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|Zach|
03-07-2005, 05:31 AM
6-year-old suspended after mother refuses to spank him for numerous disciplinary infractions; instead she yanks him from school

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/content/education/chi-0503060429mar06,1,4211570.story?coll=chi-news-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true

By Diane Rado
Tribune staff reporter
Published March 6, 2005

A 6-year-old boy who often talked too much in class was suspended from 1st grade at Schaumburg Christian School last week after his mother refused to spank him.

Chandler Scott Fallaw, a rambunctious boy, had been piling up disciplinary notes for talking, chewing gum, bringing toys to class and not finishing classwork, said his mother, Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson. "By no means is my child perfect," she acknowledged.

But she never anticipated the ultimatum delivered at school Wednesday.

When she arrived to pick up Chandler, she said, assistant administrator Linda Moreau told her the school needed assurances that the boy would be disciplined. "She said, `Either he gets a spanking before he leaves today, or I'm suspending him,'" Fallaw-Gabrielson recalled.

She said she refused to spank her son and left with the assistant administrator calling after her: "You know he's suspended, and that's a very serious matter on his record."

Fallaw-Gabrielson withdrew Chandler from the school the next day.

"I was so shocked that they were putting me in this situation," she said.

As a Christian, Fallaw-Gabrielson knows well the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child." But she can't bring herself to spank Chandler and uses alternative disciplinary measures instead, such as time-outs and taking away toys.

The American Civil Liberties Union in Illinois and other groups that follow the corporal punishment issue say what happened to Chandler and his mother appears to be legal, though highly unusual. Private schools have wide discretion in discipline matters, they said, and parents agree to school policies when they enroll their children.

Handbook spells out discipline

At Schaumburg Christian School, a ministry of Bethel Baptist Church that serves about 1,300 preschool to 12th-grade students, "parent-administered corporal punishment" is part of the disciplinary system for pre-kindergarten through 6th-grade children. The parent/student handbook states that "When this becomes necessary, parents will be asked to administer this form of punishment."

Parents also sign a "statement of cooperation" that lists parent-administered corporal punishment among its disciplinary guidelines.

Still, Fallaw-Gabrielson said it's not clear in any of the literature or presentations that parents would be given an ultimatum that could lead to their child's suspension.

Assistant Administrator Moreau declined to comment for this story and referred calls to school administrator Randy Thaxton.

Thaxton said: "Our policies are reasonable. They are legal; they are in writing." He stressed that he could not discuss any student disciplinary case specifically, but said the school, as a last resort, does give parents the option of spanking their children or accepting a one-day suspension.

"When it gets to the point where the teacher can't solve the problem in the classroom, and the administration can't solve the problem, we ask parents to fix the problem," he said. "We'd say, `look, our policy is you have an option. You can spank your child, or we will suspend him for the day.'"

However, that situation is rare, Thaxton said. "We've had five students, of 565 in the first through 6th grades, in this position because of long-term, unacceptable behavior," he said.

The case adds a twist to the emotional debate on corporal punishment that has played out nationwide for decades.

Parents remember spanking

While parents growing up in the 1950s and 1960s may recall getting spanked at home and paddled at school, the practice has increasingly declined.

Just over half the states have banned corporal punishment by school officials since the 1970s, with Illinois taking that action in 1994. Organizations for and against corporal punishment say that, with limited exceptions, the state bans in Illinois and elsewhere do not apply to private schools.

However, Illinois State Board of Education general counsel Jonathan Furr said Friday that Illinois case law suggests the ban could apply to private schools, though he cannot conclude that without more research.

In any case, an increasing number of private schools are shying away from corporal punishment, said Burt Carney, director for legal/legislative issues for the Colorado-based Association of Christian Schools International. His organization recently voted to discourage its member schools from using corporal punishment "because of today's litigious society and changing views on what is appropriate."

Thaxton said school officials do not administer corporal punishment at Schaumburg Christian. Under the school policy, the parents do any spanking.

Even so, the school should be concerned about liability if a child is seriously injured by a parent on campus, said Nadine Block, a former school psychologist and executive director of the Ohio-based Center for Effective Discipline, which works to eliminate corporal punishment.

Thaxton said the school has never been sued in the 11 years he's been in charge and that enrollment has more than doubled from 600 students--proof that parents want an academically challenging and disciplined environment.

The school started in 1971 as a preschool and grew to 12 grades by 1980. Parents agree to rules that include no physical contact between male and female students before, during or after school, and no rock music for junior and senior high students. Such music promotes rebellion, alcohol and drug use and other misbehavior, according to the school.

It goes back to Bible

Corporal punishment has a basis in the Bible, said Thaxton, pointing to a phrase in Proverbs 13:24 in the leather-bound Bible on his desk: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son." Inside one desk drawer, he keeps two paddles--a ping-pong paddle, and a larger, lightweight wooden paddle that can be used for spanking.

Around the school Friday, a diverse group of students quietly and diligently worked in cheerfully decorated classrooms. Elementary class sizes average 22 or 23 students; high school classes are even smaller. A group of kindergarten students was reading, and 1st graders were reading text that included words such as carpenter, scientists and missionary.

Fallaw-Gabrielson, Chandler's mother, praised the school's academic program. At home Friday--the boy is being home-schooled until the family moves to Aurora next month--Chandler was doing exercises on punctuation and capitalization.

One of the problems, his mother said, was that the school did not deal creatively with a rowdy but polite 6-year-old who tests at the 3rd-grade level and may have been restless and bored.

Between September and March, Chandler got 20 "Tally Reports" outlining his misbehavior at school.

Many were for talking too much in class. "Chandler had a bad day today. He talked all day," one said. Another said: "Chandler has been showing off all day."

Another reported that Chandler brought gum to school, which isn't allowed. "He offered gum to me," the teacher wrote. When she declined, he began chewing it himself.

Fallaw-Gabrielson said some of his behavior could stem from changes in the boy's life--she had been a single mother raising Chandler and recently married.

Each time he gets into trouble, she tries to be consistent in her disciplinary approach. But she remains steadfast in refusing to spank him.

"I'm a huge communicator," she said, "and I feel like physical is not the answer."


Copyright © 2005, Chicago Tribune

oaklandhater
03-07-2005, 06:25 AM
Brings back memories of catholic school the pain oh the pain!!!!!!!!!!

Alphaman
03-07-2005, 06:37 AM
This appears to be a very juicy debate. Too bad I'll be at work and won't get to take part today.

Here' my take. I agree with the mother on this point. If the child is in the 1st grade and tests at a 3rd grade level, the school has failed to appropriately challenge him with school work at his level. I agree he is likely bored.

However, the mother has failed in teaching the child appropriate respect for authorities and rules. Apparently, timeouts and taking away toys is not working, which makes sense for a creative, intellectual child. She needs to get his attention and the best way to do that, imho, is a few swats on the bottom.

I have a 3rd grade son who tests at reading accuracy on an 8th grade level and comprehension on a 6th grade level. Every year we make it clear with his teacher and the principal that we expect him to grown in his development and not be pulled back to some state administered norm. However, we also express to him the importance of respecting authority. Our biggest joy comes not when teachers and other adults comment on how smart he is (while that is very comforting), but when they tell us how well behaved and polite he is.

trndobrd
03-07-2005, 07:01 AM
Don't forget, this is a private school. Mom is free to take the kid out and put him in school somewhere else. She agreed to the terms of the contract, now the kid either needs a whippin', a suspendin' or a new school.

trndobrd
03-07-2005, 07:05 AM
I have a 3rd grade son who tests at reading accuracy on an 8th grade level and comprehension on a 6th grade level.


I don't suppose he has any spare time to help tutor some of U of Miami football players?

Braincase
03-07-2005, 07:05 AM
Sometimes these new schools need to do things that are old school. My kids get a warning, a timeout, and if that doesn't work, a single swat, and if they still don't straighten up, it's spatula time. One swat 99% of the time unless it's something we've warned them about over and over, and then it's two bare bottom swats with the spatula on the fanny.

Oh Christ... SRS just pulled into the driveway...

Herzig
03-07-2005, 07:07 AM
Corporal punishment is legal in Arkansas, though it rarely happens at my school. Our principal usually only does it at the request of the parents. IMO, there needs to be more spanking in US schools since kids really aren't getting much parenting at home(in general). Kids today lack respect for themselves, parents, and teachers. Maybe more spanking might be a good thing if followed as a last resort under strict guidelines.

OldTownChief
03-07-2005, 07:30 AM
[b]after his mother refused to spank him.




This is where I stopped reading, knowing where the problem is.

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 07:34 AM
It IS a private/parochial school. They apparently subscribe to the philosophy of "spare the rod, spoil the child." And they are apparently willing to stand behind it, I guess. :shrug:

Kris Kringle
03-07-2005, 09:07 AM
We need more spanking of bratty children these days. Children are out of hand and most parents are morons when it comes to dicipline.

Coach
03-07-2005, 09:19 AM
http://www.unitedgreeks.com/unitedgreeks/images/images-products/paddles1.jpg

ROYC75
03-07-2005, 09:40 AM
She signed the agreement, both sides are correct with their actions.

I'm old school,I got paddled at school, the day they took the paddle away at school gave the kids a leg up on the teachers.

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 10:13 AM
... the day they took the paddle away at school gave the kids a leg up on the teachers.

I'd prefer to have it available as an option for age-appropriate kids...until 5th grade or so. However, it should be used very rarely....and very sparingly.

It's fear of spanking, it's use as a deterrent that no longer is there, that has been unfortunate...and despite what critics will argue, it WAS damn effective in that sense. :shake:

Kris Kringle
03-07-2005, 10:17 AM
I'd prefer to have it available as an option for age-appropriate kids...until 5th grade or so. However, it should be used very rarely....and very sparingly.

It's fear of spanking, it's use as a deterrent that has been unfortunate...and despite what critics will argue, it WAS damn effective in that sense. :shake: I agree.

chiefs4me
03-07-2005, 10:18 AM
She is stupid for signing the paper in the first place..They make us sign a wavier here in texas for our kids at school. If they deserve a spanking they want to be able to give them one. Well I never sign the paper....nobody is gonna spank my kids except me. And nobody is gonna tell me WHEN to spank my kids. My middle son Justin got into trouble about 3 years ago on the football field and coach wanted to give him swats....well he did as I told him, he told the coach no one was gonna touch him till he called his mother. So I was called, went to the school, got down to the problem and found out it wasn't even my son who caused the trouble. But they would of not found this out unless I went to school and raised hell, so he would of got swatted for something he didn't even do.......it really sucks that a stranger at school has the right to spank your child, but when you do it someone wants to call the police..

KCChiefsMan
03-07-2005, 11:32 AM
that is ridiculous! Maybe the teachers should try being a role model for once, go one-on-one with the kid and try to help him out. That kind of reminds me of the time I was sent to the office and go a weeks detention for answering a question the teacher asked, correctly I might add, for not raising my hand first.

BigMeatballDave
03-07-2005, 11:40 AM
I had a swat once in Jr. High. I traded a detention for it...

Mark M
03-07-2005, 11:42 AM
Some kids deserve to be beaten ...

MM
~~;)

ROYC75
03-07-2005, 11:52 AM
I can say that the board of education brought me to my sense a time or two.

The last time was a Fr in high school, I shouldn't have got it to start with. But it did let me know that I was hanging with the wrong crowd.

Esp. after I got it again at home..... in those days, it was a 2 for 1 type punishment.

Mark M
03-07-2005, 11:54 AM
I can say that the board of education brought me to my sense a time or two.

The last time was a Fr in high school, I shouldn't have got it to start with. But it did let me know that I was hanging with the wrong crowd.

Esp. after I got it again at home..... in those days, it was a 2 for 1 type punishment.

I agree. Hell, all my dad has to do was pull his belt out and that was the end of whatever it was we shouldn't have been doing.

While parent's shouldn't abuse their kids, a bit of corporal punishment can go much further than a time out, depending on the kid.

MM
~~:shrug:

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 11:58 AM
that is ridiculous! Maybe the teachers should try being a role model for once, go one-on-one with the kid and try to help him out. That kind of reminds me of the time I was sent to the office and go a weeks detention for answering a question the teacher asked, correctly I might add, for not raising my hand first.

Given your comments and contributions here, I guarantee you aren't tellin' the whole story.... :)

Brock
03-07-2005, 12:02 PM
I see kids all the time that could have used a good beating. They're usually on skateboards.

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:03 PM
I see kids all the time that could have used a good beating. They're usually on skateboards.

While there are exceptions, that is a rough crowd...for sure.

WilliamTheIrish
03-07-2005, 12:07 PM
I can't believe shiot like this even makes the paper...

Mommy uses "time outs" and "alternate forms of dicipline."

Those seem to work real well, eh Mommy?

Any kid named Chandler is just going to get his ass kicked daily anyway.

chiefs4me
03-07-2005, 12:11 PM
Some kids deserve to be beaten ...

MM
~~;)


Idiot.......:harumph:

Mark M
03-07-2005, 12:11 PM
Idiot.......:harumph:

Case in point ...

MM
~~:p

chiefs4me
03-07-2005, 12:12 PM
I see kids all the time that could have used a good beating. They're usually on skateboards.






Are you actually a grown man saying this.......:shake:

Mark M
03-07-2005, 12:13 PM
Are you actually a grown man saying this.......:shake:

joke n.
Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line. A mischievous trick; a prank. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation. Informal. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.MM
~~:spock:

memyselfI
03-07-2005, 12:19 PM
6-year-old suspended after mother refuses to spank him for numerous disciplinary infractions; instead she yanks him from school

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/content/education/chi-0503060429mar06,1,4211570.story?coll=chi-news-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true

By Diane Rado
Tribune staff reporter
Published March 6, 2005

A 6-year-old boy who often talked too much in class was suspended from 1st grade at Schaumburg Christian School last week after his mother refused to spank him.

Chandler Scott Fallaw, a rambunctious boy, had been piling up disciplinary notes for talking, chewing gum, bringing toys to class and not finishing classwork, said his mother, Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson. "By no means is my child perfect," she acknowledged.



So the mother signed the papers and then refused to abide by the discipline policy and is complaining about the policy being used in a private religious school?

Sounds like the kid has gotten his exemplary behavior from his mother/role model. :shake: :rolleyes:

memyselfI
03-07-2005, 12:20 PM
that is ridiculous! Maybe the teachers should try being a role model for once, go one-on-one with the kid and try to help him out. That kind of reminds me of the time I was sent to the office and go a weeks detention for answering a question the teacher asked, correctly I might add, for not raising my hand first.


Oh please. The teachers are NOT the failure here. It's the kid who's parents are allowing him to bring toys from home and breaking school policy.

Mark M
03-07-2005, 12:21 PM
On the bright side, meme didn't blame George Bush ...

MM
~~:spock:

memyselfI
03-07-2005, 12:22 PM
On the bright side, meme didn't blame George Bush ...

MM
~~:spock:

Ah, mark this as the first attempt to politicize the thread...

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:23 PM
Are you actually a grown man saying this.......:shake:

You, as a grown woman, said this: "nobody is gonna spank my kids except me. And nobody is gonna tell me WHEN to spank my kids.......it really sucks that a stranger at school has the right to spank your child."

:shrug:

Have you ever spanked your kid? Who spends more time with your kid, you or his teacher....? Be honest.

I'm not saying it's right, necessarily; but parents expect schools to "teach" their kids, and then they take away an option that does work with some kids in some situations.

I was spanked; most people used to. And the world seems to be a lot worse off since this "don't spank" stuff started in my mind.... :shake:

FTR, I'm not advocating child abuse; but spanking need not be "abuse"....

penguinz
03-07-2005, 12:25 PM
Nothing is solves things better than hitting someone who is 4 ft tall and under 60 lbs.

memyselfI
03-07-2005, 12:27 PM
Nothing is solves things better than hitting someone who is 4 ft tall and under 60 lbs.


On the flip side, if nothing else works then your options need to remain open. While I don't agree the school should be spanking the kid, I think the parent's should have the right to do so and if she's signed the contract saying she would then she's :deevee: for nothing.

Brock
03-07-2005, 12:27 PM
Nothing is solves things better than hitting someone who is 4 ft tall and under 60 lbs.

Yes, by all means, let's wait until they're 6 feet, 200 lbs., and never faced discipline in their lives. That way, they're on the fast track to prison and it isn't their fault.

Mark M
03-07-2005, 12:31 PM
Nothing is solves things better than hitting someone who is 4 ft tall and under 60 lbs.

What, you think I'm gonna wait until they are 6'2", 250 lbs?

Besides, they fly futher at a young age ...

and they heal faster, too.

MM
~~;)

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:32 PM
Nothing is solves things better than hitting someone who is 4 ft tall and under 60 lbs.

Dr. Spock,

A swat on the bottom, for a kid that doesn't react to any other deterrent is not child abuse--even if you can't seem to draw a distinction in your mind.

Sincerely,
A "Real" Dad

Rain Man
03-07-2005, 12:33 PM
This is why you always want to have one bully in the class that is relying on you to not send him to juvie. You just put Chandler and Butch in a room together for 20 minutes and tell Butch that you'll forget about the cigarettes he's got rolled up in his sleeve.

|Zach|
03-07-2005, 12:34 PM
I was never hit, I don't see a problem with it if done as described by others on this thread but I always laugh when the issue comes up because people talk about it like some end all perfect method for raising a good child.

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:34 PM
On the flip side, if nothing else works then your options need to remain open. While I don't agree the school should be spanking the kid, I think the parent's should have the right to do so and if she's signed the contract saying she would then she's :deevee: for nothing.

HOLY Shit! :eek:

Hell just froze over.... ;)

chiefs4me
03-07-2005, 12:35 PM
You, as a grown woman, said this: "nobody is gonna spank my kids except me. And nobody is gonna tell me WHEN to spank my kids.......it really sucks that a stranger at school has the right to spank your child."

:shrug:

Have you ever spanked your kid? Who spends more time with your kid, you or his teacher....? Be honest.

I'm not saying it's right, necessarily; but parents expect schools to "teach" their kids, and then they take away an option that does work with some kids in some situations.

I was spanked; most people used to. And the world seems to be a lot worse off since this "don't spank" stuff started in my mind.... :shake:

FTR, I'm not advocating child abuse; but spanking need not be "abuse"....





Don't talk to me about Education...it used to be my field. Considering that my sons have 8 different teacher daily, with 50 mintues for each teacher sharing the teacher with 20 other students, I spend more time with my children then anybody.

They are lucky if they even get to see the regular teacher 5 days a week, with all the days off and conventions and meetings, so why don't you go spend some quality time with your students.........:harumph:

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:36 PM
Yes, by all means, let's wait until they're 6 feet, 200 lbs., and never faced discipline in their lives. That way, they're on the fast track to prison and it isn't their fault.

Let me guess, you are a parent with some "experience." I suspect "penguinz" isn't through puberty yet--or at the very least hasn't had kids old enough to "spank" yet.....wanna bet? :)

That, or she's a Dr. Spock disciple....heh.

memyselfI
03-07-2005, 12:51 PM
I was never hit, I don't see a problem with it if done as described by others on this thread but I always laugh when the issue comes up because people talk about it like some end all perfect method for raising a good child.

You know, the few times I've actually spanked my kids I did so knowing that I had failed them as much as they had failed me...

and that is the key. It's never to be used regularly or for minor infractions. It must be used along with HEFTY doses of introspection from the kid AND the parent/s.

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 12:51 PM
Don't talk to me about Education...it used to be my field. Considering that my sons have 8 different teacher daily, with 50 mintues for each teacher sharing the teacher with 20 other students, I spend more time with my children then anybody.

They are lucky if they even get to see the regular teacher 5 days a week, with all the days off and conventions and meetings, so why don't you go spend some quality time with your students.........:harumph:

Did you read my earlier post....after 5th grade or so, I'd agree it's no longer appropriate.

FTR, I'm at lunch.

|Zach|
03-07-2005, 12:53 PM
My parents spanked me. Look how I turned out.
ROFL

ROYC75
03-07-2005, 01:10 PM
Oh boy, this is getting good.

OTOH, WWRSD ? ROFL

KCChiefsMan
03-07-2005, 01:56 PM
Given your comments and contributions here, I guarantee you aren't tellin' the whole story.... :)

I guarantee you can kiss my a$$

Mr. Kotter
03-07-2005, 02:25 PM
I guarantee you can kiss my a$$

I'll take that as an admission you didn't tell us the whole story, then? :shrug: