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Old 05-19-2014, 12:46 PM  
Count Alex's Wins Count Alex's Wins is online now
ALEX. HOW CAN THIS BE.
 
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:36 PM   #91
BryanBusby BryanBusby is offline
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A co-worker told me once that he usually downs a bottle before he goes to visit the in laws.

"They often comment about how much time I spend in the bathroom"
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:37 PM   #92
booger booger is offline
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Mr miagee as egg is great in that movie
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:38 PM   #93
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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Drank it all.

Now relaxing to John Carpenter's "Big Trouble In Little China" soundtrack.
Did it have a great lemony flavor?
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:38 PM   #94
Dayze Dayze is online now
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I think i have a perpetual traffic jam on my H. Highway. I might need to do a Ctl+Alt+Delete
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:39 PM   #95
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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At least it was dye free
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:39 PM   #96
Count Alex's Wins Count Alex's Wins is online now
ALEX. HOW CAN THIS BE.
 
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My center of gravity is dropping.
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Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.Count Alex's Wins is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:41 PM   #97
booger booger is offline
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Quick pull your finger!
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:42 PM   #98
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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You should put a liner in a garbage can and weigh it
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:53 PM   #99
Count Alex's Wins Count Alex's Wins is online now
ALEX. HOW CAN THIS BE.
 
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Had a false alarm. FARTS!
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:56 PM   #100
BryanBusby BryanBusby is offline
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Get another bottle and butt chug it.
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Old 05-19-2014, 03:57 PM   #101
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Get another bottle and butt chug it.


That's just evil.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:00 PM   #102
booger booger is offline
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Twins... Gonna need c section dude. Can you feel it's heartbeat yet?
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:01 PM   #103
Dayze Dayze is online now
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You should put a liner in a garbage can and weigh it
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:03 PM   #104
LiveSteam LiveSteam is offline
All aboard the crazy train
 
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have you come up with a name for it yet?
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Old 05-19-2014, 04:04 PM   #105
Dayze Dayze is online now
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Cassel coming out of your Pioli
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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