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Old 05-19-2014, 12:46 PM  
Numbah One Numbah One is offline
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-21-2014, 07:48 PM   #346
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Why not.
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Old 05-21-2014, 07:50 PM   #347
teedubya teedubya is offline
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I took a Guinness book of World Records sized-shit today. And I was finished in less than 45 seconds. Smooooooth.
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Old 05-21-2014, 10:14 PM   #348
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
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Old 05-21-2014, 10:22 PM   #349
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf View Post
I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
The victim of a shit and run
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All us Mizzou fans knows how this ends
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holy **** that was a bullshit call
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Apples are no Oranges - let's face it.
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Old 05-22-2014, 02:19 PM   #350
Numbah One Numbah One is offline
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Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.

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Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.Numbah One is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-22-2014, 02:21 PM   #351
Sweet Daddy Williams Sweet Daddy Williams is offline
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lol
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Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.Sweet Daddy Williams is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 05-22-2014, 02:51 PM   #352
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.

I hope you wiped with one of Stephen J. Cannell's scripts.
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