What movie role were you born to play? [Archive]

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 06:36 PM

If the producers had cast you instead of some movie star, what role would have been your masterpiece of the movie theater?

Personally, I think I would have made an excellent dweeb character on The Breakfast Club back when I was 17. Anthony Michael Hall, look out.

Skip Towne

01-08-2005, 06:39 PM

Dick Hikok - In Cold Blood

stevieray

01-08-2005, 06:40 PM

Im not choosey. Something in Vegas with Ann Margaret.

4th and Long

01-08-2005, 06:41 PM

Im not choosey. Something in Vegas with Ann Margaret.
ROFL

Bob Dole

01-08-2005, 06:41 PM

Bob Dole is MacGuyver, damnit!

Phobia

01-08-2005, 06:45 PM

I could be Steven Seagal in Under Seige except I run like a man.

4th and Long

01-08-2005, 06:48 PM

I could be Joe Pesci in Good Fellas ... except I have a goatee ... and I don't want to play a role where I get greased. :shake:

OK maybe that's no the part for me after all.

Garcia Bronco

01-08-2005, 07:05 PM

I could be Joe Pesci in Good Fellas ... except I have a goatee ... and I don't want to play a role where I get greased. :shake:

OK maybe that's no the part for me after all.

"I don't know if you've heard. You been up there awhile and nobody came and told ya. I don't shine shoes no more. No more shines for Tommy."

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 07:05 PM

Luke Skywalker

4th and Long

01-08-2005, 07:08 PM

An Ewok
I fixed your post for you.

4th and Long

01-08-2005, 07:08 PM

"I don't know if you've heard. You been up there awhile and nobody came and told ya. I don't shine shoes no more. No more shines for Tommy."
ROFL

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 07:09 PM

I fixed your post for you.

Hey, he never got laid either. :D

I'm not short enough to be an Ewok, either.

Bob Dole

01-08-2005, 07:44 PM

Luke Skywalker

That would explain why your ****ing sister has you pussywhipped.

Freak.

teedubya

01-08-2005, 07:46 PM

i was born to play the part of Dirk Diggler...except for the cocaine part and the blowing dudes at the end of movie...

teedubya

01-08-2005, 07:47 PM

Also, "Jenna and Nikki Nova Love Ali Chi3fs" would have been a good role.

LiL stumppy

01-08-2005, 07:49 PM

Um I would have to say I would be the stud in any movie with a stud. :)

cdcox

01-08-2005, 07:50 PM

In 15 years, I could play Jack Lemmon's role in Glenngarry Glen Ross.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 07:53 PM

Also, "Jenna and Nikki Nova Love Ali Chi3fs" would have been a good role.

ROFL

Ali Chi3fs is a top 5 GoChiefs poster!

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 07:56 PM

That would explain why your ****ing sister has you pussywhipped.

Freak.

ROFL

Phobia

01-08-2005, 07:59 PM

Why is that Bob Dole post so funny? I want to know.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:00 PM

ROFL

I thought it was good. ROFL

Why is that Bob Dole post so funny? I want to know.

Luke's sister is Princess Leia. He pines after her for years, then finally discovers she's his sister. Harrison Ford then steals her away.

I tapped that ass when he was frozen in Carbonite, though.

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:02 PM

I thought it was good. ROFL

Luke's sister is Princess Leia. He pines after her for years, then finally discovers she's his sister. Harrison Ford then steals her away.

I tapped that ass when he was frozen in Carbonite, though.

You expect me to believe that you boned Harrison Ford? Okay, I do.

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 08:04 PM

Why is that Bob Dole post so funny? I want to know.

The statement represents a nearly flawless juxtaposition of character development in cinematic form with character flaws in real life. Additionally, it represents an astute observation that takes the listener by surprise, yet rings with an element of truth, while also uncovering a heretofore unseen hint of sexual impropriety.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:05 PM

You expect me to believe that you boned Harrison Ford? Okay, I do.

ROFL

How did you know Han got frozen in Carbonite? NERD ALERT!

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:05 PM

The statement represents a nearly flawless juxtaposition of character development in cinematic form with character flaws in real life. Additionally, it represents an astute observation that takes the listener by surprise, yet rings with an element of truth, while also uncovering a heretofore unseen hint of sexual impropriety.

Run away with me.

Spicy McHaggis

01-08-2005, 08:06 PM

Derek Zoolander, I've always wanted to help people who can't read good and want to do other things good.

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:07 PM

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:08 PM

ROFL

How did you know Han got frozen in Carbonite? NERD ALERT!

Because that's what you just typed.

Dartgod

01-08-2005, 08:09 PM

Bob Dole is MacGuyver, damnit!
No, I should be MacGuyver. I once locked my keys in my car and broke in with an old license plate.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:11 PM

Because that's what you just typed.

Yeah, I'm stupid.

Garcia Bronco

01-08-2005, 08:11 PM

In 15 years, I could play Jack Lemmon's role in Glenngarry Glen Ross.

Great movie about sales.

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 08:12 PM

Would you be disappointed if I claimed to understand perfectly what you just typed?

Would you explain it to me?

siberian khatru

01-08-2005, 08:14 PM

Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure."

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:16 PM

Would you explain it to me?

No. But I could if I weren't so damn lazy.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:16 PM

Would you explain it to me?

I understood every word. I bow before Rain Man's vocal superiority.

Garcia Bronco

01-08-2005, 08:16 PM

Garcia Bronco

01-08-2005, 08:17 PM

I understood every word. I bow before Rain Man's vocal superiority.

That would be verbal.

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:18 PM

That would be verbel.

Heh. Any relation to a gerbel?

Funny, but I didn't actually hear anything whilst reading Rainman's post. I'd say you're both mistaken.

Phobia

01-08-2005, 08:19 PM

You dirty rotten typo correcting SOB.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:20 PM

That would be verbal.

He ain't speakin.' But he's showing off his vocabulary. So I think it's vocal.

Dartgod

01-08-2005, 08:20 PM

Heh. Any relation to a gerbel?

Funny, but I didn't actually hear anything whilst reading Rainman's post. I'd say you're both mistaken.
Whilst?

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 08:21 PM

That would be verbal.

ROFL

That was funny because of the irony of correcting a mistake about word choice in a post where the poster was boasting about his reading comprehension skills.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:22 PM

ROFL

That was funny because of the irony of correcting a mistake about word choice in a post where the poster was boasting about his reading comprehension skills.

Don't make me hit you, Rain Man.

Rain Man

01-08-2005, 08:24 PM

You dirty rotten typo correcting SOB.

ROFL

That was funny because it represents the travails of attempting to make a humorous statement in an environment where the back-and-forth of repartee can be disrupted by retroactively changing one's previous statements.

Hammock Parties

01-08-2005, 08:26 PM

ROFL

That was funny because it represents the travails of attempting to make a humorous statement in an environment where the back-and-forth of repartee can be disrupted by retroactively changing one's previous statements.

OK and I totally understood that.

Travails and retroactive in the same sentence. Wow.

In-depth research of past board entries would likely reveal that such stupendous usage of the english language has never been on exhibition before. And I bet that's the first time 'travails' has been used, too.

Braincase

01-08-2005, 10:26 PM

I'd nominate Taco John for the role of Luis Molina in "Kiss of the Spider Woman".

Phobia

01-08-2005, 10:30 PM

Whilst?

Would you prefer "whilest"?

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=whilst&x=0&y=0

MOhillbilly

01-10-2005, 01:30 PM

Mongo

Saulbadguy

01-10-2005, 01:34 PM

Paul Allen

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 01:37 PM

Mongo

Sure you don't mean, "mango" from SNL?

MOhillbilly

01-10-2005, 01:39 PM

Sure you don't mean, "mango" from SNL?

4321

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 01:45 PM

4321

:p

I set you up for the Stuart Smalley opening, and you whiffed.... :shake:

MOhillbilly

01-10-2005, 01:55 PM

:p

I set you up for the Stuart Smalley opening, and you whiffed.... :shake:
A) im not very smrt
B) TV doesnt make me smrtr

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 01:58 PM

A) im not very smrt
B) TV doesnt make me smrtr

I know better, liar :p

MOhillbilly

01-10-2005, 01:59 PM

I know better, liar :p

i have beach front property for sale.

Alton deFlat

01-10-2005, 02:02 PM

Meat in "Porkys".

:D

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 02:03 PM

i have beach front property for sale.

Ozark, swampbottom land could be worth somethin' in a few decades...

e_train69

01-10-2005, 02:09 PM

Indiana Jones

or

Be in one of the popular deer hunting videos like "Mossy Oak", "Realtree", etc.

ZepSinger

01-10-2005, 02:11 PM

I coulda replaced Mark Wahlberg in 'Rock Star'.

Or at the very least played the 'pompous prick second guitarist'....

Z

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 02:11 PM

I coulda replaced Mark Wahlberg in 'Rock Star'.

Or at the very least played the 'pompous prick second guitarist'....

Z

Or the bass player in Spinal Tap?

ZepSinger

01-10-2005, 02:12 PM

Or the bass player in Spinal Tap?

Ah yes... minus the tinfoil-wrapped cucumber, of course.

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 02:14 PM

Ah yes... minus the tinfoil-wrapped cucumber, of course.

No "prop" needed, eh? ROFL

ZepSinger

01-10-2005, 02:15 PM

No "prop" needed, eh? ROFL

Nature's cucumber has been more than sufficient.
:)

Otter

01-10-2005, 02:21 PM

Prolly Bricktop from "Snatch" or Paulie from "Goodfellas". I got the young Joe Torrie look going for me.

Not sure if that's good or bad. :hmmm:

Frankie

01-10-2005, 02:47 PM

Bond.... James Bond

OK a shorter version. ;)

Frankie

01-10-2005, 02:48 PM

And.... slightly chubbier.

Spicy McHaggis

01-10-2005, 03:12 PM

Prolly Bricktop from "Snatch" or Paulie from "Goodfellas". I got the young Joe Torrie look going for me.

Not sure if that's good or bad. :hmmm:

I was thinking about going with Turkish but I've got too much hair right now.

Frankie

01-10-2005, 03:28 PM

And.... slightly chubbier.

And.... slightly older.

Rain Man

01-10-2005, 03:52 PM

And.... slightly older.

And instead of a hairy chest, you have a hairy back.

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 03:59 PM

And instead of a hairy chest, you have a hairy back.

Frankie, at an Anti-War Demonstration.

Mile High Mania

01-10-2005, 04:02 PM

Dante ... from Clerks, although the Randall role would fit quite well. Actually, either of those would have fit the MHM before the age of 30.

Not sure which would best fit now.

Mile High Mania

01-10-2005, 04:06 PM

Who would want to be Dante? He's a f*cking whiner.

Randall, on the other hand, just doesn't give a shit.

Well, now that wasn't the question.. what role did I want to play. Either of those characters would be easy and somewhat fun to play. Let's not make too much of this..

Hammock Parties

01-10-2005, 04:08 PM

Skip Towne was born to play the role of the old man who dies on the pot with a boner.

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 04:11 PM

Sounds about right.

Even dead he'll be getting laid more than you.

Cue, "Weekend at Bernie's"....

Dr. Johnny Fever

01-10-2005, 04:11 PM

I've always dreamed of a role as "man #5," "bartender," or "taxi cab driver with the hat."

ROYC75

01-10-2005, 04:11 PM

( me ) My wife and kids !

elvomito

01-10-2005, 04:14 PM

Rocco Siffredi

Frankie

01-10-2005, 05:00 PM

And instead of a hairy chest, you have a hairy back.

Hairy chest, yes. Hairy back.... well maybe.

Frankie

01-10-2005, 05:01 PM

Frankie, at an Anti-War Demonstration.
ROFL
OUCH

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 05:03 PM

ROFL
OUCH

:eek:

Wow, I was expecting neg rep....

:)

Frankie

01-10-2005, 05:08 PM

:eek:

Wow, I was expecting neg rep....

:)
Why? :shrug:

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 05:08 PM

Why? :shrug:

Your usual response when I razz you; my bad....

Frankie

01-10-2005, 05:17 PM

Your usual response when I razz you; my bad....

Not so. This was not out of line, tasteless, maliceous or below the belt. I do have a pretty good sense of humor if you must know. :)

tyton75

01-10-2005, 05:27 PM

I'm more of the satan spawn of the Godfather and Silent Bob

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 10:19 PM

Not so. This was not out of line, tasteless, maliceous or below the belt. I do have a pretty good sense of humor if you must know. :)

Maybe I'll just leave you alone over in DC.

That, or maybe I'll just stay out of DC entirely? Eh, nah.... :shake:

morphius

01-10-2005, 10:21 PM

I think I could make a good Dread Pirate Roberts.

Mr. Kotter

01-10-2005, 10:27 PM

Bullshit. Shut the f*ck up, Silent Bob.

Okay, "Woogie".... :p

Rausch

01-10-2005, 10:27 PM

I often feel like Spike Lee's character in "Do the Right Thing."

I think I could pull it off. As long as I kept my clothes on...

morphius

01-10-2005, 10:31 PM

Bullshit. Shut the f*ck up, Silent Bob.
F!@# ME! How the hell did I forget that one! Unbelievable.

KCWolfman

01-10-2005, 10:35 PM

I would love to play the Jimmy Stewart role in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington or Cary Grant in Arsenic and Old Lace.

KCWolfman

01-10-2005, 10:36 PM

I've always dreamed of a role as "man #5," "bartender," or "taxi cab driver with the hat."
Weren't you "guy by lightpost" in the crowd scene of Roller Coaster?

RNR

01-10-2005, 11:05 PM

Edward J. Burns role in Ash Wednesday. Good guy with a bad past that won't go away.

Wallcrawler

01-10-2005, 11:05 PM

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Barret

01-10-2005, 11:46 PM

The Big Lebowski - Walter Sobchak-

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

stumppy

01-11-2005, 01:06 AM

Just about anythng by John Holmes, or maybe Peter North.
My stage name would be Jake Slade.:D

Rausch

01-11-2005, 01:11 AM

Just about anythng by John Holmes, or maybe Peter North.
My stage name would be Jake Slade.:D

Ok, "Stumpy."

stumppy

01-11-2005, 01:13 AM

Ok, "Stumpy."

:D

Ya ever wonder why they call the really huge guy Tiny ????

Rausch

01-11-2005, 01:14 AM

:D

Ya ever wonder why they call the really huge guy Tiny ????

Because he's overcompensating?...

stumppy

01-11-2005, 01:17 AM

Ok, "Stumpy."

Just call me Jake.:D

Rausch

01-11-2005, 01:22 AM

Just call me Jake.:D

I'm not calling you anything, and you're not getting my phone number...

Help! I need an adult! :cuss:

stumppy

01-11-2005, 01:23 AM

I'm not calling you anything, and you're not getting my phone number...

Help! I need an adult! :cuss:

ROFLROFLROFL

Wanna be in the movies kid ????
ROFL

Frankie

01-11-2005, 10:05 AM

Bond..... James Bond!

Did I say that already? Oh, yeah.... Never mind!

Ultra Peanut

01-11-2005, 10:09 AM

Sideline & Special Teams Extra #91 in the "2004 Kansas City Chiefs Story."

cadmonkey

01-11-2005, 10:34 AM

I was born to play Will Hunting from "Good Will Hunting"

Otter

01-11-2005, 11:10 AM

I was born to play Will Hunting from "Good Will Hunting"

You have to be able to hammer out things like differential equations, encryption algorithms, string theory (and so on and so forth) in disgustingly simple and revolutionary solutions.

If your hanging out here with that ability we're gonna slap ya!

cadmonkey

01-11-2005, 11:13 AM

You have to be able to hammer out things like differential equations, encryption algorithms, string theory (and so on and so forth) in disgustingly simple and revolutionary solutions.

If your hanging out here with that ability we're gonna slap ya!

I'm an Architectural Engineer dude, you should slap me anyways!