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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Stop, Chiefs Stop, Chiefs is offline
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:52 PM   #136
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:52 PM   #137
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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The time of reckoning is nigh.
You feeling the downtown pushdown?
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:53 PM   #138
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:54 PM   #139
teedubya teedubya is offline
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You gonna put the photo of your shit on Fecesbook?
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:55 PM   #140
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is offline
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take pics and upload them as soon as you poop!!!
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:56 PM   #141
hometeam hometeam is online now
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TBH I have shit 5 times already since I have been at work. I had golden corral yesterday and in order to 'get my money worth' I ate waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Maybe that will act as inspiration. If I can do it, you can too.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:58 PM   #142
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:09 PM   #143
Stop, Chiefs Stop, Chiefs is offline
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false alarm
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:11 PM   #144
hometeam hometeam is online now
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false alarm
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:13 PM   #145
Superturtle Superturtle is offline
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:20 PM   #146
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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This picture should get you ready.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:26 PM   #147
srvy srvy is offline
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I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:29 PM   #148
hometeam hometeam is online now
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I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
I'm betting its the plug type. A nice compact ball on one end, but once you break the seal all hell will break loose. Loose being the operative word.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:34 PM   #149
OnTheWarpath58 OnTheWarpath58 is offline
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Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?

I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.

Good luck. You're going to need it.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:37 PM   #150
JASONSAUTO JASONSAUTO is online now
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