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Old 03-23-2014, 07:58 PM  
Big Smoke Big Smoke is offline
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Serious poop question

I'm usually a daily pooper, maybe once every other day. Lately I've been going 4 or 5 days at a time without a good poop. When I do finally have a movement, it's been much thinner than usual. I'm also having some pain in my lower right abdomen. Sorta have a full stomach like feeling, and more gas then usual.

My diet is shit. I drink tons of soda and eat a lot of junk food. Not overweight, but not in great shape either. Pretty much exactly at an average weight for my age and height.

Should I see a doctor? Or perhaps just make an attempt to drink more water, and eat healthier?

Last edited by Big Smoke; 03-23-2014 at 08:12 PM..
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:52 PM   #31
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:52 PM   #32
Big Smoke Big Smoke is offline
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Originally Posted by the_spatula View Post
Sounds like he's 20 years old (said 6 years left on parents insurance).

They won't be doing any colonoscopies. They'll tell him to adjust his diet and see how that works.
Music to my ears.
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:53 PM   #33
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Eat some vegetables you sloppy ****.

Since I went vegan, every shit I take is a glorious experience.

Big as the great outdoors and smells like a freshly made biscuit.

And just whips right through even though it's the size of a large ferret.

I use to name all my really monumental shits, and remember most as they were few and far between, names like Hank and Mortimer and Clarence stand out, but since going vegan, I've had to carry around this:

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Old 03-23-2014, 08:53 PM   #34
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Get a bottle of this immediately.

You'll clear out your entire colon within an hour, probably sooner.

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Old 03-23-2014, 08:54 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saccopoo View Post
Eat some vegetables you sloppy ****.

Since I went vegan, every shit I take is a glorious experience.

Big as the great outdoors and smells like a freshly made biscuit.

And just whips right through even though it's the size of a large ferret.

I use to name all my really monumental shits, and remember most as they were few and far between, names like Hank and Mortimer and Clarence stand out, but since going vegan, I've had to carry around this:

Sage advice from someone named Saccopoo.
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:59 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post
Yeah, tissue necrosis due to impacted bowel is something you want to avoid.

Do you take any type of pain medication?
That sounds scary. I've been taking hydrocodone for a couple weeks. Had surgery on my wrist about a month ago. Please don't freak me out.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:01 PM   #37
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:03 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
That sounds scary. I've been taking hydrocodone for a couple weeks. Had surgery on my wrist about a month ago. Please don't freak me out.
That is why you aren't shitting.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:05 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
That sounds scary. I've been taking hydrocodone for a couple weeks. Had surgery on my wrist about a month ago. Please don't freak me out.
He's totally serious.

Intestinal tissue rot from blockage can really **** somebody up bad. Like gut surgery and a subsequent colostomy bag for life type of ****ed up.

How'd you like to take a chick home and tell her to wait while you unhook your shit bag before you get sexytime with her?

Ain't pretty.

Stop eating fast food and drinking soda. Eat whole grains, veggies. Try to cut out most dairy products. Don't drink any "energy" drinks. And you should be drinking at least six to eight glasses of water a day.

I mean, ****.

Why are people so ****ing stupid that they can't even take care of themselves?

Give me my oxygen back.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:05 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
That sounds scary. I've been taking hydrocodone for a couple weeks. Had surgery on my wrist about a month ago. Please don't freak me out.
A few years ago I injured my lower back, and took hydrocodone for 2 weeks. When the doctor took an x-ray a few days after the injury, you could see the poop backed up in my system. He said it was because of the hydrocodone, and told me to get some Milk of Magnesia to clear out my bowels. It worked like a charm.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:09 PM   #41
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Walmart is open. Go get that Milk of Magnesia now.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:10 PM   #42
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Constipation killed Elvis. You don't want to die like Elvis, do you?
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:12 PM   #43
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:13 PM   #44
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:14 PM   #45
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Eat a salad of spinach, tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, kidney beans, purple cabbage, and some sunflower seeds, and shredded carrots. Use a balsamic vinegarette. Eat it once a day. You will shit like a goose twice a day
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