What if maddox Wrong an article about the chiefs

[Demonpenz]

I can see our team being so laughable he just takes pictures of chiefs and talks shit on them all. I know what the caption would be next to larry johnson...VROOM!

[Hammock Parties]

kcnut is that you?

[Demonpenz]

Breaking News! Larry Johnson just picked up yard five!

[tk13]

You asked for it...

-------------

Ever have one of those bowel movements where you feel like you're ready to pass the 10 pounds of bacon grease you had for dinner but it never comes out, leaving you bent over screaming like you got kicked in Aunt Betty's nut butter? Well there's a bunch of overpaid hacks that call themselves the Kansas City Chiefs that will make you do the same thing, without having to use the john. The UnderaChiefers went into this season with everybody slobbing over their tiny phalluses because they were supposedly going to the Super Bowl. Halfway through this abortion of a season, this team has as many wins as the Bears, Bengals, and Cardinals, or as Dubya calls it, the Axis of Suckass Football teams. Let's take a look at why this team has less chance of making the playoffs than Jessica Simpson does of become a nuclear physicist.


1. A Brain
http://brakpage.com/images/scarecrow_oz.gif

They don't have one, especially on defense. This is proven by the fact that Chiefs opponents have run a bootleg misdirection play approximately 27 MILLION times so far this season, and the Chiefs have yet to stop it. Teams are now bringing neon signs out onto the field stating in bold letters:

WE ARE ABOUT TO RUN A BOOTLEG PLAY

and these brainless hacks still bite on the playaction fake like a dog who always turns and runs the other way when you fake throwing a ball over it's head. If they only had a brain.


2. No defensive leadership
http://www.offwell.free-online.co.uk/heath_puzzle/puzzle/mouth.jpg

This is Eric Hicks. This is the only part of Mr. Hicks game that you are guaranteed to see every weekend. He is the alleged "leader" of the "defense" for the UnderaChiefers. His job is to tell the media every weekend that the defense is getting better and will eventually get the job done. Considering that Mr. Hicks has been doing this for over 3 years now, Wolf Blitzer can now project that this defense will finally round into shape sometime in the year 2146, just in time to watch Al Davis go crazy and nuke the entire city of Oakland, killing 3 different Raider fans.


3. Hands
http://angel.fcpages.com/shows/addamsfamily-thing.jpg

A fitting picture, because sometimes these UnderaChiefer hacks could be playing with two bloody severed arms half the time and nobody would be able to tell the difference. They routinely drop easy passes and are among the league leaders in drops, especially at crucial times. It is also an unwritten rule in the Chiefs playbook that if you have a breakaway and a chance to score a touchdown, you must allow yourself to be caught from behind while you are stripped of the ball, causing half a million Chiefs fans across the country to throw a large object through their televisions, or kill a small animal. 30,000 cats died Sunday when Eddie "I would be totally f*cked if I were in one of those action movies where my life depended on me HOLDING ON TO THE F*CKING RAILING ALONG THE EDGE OF A 30-STORY BUILDING" Kennison fumbled the football when he was mere feet from scoring.


4. Larry Johnson
http://www.bms.iwarp.com/images/snail.jpg

This is Larry Johnson. He has the speed of a drunk one-legged midget in an Oktoberfest potato-sack race. The Chiefs spent a first-round pick on him, which means he is supposed to be good. He isn't. So far his skills lend themselves to stirring as much sh!t as possible and complaining at a rate that would make someone that was PMS'ing look like Ghandi at a peacekeepers convention.


5. The King
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/attachment.php?attachmentid=33756&stc=1

Hello, Carl Peterson. This guy runs the team, drafts people, makes personnel moves. Too bad he sucks at it. He took this job when Ronald Reagan was still President. A decade and a half later, he's still drafting guys like Larry Johnson because he's apparently got a deal with Rogaine on the side and he wants Chiefs fans all over the world to pull their hair out. During his tenure every other team in his division has been to a Super Bowl, but not Carl. This year he angered fans by not using up all of the team's cap space yet raising ticket prices. The fans are angry, but any smart Chiefs fan knows he's holding out for a first round draft pick that has the speed of a sloth on crank that couldn't catch a cold and will never learn how to read a bootleg. Then he will truly live up to his moniker, "King Carl". And the UnderaChiefers will be well on their way to another disasterous season.

----------------------------------


*The above is my interpretation of a possible Maddox article on the Chiefs and does not necessarily reflect the actual thoughts of anybody that actually exists. If you don't know who Maddox is or what kind of humorous website he runs you might not understand or find any of the above funny... so don't respond or PM me with angry hate mail.

[Ebolapox]

that's rep, tk

-EB-

[BigMeatballDave]

You asked for it...

-------------

Ever have one of those bowel movements where you feel like you're ready to pass the 10 pounds of bacon grease you had for dinner but it never comes out, leaving you bent over screaming like you got kicked in Aunt Betty's nut butter? Well there's a bunch of overpaid hacks that call themselves the Kansas City Chiefs that will make you do the same thing, without having to use the john. The UnderaChiefers went into this season with everybody slobbing over their tiny phalluses because they were supposedly going to the Super Bowl. Halfway through this abortion of a season, this team has as many wins as the Bears, Bengals, and Cardinals, or as Dubya calls it, the Axis of Suckass Football teams. Let's take a look at why this team has less chance of making the playoffs than Jessica Simpson does of become a nuclear physicist.


1. A Brain
http://brakpage.com/images/scarecrow_oz.gif

They don't have one, especially on defense. This is proven by the fact that Chiefs opponents have run a bootleg misdirection play approximately 27 MILLION times so far this season, and the Chiefs have yet to stop it. Teams are now bringing neon signs out onto the field stating in bold letters:

WE ARE ABOUT TO RUN A BOOTLEG PLAY

and these brainless hacks still bite on the playaction fake like a dog who always turns and runs the other way when you fake throwing a ball over it's head. If they only had a brain.


2. No defensive leadership
http://www.offwell.free-online.co.uk/heath_puzzle/puzzle/mouth.jpg

This is Eric Hicks. This is the only part of Mr. Hicks game that you are guaranteed to see every weekend. He is the alleged "leader" of the "defense" for the UnderaChiefers. His job is to tell the media every weekend that the defense is getting better and will eventually get the job done. Considering that Mr. Hicks has been doing this for over 3 years now, Wolf Blitzer can now project that this defense will finally round into shape sometime in the year 2146, just in time to watch Al Davis go crazy and nuke the entire city of Oakland, killing 3 different Raider fans.


3. Hands
http://angel.fcpages.com/shows/addamsfamily-thing.jpg

A fitting picture, because sometimes these UnderaChiefer hacks could be playing with two bloody severed arms half the time and nobody would be able to tell the difference. They routinely drop easy passes and are among the league leaders in drops, especially at crucial times. It is also an unwritten rule in the Chiefs playbook that if you have a breakaway and a chance to score a touchdown, you must allow yourself to be caught from behind while you are stripped of the ball, causing half a million Chiefs fans across the country to throw a large object through their televisions, or kill a small animal. 30,000 cats died Sunday when Eddie "I would be totally f*cked if I were in one of those action movies where my life depended on me HOLDING ON TO THE F*CKING RAILING ALONG THE EDGE OF A 30-STORY BUILDING" Kennison fumbled the football when he was mere feet from scoring.


4. Larry Johnson
http://www.bms.iwarp.com/images/snail.jpg

This is Larry Johnson. He has the speed of a drunk one-legged midget in an Oktoberfest potato-sack race. The Chiefs spent a first-round pick on him, which means he is supposed to be good. He isn't. So far his skills lend themselves to stirring as much sh!t as possible and complaining at a rate that would make someone that was PMS'ing look like Ghandi at a peacekeepers convention.


5. The King
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/attachment.php?attachmentid=33756&stc=1

Hello, Carl Peterson. This guy runs the team, drafts people, makes personnel moves. Too bad he sucks at it. He took this job when Ronald Reagan was still President. A decade and a half later, he's still drafting guys like Larry Johnson because he's apparently got a deal with Rogaine on the side and he wants Chiefs fans all over the world to pull their hair out. During his tenure every other team in his division has been to a Super Bowl, but not Carl. This year he angered fans by not using up all of the team's cap space yet raising ticket prices. The fans are angry, but any smart Chiefs fan knows he's holding out for a first round draft pick that has the speed of a sloth on crank that couldn't catch a cold and will never learn how to read a bootleg. Then he will truly live up to his moniker, "King Carl". And the UnderaChiefers will be well on their way to another disasterous season.

----------------------------------


*The above is my interpretation of a possible Maddox article on the Chiefs and does not necessarily reflect the actual thoughts of anybody that actually exists. If you don't know who Maddox is or what kind of humorous website he runs you might not understand or find any of the above funny... so don't respond or PM me with angry hate mail.
ROFL ROFL :clap: That was awesome! You should call the Star to see if they'll publish it...

[Demonpenz]

i was going do to do something like that TK but yours was obvouisly much better

[tk13]

ROFL ROFL :clap: That was awesome! You should call the Star to see if they'll publish it...
ROFL Yeah right... it would lose quality once an editor got a hold of it. I fully expect Whitlock to plagarize me and use "UnderaChiefers" in a column though... then again maybe that's too corny for him, but not me. :)

[Skip Towne]

Is it legal for a team to sell its draft picks? Nah, probably not or King Carl would have done it.

[milkman]

You asked for it...

-------------

Ever have one of those bowel movements where you feel like you're ready to pass the 10 pounds of bacon grease you had for dinner but it never comes out, leaving you bent over screaming like you got kicked in Aunt Betty's nut butter? Well there's a bunch of overpaid hacks that call themselves the Kansas City Chiefs that will make you do the same thing, without having to use the john. The UnderaChiefers went into this season with everybody slobbing over their tiny phalluses because they were supposedly going to the Super Bowl. Halfway through this abortion of a season, this team has as many wins as the Bears, Bengals, and Cardinals, or as Dubya calls it, the Axis of Suckass Football teams. Let's take a look at why this team has less chance of making the playoffs than Jessica Simpson does of become a nuclear physicist.


1. A Brain
http://brakpage.com/images/scarecrow_oz.gif

They don't have one, especially on defense. This is proven by the fact that Chiefs opponents have run a bootleg misdirection play approximately 27 MILLION times so far this season, and the Chiefs have yet to stop it. Teams are now bringing neon signs out onto the field stating in bold letters:

WE ARE ABOUT TO RUN A BOOTLEG PLAY

and these brainless hacks still bite on the playaction fake like a dog who always turns and runs the other way when you fake throwing a ball over it's head. If they only had a brain.


2. No defensive leadership
http://www.offwell.free-online.co.uk/heath_puzzle/puzzle/mouth.jpg

This is Eric Hicks. This is the only part of Mr. Hicks game that you are guaranteed to see every weekend. He is the alleged "leader" of the "defense" for the UnderaChiefers. His job is to tell the media every weekend that the defense is getting better and will eventually get the job done. Considering that Mr. Hicks has been doing this for over 3 years now, Wolf Blitzer can now project that this defense will finally round into shape sometime in the year 2146, just in time to watch Al Davis go crazy and nuke the entire city of Oakland, killing 3 different Raider fans.


3. Hands
http://angel.fcpages.com/shows/addamsfamily-thing.jpg

A fitting picture, because sometimes these UnderaChiefer hacks could be playing with two bloody severed arms half the time and nobody would be able to tell the difference. They routinely drop easy passes and are among the league leaders in drops, especially at crucial times. It is also an unwritten rule in the Chiefs playbook that if you have a breakaway and a chance to score a touchdown, you must allow yourself to be caught from behind while you are stripped of the ball, causing half a million Chiefs fans across the country to throw a large object through their televisions, or kill a small animal. 30,000 cats died Sunday when Eddie "I would be totally f*cked if I were in one of those action movies where my life depended on me HOLDING ON TO THE F*CKING RAILING ALONG THE EDGE OF A 30-STORY BUILDING" Kennison fumbled the football when he was mere feet from scoring.


4. Larry Johnson
http://www.bms.iwarp.com/images/snail.jpg

This is Larry Johnson. He has the speed of a drunk one-legged midget in an Oktoberfest potato-sack race. The Chiefs spent a first-round pick on him, which means he is supposed to be good. He isn't. So far his skills lend themselves to stirring as much sh!t as possible and complaining at a rate that would make someone that was PMS'ing look like Ghandi at a peacekeepers convention.


5. The King
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/attachment.php?attachmentid=33756&stc=1

Hello, Carl Peterson. This guy runs the team, drafts people, makes personnel moves. Too bad he sucks at it. He took this job when Ronald Reagan was still President. A decade and a half later, he's still drafting guys like Larry Johnson because he's apparently got a deal with Rogaine on the side and he wants Chiefs fans all over the world to pull their hair out. During his tenure every other team in his division has been to a Super Bowl, but not Carl. This year he angered fans by not using up all of the team's cap space yet raising ticket prices. The fans are angry, but any smart Chiefs fan knows he's holding out for a first round draft pick that has the speed of a sloth on crank that couldn't catch a cold and will never learn how to read a bootleg. Then he will truly live up to his moniker, "King Carl". And the UnderaChiefers will be well on their way to another disasterous season.

----------------------------------


*The above is my interpretation of a possible Maddox article on the Chiefs and does not necessarily reflect the actual thoughts of anybody that actually exists. If you don't know who Maddox is or what kind of humorous website he runs you might not understand or find any of the above funny... so don't respond or PM me with angry hate mail.

I don't know who Maddox is, but I find it both funny and tragic.

I don't have to explain why it's funny.
But it's tragic because it's all dead on.

[Calcountry]

1. A Brain
http://brakpage.com/images/scarecrow_oz.gif

They don't have one, especially on defense. This is proven by the fact that Chiefs opponents have run a bootleg misdirection play approximately 27 MILLION times so far this season, and the Chiefs have yet to stop it. Teams are now bringing neon signs out onto the field stating in bold letters:

WE ARE ABOUT TO RUN A BOOTLEG PLAY

and these brainless hacks still bite on the playaction fake like a dog who always turns and runs the other way when you fake throwing a ball over it's head. If they only had a brain .





I must take exception at your comment highlighted above. I am sure that Dogs everywhere were deeply offended by that comment.

[Boise_Chief]

Could someone else quote the entire original post. I'd like to have to scroll another hundred yards to read "ha ha that's funny"

BTW That is funny. :)

[teedubya]

Could someone else quote the entire original post. I'd like to have to scroll another hundred yards to read "ha ha that's funny"

BTW That is funny. :)

hahhah ... that is funny too. LOLOLLOLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!111!!1!

[TEX]

Um... I think the snail is moving faster than Larry... :shake: