COchief View Post
Please don't, it's too soon, we need more time to recover from your last attempts.

/egage rico ragemode
I bombed the Hootie roasts.

However, try my Setsuna one again...wasn't as bad. I'll repost the damn thing. I think I posted a Direckshun roast that wasn't as good as the Setsuna, but wasn't as bad as the Hootie roasts...
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.
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rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.rico 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:31 PM   #75
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by PGM View Post
Since the Broncos fail finished another NFL season, it is time for some off season shenanigans. By request of some quality longterm posters, I have started this thread for CPers to show off their smack skills. Let it begin....
Has Rico been banned from this thread? It's for his own good.
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