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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Numbah One Numbah One is online now
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:52 PM   #136
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:52 PM   #137
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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The time of reckoning is nigh.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:53 PM   #138
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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@ the Cakin Clayton Nutsack Curse
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:54 PM   #139
teedubya teedubya is offline
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You gonna put the photo of your shit on Fecesbook?
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:55 PM   #140
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is offline
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take pics and upload them as soon as you poop!!!
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Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.Saulbadguy threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:56 PM   #141
hometeam hometeam is online now
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TBH I have shit 5 times already since I have been at work. I had golden corral yesterday and in order to 'get my money worth' I ate waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Maybe that will act as inspiration. If I can do it, you can too.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:58 PM   #142
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:09 PM   #143
Numbah One Numbah One is online now
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false alarm
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Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:11 PM   #144
hometeam hometeam is online now
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false alarm
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:13 PM   #145
Superturtle Superturtle is offline
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Shoot some coffee up your asshole.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:20 PM   #146
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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This picture should get you ready.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:26 PM   #147
srvy srvy is online now
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I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:29 PM   #148
hometeam hometeam is online now
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I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
I'm betting its the plug type. A nice compact ball on one end, but once you break the seal all hell will break loose. Loose being the operative word.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:34 PM   #149
OnTheWarpath58 OnTheWarpath58 is offline
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Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?

I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.

Good luck. You're going to need it.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:37 PM   #150
JASONSAUTO JASONSAUTO is offline
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