Einstein Quotes he would have said if he had lived longer

[BigRedChief]

Got the idea from this Demonpenz post:
"Well it doesn't take me to tell you moving a college saftey to a pro corner won't work"
-Einstien

Weekend fun thread. So have at it.

The winner will be judged by a blue ribbon panel of nerd and geeks. Prize will be determined on quality and quanity of entries.

[Michael Michigan]

"Dammitt Carl."

:cuss:

[Ultra Peanut]

"Holy crap, I'm old!" - Albert Einstein, 2004

[BigRedChief]

Standing pat in the off season is not neccessarily improving a team.
-Einstein

[Slayer Diablo]

"Damnit, the only person as old as me now is Dick Clark"
--Einstein

[FloridaChief]

Will one of you ass-gaskets buy me a Rascal, goddamnit?

[Ultra Peanut]

"White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X." - Albert Einstein

"It was Mooney!" - Dave Chappelle

[BigRedChief]

I think the term "ass gasket" single handedly saved this thread.

You're not busy...Get in here and make a contibution...

[BigRedChief]

How about a quote about Einstein?

Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. Joe Theismann (http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Joe_Theismann/), Former quarterback

[Rain Man]

"Give the ball to Priest." - Albert Einstein

[Rain Man]

"If a defensive tackle has sufficient mass, his gravity will slow the passage of time in his immediate vicinity, thereby allowing more time for linebackers to read the play and arrive to make the tackle." - Albert Einstein

[Rain Man]

"If a cornerback is fast enough, he will weigh 300 pounds and therefore be a force against the run, too." - Albert Einstein

[Phobia]

"This was a dumb thread until the arrival of Rain Man and it will again be a dumb thread upon his departure."

Albert Einstein

[Hydrae]

There's kids playing at the pool outside. At first, their laughter and screams were annoying to me. But, now it sounds as if they're using weapons to beat the holy hell out of each other. With luck, they're good at it... and the problem will solve itself.


Wow, Al sure has gotten grumpy in his old age.

[BigRedChief]

There's kids playing at the pool outside. At first, their laughter and screams were annoying to me. But, now it sounds as if they're using weapons to beat the holy hell out of each other. With luck, they're good at it... and the problem will solve itself.

Dang, ENDelt260 steps up to the plate and further salvages the thread.:thumb:

[Rain Man]

"If an away game is far enough away and the team charter is fast enough, all of the fans will be dead before the team comes back for its next home game." - Albert Einstein

[BigRedChief]

If assure you that my problems in understanding King Carls draft picks are greater than any you may have...
- Einstein

[cheeeefs]

"I'm now at the age where if someone tells me "the Chiefs are going to the superbowl this season... really!" I can kick them in the nuts to fulfill the needs of their obvious self hatred." Albert Einstein 2004

[cheeeefs]

"it is difficult to say what truth is: but it is often easy to realize when my colostomy bag is full." Albert Einstein 2004

[FloridaChief]

"Bounce my liver! That's right--bounce my f*cking liver!!!!"

[BigRedChief]

Total absence of a defense renders the playoffs impossible.
-Einstein

[Rain Man]

"In the strongest reaches of a black hole, physics begins to do unusual things. Light bends, information stops, the Spinner defense shuts out opponents, and all other manner of strange phenomena occur." - Albert Einstein

[4th and Long]

Then: "Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love"
Now: "Gravitation can not be held responsible for our lack of a shutdown corner."

Then: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Now:"Two things are infinite: the universe and LJ's stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Then: "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Now: "If the defense doesn't fit the theory, change the defense."

Then: "In the past it never occurred to me that every casual remark of mine would be snatched up and recorded. Otherwise I would have crept further into my shell."
Now: "In the past it never occurred to me that every casual remark of mine would be snatched up and recorded. Otherwise I would have never taken over the Monday Night Football spot for Dennis Miller. By the way, if that bonehead ESPN commentator Theisman mistaken calls me "Norman" again, as God is my witness, I'll find a way to spontaneously split his atoms and have them sent to the nearest black hole."

[Calcountry]

Quantum physics allows us to go back in time to 1969 and watch a season of football.
--Einstein

[Jenson71]

"Holy Crap! UMR won a football game!"

[gblowfish]

"Eminem equals MC Hammer Squared." -Biggie Al E. 2004-

[Jenson71]

I don't get it. Actually, it's brilliant. I'm telling that to everyone I know now.

[Bowser]

"Bitch, where you at?" - Albert Einstein, inquiring the location of his gangsta girlfriend while talking on his Nextel, 2004.

[JohnnyV13]

When your team is losing football games at speeds approaching the speed of light, time slows down for you relative to people whose teams lose games at a more normal rate.

When he returns to earth, the fan of a perennial loser wil discover he is still in h.s. waiting for his life to begin, whilst all of his peers have long moved on and have jobs, family a mortgage, and a life.

[Rausch]

"Black holes, much like the Free Agents Oakland signs, are incredibly dense, and visable only by the negative impact they have on surrounding bodies in their direct vicinity..."

Albert E, 2002...

[KCWolfman]

The amount of energy created by a single running back at is 7,472,736,000,000 and we don't go for it on 4th and 1?