cdcox
09-29-2004, 01:08 PM
Kao Brands Company, maker or Ban deodorant, announced today plans to launch a new advertising campaign aimed at Salvation Army Bell Ringers. The company's in house research group identifed the perennial holiday clangers as having above average body odor. However, the company was quick to point out that the increased body odor was not in any way related to the lifestyle choices of the typical bell ringer. Corporate PR specialist Titus Htismaque said "We don't believe that inherently as a group the typical homeless wino that the Salvation Army hires stink worse than anybody else." This finding was backed up by corporate researcher Gaz E. Gaz. "Through intensive investigation, we found that prolonged arm swinging action of the bell ringers generated enough friction to warm the underarm region, thereby singnalling the sweat glands to be more productive."
The Salvation Army General in charge of Bell Ringing Operations, Carl Perterson defended his bell ringers. "Our organization has a fantastic history of bell ringing during the holidays that speaks for its self."
Recently, Target Corporation has announced that the Salvation Army bell ringers are no longer welcome at their stores. Corporate President Ali Lazarus indicated that the personal hygene of the ringers had no bearing on the decision. "I don't care if the bell ringers stink or not. I just hate Carl Peterson."
The Salvation Army General in charge of Bell Ringing Operations, Carl Perterson defended his bell ringers. "Our organization has a fantastic history of bell ringing during the holidays that speaks for its self."
Recently, Target Corporation has announced that the Salvation Army bell ringers are no longer welcome at their stores. Corporate President Ali Lazarus indicated that the personal hygene of the ringers had no bearing on the decision. "I don't care if the bell ringers stink or not. I just hate Carl Peterson."