View Full Version : My Father and I....part 2...The Gravel Road( sorry a long read)

11-07-2004, 11:52 PM
For those who remember my post last year about my relationship with my Father and how we have come to grow closer, I would like to add this sequel....

I know with the loss today by the Chiefs, not many of us are in the mood for a NFT, but i feel compelled to write this, if nothing else, just as a release for me.....

First let me say this....for all my Planet friends who have lost loved ones this year, or are struggling with the ill health of close family members...while I may not post it on here, everytime you ask for thoughts and prayers, I lift you up......I know that I too will struggle with what you are now, and i hope that you will remember me too when I pass the bridge you walk now.

I came to KC this weekend to attend a banquet and Auction for the agency where I adopted my oldest son. I was also there to spend today with my Father at his house watching my beloved Chiefs, hoping for a victory. But, today was less about football, and more about life for us...I got there a little early because he said he wanted to chat about a few things ahead of time....it's about a 15 minute drive from Liberty where we stay with her Mom to Mosby where my dad lives in what was my Grandma and Grandpa's house when we were growing up. Most of the drive in on Hiway 69, but the last 1 1/2 miles is on a gravel road...a road that always reminds me of the times I was young and rode my bike on that same road to see my grandparents...I've traveled that road a millions times, but for some reason today it seemed so different.

My dad was standing outside on the back porch when I pulled into the driveway...each time i see him, it seems life has taken a little more away from him....but he still smiles and for just a moment I see the light in his eyes that I remember as a child.

But today our discussions were more serious...you see in just a year we have gone from distant strangers to close friends...and the relationship I have always coveted. We don't necessarily spend more time together, it's just that the time we do spend has much more meaning than before.

My father confided in me today of things that he entrusted for me to take care of...things that he wished he would do but didn't...things that he hoped I would do, that he couldn't. We started walking down the gravel road...and he reminisced helping build the road many , many years ago....I couldn't help but think how that gravel road resembled the relationship between he and I...filled with rocks, potholes, and other bumps, but it still lead to the main road....one that was smoother as you get to the end of a journey.

As we walked back he asked me to do some things that I knew would be hard for me later, but I promised I would. Tears in my eyes, I stopped and hugged him, told him that I was sorry for all the years I wasted being angry at him. He said there was nothing to be sorry for....but in my heart there was.....

We walked the rest of the way in silence...each to his own thoughts. When we got in the house our attention turned to the Chiefs...we sat and screamed at the TV....Gunther....the O-line...the DEFENSE!!!!...LJ....until we knew all was lost and it was time to leave...

As we walked out to my car he reminded me to call when we got back to Columbia...to take care and give the wife and kids his love. As I backed out my mind kept thinking about the events of the day, and what he must be thinking. As I started down the gravel road I couldn't help but think of the old Sawyer Brown song "The Walk"....and how sad i was thinking that someday the drive down that gravel road would be my last one.....


11-08-2004, 12:09 AM
Make the most of your time with him. I'll never forget the last deer season with my grandfather. For years he worked to get me shots, to see me bag the deer. That year, his cancer was in remission but I knew it would be our last deer season together. I was fortunate that I lived just down the road about 40 miles away for that last year. Figuring it would be our last hunt and I made the most of it and made that drive every morning and afternoon to take him out. I was happier with that little fawn he shot than I have been on any deer I've ever bagged. I wouldn't trade that week for anything. Tried to get dad to join us for an afternoon or two but he never did. Looking back, he wishes he had.

Mmaddog, make that trip as often as you can while you can and enjoy the time together.

Hammock Parties
11-08-2004, 12:27 AM
Touching. How old is your dad, mmaddog?

11-08-2004, 12:29 PM

I'm calling my dad right now.

11-08-2004, 12:33 PM
MmarkDogg - You may not realize it, but you are damned lucky. I lost my pop when I was 14. I got in a lot of trouble after that (A WHOLE LOT) and really screwed up my life, my familial relationships, and my own inner peace. It took years for me to realize my life issues were my own blame and build up destroyed trust with my brothers, sister, and mother. I still miss the mean old man even though he has been dead twice as long as he was my father. Take what you got and enjoy every single moment.

11-08-2004, 01:21 PM
Mark, enjoy while you can, I lost my Dad when I was 19. But we were close, your story kinda resembles my wife's story and her Dad.

When my wife was a little girl, she was upstairs with her baby sister( Kathy ). Her dad was a drunk and while her mother was gone to go get him at the tavern, the girls were playing with matches and a candle. Some how the candle fell off of the small table into Kathys lap.

The dress she had on went up in flames, she suffered 3rd degree burns to her right side of the body. The oldest brother was home and was able to get the fire out, but the damage was done. The father held a drunken grudge against my wife for many of years. Many times he was down right cruel to her from the stories I have heard.

It wasn't until we moved from KS to KY that the relationship start to mend. She still had many of bad times and heated discussions with him for the 1st 5 years back here.

Fianlly the fence got mended before he passed away, he told he was sorry for blaming her all those years and the cruel words and punishments she went thru.

It was rough for her, but it ended well......... Good Luck !

11-08-2004, 01:40 PM