Rain Man |
12-22-2015 12:22 AM |
My own personal horror story.
I came home tonight, and was alone in the house since my wife was out. I reheated some pizza, pulled a chair up to the breakfast bar, and went in search of Monday Night Football.
Then I got distracted. When I turned on the TV, there was some weird scene in a movie where a guy was setting up a system of strings in his yard and I couldn't figure out what was happening. He appeared to be having some trouble with the law, and there was an attractive neighbor next door, and it looked like it could be kind of a quirky dark comedy. I like quirky dark comedies.
So I watched it. I ate my pizza and watched, and the guy is spying on his attractive neighbor and having trouble with the neighbor kids, and at some point decides that his weird creepy neighbor may be behind the disappearance of a woman.
At that point, the comedy part of 'dark comedy' went away and it started getting creepy. It cycled down and down and eventually the guy is trying to find his kidnapped mother in a dark basement full of corpses. You know the drill - flashlight, darkness, turn a corner and there's suddenly a rotting corpse staring you in the face with a big blare of music.
I don't like that type of movie, not at all, but I was already invested by that point and it was clear that the movie was about to end, and the neighbor really was pretty cute. So I'm watching and the creepy murderer is lying in wait upstairs, the guy is downstairs ... the rotting corpses are everywhere ...
And then I glance toward the kitchen door, which is about four feet away and looking out into darkness. My wife had come home and walked through the back yard, and had just silently put her face against the glass to peer in at me.
Holy mother of god.
You hear stories about people having heart attacks when they're surprised, but I never really thought they were true. I now think they may be true. I adrenaline spiked so hard that I think some came out of my ears. It was actually painful and my chest is still tight.
I never want to have that happen again.
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