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Old 03-19-2014, 08:49 PM  
ROYC75 ROYC75 is offline
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
 
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Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian.

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son, what happened last night?

Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean "? I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?

His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99
Hot Breakfast: $4.20
Two Aspirins: $.38

Saying the right thing at the right time......

PRICELESS

Last edited by ROYC75; 03-19-2014 at 09:59 PM..
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Old 03-19-2014, 08:59 PM   #2
Jewish Rabbi Jewish Rabbi is online now
What's up braj?
 
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Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Jewish Rabbi Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:14 PM   #3
Ben N 58men Ben N 58men is offline
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Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.Ben N 58men has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:36 PM   #4
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Wow, this doesn't sound like something Jack would do at all. I wonder what happened.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:38 PM   #5
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:57 PM
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:24 PM   #6
Jimmya Jimmya is offline
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Nice story.
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Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.Jimmya is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:51 AM   #7
ForeverChiefs58 ForeverChiefs58 is offline
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I heard Jack was interested in the chiefs
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ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:56 AM   #8
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
**** off
 
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Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Pushead2 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:32 AM   #9
InChiefsHell InChiefsHell is offline
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
 
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I thought it was funny.
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InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.InChiefsHell is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 03-20-2014, 07:30 AM   #10
theelusiveeightrop theelusiveeightrop is offline
Spiraling down the Drain
 
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Bring him in for a look?
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theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.theelusiveeightrop is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-20-2014, 07:35 AM   #11
Sully Sully is offline
It Goes On
 
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Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:00 AM   #12
Lzen Lzen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InChiefsHell View Post
I thought it was funny.
5 years ago?
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Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.Lzen is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:02 AM   #13
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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Quote:
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15 years ago?
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Quote:
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High Tech is Sorcery and the people who are really powerful are literally telling people to commit crimes using the psychic interspace created by the WWW and Wireless. They are controlling peoples actions like drones . The two things are deeply intertwined. The more man's brain interfaces with machines the creepier it gets. They use brains separate from a human body in a supercomputer and you have The Image of the Beast. The military has been doing this since the 50s
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Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dave Lane is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-20-2014, 09:05 AM   #14
Phobia Phobia is offline
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I remember when Jesus Christ used to tell this to all his followers. It always got the crowd into the game.
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Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.Phobia is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-20-2014, 09:47 AM   #15
ChiefButthurt ChiefButthurt is offline
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ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.ChiefButthurt has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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