Michael Jackson can't decide what to wear to court.

[4th and Long]

http://img51.exs.cx/img51/6781/wear69dy.jpg

:D

[|Zach|]

Bah, lame.

[Hammock Parties]

Scary.

[4th and Long]

Bah, lame.
I can't take you seriously as a critic when you have a child's cartoon character as an avatar and a light show as a sig. :p

[Hammock Parties]

I can't take you seriously as a critic when you have a child's cartoon character as an avatar and a light show as a sig. :p

His sig is ever-changing, much like mine (if the freaking webhost wasn't taking a dump right now, that is).

[Ultra Peanut]

A "child's cartoon?"

You must be 32 flavors of retarded.

[4th and Long]

A "child's cartoon?"

You must be 32 flavors of retarded.
33 flavors and cartoons are for children.

[|Zach|]

I wouldn't let children watch this cartoon.

[Hammock Parties]

My parents wouldn't let me watch the Simpsons when I was young.

[HemiEd]

I don't care what anyone says that picture is funny as hell! ROFL ROFL

[4th and Long]

I wouldn't let children watch this cartoon.
What cartoon is that anyway? I don't keep up with what you hip kids do these days.

[4th and Long]

I don't care what anyone says that picture is funny as hell! ROFL ROFL
Finally! Someone who doesnt have their funny bone in a cast!

[Ultra Peanut]

cartoons are for children.Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child, do you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.

Cleveland: You're the white version of a black guy that's not good with his money.

Peter Griffin: Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.

Peter Griffin: I've been watching television so much the shows are starting to run together.
Announcer: [For Homicide: Life on Sesame Street] This show contains adult content, and is brought to you by the letter H.
Bert: [Answering phone] Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.
[Gets out of bed and gets dressed]
Bert: Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
Ernie: Bert, you're shouting again, Bert.

Bob Ross: All right, we are going to use a fan brush here and uh why don't you take some hunter green and we are going to put a happy little bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there i will come to your house and I will cut you.

[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian Griffin: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vith Poland!
Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people! Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen! Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland! (You will sit down! You will shut up! You will not insult Germany!)
[throws his hand up in a Hitler salute]
Brian Griffin: ... uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

[FloridaChief]

I don't care what anyone says that picture is funny as hell! ROFL ROFL

Quite wrong.

[|Zach|]

What cartoon is that anyway? I don't keep up with what you hip kids do these days.
The Family Guy...it is really funny and not for kids.

[Ultra Peanut]

Guy on Street #2: It's 3:00. Where the hell is Louie?
Guy on Street #1: Well, you tell me. Louie left his house at 2:15 and had to travel a distance 6.2 miles traveling at a rate of five miles a hour. When will Louie get here?
Guy On Street #2: Depends if he stops to see his ho.
Guy on Street #1: That's what we call a "variable".

[Talisman]

He should wear his "sorry-I-gave-your-kid-wine-and-made-him-watch-gay-porn-before-screwing-him" eyes. The jury really sympathizes with those.

[Ultra Peanut]

<img src="http://briansbar.com/forum/style_avatars/RocketmanAV.gif" style="width: 120px; height: 80px; border: 0" alt="" />

Stewie Griffin: She packed my bags. Last night preflight. Zero hour 9am
[inhales cigarette]
Stewie Griffin: and I'm gonna be... high... as a kite by then.
[transparent Stewie clone #1]
Stewie Griffin: And I think its gonna be a long time til touch down brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home, Oh No no! I'm a rocket man. Rocket man! Burnin out his fuse out here, Alone!
[Transparent stewie clone #2 bow tie undone]
Stewie Griffin: And I think its gonna be a long time til touch down brings me down again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no! I'm a rock it man. Rocket man! burnin out his fuse out here. Alone!

Diane Simmons: Our top story tonight, I have been cast as the lead in the Quahog Players' production of The King And I.
Tom Tucker: In other news, I wont be going to the play because I'm sure it will be lousy.
Diane Simmons: This just in: Tom, you're such a closet case.
Tom Tucker: We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?

Young Peter Griffin: Why did all the dinosaurs die?
Museum Curator: Because you touch yourself at night.
[Peter looks down in shame]

[HemiEd]

Quite wrong.

We disagree, very funny picture of a pervert!

[beer bacon]

We disagree, very funny picture of a pervert!

Stop all this nonsense. This thread is about Family Guy now.

[HemiEd]

Stop all this nonsense. This thread is about Family Guy now.

sorry for my loss of control but I am still laughing, damn! ROFL

[Ultra Peanut]

Stop all this nonsense. This thread is about Family Guy now.Damn straight.

Tom Tucker: Coming up next: Can bees think? A new study indicates that no, they cannot.

Peter Griffin: Hey, camera guy. Check this out.
[holding up an old woman puppet]
Peter Griffin: 'Peter Griffin and Madame.' Oh, Madam, you're a lusty old gal, aren't you?
Peter Griffin: [as Madame] You're the one with your hand up my backside, darling.
Peter Griffin: Oh! She got me!

Peter Griffin: Lois, come see what I did with the money your dad gave me.
Lois Griffin: Oh my God. You turned the den into Pee-Wee's Playhouse?
Peter Griffin: [singing] Come on, get up / Knock off your napping / It's a crazy, messed up place where anything can happen / There's a chair that freakin' talks. Hey look! / There's some fish that give advice. Holy crap / It's screwey at Peter's Playhouse. Ha ha ha. Watch this, Lois.
[imitates Pee-Wee]
Peter Griffin: Hewy Jambi.
Brian Griffin: [as Jambi the Genie] Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka-hinie - God, I hate you so much.
Lois Griffin: Peter, that reparation money should be going to worthy black charity.
Peter Griffin: Lois, the King of Cartoons will be here in 5 minutes. I will not have you embarrass me.
Lois Griffin: Peter, you're acting ridiculous.
Peter Griffin: [everyone screams, "Ridiculous" flashes at the bottom of the screen] You said the secret word!

Stewie Griffin: [controlling a robot Peter] Blast, you vile woman!
Peter Griffin: Blast, you vile woman!
Stewie Griffin: Ugh, that'll never do... translator. You there, with the severe aesthetic deficiencies!
Peter Griffin: Hey, ugly!
Stewie Griffin: Excellent.

Lois Griffin: Meg... is that a real Prada bag? How did you make $1100 as a waitress in a week?
Meg Griffin: It's easy... when you're the unwed teenage mother of a crack-addicted baby. Ha ha ha ha...
Peter Griffin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Meg. When did you become a teenager?
Lois Griffin: Peter, she's sixteen.
Peter Griffin: You KNEW about this?

[Adam West is trying to win a promotion for Pawtucket Pat's brewery, and is talking to a beer bottle]
Adam West: Now you listen to me, you long-necked bastard. Give me that silver scroll, and I'll make you Head of Sanitation for the entire city. It's a do-nothing job, sweet-cake.

Doctor: Mr. West, you have lymphoma.
Adam West: Oh my...
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that toxic waste.
Adam West: I see.
Doctor: What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Adam West: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well, that's just silly!
Adam West: Silly? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.

[FloridaChief]

We disagree, very funny picture of a pervert!

We may indeed disagree, but it's not funny. Now here's why: In 2005, there is no longer any way to parody Jackson because he has beaten us to the punch and decided to become a living parody. There's nothing a photoshopper could do to exaggerate the ridiculous nature of Jackson's life for a laugh. For unfathomable reasons, he has claimed the furthest frontiers of bizarreness as his everyday existance. Nothing funny there.

Well, I've just done something I've sworn I'd never do--explain comedy. Well, actually I said I'd never explain why something IS funny, so I guess I'm still safe...

[Ultra Peanut]

It was just so... paint-by-numbers.