PDA

View Full Version : The Pizza Man Always Rings Twice


siberian khatru
02-23-2005, 06:32 PM
Long piece, here's a sampler:

http://www.citypages.com/databank/26/1264/article12991.asp

SEX

CP: Let's talk about naked customers and sex.

Mr. Pink: Over the years, I've come across a lot of naked people. Unfortunately, they have mostly been guys. Sometimes it is just a pathetic situation. I vividly remember this one guy in a high-rise on Third Avenue. He came to the door in the wheelchair, wearing a filthy white T-shirt and nothing else.

Mr. Brown: I think a lot of people get their kicks from being half-naked in front of the pizza man. There was a gay couple I delivered to--the guy who answered the door was fully clothed. But then this other guy came dancing around the corner, wearing nothing but a T-shirt. He had money in his hand. And he was holding it down there [gestures to crotch] so I could get a good look. He was getting his kicks out of it.

Mr. Blond: Once I answered the phone at the restaurant to take an order. I could tell right away the caller was kind of drunk, but we were getting along. So I said, "I'm getting off pretty soon," and she said, "So am I." I thought to myself, I have got to make this run. When I finally get there, she's wearing a bathrobe that's open. She's completely naked underneath. So she pays for the pizza and says, "Do you want to come up?" I followed her into her apartment and she starts kissing me, nibbling on my ear and grabbing my ass.

Then she pulls me back into another, much darker room. I said, "Where are the lights? Turn on the lights!" I thought I was about to get robbed. All of a sudden, I hear two other voices in the bedroom--a guy and a girl. I guess they wanted a foursome.

Mr. White: I once took a delivery to a place on Emerson Avenue. The girl who ordered specifically asked for me to make the delivery. So I pounded on the door, and it turns out it was this girl who I had delivered pizza to a half-dozen times at about four different addresses. I also used to see her at rock shows. One time I got her into a show for free. I never knew her name, but somehow she knew mine. Anyway, she had a towel on, like she had been in the shower. She was super cute, and I'm thinking, "Oh, my God, this is it, this is it." You know the part, when the porn music comes on. Gung-ch-ch, gung-ch-ch. Then I looked at the shower, and I see this dude step out--big naked hairy hippie dude with his crank hanging out. And then I was like, "Oh, I see what's going on here." He came to the door, and said, "What's up?"

CP: Have any of you guys ever gotten laid on the job?

Mr. Pink: Yes. I was 19, working at this little joint near my mom's house. It was the last run of the night, to this kind of low-rent apartment complex in the suburbs. I knock, and this chick in her early 30s opens this door. She was kind of good-looking but kind of trashy. And she was totally naked. She goes through this little bead wall, and says, "Come in for a second. I've got to get the money." So I walked through the bead wall, and she's sitting on the couch, and says, "Want a drink?" By then it's clear what's going on. She made me some kind of drink, and we smoked some pot. She's totally naked and I'm in my little pizza shirt, and she says, exact words, "Do you have time for a quickie?" I told her, "I've got to go back to close the shop but I could come back."

She says sure, so I went to the store, shut down, and came back. So I'm ****ing her and then all of a sudden she says really loudly, "Hey, come on out." And this fat dude comes stumbling through the bead door, stark naked, stroking his hard-on. I got the hell out of there. Then I went home and took a long shower.

Mr. Brown: There is always someone waiting in the wings. The perverted puppeteer. It is an icky, icky world.

tk13
02-23-2005, 06:38 PM
Mr. Pink: Yes. I was 19, working at this little joint near my mom's house. It was the last run of the night, to this kind of low-rent apartment complex in the suburbs. I knock, and this chick in her early 30s opens this door. She was kind of good-looking but kind of trashy. And she was totally naked. She goes through this little bead wall, and says, "Come in for a second. I've got to get the money." So I walked through the bead wall, and she's sitting on the couch, and says, "Want a drink?" By then it's clear what's going on. She made me some kind of drink, and we smoked some pot. She's totally naked and I'm in my little pizza shirt, and she says, exact words, "Do you have time for a quickie?" I told her, "I've got to go back to close the shop but I could come back."

She says sure, so I went to the store, shut down, and came back. So I'm ****ing her and then all of a sudden she says really loudly, "Hey, come on out." And this fat dude comes stumbling through the bead door, stark naked, stroking his hard-on. I got the hell out of there. Then I went home and took a long shower.

So these are the stories you didn't want to tell us, eh Phob?

siberian khatru
02-23-2005, 06:43 PM
So these are the stories you didn't want to tell us, eh Phob?

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Rain Man
02-23-2005, 06:44 PM
I never get to see naked people at my job. I proposed topless Friday once, but it didn't fly.

CosmicPal
02-23-2005, 07:10 PM
One summer, home from college, I delivered patio furniture in the KC metro area. We walked around the back one time when nobody answered the door and found three hot gals sunbathing in the nude. That was pretty sweet. The three of them screamed and ran around covering themselves- it was a riot.

But, the only time we ever had a chance to do it with anyone was with this one suburban housewife who had like fifty patio sets already- she answered the door seductively with a glass of mai tai or something in her hand. She asked us to come in, but we just dumped off the furniture and got out of there...she wasn't that attractive.

Calcountry
02-23-2005, 07:11 PM
At my work, good looking ladies come in and PAY me to service them.

lmao.

Kyle401
02-24-2005, 12:23 PM
CP: Let's talk about naked customers and sex.


Looks like Carl Peterson is scouting out his next job..... I can't think of any other reason he would be conducting this interview instead of focusing on FA and the draft....:shake:

WebGem
02-24-2005, 03:51 PM
I delivered for Domino's from June of this year until November. I have some stories, I have class right now though. I'll tell them later.

Rain Man
02-24-2005, 04:13 PM
I delivered for Domino's from June of this year until November. I have some stories, I have class right now though. I'll tell them later.

No. Do it now.

J Diddy
02-24-2005, 04:17 PM
I delivered for Domino's from June of this year until November. I have some stories, I have class right now though. I'll tell them later.

which store?

I manage a dominos pizza.

Iowanian
02-24-2005, 04:19 PM
I hate Dominoes.

I hope they all go out of business in a way that makes Enron Wince.

J Diddy
02-24-2005, 04:21 PM
I hate Dominoes.

I hope they all go out of business in a way that makes Enron Wince.

and we wish the same to you.

CosmicPal
02-24-2005, 04:22 PM
I delivered for Domino's from June of this year until November. I have some stories, I have class right now though. I'll tell them later.

I think you should blow off school. Dude, save some money- continuing working for Domino's and get your career going in the right direction. Imagine all the naked women that will be awaiting at their doors for you should you be a delivery driver all your life. Not only that, you get free pizza, get to hang around potheads, and you'll be retired like- never.

J Diddy
02-24-2005, 04:24 PM
I think you should blow off school. Dude, save some money- continuing working for Domino's and get your career going in the right direction. Imagine all the naked women that will be awaiting at their doors for you should you be a delivery driver all your life. Not only that, you get free pizza, get to hang around potheads, and you'll be retired like- never.


boy, you sure do know what you're talking about.

:shake:

Fairplay
02-24-2005, 04:54 PM
I get the urge to poop not to long after i eat a pizza.

Rain Man
02-24-2005, 05:06 PM
When I was in high school, the steak house where I worked shared a parking lot with a local hotel. We'd occasionally get room service orders, and would deliver a meal to a room.

We had one gal who was pretty good-looking (if you're into the slender and waiflike look), and she was (ahem) relatively fast. She delivered a room service order once, and no one noticed that she was gone for about 45 minutes until she came back rather disheveled and happy. She said that she couldn't resist the invitation.

seclark
02-24-2005, 05:09 PM
I get the urge to poop not to long after i eat a pizza.
try one w/o the prunes.
sec

Spicy McHaggis
02-24-2005, 05:30 PM
Hey J Diddy, I worked at a pizza place for about a year and got kinda creative with my pizza making. Any recipes you've come up with that kick ass?