The Costco Syndrome: Women & Shopping Carts

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

Sorry in advance if I offend anyone.... :holdman:

I go to Costco every now and then to buy bottled water, alcohol, those mini bagels and a few other items such as laundry soap and hamburger (1.99/lb vs 3.29/lb in the grocery store).

Every time I walk through the front door, I cringe. I deftly navigate the aisles but I have discovered that people are beseiged by some type of giant retail fog. I've decided there are four types of people I will constantly run into at Costco:

*The Avid Sampler: This person wanders from aisle to aisle searching for delicately crafted morsals to toss down his (or her) esophagus. This person often disrupts traffic flow during peak times because they feel their taste buds take priority over everyone else.

*The Cart Monger: This person steers their cart down the middle of the aisle forcing others to dive and dodge for safety into undesirable aisles. These people are often older women, soccer moms or the preoccupied gay man (i.e. The Bad Guy). They're also caught with a non-descript glaze on their face which means they have no idea where they are going or what they are looking for.

*The Fat-Ass B**ch in Velour Jump Suits: They think they own the place. They drive their carts all over the place, gab on the phone, nosh on samples and stop to chat in the middle of the aisle. Sometimes their fanny is adorned with a cute logo such as "Sexy Girl," "En Fuego Chick," etc...

*People With a Mission: This is the group I fall in. I know what I want but my plan is met with failure because of the three groups mentioned above.

I am done ranting.
:hmmm:
**Edit to take out gochiefs as a gay man even though he asked me to blow him.

[Eleazar]

You're forgetting another type - "Should have left satan's kids at home"

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

Good call. I wanted to maim this little tyrannt earlier today. His mom was wearing a velour jump suit.

You're forgetting another type - "Should have left satan's kids at home"

[Hammock Parties]

Sorry in advance if I offend anyone.... :holdman:

I go to Costco every now and then to buy bottled water, alcohol, those mini bagels and a few other items such as laundry soap and hamburger (1.99/lb vs 3.29/lb in the grocery store).

Every time I walk through the front door, I cringe. I deftly navigate the aisles but I have discovered that people are beseiged by some type of giant retail fog. I've decided there are four types of people I will constantly run into at Costco:

*The Avid Sampler: This person wanders from aisle to aisle searching for delicately crafted morsals to toss down his (or her) esophagus. This person often disrupts traffic flow during peak times because they feel their taste buds take priority over everyone else.

*The Cart Monger: This person steers their cart down the middle of the aisle forcing others to dive and dodge for safety into undesirable aisles. These people are often older women, soccer moms or the preoccupied gay man (i.e. gochiefs). They're also caught with a non-descript glaze on their face which means they have no idea where they are going or what they are looking for.

*The Fat-Ass B**ch in Velour Jump Suits: They think they own the place. They drive their carts all over the place, gab on the phone, nosh on samples and stop to chat in the middle of the aisle. Sometimes their fanny is adorned with a cute logo such as "Sexy Girl," "En Fuego Chick," etc...

*People With a Mission: This is the group I fall in. I know what I want but my plan is met with failure because of the three groups mentioned above.

I am done ranting.


I believe you can blow me. When I go shopping, I fall into the same category as you.

[2bikemike]

I guess I fall into the man with a mission category. I know what I want and I usually go when the store first opens. Rush through the aisles grabbing my stuff and getting in line before the lines form.

[Saulbadguy]

I'm the avid sampler. I know what I'm going to buy for the most part, but I always try to find something new.

[Eleazar]

Good call. I wanted to maim this little tyrannt earlier today. His mom was wearing a velour jump suit.

Man, on Christmas Eve I saw a kid at the local wal-mart that was just killing me.

I was in the checkout line and he was beet red in the face from crying, and for literally 10 minutes straight he flat-out screamed while his enormous mother completely ignored him. He was screaming "I WANT A CANDY CANE!!" over and over, hitting and kicking his mom's legs. After she ignored him a little bit, he started throwing all the impulse-buy crap off the shelf next to him, and then went over to that carousel with the plastic bags on it, and starting throwing them all over the floor. I was just thinking, if that were my kid, I'd spend a lot of time wearing out my belts on him :# :spank:

[chiefs4me]

You're forgetting another type - "Should have left satan's kids at home"


Hey,,that's my son your talking about. :deevee:

[Eleazar]

Hey,,that's my son your talking about. :deevee:


hey,,,leave,,,his,,,worthless,,,arse,,,at,,,home,,,if,,,he,,,cant,,,behave,,,in,,,public,,,,,,,,

[Ultra Peanut]

the preoccupied gay man (i.e. The Bad Guy).ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

ROFL

ah ha! haha!

[chiefs4me]

hey,,,leave,,,his,,,worthless,,,arse,,,at,,,home,,,if,,,he,,,cant,,,behave,,,in,,,publicHello - commatard on the loose.,,,


Worthless ass? You called a child that? Goodybye, not someone I wanna converse with.:harumph:

[Saulbadguy]

Oh..and I try not to disrupt traffic, as much as possible. I stick to one side of the aisle. I just like to read labels and see the nutritional content on a product i'm about to buy. It takes me more time, but its just something I gotta do.

[Saulbadguy]

Worthless ass? You called a child that? Goodybye, not someone I wanna converse with.:harumph:
Cool. So thats the trick to it, eh? Ok...a child=worthless ass. Thanks.

[KcMizzou]

.the preoccupied gay man (i.e. The Bad Guy). ROFL Wow... a sniper-shot from out of nowhere.

[Frazod]

I'm definitely on a mission when I shop. All mall zombies must f#cking die. :#

[go bo]

Cool. So thats the trick to it, eh? Ok...a child=worthless ass. Thanks.apparently... ROFL ROFL ROFL

[KCJake]

"*The Fat-Ass B**ch in Velour Jump Suits: They think they own the place. They drive their carts all over the place, gab on the phone, nosh on samples and stop to chat in the middle of the aisle. Sometimes their fanny is adorned with a cute logo such as "Sexy Girl," "En Fuego Chick," etc..."

I totally agree with this one. :cuss:

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

Frank and I go way back...he won't be mad. Now if I call him Kimble...he might go postal.

ROFL Wow... a sniper-shot from out of nowhere.

[Eleazar]

Worthless ass? You called a child that? Goodybye, not someone I wanna converse with.:harumph:

oh, suck it up you drama queen.