Who is the most idiotic person you have ever met?

[WebGem]

Share some stories. :D

[|Zach|]

There is a girl in one of my classes that tried to convince me that insurance fraud did not raise insurance premiums.

[Taco John]

I knew a guy who liked to karate kick light switches on and off...

[Phobia]

I knew a guy who liked to karate kick light switches on and off...

He was awesome on Walker, Texas Ranger.

I'm pretty much the biggest idiot I've ever me. Swear.

[DenverChief]

There is a girl in one of my classes that tried to convince me that insurance fraud did not raise insurance premiums.
ROFL

Did you tell her that unsafe sex actually prevents the spread of HIV? :p

[Spicy McHaggis]

A girl in one of my classes thought that my Kansas Bar Association legal pad was the official paper for the drinking establishments of the Sunflower State.

[teedubya]

its a toss-up between David. and SaulLargeGuy.

[KCWolfman]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.

[Phobia]

My ex-wife, seriously.

There are probably people on ChiefsPlanet who dread reading any thread about ex-wives because I can be found one-upping every story. That's because my ex-wife is incredibly special.

But, in this case I can't compete. Russ, I'm in awe. That bitch is so dumb, I can't even come up with a story about mine that comes close. So I'll leave you with the story about the time she called me a stupid fathead:

Once she called me "Stupid..... FAThead".

[KCWolfman]

There are probably people on ChiefsPlanet who dread reading any thread about ex-wives because I can be found one-upping every story. That's because my ex-wife is incredibly special.

But, in this case I can't compete. Russ, I'm in awe. That bitch is so dumb, I can't even come up with a story about mine that comes close. So I'll leave you with the story about the time she called me a stupid fathead:

Once she called me "Stupid..... FAThead".
I do have a fathead. I will have to watch for that.

Phil, she was truly the most idiotic person I had ever met in my life - complete with giggle to get her through most situations. But a family sitting on 4-6 million bucks and 6 furniture stores will make a 19 year old horny kid overlook an awful lot.

[Phobia]

I do have a fathead. I will have to watch for that.

Phil, she was truly the most idiotic person I had ever met in my life - complete with giggle to get her through most situations. But a family sitting on 4-6 million bucks and 6 furniture stores will make a 19 year old horny kid overlook an awful lot.

Stop kicking yourself. Mine didn't even have money.

[LTownChief]

I used to work with a white, skinny, methed-out dishwasher who tried to rap all the time and hit on all the girls. This guy was incredibly ugly with hardly any teeth. I once walked by him and he was bundling up the trash at work and he said "yo, check out this rhyme:
"I'm taking out this trash,
I'm all wet,
I'm doing dishes!
and I don't know the alphabet!"

he is one of the most idiotic people I've met.

[KCWolfman]

I used to work with a white, skinny, methed-out dishwasher who tried to rap all the time and hit on all the girls. This guy was incredibly ugly with hardly any teeth. I once walked by him and he was bundling up the trash at work and he said "yo, check out this rhyme:
"I'm taking out this trash,
I'm all wet,
I'm doing dishes!
and I don't know the alphabet!"

he is one of the most idiotic people I've met.
You sure it wasn't Jamie Kennedy in disguise?

[KCWolfman]

Stop kicking yourself. Mine didn't even have money.
The money is gone and we are both left with the same thing - a bad life experience.

[Nzoner]

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.

Didn't you also tell me about some dumbass you met that tried to convince you the NFL was fixed? :)

[KCWolfman]

Didn't you also tell me about some dumbass you met that tried to convince you the NFL was fixed? :)
That conversation is still continued at our dinner table.

BTW - When is your next trip down? I have your book and another to give as a present for letting me hold this one for so long.

[Nzoner]

That conversation is still continued at our dinner table.

BTW - When is your next trip down? I have your book and another to give as a present for letting me hold this one for so long.

I was there all day yesterday and was going to call you,however,it was Valentine's Day and you know where I'm going with this.

[Phobia]

The money is gone and we are both left with the same thing - a bad life experience.

A bad?

Did you mean a series of consecutive bad life experiences? ;)

[Nzoner]

That conversation is still continued at our dinner table.

The "Joe's a dumbass and smoked one too many bongs" conversation? :bong:

[Digital Takawira]

i met this raiders fan......


thats it.

[mcan]

I worked at a guitar store that sold used CDs...


Two construction worker types come in kinda laughing and generally making sure that everyone knows their testosterone count is higher than average... They browse the CDs for awhile...

"Hey buddy..."
So I walk over to help em out..
"You got any of those CDs with lots of people on em?"
Often times when I get asked a question like this, I really know what people mean,but I pretend not to, just to mess with em, but I'm totally at a loss. -"I'm not really sure what you mean. Like an album with guest artists on it? I think we have a couple copies of 'Supernatural' in there..."
"Uhh, no man, like lots of different people on the same album."
-"Oh, you mean a compilation album."
"A what?"
-"Like a 'super seventies' type of album or something, when there are songs from different bands on one CD?"
"Yeah, like that."
-"I think we have a couple compilations in there, not too many though."

The two laugh and laugh, and snicker back and forth kinda repeating the word "compilation" and moching me a bit... I swear to God, these two were making fun of me, because they didn't know what the word I used meant!

:shake:

[siberian khatru]

I worked at a guitar store that sold used CDs...


Two construction worker types come in kinda laughing and generally making sure that everyone knows their testosterone count is higher than average... They browse the CDs for awhile...

"Hey buddy..."
So I walk over to help em out..
"You got any of those CDs with lots of people on em?"
Often times when I get asked a question like this, I really know what people mean,but I pretend not to, just to mess with em, but I'm totally at a loss. -"I'm not really sure what you mean. Like an album with guest artists on it? I think we have a couple copies of 'Supernatural' in there..."
"Uhh, no man, like lots of different people on the same album."
-"Oh, you mean a compilation album."
"A what?"
-"Like a 'super seventies' type of album or something, when there are songs from different bands on one CD?"
"Yeah, like that."
-"I think we have a couple compilations in there, not too many though."

The two laugh and laugh, and snicker back and forth kinda repeating the word "compilation" and moching me a bit... I swear to God, these two were making fun of me, because they didn't know what the word I used meant!

:shake:


College boy.

[Radar Chief]

I used to have a good friend that wasn’t necessarily an idiot, he just had a propensity to do idiotic things. The last one, try’n to make a bigger firecracker by grinding sparklers into dust as fuel for his “bigger bang”, got him killed.
But this one time, he’s remodeling a rental house for his boss and had finished all the sheet rocking, taping and mudding, upstairs when he noticed a nail in the top part of the wall directly in front of the staircase that he’d missed. Not wanting to screw up his sheet rock he stands on a chair at the top of the staircase with a claw hammer pulling, not prying, on this nail.
Well, he finally exerts enough energy that the nail suddenly gives up it’s grip and the hammer comes back and smacks him right in the center of his forehead, knocking him momentarily unconscious and off the chair. It’s by pure luck that he didn’t tumble right down the stairs and break his fool neck.

[Eleazar]

I used to have a good friend that wasn’t necessarily an idiot, he just had a propensity to do idiotic things. The last one, try’n to make a bigger firecracker by grinding sparklers into dust as fuel for his “bigger bang”, got him killed.

:eek: for real?

[Radar Chief]

:eek: for real?

Yup. It’ll be 10 years ago this 4th of July.

[Amnorix]

I don't really have any funny stories to go with it, but my sister-in-law has a stunning combination of no knowledge about anything, no ability to comprehend an issue (much less analyze or solve a problem), and a complete lack of common sense.

She also doesn't have any kind of braking mechanism between her brain and her mouth. If she thinks it, she says it. Which, of course, results in her having the social grace of a poorly trained 4 year old.

:shake:

And just so you think I'm not saying all this because I hate her, I'll note that I formed these opinions before I met her sister, whom I married. My wife and in-laws are great, with this one little exception...

[Skip Towne]

I don't really have any funny stories to go with it, but my sister-in-law has a stunning combination of no knowledge about anything, no ability to comprehend an issue (much less analyze or solve a problem), and a complete lack of common sense.

She also doesn't have any kind of braking mechanism between her brain and her mouth. If she thinks it, she says it. Which, of course, results in her having the social grace of a poorly trained 4 year old.

:shake:

And just so you think I'm not saying all this because I hate her, I'll note that I formed these opinions before I met her sister, whom I married. My wife and in-laws are great, with this one little exception...
She sounds like a good match for SDChiefsfan.

[KcMizzou]

I meet some good ones at work.

"What time do you close?"

"We're open 24/7"

"All day?"

:hmmm:

[Amnorix]

She sounds like a good match for SDChiefsfan.

Does he also like short women with a complexion problem? If so, it's a match made in heaven.

Seriously, though, at the ripe age of 32 she finally found someone willing to date her and he ended up marrying her. He seems like a normal, well-adjusted guy who is neither stupid nor insane. I therefore honestly can't imagine WTF he is thinking marrying her...

[Fat Elvis]

She sounds like a good match for SDChiefsfan.

Same person, prolly.....

[slivo6]

I once met Jason Whitlock. He said he was a sports columnist and a radio talk show host. That really cracked me up.

[Dartgod]

I've ran across a few working behind an auto parts counter for 17 years. Two that stand out in my mind.

A guy comes in wanting to buy a starter for his car. I'm asking questions to make sure that's what he needs to fix his problem. Turns out the starter is working just fine, spinning the engine over like it should. But the car won't start, so he thinks the problem must be the starter. It turned out to be a fuel pump or something.

Another time I worked at a store that sold auto paint. This guy comes in, he had bought a gallon of paint the week before, and is complaining that the paint we sold him is defective. He has the car outside, so we go out to look at it. Now any of you that have painted cars, or any large object for that matter, probably realize that when painting, you try to keep the paint gun a consistant distance from the surface and NOT move the gun in an arcing motion. This car had THE WORST paint job on it I've ever seen. There were patches of dry looking areas where the gun was too far away and areas that had huge runs where he had the gun too close. He had painted over the chrome trim, door handles, mirrors, and had painted part of the tires when he was spraying around the fender wells. And he thought it was like this because the paint was "defective".

[Donger]

I once convinced a girl that the stop signs with white lines around the perimeter were optional.

She figured it out after the second ticket.

[Otter]

When I was out in Pittsburg I used to date a girl that would constantly get buses and planes mixed up.

No shit! After breaks she would call and say "pick me up at the airport" and she would be at the bus station or visa versa. Eventually I learned the right series of questions to ask.

There's too many to mention but that one always perplexed me the most.

[KcMizzou]

I've ran across a few working behind an auto parts counter for 17 years. Two that stand out in my mind. I had no idea you were a parts guy. So am I.

I had a guy call not long ago with an '82 Brigadere. He wanted "the part on the left hand side of the engine at about eye level." I shit you not. I told him I didn't know if he was 4' 7" or 7' 4".

He was calling from Denver, on a Sunday. He went on to tell us he couldn't wait till Monday so that someone local could look at it... yet the truck hadn't been started in 12 years.

I'm sure we could trade stories all day.

[morphius]

I met a cousin of an acquantence once, by far the stupidest person I have ever met. I literally insulted everything the guy said for an hour and half, and he never knew it. His cousin just sat their shaking his head. I have blocked out most of the conversation, but I remember his big dream in life seemed to be finding a broken down car on the side of the road that he could sit in so he could pretend to drive it and how cool that it would be. The kid was already 16 if that says anything.

Have to wonder if him and Russ's ex could have made a good couple.

[Bwana]

When I was out in Pittsburg I used to date a girl that would constantly get buses and planes mixed up.

No shit! After breaks she would call and say "pick me up at the airport" and she would be at the bus station or visa versa. Eventually I learned the right series of questions to ask.

There's too many to mention but that one always perplexed me the most.

Classic! I hope she was at least a decent poke? ROFL

I would have to go with the Ditch Pig I sold the automatic Honda to that thought "first gear was for town, second gear was for the highway, third gear was for going over 100 and wasn't sure what 4th gear was for." She then went out on the highway and went several miles in second gear red lined, and blew up the car. As a bonus, she sent her lawyer after me because "I sold her a bad car." :hmmm:

[Baby Lee]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.
Is this chicken, what I have, or fish?

[Radar Chief]

I had no idea you were a parts guy. So am I.

I had a guy call not long ago with an '82 Brigadere. He wanted "the part on the left hand side of the engine at about eye level." I shit you not. I told him I didn't know if he was 4' 7" or 7' 4".

He was calling from Denver, on a Sunday. He went on to tell us he couldn't wait till Monday so that someone local could look at it... yet the truck hadn't been started in 12 years.

I'm sure we could trade stories all day.

Although I’ve never been on that side of the parts store counter, I’ve got a couple stories from the other side of it.
Once had a guy argue with me for 20 minutes over what I was just under the hood looking at. For some, if it doesn’t show up on their computer screen it doesn’t exist.
After leaving in frustration, went to another parts store and got the top end gasket kit I needed minus the arguing.
Another time, I was changing u-joints and got tired of having to barrow a press from a friend’s dad so I wanted to get one of my own. Went into the parts store looking for one and had the dumbass behind the counter laugh me out of the store because he didn’t think one existed, “I just use a hammer and chisel to get’em out”. :rolleyes:

[Dartgod]

I had no idea you were a parts guy. So am I.
Used to be. I got out a few years ago and went to college and got an IT job. Opened my eyes to a whole new world of idiots.

Yeah we could swap stories, I'm sure. My favorite exchange:

"What engine does that have?"
"The big one."

:rolleyes:

[Bwana]

Used to be. I got out a few years ago and went to college and got an IT job. Opened my eyes to a whole new world of idiots.

Yeah we could swap stories, I'm sure. My favorite exchange:

"What engine does that have?"
"The big one."

:rolleyes:

Yeah but did you guys ever have any good deals on muffler bearings or blinker fluid? :hmmm:

[KcMizzou]

Although I’ve never been on that side of the parts store counter, I’ve got a couple stories from the other side of it.
Once had a guy argue with me for 20 minutes over what I was just under the hood looking at. For some, if it doesn’t show up on their computer screen it doesn’t exist.
After leaving in frustration, went to another parts store and got the top end gasket kit I needed minus the arguing.
Another time, I was changing u-joints and got tired of having to barrow a press from a friend’s dad so I wanted to get one of my own. Went into the parts store looking for one and had the dumbass behind the counter laugh me out of the store because he didn’t think one existed, “I just use a hammer and chisel to get’em out”. :rolleyes: Oh yeah, it goes both ways... no doubt.

[Dartgod]

Once had a guy argue with me for 20 minutes over what I was just under the hood looking at. For some, if it doesn’t show up on their computer screen it doesn’t exist.
Part of the reason I got out of the business. I learned by opening a catalog and looking up the parts, cross referencing part numbers or sometimes just matching them up by comparison.

Now the stores just hire high school idiots that ask the questions that the computer prompts them to. If you don't follow their "script", expect a blank stare from them. :banghead:

[Radar Chief]

Part of the reason I got out of the business. I learned by opening a catalog and looking up the parts, cross referencing part numbers or sometimes just matching them up by comparison.

Now the stores just hire high school idiots that ask the questions that the computer prompts them to. If you don't follow their "script", expect a blank stare from them. :banghead:

That is no shit, but ya learn who the good ones are and when they aren’t in I just leave.
I like to tinker with mechanical type stuff as a stress relief, no sense messing up that formula by dealing with idiots.

[KcMizzou]

Part of the reason I got out of the business. I learned by opening a catalog and looking up the parts, cross referencing part numbers or sometimes just matching them up by comparison.

Now the stores just hire high school idiots that ask the questions that the computer prompts them to. If you don't follow their "script", expect a blank stare from them. :banghead: Part of it is the way inventory is handled. We have a 60,000 square foot warehouse... with parts for GMC, Cummins, Mack, Volvo, Cat, Detroit, Ottawa, and several vendors like Truck Lite and Grote.

All that inventory is just randomly stuffed into shelves and drawers. It's impossible to match things up. It makes no sense, but for some reason that's how they do it.

As for the books... we're the only ones in KC who have books on the old Brigs and Generals anymore. From what I understand, you cant buy them. Volvo bought the parts rights from GMC...

They're not in the computers, and yeah... they're a bitch to find parts for...

[Rain Man]

There are different types of idiots. (It would be a good project to classify them, now that I think of it.)

A couple that spring to mind are:

1. The natural-born idiot. This is someone who was just born stupid and can't help it. When I was about 12, I would buy loose football cards at our local version of Wal-Mart. They were at some sort of counter that wasn't the checkout stand, and the woman who worked there was a natural-born idiot. The cards were two for a penny, and no matter how many I bought, she would ring up some random amount of money for anywhere from one cent to a dollar. There was never a pattern at all, and she'd get really nasty if I tried to explain the math to her. I finally just gave up and assumed that the costs would even out over the long run, so I just paid whatever number she rang up.


2. The socially hilarious idiot. There was this guy in my undergrad school who was often entertaining. He was American, but apparently of Italian background, because he had an Italian name and appearance, which really set him apart in Rolla. He had a thing for the ladies and was always trying to impress them, and he usually did just the opposite. The funniest little incident happened one time in the student lounge. He saw some ladies that he liked over near the pool tables, so he sauntered over, coolly flung his backpack onto the table nearest them, and did a nice little twisting jump to sit on the edge of the table facing them. Unfortunately, he never noticed the two guys three feet away who were in the middle of a game on the table, and they offered up a less-than-friendly reaction as his backpack went scraping through the balls. I also remember his Kung Fu demonstration during our Tae Kwan Do class, which was intended to impress the very worthy Sabrina but which drew guffaws from everyone but an irritated teacher.

[Dartgod]

Yeah but did you guys ever have any good deals on muffler bearings or blinker fluid? :hmmm:
No, but we did have this one dumbass parts driver that we messed with on a daily basis. Sent him on snipe hunt once looking for a "shelf stretcher." This same mental midget would never lock his personal car. So whenever we sent him on a parts run, we'd go out and f*ck with his car in some way. We did lots of shit to him, disconnected the shift linkage from the steering column, put the rear wheels up on jack stands so they barely cleared the ground, tied shit to his back bumper so he'd drag it behind him when he left, moved the car across the street and put a For Sale sign on it, etc. The best one was when I got under his hood and ran a jumper wire from his horn to his right turn signal wire. He had to turn right when leaving at the end of the day. You can guess how that went...

HONK....HONK....HONK....HONK......

Funny thing was, he didn't make the connection. We are in the store, laughing our asses off and the next day he comes in telling us his horn was messed up. I told him I could fix and pulled the wire off. Told him it was a short. He never had a clue we were f*cking with him.

[milkman]

I was at a fast food joint a couple weeks ago, and of course the idiot behind the counter couldn't figure out how much change to give back on a 5.00 bill for a 4.99 purchase, because she accidentally punched in 500.00.

[Bwana]

No, but we did have this one dumbass parts driver that we messed with on a daily basis. Sent him on snipe hunt once looking for a "shelf stretcher." This same mental midget would never lock his personal car. So whenever we sent him on a parts run, we'd go out and f*ck with his car in some way. We did lots of shit to him, disconnected the shift linkage from the steering column, put the rear wheels up on jack stands so they barely cleared the ground, tied shit to his back bumper so he'd drag it behind him when he left, moved the car across the street and put a For Sale sign on it, etc. The best one was when I got under his hood and ran a jumper wire from his horn to his right turn signal wire. He had to turn right when leaving at the end of the day. You can guess how that went...

HONK....HONK....HONK....HONK......

Funny thing was, he didn't make the connection. We are in the store, laughing our asses off and the next day he comes in telling us his horn was messed up. I told him I could fix and pulled the wire off. Told him it was a short. He never had a clue we were f*cking with him.

Oh, that's golden. ROFL

[HemiEd]

Denver fans...

[Dartgod]

Denver fans...
What's your mom got to do with this?

[HemiEd]

What's your mom got to do with this?
ROFL

[Saulbadguy]

No, but we did have this one dumbass parts driver that we messed with on a daily basis. Sent him on snipe hunt once looking for a "shelf stretcher." This same mental midget would never lock his personal car. So whenever we sent him on a parts run, we'd go out and f*ck with his car in some way. We did lots of shit to him, disconnected the shift linkage from the steering column, put the rear wheels up on jack stands so they barely cleared the ground, tied shit to his back bumper so he'd drag it behind him when he left, moved the car across the street and put a For Sale sign on it, etc. The best one was when I got under his hood and ran a jumper wire from his horn to his right turn signal wire. He had to turn right when leaving at the end of the day. You can guess how that went...

HONK....HONK....HONK....HONK......

Funny thing was, he didn't make the connection. We are in the store, laughing our asses off and the next day he comes in telling us his horn was messed up. I told him I could fix and pulled the wire off. Told him it was a short. He never had a clue we were f*cking with him.
ROFL

Should have hooked it up to his brakes somehow. Think about it..sitting at the stoplight...HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKk.

[Skip Towne]

I used to go to this website called Chiefs Planet. Man, that place was full of idiots.

[Saulbadguy]

I worked retail for awhile, in a store called "batteries plus". They sell Batteries, believe it or not.

Anyways, a guy comes in and buys a car battery. He claims its for a generator. Anyways, he buys it, and then sets it on the counter and starts to screw on this clamp or something. As he is tightening it with his ratchet, he arcs it over. Boom. The lead from the terminals got everywhere.

He then asked for a new one, I said no, and he calmly walks out of the store and leaves.

[yunghungwell]

A guy comes in wanting to buy a starter for his car. I'm asking questions to make sure that's what he needs to fix his problem. Turns out the starter is working just fine, spinning the engine over like it should. But the car won't start, so he thinks the problem must be the starter. It turned out to be a fuel pump or something.


A guy that we used to ride motorcycles with used to own a motorcycle repair shop. So, some dude comes in wanting his bike "re-jetted because it won't run right". My buddy asks him if he has checked to see if there is gas in the bike and the guy insist that the bike has plenty of gas. Guy leaves, buddy fills bike with gas, bike runs fine, buddy charges guy $100. Dumbass! :shake:

No, but we did have this one dumbass parts driver that we messed with on a daily basis. Sent him on snipe hunt once looking for a "shelf stretcher." This same mental midget would never lock his personal car. So whenever we sent him on a parts run, we'd go out and f*ck with his car in some way. We did lots of shit to him, disconnected the shift linkage from the steering column, put the rear wheels up on jack stands so they barely cleared the ground, tied shit to his back bumper so he'd drag it behind him when he left, moved the car across the street and put a For Sale sign on it, etc. The best one was when I got under his hood and ran a jumper wire from his horn to his right turn signal wire. He had to turn right when leaving at the end of the day. You can guess how that went...

Here is one you can try. Take a long zip-ty and tie it around the drive shaft so that the tag end of it come in contact with the body or frame on each revolution of the drive shaft. People will look for the rattle for days.

[shaneo69]

-"Oh, you mean a compilation album."
"A what?"
-"Like a 'super seventies' type of album or something, when there are songs from different bands on one CD?"
"Yeah, like that."
-"I think we have a couple compilations in there, not too many though."

The two laugh and laugh, and snicker back and forth kinda repeating the word "compilation" and moching me a bit... I swear to God, these two were making fun of me, because they didn't know what the word I used meant!

:shake:

They apparently thought "compilation" meant copulation.

[NewChief]

Had to be a guy at a remote Arkansas swimming hole.

We were all camping there, swimming and drinking, when some locals came down to escape the heat of an Arkansas summer. Being the accomodating folks that we are, we shared some beers and snuff with them. Once beer starts getting shared, Arkansas hillfolks are notorious for overstaying their welcome. These were no exception.

Anyway, they proceeded to get pretty well lit and make crude passes at the ladies we had with us, but we were all entertained and still enjoying ourselves...until the snakes showed up.

Someone spotted a couple of baby copperheads while they were going to take a leak. One of the hillbillies proceeded to imitate Steve Irwin (minus a few teeth) and tell us how baby copperheads aren't really that venomous. Then he moved from Steve Irwin to Patricia McConnell and declared the baby snakes were his "pets." He got bit probably 20 times as he showed his pets off to the rest of us, encouraging us to hold them too: an offer we politely, but firmly, declined.

Eventually this guy put the snakes into a mason jar to take home with him. Shortly after he stopped feeling so well, and we encouraged his buddies to get him to a hospital. That was the last we saw of them until...


Same swimming hole, same scene, a summer later. Same hillbillies show up, minus one. We all hated to ask them what had become of the Snake charmer, but we eventually did. Turns out he didn't actually die. His arm just swelled up to the size of a watermelon and he nearly lost some fingers.

That's a moron.

[Radar Chief]

I've recently started watching that show... and found that I enjoy it. Should I be ashamed of this?

I get it now :doh!: , “but it’s called chicken of the sea”. ROFL

[Dartgod]

Had to be a guy at a remote Arkansas swimming hole.
So what is Skip like in person?

[Skip Towne]

So what is Skip like in person?
Couldn't have been me. I'm an Okie.

[Radar Chief]

Had to be a guy at a remote Arkansas swimming hole.

We were all camping there, swimming and drinking, when some locals came down to escape the heat of an Arkansas summer. Being the accomodating folks that we are, we shared some beers and snuff with them. Once beer starts getting shared, Arkansas hillfolks are notorious for overstaying their welcome. These were no exception.

Anyway, they proceeded to get pretty well lit and make crude passes at the ladies we had with us, but we were all entertained and still enjoying ourselves...until the snakes showed up.

Someone spotted a couple of baby copperheads while they were going to take a leak. One of the hillbillies proceeded to imitate Steve Irwin (minus a few teeth) and tell us how baby copperheads aren't really that venomous. Then he moved from Steve Irwin to Patricia McConnell and declared the baby snakes were his "pets." He got bit probably 20 times as he showed his pets off to the rest of us, encouraging us to hold them too: an offer we politely, but firmly, declined.

Eventually this guy put the snakes into a mason jar to take home with him. Shortly after he stopped feeling so well, and we encouraged his buddies to get him to a hospital. That was the last we saw of them until...


Same swimming hole, same scene, a summer later. Same hillbillies show up, minus one. We all hated to ask them what had become of the Snake charmer, but we eventually did. Turns out he didn't actually die. His arm just swelled up to the size of a watermelon and he nearly lost some fingers.

That's a moron.

:LOL:

I’ve got a friend that used to catch wild skunks and keep’em as pets.
When he’d see a wild skunk he’d take a run at it and would grab’em by the tail. Supposedly if you hold them up by the tail they can’t flex the muscles necessary to spray.
He took great joy in freak’n people out with this stunt and when I shot him a stupid look for it he said, “but I’ve only been sprayed twice” and my reply was, “that’s twice too many”.

[shaneo69]

Sorry, this is long....

One of my college roommates (Jeff) was the biggest idiot I've ever known. There were three of us in the townhouse, which had one master bedroom, two smaller bedrooms, and two parking spots. We all agreed on a move-in date, but when me and the other roommate (Mike) get to the apartment, we find that Jeff had arrived the day before to claim the master bedroom and move all his stuff in there. Okay, no problem.

When the semester started, we noticed that he would always end up with one of the parking spots for his manly VW GTI which had "THUMPR" on the license plates. So either me or Mike were always forced to park on the street when we got home from our restaurant jobs (Jeff didn't have to work because his parents paid all his bills). When we didn't have to work, he would actually leave his afternoon class at the break in the middle of class so he could get one of the parking spots.

We were all 21 at this point, but Jeff had a 16 year old girlfriend back home in HS that he would call every night. He'd say he was going up to his room to study or do homework, but when we'd pick up the phone downstairs to make a call, he'd be on the other line and yell, "I'm on the phone!!" We'd get our phone bill, and it would be like $350 per month (this is before cell phones). Then he'd try and deny some of phone numbers listed on the bill were his calls, so we'd actually have to call the numbers to find out who they were, and of course, they were always his and he'd play dumb.

We usually had MTV on in the living room, and if Marky Mark's "Sweet Sensation" or one of Mariah Carey's songs with the kids in the video would come on, he'd come running downstairs and start dancing in front of the TV, actually trying to perfect the dance steps from the videos.

If we were at a bar and were trying to pay the bill at the end of the night, we'd ask how many beers we each had, and Jeff would look up at the ceiling like he was trying to remember, and he'd start counting on his fingers, getting up to about 6 fingers, and then say, "I had 3 beers."

One time he got drunk and puked at the apartment, so we made him clean it up, which he did. About three days later, he starts telling me that one of our bathrooms stinks because I haven't washed my towels. I'm like, no I just washed them. So another day goes by and the stench gets worse, so me and my other roommate Mike look behind the door in the bathroom, and we find his towel that he used to clean up his puke, but that he never washed.

This was all in one semester, from January to May of 1991. Me and Mike moved out for the summer semester and I haven't seen idiot Jeff since then. But Mike got him back just before we moved out. For the Kentucky Derby, Mike was going with some relatives to an off-track betting parlor. Jeff gave him $50 to bet on a horse that he liked. Me and Jeff watch the derby, his horse wins, and he calls his dad and girlfriend, all excited because he just won about $500. Mike comes home that night, gives Jeff his $50 back, and says, sorry, man, I didn't get your bet in. It was hilarious, Jeff starts threatening to get a lawyer, and Mike was able to keep a straight face through the whole conflict that ensued.

Good times...

[badgirl]

I know so many its hard to pick one.

[Amnorix]

Sorry, this is long....

Sounds more like an A-hole than an idiot...

[badgirl]

Sounds more like an A-hole than an idiot...
A-Holes yea I know some of them too. :thumb: unfortunately :rolleyes:

[CosmicPal]

A buddy of mine- he's not an idiot, but like most people- he becomes one when he's drunk.

Fourth of July, we're both 17 and heading for a party. I'm driving, and I've got my car loaded with fireworks. My buddy is pulling from a bottle of grain alcohol and burning a joint. We're on Metcalf in the middle of the day. Anyways, I've got the air going and our windows are cracked a little bit to let the smoke escape.

Well, Bobby gets the bright idea of shooting off fireworks out the window. I told him it wasn't such a good idea, but the more grain alcohol he drank the more he persisted. By the time the bottle was done and we were only a few blocks from the party, I told him he could fire off one, but to MAKE SURE YOUR WINDOW IS ALL THE WAY DOWN.

Before I knew it, he had grabbed a full brick of firecrackers, spent several minutes drunkenly unraveling the paper and then lit the damn thing- all before rolling down the window! Before I could blink, my car is suddenly engulfed in smoke and thousands of sparks- the noise was absolutely thunderous! I slammed on my brakes in the middle of Metcalf and we both ditched the car while the brick of firecrackers continued to exploded in a frenzy. Smoke was billowing out of my car as though it had been set on fire. Bobby is rolling around on Metcalf laughing hysterically. After a few minutes, the last of the firecrackers blew, and we hopped into the car and proceeded to the party while the rest of Metcalf all stood around stunned.

[WilliamTheIrish]

I work in hospital... you want to hear the stories of what people try on themselves, or what they try on others?

OK I'll start with this one. 4th of July 01. Man in central Topeka decides he's going to scare the shiot outta his buddies by igniting a bird bomb in which he has crudely attatched a fuse.

While lighting said fuse he fails to take into account that he has a similair crude bomb in his other hand. He lights fuse to bird bomb which he has placed on the ground. As he prepares to "Get Away", a spark jumps over from the fuse to the bomb in his other hand.
Blammo!!! Right hand disintegrates. Gone.

He walked (quickly) 4 city blocks with his -stump- wrapped in his T-shirt to the hospital before passing out in the triage area.

I'll never forget the words of the ER triage nurse:

"We'll need images of that hand."

"What hand?"

[BigMeatballDave]

I knew a guy who liked to karate kick light switches on and off...ROFL A guy I used to work with used to do that when he put casting in his lathe...

[go bo]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.now that you're done with her, is she available?

[go bo]

The money is gone and we are both left with the same thing - a bad life experience.what, did she keep buying new cars to get a warm key or something?

[KCTitus]

Used to be. I got out a few years ago and went to college and got an IT job. Opened my eyes to a whole new world of idiots.

It's simply stunning isnt it?

[chiefs4me]

I know a guy who rear-ended a city bus because he was trying to flip off a Bronco fan in the next lane.




You should call that man a hero....:thumb:

[Phobia]

I know a guy who rear-ended a city bus because he was trying to flip off a Bronco fan in the next lane.

Which idiot was that? I know he's from down your way, but I forgot his handle. Have you really met him?

[HemiEd]

I just recalled one after giving this some legitimate thought. I inherited a Part Store customer that was going broke. He was low on inventory, on COD with his suppliers and was close to going out of business. Upon a little investigation I found two reasons.
1) He had given a key to his store to many of the people in his little town so they could help themselves in an emergency, honor system.
2) Very math illiterate, he thought that if he marked up a starter thirty cents, he was marking it up 30%,
It was too late to save his business, too deep of a hole.

[Iowanian]

On the Internet?

There is this clown on Orangemange named after an arachnid, who is so ugly and dumb, He tried breast feeding as a baby and his mama said "Oh I'm sorry, I just wanna be friends"

[Thig Lyfe]

One word: Commatard

(not that I've actually met this person in real life)

[Ultra Peanut]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.Okay, Nick.

[JazzzLovr]

Didn't you also tell me about some dumbass you met that tried to convince you the NFL was fixed? :)

ROFL I know that guy!!!





Rep.

[Spott]

Who is the most idiotic person you've ever met?

I can't remember, but I'm sure he had to be a Raider fan.

[JazzzLovr]

I know a guy who rear-ended a city bus because he was trying to flip off a Bronco fan in the next lane.

ROFL!!!

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Jones... his name was Jones. A girl's name to be sure.

[JazzzLovr]

Jones... his name was Jones. A girl's name to be sure.

:D

[PastorMikH]

I like to tinker with mechanical type stuff as a stress relief,



That's odd, tinkering with mechanical stuff always seems to induce stress for me. You know how hard it is to fix something after you beat it to death with a hammer?


:)

[JazzzLovr]

That's odd, tinkering with mechanical stuff always seems to induce stress for me. You know how hard it is to fix something after you beat it to death with a hammer?


:)

:LOL:

[2002SBraiders]

all the Chiefs fans on this boards

[Inspector]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.

ROFL ROFL
My first wife asked me if Mount Rushmore was carved. She was totally serious. I told her it was wind erosion and she bought it.

I never did tell her the truth.

[Pants]

all the Chiefs fans on this boards

Is that I knew idea? I'm sure you meant "this board". Seriously, how did you ever figure out how to use a computer?

[1981Raiders]

The most idiotic person i've meet has got to be Priest Holmes.

[Pants]

The most idiotic person i've meet has got to be Priest Holmes.

Except for the fact that you never met him. I'm sure you meant "met".

[BigVE]

I had a buddy that took his new wife out on the lake with an inflatable boat. They were rowing along nicely and he noticed that there was some water in the bottom of the boat, he noticed that there was a drain plug in the bottom of the boat so logically he pulled the plug to drain the water out of the boat! His wife could have passed for a floatation device but nevertheless she wasnt a good swimmer so she stared screaming as the boat was sinking. The lake patrol had to come help them. I doubt if they have ever been back to the lake.

[JazzzLovr]

The most idiotic person i've meet has got to be Priest Holmes.

Are you kidding me? When it was 7 degrees outside, he was in the press box with a heater and a nice big platter of hot nachos. That's one smart dude. It was ****ing cold out there!




:p

[BigVE]

From a faider fans perspective Priest was pretty ignorant for not sticking around in Baltimore and helping J Lewis complete a few drug deals while lighting up a fatty like the typical faider fan/player would.

[1981Raiders]

From a faider fans perspective Priest was pretty ignorant for not sticking around in Baltimore and helping J Lewis complete a few drug deals while lighting up a fatty like the typical faider fan/player would.

You are so right. :clap:

[Pants]

On CP? Right now it's between the new raiders retarTs and chiefs4me.

[1981Raiders]

On CP? Right now it's between the new raiders retarTs and chiefs4me.

who's chiefs4me? he sounds like a great guy

[Rain Man]

This person wasn't an idiot, but it was an idiotic moment. She and I worked together and we were going out to lunch. It was just the two of us in the car.

Somehow we started talking about a coworker whose name, like mine, was Kevin. She said, "Did you know that his first name is really John? His middle name is Kevin."

I said I didn't know that. Then I commented that he was a smart person to use his more desirable middle name.

She then said, "I don't know. John's not a great name, but it's sure the h*** better than Kevin. I mean, really, that name just sucks. If you had a choice between John and Kevin, wouldn't you go by Jo-" Then all of a sudden, she remembered my name and slammed her mouth to a stop.

I had to laugh. I'm like, there are only two people in this car, and one of them is you. Can you really not remember both names?

[JazzzLovr]

I'm like, there are only two people in this car, and one of them is you. Can you really not remember both names?

:LOL:

[|Zach|]

This person wasn't an idiot, but it was an idiotic moment. She and I worked together and we were going out to lunch. It was just the two of us in the car.

Somehow we started talking about a coworker whose name, like mine, was Kevin. She said, "Did you know that his first name is really John? His middle name is Kevin."

I said I didn't know that. Then I commented that he was a smart person to use his more desirable middle name.

She then said, "I don't know. John's not a great name, but it's sure the h*** better than Kevin. I mean, really, that name just sucks. If you had a choice between John and Kevin, wouldn't you go by Jo-" Then all of a sudden, she remembered my name and slammed her mouth to a stop.

I had to laugh. I'm like, there are only two people in this car, and one of them is you. Can you really not remember both names?
You want that Rain Man sig pic?

[1981Raiders]

This person wasn't an idiot, but it was an idiotic moment. She and I worked together and we were going out to lunch. It was just the two of us in the car.

Somehow we started talking about a coworker whose name, like mine, was Kevin. She said, "Did you know that his first name is really John? His middle name is Kevin."

I said I didn't know that. Then I commented that he was a smart person to use his more desirable middle name.

She then said, "I don't know. John's not a great name, but it's sure the h*** better than Kevin. I mean, really, that name just sucks. If you had a choice between John and Kevin, wouldn't you go by Jo-" Then all of a sudden, she remembered my name and slammed her mouth to a stop.

I had to laugh. I'm like, there are only two people in this car, and one of them is you. Can you really not remember both names?

Wow that is pretty idiotic.

[Pants]

Dumb bitch. Besides, Kevin is a great name. She was stupid on 3 accounts:

1 - didn't remeber your name
2 - thought the name Kevin was bad
3 - thought the name John was better

Yeah, since there are like 43 million Johns in U.S. alone.

[PastorMikH]

Had a neighbor when I lived up by Kansas City who's son was pretty bright. We were unloading a truck full of wood. The neighbor was over at the woodpile and me and his teenage son were throwing the wood out of the truck. I ripped off a fair amount of gas. He stands up, looks around and asks, "Who did that?". His dad lost it. He said "there's only the two of you in the truck and you have to ask?"

Same kid another day. Across the road from the neighbor’s house is a pasture with some horses in it. The guy that owned the horses was a friend and was visiting with the neighbor. He asked the kid to run across the road and see how much water was in the water tank. He came back and told him that the water level came right up to the bottom of the floating heater.

[Rain Man]

You want that Rain Man sig pic?

Don't taunt me if you're not serious.

[JazzzLovr]

He came back and told him that the water level came right up to the bottom of the floating heater.

ROFL

[|Zach|]

Don't taunt me if you're not serious.
Its all yours brother man.

You just have to ask.

[1981Raiders]

Heres one, I was over at the OrangeMane board over the weekend and there was this fool over there name WisconsinHomer and he was making all this dumb @ss comments that were kinda funny. But it was funny to see the Maners gang up on one of there own and I think he ended up getting banned.

[milkman]

Dumb bitch. Besides, Kevin is a great name. She was stupid on 3 accounts:

1 - didn't remeber your name
2 - thought the name Kevin was bad
3 - thought the name John was better

Yeah, since there are like 43 million Johns in U.S. alone.

And you can never find one when you have to take a leak really bad!

[Rain Man]

Its all yours brother man.

You just have to ask.


I...I want it.


I'm enamored with my current avatar, but that one will be next in line.

[Pants]

And you can never find one when you have to take a leak really bad!

Hah.

Any tree is a John. Multiply that number by an integer of your choice. I have no idea how many johns and trees there are.

[|Zach|]

I...I want it.


I'm enamored with my current avatar, but that one will be next in line.
http://www.zachishere.com/crprot/rainman.jpg

[Rain Man]

http://www.zachishere.com/crprot/rainman.jpg


That was just cruel.

[|Zach|]

That was just cruel.
whoa sorry...I am sucha tease...

http://www.zachishere.com/cprot/rainman.jpg

I had to keep you on your toes.

[Rain Man]

whoa sorry...I am sucha tease...

http://www.zachishere.com/cprot/rainman.jpg

I had to keep you on your toes.


I owe you a debt of gratitude that I will never be able to repay.

[Slayer Diablo]

I know this idiot that hit a house...




Then there was that idiot who made lame jokes against himself.

[KCWolfman]

This person wasn't an idiot, but it was an idiotic moment. She and I worked together and we were going out to lunch. It was just the two of us in the car.

Somehow we started talking about a coworker whose name, like mine, was Kevin. She said, "Did you know that his first name is really John? His middle name is Kevin."

I said I didn't know that. Then I commented that he was a smart person to use his more desirable middle name.

She then said, "I don't know. John's not a great name, but it's sure the h*** better than Kevin. I mean, really, that name just sucks. If you had a choice between John and Kevin, wouldn't you go by Jo-" Then all of a sudden, she remembered my name and slammed her mouth to a stop.

I had to laugh. I'm like, there are only two people in this car, and one of them is you. Can you really not remember both names?
I knew a girl named Kevin, she was hot, but not very good at statistical analysis.

I think I like her better.

[chiefs2012]

milkman

[lcarus]

Jones... his name was Jones. A girl's name to be sure.

That's weird. I was gonna come in here and say my brother's girlfriend. Her last name is Jones. She's easily the biggest tard I've ever met. Like...damn near clinically retarded.

[blaise]

I have a friend we call Louie, his proper name is Louis. He had a son and named him, "Lewis". I've known Louie for like 30 years, he's a great guy, but he's dumb as rocks. To this day I believe he meant to name his son after him and spelled his own proper name wrong.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I have a friend we call Louie, his proper name is Louis. He had a son and named him, "Lewis". I've known Louie for like 30 years, he's a great guy, but he's dumb as rocks. To this day I believe he meant to name his son after him and spelled his own proper name wrong.

LMAO

[TimeForWasp]

My ex girlfriend in North Carolina wondered why they have never caught a mermaid yet.

[KChiefer]

My ex girlfriend in North Carolina wondered why they have never caught a mermaid yet.

Wow, that's stupid! Of course we've caught them. She's seen 'Splash', no.?

[Rausch]

How the fuck was this thread even found?

[KChiefer]

Ok, I've been thinking, and it's one of my best friends, which is sad. Why do I have such a moron for a best friend? Oh well, I've done many idiotic things myself.

But so, here it goes,

Just out of high school, one of our friends was arrested for something like outstanding traffic violations, so my buddy goes to the station to pick him up. When he gets to the station he's driving in the parking lot and sees a sign that says "Authorized Personnel Only" but goes beyond it anyways. Some officers see him, stop him, and search his vehicle. They find a steamroller(paraphernalia) in his car. I can't recall if they arrested or ticketed him. Regardless, he went to bail someone out and got busted himself :doh!:.

This friend also recently learned about Craigslist personals and began responding to them. When he started getting messages, he thought they were real. After I explained they were not real, he said he didn't care, at least he was getting hot pics sent to his phone. Another Craigslist mindfuck is that he believed some guys in London wanted to rent his apartment in Central Illinois.

[Donger]

I don't know if this man was an idiot or not, but it's funny anyway.

I was a regional jet flight this week where they gate check your roller bag and then they bring it up to the jetway when you land. So, there's about 20 of us hovering around the jetway waiting for the bags to come up. I see mine and start walking toward it. This guy in front of me grabs my bag and starts walking away with it.

So, I naturally and politely say, "That's my bag, sir." He just looked at me and walked past me. So, I said a little louder, "Sir! That's MY bag." He looked back at me with a weird look and kept walking. Thinking I'm now going to have to tackle this dork, I instead decide to just grab the bag by the handle to stop him. This dork spins around and started yelling for security.

Anyway, after some nice airline folks showed up and asked what was happening, I asked said dork if he went to KU, and when he said, "No!," I pointed to the Jayhawk luggage tag on my bag.

He was pretty embarrassed.

[Buck]

I've met WebGem in real life...

[KurtCobain]

I've met WebGem in real life...

So have I!

[boogblaster]

buddy brought a methhead girlfriend to a party of mine .. sonny was out in the dark shooting her with a rubberband gun .. i told her that nitebugs were getting her .. she ran off into the dark screaming .. ...

[manchambo]

I was talking to the husband of someone I worked with at the Christmas party. Somehow we started talking about 3d movies and he told me he recently read that they were developing 4 dimension movies. Now I've read before about adding smell to movies and they sometimes call that 4d (probably what he read and misunderstood) but it was clear that he believed they were developing technology to display some type of additional dimension. Sad thing is based on several conversations with this guy it wasn't too surprising.

[Baby Lee]

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

Heh, interesting this came back up [no pun intended] around this time. I recently had a bout of the flu, and one of the grossest sequelae was, and this does get gross [forewarned].














Although I hadn't been able to eat for a good while, I tried to drink some milk and like 10 minutes later I had to puke [like a demon!!]. It looked like a plate of scrambled eggs. Apparently the glass of milk had curdled completely from whatever was behind my flu in record time.

[Omaha]

Laz. That is all.

[Papi]

I don't know if this man was an idiot or not, but it's funny anyway.....

Haha, he was definitely an idiot.

[Psyko Tek]

My ex-wife, seriously.

I was young and liked having a good looking woman from a really wealthy family. I overlooked her lack of ability to hold a coherent conversation and thought I would get used to it. Hell, I thought if I got in the family business I could bear anything.

I was dead wrong.

She thought her car wouldn't start because the key was too cold.

She thought plaster of Paris had to come from France or it didn't work.

She would tip 50% at every restaurant because she couldn't figure 20%, and still needed to write out the equation on paper before giving up the money.

She wouldn't eat cheese or drink milk because she was afraid bacteria would cause a growth in her stomach. She also refused watermelon because the seeds may accidently be ingested and she would have to have the plant remove surgically.

I could go on and on. She was truly the most stupid person I had ever met in my life. Ignorant is okay, ignorant people can learn - she was just stupid.

so where are the neeked pics
she must have been really hot

[cosmo20002]

Lady at work went to the Titanic exhibit at Union Station and was suprised to find out that the Titanic sinking was an actual event. She went thinking that the exhibit was about the movie and she would see props and how they did the special effects and stuff like that. And she was stupid enough to admit this to people at work.

[ClevelandBronco]

John Elway, as it turns out. I just didn't know it at the time.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I've never met kcnut but I suspect...

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Sacopoo when they don't take a lineman off his big board.

[CHENZ A!]

I used to work with a lady(mid 40's) who never drank water because she didn't like the taste. She admitted to never buying or using q-tips. And she had absolutely no idea who Nelson Mandela is. That's all I can think of right now, but man was she dumb.

[TimeForWasp]

Everyone knows Nelson Mandela invented Q-tips. sheesh what a dummy she was.

[Fansy the Famous Bard]

I actually hit a guy with my car once. And he apologized to ME. Turns out he was a taxidermist for dead mice....

wait no, that was a movie I saw. My bad. But it was kinda like meeting him...

[bevischief]

I actually hit a guy with my car once. And he apologized to ME. Turns out he was a taxidermist for dead mice....

wait no, that was a movie I saw. My bad. But it was kinda like meeting him...

Your momma.

[Simplicity]

Peyton Manning.

[bevischief]

L.A.Chieffan.

[Phobia]

I am aware this thread is 7 years old. But I remain convinced that it is still me.

[Marcellus]

I am aware this thread is 7 years old. But I remain convinced that it is still me.

You were in the Marines right? Surely you met some dumb mofos there, at least someone dumber than you. :p

Dumbest person I ever met was a guy from Detroit I went to basic training with. Infuriatingly stupid.

[Phobia]

You were in the Marines right? Surely you met some dumb mofos there, at least someone dumber than you. :p

Dumbest person I ever met was a guy from Detroit I went to basic training with. Infuriatingly stupid.

There was a guy in my bootcamp platoon who was so dumb that I asked for a meeting with my senior DI to discuss how he ever got through anybody's screening process. He was from Mississippi and seemed like the results of about 6 generations of fathers and daughters breeding. I don't know how the guy was able to remember his own name.

[Imon Yourside]

Probably the chick I took a computer class with that asked the instructor if she could catch a virus from her computer. I was there to make the world a better place and told her that everytime she swallowed, a puppy or kitten was saved. You can all thank me now.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Worthless n00b. That guy is absolute shite.

[scho63]

There is a girl in one of my classes that tried to convince me that insurance fraud did not raise insurance premiums.

That's because she studies Obamanomics.....

LMAO

[Thig Lyfe]

Wives. Am I right, fellaz??

[Simplicity]

Wives. Am I right, fellaz??

The kitchen is bitchin'

[KurtCobain]

Wives. Am I right, fellaz??

I hate mine.

[Phobia]

Can I change my answer? I forgot all about Joey.

[Lumpy]

Wives. Am I right, fellaz??

:spock:

/takes peanut butter cookies out of the oven

[whoman69]

I had a guy at basic and AIT in our platoon named Rodriguez. His catchphrase was, "I didn't know." Only he said it like, "I idn't know." He was caught sneaking back into the barracks while we were marching out to PT. He got an article 15 for doing something stupid on clean up detail.

So we had a holiday towards the end of our training. They were letting people off for the 3 day weekend, but they had to show up for the last formation headcount before they could go. Our Platoon Sergeant was asked to give the report to the first sergent. It went like this:

Platoon Sergeant: First Sergeant, Pvt Rodriguez ftr
First Sergeant: Good

Took everything I had not to bust out laughing.

The idiot said that once he was done with training he was going to the 82nd Airborne and was going to be in special forces. Kept bragging about the extra money he was going to make. Don't think he ever got there. We got to training at the same time. When I graduated the 12 week program, he was still in week 6.

[bevischief]

Everyone who posts before and after me.