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View Full Version : What is one of the biggest ironies of your life?


|Zach|
01-19-2005, 04:48 PM
For some reason I was thinking about this today. What is one of the biggest ironies associated with your life?

My mom is a respitory therapist that smokes. I love her to death but I have always found that so odd.

ENDelt260
01-19-2005, 04:49 PM
My mom is a respitory therapist that smokes.

Awesome.

I doubt I can top that.

Phobia
01-19-2005, 04:50 PM
I'm a fatass, dipshit that women love. I can't explain it.

Donger
01-19-2005, 04:51 PM
I'm an extremely fastidious person, yet I don't wash my legs with any great frequency.

Baby Lee
01-19-2005, 04:52 PM
I'm a fatass, dipshit that women love. I can't explain it.
Related to that, when I was a physical specimen in HS I had horrible female interaction skills. When I finally developed a rap, I turned into Jabba the Butt.

Mr. Kotter
01-19-2005, 04:52 PM
That as a teecher, I am realy an ignorinte dippshit.

|Zach|
01-19-2005, 04:54 PM
Related to that, when I was a physical specimen in HS I had horrible female interaction skills. When I finally developed a rap, I turned into Jabba the Butt.
ROFL

Saulbadguy
01-19-2005, 04:54 PM
My grandmother was a Mizzou graduate.

I work at the school district that I dropped out of in High School.

|Zach|
01-19-2005, 04:55 PM
My dad has not bowled in 2 years.

Phobia
01-19-2005, 04:56 PM
I work at the school district that I dropped out of in High School.

That's a really good one. I don't see how anybody can compete with Zach's mom. In fact, Zach's mom is on top right now. She's the best.

Clint in Wichita
01-19-2005, 04:58 PM
I enjoy watching championship-caliber sports franchises, yet I watch the Chiefs almost every week.

|Zach|
01-19-2005, 04:59 PM
heh

Rausch
01-19-2005, 05:25 PM
My last name means "alcoholic."

My girlfriend is part Irish, part Mexican, part American Indian, and doesn't like to drink.

My girlfriend has a tatoo of her husband's name on her ancle. My girlfriend's ex now has a girlfriend who's got my first name tatooed on her chest.

ENDelt260
01-19-2005, 05:27 PM
My girlfriend has a tatoo of her husband's name on her ancle. My girlfriend's ex now has a girlfriend who's got my first name tatooed on her chest.

That's f*cked up.

tk13
01-19-2005, 05:32 PM
Lincoln and Kennedy both have 7 letters, and they both were President.

Dr. Johnny Fever
01-19-2005, 05:34 PM
I'm a DJ/advertising sales rep who hates talking to and generally dealing with people.

2bikemike
01-19-2005, 05:42 PM
I'm a DJ/advertising sales rep who hates talking to and generally dealing with people.

Yeah your social skills are extremely lacking. :D

picasso
01-19-2005, 05:45 PM
I stop smoking for health reasons and I turn into a butterball that snores. What the hell is all that about?

Rausch
01-19-2005, 05:46 PM
That's f*cked up.

Next time, right before I OD on some $3it liquor, you'll have to ask me for the whole story...

Bob Dole
01-19-2005, 05:53 PM
That's a really good one. I don't see how anybody can compete with Zach's mom. In fact, Zach's mom is on top right now. She's the best.

Are you taking pictures with that new camera?

Bob Dole
01-19-2005, 05:55 PM
I'm a DJ/advertising sales rep who hates talking to and generally dealing with people.


It loses some of the punch when everyone here realizes peope hate talking and dealing with you, too.

Dr. Johnny Fever
01-19-2005, 06:08 PM
It loses some of the punch when everyone here realizes peope hate talking and dealing with you, too.
True....but I was trying to contribute to the thread. I know Zach appreciates it.

Bob Dole
01-19-2005, 06:12 PM
True....but I was trying to contribute the the thread. I know Zach appreciates it.

True. No thread is complete until it contains a wee Toddism.

Might as well shut this mother****er down right now.

Dr. Johnny Fever
01-19-2005, 06:14 PM
True. No thread is complete until it contains a wee Toddism.

Might as well shut this mother****er down right now.
ROFL :thumb:

good point. bye.

siberian khatru
01-19-2005, 06:33 PM
In fact, Zach's mom is on top right now. She's the best.

You're shagging Zach's Mom?

ENDelt260
01-19-2005, 06:34 PM
Next time, right before I OD on some $3it liquor, you'll have to ask me for the whole story...
I'll be in good ole RollaMo March 16-20 if you're ready for some more Rumpleminze.

Over-Head
01-19-2005, 07:02 PM
The other night I almost laughed till I cried!

When the better half met me 3 years ago, I was 1 tough, rough (around the edges) , didn’t give a flying fug, long haul trucker with a hart of steel, and a temper to boot!
I lived for ICE COLD showers!
Now I’m not talking luke warm,,I mean bit’s of ice hurtling at you in the dead of winter was my cup of tea

When the better half and I used to go to take a shower after loading or unloading etc,,,
We’d share a shower, she’d crank up the heat, I’d soap up on the other end of the shower stall, then do the switch-a-roo,,,and go with FULL COLD water.
I must have been part polar bear in another life.

NEVER a shower went by when she’d have both hands up doing the girly girl lather/rinse/CONDITIONER/rinse thing and not have me sneak my hand around and zap her with the cold water which brought out a “try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”all the while screaming:
“DANCEN JEZZUS MY SON WHERE”S DA FUKEN ‘OT WATER TOO B’y!”

..(to really appreciate it, you hafe to listen to a Newfoundlander talk,,,kinda like a mumbling Irshman)

Then came a stream of obscenities. :cuss:

Now we live with her 60 year old mother, who I swear, even in the middle of summer, gets up at precisely 6:35 am EVERY F’en day and the first thing she does is start that bloody old fashion oil stove in the kitchen.
I mean it’s like 100 degrees in that kitchen morning noon, and fuggen night!

Well 3 years has tamed the savage beast…You can see steam (sort of) when I get out of the shower now.

Well the other night, I reached in, turned the valve thingy to where I normally have it, and jumped in.
(much to my dismay, “mother” had taken the back plate off to clean it, and NOT put the temperature plate indicator back to the straight up position, but kinda 90 degrees off.
.
SOOOO

I hop in the shower,
and mutter to my self as I’m doing a…

YOU GUESSED IT!! :thumb:

“try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”

“Dancen jezzus, is there no f’ing hot water in this house?”
Which made me stop and think,,,”Oh shit! This is what JoAnn felt like when I used to blast her with cold water.” :0

Which brought on a fit of laughter. :banghead:

Jenson71
01-19-2005, 07:07 PM
The other night I almost laughed till I cried!

When the better half met me 3 years ago, I was 1 tough, rough (around the edges) , didn’t give a flying fug, long haul trucker with a hart of steel, and a temper to boot!
I lived for ICE COLD showers!
Now I’m not talking luke warm,,I mean bit’s of ice hurtling at you in the dead of winter was my cup of tea

When the better half and I used to go to take a shower after loading or unloading etc,,,
We’d share a shower, she’d crank up the heat, I’d soap up on the other end of the shower stall, then do the switch-a-roo,,,and go with FULL COLD water.
I must have been part polar bear in another life.
NEVER a shower went by when she’d have both hands up doing the girly girl lather/rinse/CONDITIONER/rinse thing and not have me sneak my hand around and zap her with the cold water which brought out a “try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”all the while screaming:
“DANCEN JEZZUS MY SON WHERE”S DA FUKEN ‘OT WATER TOO B’y!”

..(to really appreciate it, you hafe to listen to a Newfoundlander talk,,,kinda like a mumbling Irshman)
To which came a stream of obscenities.

Now we live with her 60 year old mother who I swear even in the middle of summer gets up at precisely 6:35 am EVERY F’en day and the first thing she does is start that bloody old fashion oil stove in the kitchen.
I mean it’s like 100 degrees in that kitchen morning noon, and fuggen night!

Well 3 years has tamed the savage beats…You can see steam (sort of) when I get out of the shower now.

Well the other night, I reached in, turned the valve thingy to where I normally have it, and jumped in.
(much to my dismay, “mother” had taken the back plate off to clean it, and NOT put the temperature plate indicator back to the straight up position, but kinda 90 degrees off.
.
SOOOO

I hop in the shower,
and mutter to my self as I’m doing a…

YOU GUESSED IT!!

“try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”
while I hollered ….
“Dancen jezzus, is there no f’ing hot water in this house?”
Which made me stop and think,,,”Oh ****! This is what JoAnn felt like when I used to blast her with cold water.”
Which brought on a fit of laughter.

That's one of the stranger things I've read in my life.

Rausch
01-19-2005, 07:09 PM
:spock:

I'm convinced that before I die I'm getting drunk up there with this cat....wherever the fug "there" is...

Phobia
01-19-2005, 07:21 PM
The other night I almost laughed till I cried!

When the better half met me 3 years ago, I was 1 tough, rough (around the edges) , didn’t give a flying fug, long haul trucker with a hart of steel, and a temper to boot!
I lived for ICE COLD showers!
Now I’m not talking luke warm,,I mean bit’s of ice hurtling at you in the dead of winter was my cup of tea

When the better half and I used to go to take a shower after loading or unloading etc,,,
We’d share a shower, she’d crank up the heat, I’d soap up on the other end of the shower stall, then do the switch-a-roo,,,and go with FULL COLD water.
I must have been part polar bear in another life.

NEVER a shower went by when she’d have both hands up doing the girly girl lather/rinse/CONDITIONER/rinse thing and not have me sneak my hand around and zap her with the cold water which brought out a “try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”all the while screaming:
“DANCEN JEZZUS MY SON WHERE”S DA FUKEN ‘OT WATER TOO B’y!”

..(to really appreciate it, you hafe to listen to a Newfoundlander talk,,,kinda like a mumbling Irshman)

Then came a stream of obscenities. :cuss:

Now we live with her 60 year old mother, who I swear, even in the middle of summer, gets up at precisely 6:35 am EVERY F’en day and the first thing she does is start that bloody old fashion oil stove in the kitchen.
I mean it’s like 100 degrees in that kitchen morning noon, and fuggen night!

Well 3 years has tamed the savage beast…You can see steam (sort of) when I get out of the shower now.

Well the other night, I reached in, turned the valve thingy to where I normally have it, and jumped in.
(much to my dismay, “mother” had taken the back plate off to clean it, and NOT put the temperature plate indicator back to the straight up position, but kinda 90 degrees off.
.
SOOOO

I hop in the shower,
and mutter to my self as I’m doing a…

YOU GUESSED IT!! :thumb:

“try not to curl up and go fetal jiggy dance”

“Dancen jezzus, is there no f’ing hot water in this house?”
Which made me stop and think,,,”Oh shit! This is what JoAnn felt like when I used to blast her with cold water.” :0

Which brought on a fit of laughter. :banghead:

I liked your other story better.

Which one?

ALL of them.

Sure-Oz
01-19-2005, 07:35 PM
My best freind graduated from MU and is the biggest KU fan i know.

CHIEF4EVER
01-19-2005, 07:39 PM
My last name means "alcoholic."

My girlfriend is part Irish, part Mexican, part American Indian, and doesn't like to drink.

My girlfriend has a tatoo of her husband's name on her ancle. My girlfriend's ex now has a girlfriend who's got my first name tatooed on her chest.

Your last name is Alkoholiker? :hmmm:

Saulbadguy
01-19-2005, 07:47 PM
My best freind graduated from MU and is the biggest KU fan i know.
Thats not all that ironic.

Saulbadguy
01-19-2005, 07:48 PM
23-18 NU. I warned you guys about McCray.

RealSNR
01-19-2005, 08:04 PM
I'm pretty much the guy who sucks at everything, has unrealistic goals, and mocks others for having unrealistic goals. Eventually those people achieve their goals, and I hate them, yet I want to be them. So if I were like them, I would hate myself. Therefore, I want to hate myself, but I can't because I suck too much.