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-   -   Life My Junk Was On Fire!!! (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=283668)

BigRichard 05-13-2014 07:11 PM

My Junk Was On Fire!!!
 
I just got done making some Indian cuisine that called for a couple of serrano peppers. I chop them up throw them in and wash my hands. Something like 20 minutes later I have to take a piss. I piss, wash my hands and proceed to go back to finishing up the cooking.

About three minutes after pissing I notice this warm sensation in my pants and I say to my wife, hey must of had a little pepper still left on my hands. Another three or four minutes go by and I am starting to hurt a little down in the nether region.

I decide I am going to go get a wet wash cloth to help cool it down. I go to the bathroom and get a wash cloth, wet it and try applying. No such luck, it just isn't helping.

By this time my dick was pretty well on fire and only getting worse. Hey look on the counter, I have aloe I was using for my sunburn. It feels kinda like a sunburn so what the hell I will give it a try.

At this point I am yelling at my wife to start googling what neutralizes the burning from peppers. She walks in the bathroom and here I am, penis in hand, standing in front of the fan(with aloe covering it) trying to cool it down. Not only is none of this working I think I have spread the burning by using my hands to spread the aloe. She is laughing her ass off at this point, I was not so amused.

Her google search turned up that yogurt can help. So she brings me a cup of yogurt and I start rubbing it on. Once again I think I was just helping to spread the burn which at this point has me about doubling over in pain.

Time for a cold ass shower. I strip down and go running for the shower. A nice cold stream of water seemed to soothe the burning. My wife is still googling to find other options and finds that baking soda can help so here she comes with a box of baking soda.

The baking soda seems to have some dulling effect to the burn. I continue to put more on it and finally there is some relief to my pain.

So here I sit typing this with baking soda all over my junk, my wife laughing at me, and I need to piss again but am afraid to at this point. On one positive note the Indian turned out delicious.

And I know, I should have rubbed anti freeze on it.

Strongside 05-13-2014 07:13 PM

http://a.gifb.in/062012/1341421697_g...with_grill.gif

Rasputin 05-13-2014 07:14 PM

This is one of those stories I would not tell about on the internet or to anybody for that matter.

But hey thanks for sharing.


Sorry for your luck.

TribalElder 05-13-2014 07:15 PM

when she was laughing at you


you should have gave her the caulk

http://www.bostik-us.com/sites/defau...neCaulk300.jpg

TimBone 05-13-2014 07:15 PM

Have your wife hold it while you piss.

Rasputin 05-13-2014 07:15 PM

Hey rub some Bengay on it . .

BigRichard 05-13-2014 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10628358)
Have your wife hold it while you piss.

I did ask her to blow on it to cool it off.

Baby Lee 05-13-2014 07:21 PM

Aveeno oatmeal bath.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...L._SL1500_.jpg

BigRichard 05-13-2014 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 10628371)

If I would of had some I might of tried it. I was limited by what I had.

Baby Lee 05-13-2014 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRichard (Post 10628376)
If I would of had some I might of tried it. I was limited by what I had.

I buy fresh each spring before working in the yard.

Rasputin 05-13-2014 07:27 PM

http://i1350.photobucket.com/albums/...ps9e30009c.gif

Baby Lee 05-13-2014 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo (Post 10628385)

What a weird way to celebrate making the varsity FB team.

Deberg_1990 05-13-2014 07:34 PM

RIP....sorry about your junk
Posted via Mobile Device

planetdoc 05-13-2014 07:37 PM

I grow (and eat) ghost peppers and trinidad scorpions which are much more spicy then serranos. I havent gotten any on my junk, but I have gotten some in my eye.

Interesting fact: after the initial burning and pain, you probably noticed that the area on your body that was contaminated with capsaicin oil from the chilis became numb. The reason behind that is that capsaicin activates pain "c" fibers which than get overwhelmed, and than "desensitized." (kinda) That same basic principle is used to treat a bunch of medical conditions such as neuropathies.

For this reason it is believed that people who can regularly consume spicy food have a better pain tolerance.

Munson 05-13-2014 07:45 PM

Ball powder.

http://c4.soap.com/images/products/p/ch/ch-019_1z.jpg


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