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Katipan
01-26-2005, 12:21 PM
I am not the author, but nor do I wish to spam... Just thought you'd enjoy. :D

Raiders schedule for 2005

September 15 - Wilson Jr. High School
22 - Cub Scout Troop 101
29 - CA Blind Academy

October 6 - Spanish American War Vets
13 - Cripple Children's Home
20 - Wernersville State Hospital
27 - Girl Scout Troop 353

November 3 - VD Clinic Post #3
10 - Sacramento Boys Choir
17 - Korean Amputees

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 9 - Utopia Gay Mens Polo Club

RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR
1). When playing polio patients, Raiders must not disconnect knee braces.
2). When playing the blind academy, Raiders must not hide the football under their jerseys.

RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR
1). A touchdown ( this is when the ball is carried over the goal line (for all us Raiders fans that have never seen this one) is still worth 6 points.
2). The Raiders will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3). The Raiders will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime during the course of the game.
4) The Raiders will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 2 for the opposing team.
5) The Raiders will be awarded a first down with each gain of 3 yards or more.

COACHING CHANGES
Norv Turner will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She no doubt will blow a few, but she won't choke on the big ones.

CHIEF4EVER
01-26-2005, 12:22 PM
Judging by that schedule the Fade will go 0-11 and wind up with the 1st overall pick in the draft.