My Junk Was On Fire!!!
 

I just got done making some Indian cuisine that called for a couple of serrano peppers. I chop them up throw them in and wash my hands. Something like 20 minutes later I have to take a piss. I piss, wash my hands and proceed to go back to finishing up the cooking.

About three minutes after pissing I notice this warm sensation in my pants and I say to my wife, hey must of had a little pepper still left on my hands. Another three or four minutes go by and I am starting to hurt a little down in the nether region.

I decide I am going to go get a wet wash cloth to help cool it down. I go to the bathroom and get a wash cloth, wet it and try applying. No such luck, it just isn't helping.

By this time my dick was pretty well on fire and only getting worse. Hey look on the counter, I have aloe I was using for my sunburn. It feels kinda like a sunburn so what the hell I will give it a try.

At this point I am yelling at my wife to start googling what neutralizes the burning from peppers. She walks in the bathroom and here I am, penis in hand, standing in front of the fan(with aloe covering it) trying to cool it down. Not only is none of this working I think I have spread the burning by using my hands to spread the aloe. She is laughing her ass off at this point, I was not so amused.

Her google search turned up that yogurt can help. So she brings me a cup of yogurt and I start rubbing it on. Once again I think I was just helping to spread the burn which at this point has me about doubling over in pain.

Time for a cold ass shower. I strip down and go running for the shower. A nice cold stream of water seemed to soothe the burning. My wife is still googling to find other options and finds that baking soda can help so here she comes with a box of baking soda.

The baking soda seems to have some dulling effect to the burn. I continue to put more on it and finally there is some relief to my pain.

So here I sit typing this with baking soda all over my junk, my wife laughing at me, and I need to piss again but am afraid to at this point. On one positive note the Indian turned out delicious.

And I know, I should have rubbed anti freeze on it.

This is one of those stories I would not tell about on the internet or to anybody for that matter.

But hey thanks for sharing.


Sorry for your luck.

when she was laughing at you


you should have gave her the caulk

http://www.bostik-us.com/sites/defau...neCaulk300.jpg

Have your wife hold it while you piss.

Hey rub some Bengay on it . .

I did ask her to blow on it to cool it off.

Aveeno oatmeal bath.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...L._SL1500_.jpg

If I would of had some I might of tried it. I was limited by what I had.

I buy fresh each spring before working in the yard.

What a weird way to celebrate making the varsity FB team.

RIP....sorry about your junk
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I grow (and eat) ghost peppers and trinidad scorpions which are much more spicy then serranos. I havent gotten any on my junk, but I have gotten some in my eye.

Interesting fact: after the initial burning and pain, you probably noticed that the area on your body that was contaminated with capsaicin oil from the chilis became numb. The reason behind that is that capsaicin activates pain "c" fibers which than get overwhelmed, and than "desensitized." (kinda) That same basic principle is used to treat a bunch of medical conditions such as neuropathies.

For this reason it is believed that people who can regularly consume spicy food have a better pain tolerance.

Ball powder.

http://c4.soap.com/images/products/p/ch/ch-019_1z.jpg

Soak it in cider.

Milk.

my ex got 3rd degree burns doing serranos
evil peppers

Oh, this says yogurt helps, I'll grab some!

Hey, this site says peanut butter, I've got it!

Oh, and chocolate syrup!

Sprinkles? Weird, but I think we have some....

This is a perfect opportunity to ask your wife to suck the poison out.

She might say no but it's worth a try.f

Future hall of fame thread. Reminds me of the guy that shaved his ass.

Sounds like a perfect opportunity to ask her to blow...... to cool it off... you know?

Who needs a reason to ask their so to blow?


I ask out of the blue everyone in a while ( hell probably closer to every day) just to see if she goes for it...
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This thread reminds me of the old joke about the guy who mixed up his Propa pH and his Preparation H.

Now he has no pimples on his ass, but his face has shrunk.

Do it now, pussy you won't!

Lmao. I already asked twice tonight. Kids went to bed early.


I think third times a charm...
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Mine as well! Tell that bish what's good.

I'd think a doctor would know the difference between then and than.

She should of used a condom.

They get away with that $3it because most can't read what they write anyway...

Although she laughed at least she was trying to help. I would have had her go to an ice cream stand and bring home a huge( I would need huge after all I am a CP member) soft ice cream. Dip it in and say "Dessert honey?"

Give Lorena Bobbitt a call. :)

ROFL

This is why whenever I work with peppers I wear gloves. Once I was just chopping up some jalepenos and after washing my hands, inadvertently rubbed my eyes. Holy shit, that sucked. It then occurred to me...what if I had to piss?

Been wearing gloves to chop hot peppers ever since.

I've heard it helps if you dip it in antifreeze

Yep.

I've known many people to eat wings at the bar and come back from the restroom crying. ROFL

Yes, lesson learned, the hard way.

While she was laughing at you, you should have fingered a couple of her holes.

I thought Serranos weren't as hot as jalepenos?


I've done the same thing, however, though with Jalepenos. su*******ed.

The hottest jalepeno (2000-5000 Scoville) is equivalent to the mildest serrano (5000-1500 Scoville).

hmmm. didn't know that. Not sure whey I thought it was the other way around.

The chile pepper rule of thumb: The smaller it is, the hotter it is.

One camping trip I went on, there was a guy who rubbed habenero all over his balls on accident the same way you did. It was hilarious watching him run from campsite to campsite and back. He was eventually able to soothe it a bit by rubbing butter on, so now we call him butternut, or squash if we are in polite company.

Story from a few years ago....

I have a chili cookoff at work every year. This particular time, I forgot to make my chili until around 11:30pm the night before the event. I'd been drinking heavily that night, so I busted through making a very spicy chicken chili much faster than I normally would. I used part of a habanero, like I normally do with my chicken chili, to give it a good kick. Got the chili made, set the crockpot, and went to bed.

At around 3am, I woke up feeling like someone was cutting my junk off with a red hot butter knife. I had evidently been shifting gears in my sleep. It kept me up awake and teary-eyed in constant pain for over 3 hrs. I wanted to die.

"Shifted gears"
LMAO

I learned years ago to wash my hands before I take a piss, it pays off IMO.


I have felt your pain. Once on an overnight stay in Junction City on business, I had a fresh cup of coffee in my hand after my shower and bumped my coffee holding elbow on the door jamb.

OMFG, instant pain in the junk area!

Since it was just an overnight stay, I didn't have a lot of clothes options so I went and bought all the crap I could find at a convenience store for burns not wearing any skivvies under my slacks. It was a brutal few days after that.

I thought that the ghost chili pepper was the hottest thing....then read that the Trinidad moruga scorpion was....then read it was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper

I grew some Carribean Red habaneros once. They're about twice as hot as a regular habanero and JFC they were hot.

rubber gloves are always a great idea when handling hot peppers :thumb:

I think I've posted this story multiple times, but anyway:

One of my best buddies in college worked for a lady called "the Pickle Lady" because she sold jarred pickled things at various craft shows and such. He spent an entire day chopping jalapenos for pickling once then went home and got frisky with his lady friend immediately afterward.

She was not happy. At all.

Amazingly, he and his lady friend are still together 15 years later.

The worst I've had personally was putting gasoline in our boat from a container, getting it all over my hands, then taking a piss and getting gasoline all over my dick.

Extremely uncomfortable.

Take that back. My asshole brother shoved his hand down my pants one time when I was watching TV on the couch. I thought he'd gone insane or gay or something until he started smirking/laughing and I started burning.

Icy Hot to the nuts.

"brother". Likely story.

It's Arkansas, so it's legit.

I'll be in your neck of the woods in Sept for the Bikers Blues and BBQ thing. we should meet up and have a beer. just don't bring your brother.

I will hopefully be out of town for BBBQ (our city is unbearable for locals during that festival). If I'm here, though, I'm down!

I bet. i've never been, but I hear it's insane. my brother and I are going down, but will be staying with my dad in Bella Vista

Yeah. It's craziness. It's actually a lot of fun if you're into bikes and even if you're not into bikes. I've enjoyed it quite a bit over the years. I've just been experiencing it for like 10 years now.

Now my wife has a retail store downtown that gets absolutely zero business on that weekend because our regular customers can't get to the store and the bikers aren't interested in it... so we're planning on closing the store and taking advantage of the weekend to travel out of town somewhere.

:thumb:
that sounds like a plan. I don't think i could stay down there during it. we'll just ride down/up to Bella Vista each day and ride the roads down there.