Goofy night crew rantings.

[ChiTown]

I called my shot about an hour ago...................... :hump:

[J Diddy]

I called my shot about an hour ago...................... :hump:

Last time I called my shot, I struck out.

:)

[keg in kc]

I'm calling this shot "Knob Creek".

[CosmicPal]

I'm calling for jello shots

[Brando]

Jager bomber!
Aren't you one of those Apple Pucker fairy's?

[Mr. Kotter]

I'm calling for jello shots

Heh. Last time I had jello-shots was at Kelley's in Westport....the good ole days...

[Mr. Kotter]

You're just trying to start a fight, aren't ya? Now I'm glad I stole your Christmas presents.

Fugg a fight--let's make it a "barroom brawl".... :cuss:

[Brando]

Fugg a fight--let's make it a "barroom brawl".... :cuss:
Everyone jump the queen! GANGBANG!

[Brando]

I thought you liked tequila rose and bubble baths?
That's only on the nights that he douches

[keg in kc]

Everyone jump the queen! GANGBANG!What the f*ck kind of bars do you go to? Blue Oyster?

[Brando]

What the f*ck kind of bars do you go to? Blue Oyster?

I was just trying to keep Brian interested.

[Nightfyre]

Everyone jump the queen! GANGBANG!
history of the world....
very impressive comedy knowledge afoot.

[booger]

That's only on the nights that he douches
MMMMMMMM

Nothing like the stank of a good ole vinigar douche.

[Brando]

history of the world....
very impressive comedy knowledge afoot.

Well..ya know..It's good to be da king.

[Nightfyre]

Well..ya know..It's good to be da king.
I invoke kings priviledge... Three moves to one!

[Mr. Kotter]

Well..ya know..It's good to be da king.

Yeah...."Piss Boy, Ohhhhh Piss Boy....." ROFL

[Brando]

The free drinks were nice.
When are you going to be up again? I'll be out in Phoenix in June probably.

[Brando]

I'll be in Rolla next week. I suspect the next time I'll be in KC will be next year's 37 Forever weekend. Er, I guess that would be this year now... whatever.

We'll definitely have to get shitty in Old Town in June.
I'll be out for my 30th. My old man will probably do something crazy like tty to get me blown by a hooker with a club foot.

[Mr. Kotter]

....a hooker with a club foot.

Don't knock it; she's good. :hmmm:

[Nightfyre]

I'll be out for my 30th. My old man will probably do something crazy like tty to get me blown by a hooker with a club foot.
Im not gonna lie... Your old man is a quality fellow.

[ChiTown]

I'll be out for my 30th. My old man will probably do something crazy like tty to get me blown by a hooker with a club foot.

Ya know, is it too much to ask for your old man to do something a little more original?

[Mr. Kotter]

Ya know, is it too much to ask for your old man to do something a little more original?

A she-male for a strap-on rear "delivery" would be 'original', yes? What's your dad's cellphone number Brando...heh.

[Brando]

Outstanding.

Y'know, my neighbor always has free passes to Babe's.

Now that could be fun..I'll send my other hald out to the movies with my ma that night. Somehow I can't help but think the combination of you and my father equals a night in jail for all of us. But then again I really thought that it was Jesus Juice that Michael Jackson was offering to those poor kiddies.

[Brando]

A she-male for a strap-on rear "delivery" would be 'original', yes? What's your dad's cellphone number Brando...heh.
I don't think he needs you to call. From what my lil bro has been telling me I think he's got them on speed dial.

[Mr. Kotter]

Er, if it's a she-male, why the strap on?

Because SIZE does matter, heh.

[Mr. Kotter]

I don't think he needs you to call. From what my lil bro has been telling me I think he's got them on speed dial.

Your dad has she-males with strap-on on his speed dial? :eek:

[ChiTown]

Now that could be fun..I'll send my other hald out to the movies with my ma that night. Somehow I can't help but think the combination of you and my father equals a night in jail for all of us. But then again I really thought that it was Jesus Juice that Michael Jackson was offering to those poor kiddies.

I spent a night in jail this Summer. Sucked. Matter a fact, it sucked a lot. One suggestion, find a designated driver - I didn't. :banghead:

[Brando]

Fan-f*cking-tastic.

Probably a good thing we won't all be in Tucson. We'd end up in Nogales for sure. Then we'd DEFINITELY get you blown by a hooker with a club foot.
Then I'd be applying ointment for the next thirty years too.

[Brando]

Your dad has she-males with strap-on on his speed dial? :eek:
I have a don't ask don't tell policy about the old man.

[Brando]

Your dad's not friends with someone named "Cap'n Mike" is he?
LMAO..is that Captain Stabbin'? He makes some quality vid clips.
Aiight fuggas I'm out.

[Mr. Kotter]

I spent a night in jail this Summer. Sucked. Matter a fact, it sucked a lot. One suggestion, find a designated driver - I didn't. :banghead:

Sorry to hear that; you are probably pretty embarrassed that I'm smart enought to do that chit at home....or take a taxi. Heh.

Did "Bubba" make you his prison bi-atch?

jk, Chi.... :p

[ChiTown]

They held you overnight? Shitty. When I got my DUI they kicked me after they finished all the paperwork and whatnot.

Ohhhhhhhhh yeah. Hell, I even got breakfast - powdered eggs, warm milk, grits and miracle meat.

[Mr. Kotter]

Anyone else notice, a lot of Phil's threads inexorably gravitate toward anal sex.... :hmmm:

[OldTownChief]

They held you overnight? Shitty. When I got my DUI they kicked me after they finished all the paperwork and whatnot.

Here they have a chart for how long you stay. Higher level of intox. the longer you stay.

[ChiTown]

Sorry to hear that; you are probably pretty embarrassed that I'm smart enought to do that chit at home....or take a taxi. Heh.

Did "Bubba" make you his prison bi-atch?

jk, Chi.... :p

Uh, no. I was a bit bigger than most of my cellmates. I had about 20 roomies for the night. Standing room only...........

[ChiTown]

What's a .20 get ya?

dead

[OldTownChief]

dead


If not dead. Def. an overnight stay.

[Nightfyre]

dead
ive seen higher a .26 barely lived

[ChiTown]

I blew a 1.78. I really thought I was doing fine.................until I had to walk heal to toe. I nearly broke my neck.

[OldTownChief]

Hell mine was a .20. I remember them telling me at .30 you would be in a coma for sure and prob. die.

.

[keg in kc]

Uh, you're the one that brought up anal sex.From a she-male, no less. Obsessed.

[OldTownChief]

I blew a 1.78. I really thought I was doing fine.................until I had to walk heal to toe. I nearly broke my neck.

You mean .178

[WebGem]

Bedtime. If Hartwell is a Chief tomorrow, I will be a happy mother f*cker. Go Chiefs.

[Phobia]

Anyone else notice, a lot of Phil's threads inexorably gravitate toward anal sex.... :hmmm:

Harassing denverchief about it may have gotten you laid, but I promise it's not gonna work with me.

[ChiTown]

You mean .178

:) yes, .178

[ChiTown]

Heh... I'm guessing an accidentally misplaced decimal point on that one.

I knew I was f*cked. Scary thing is, I've driven in worse condition.


You know what's really ****ed up? When you wake up the next morning and have to ask around as to who drove the night before..............Uh, I did? :shake:

[Mr. Kotter]

Uh, you're the one that brought up anal sex.

Really? How do you explain this...

We'll definitely have to get shitty

:hmmm:

[ChiTown]

I liked waking up and finding my truck in the front yard.

The other guys in the fraternity weren't fans, though.

eh, **** em'.

I was lucky to get my car into the yard. I drove my motor cycle into my fraternity house all ****ed up one time. The house Mom was chasing me around. Funny shit/

[Mr. Kotter]

Shitty = drunk. Like "shitfaced"

Sure. Uh-huh.... :rolleyes:

[Nzoner]

Scary thing is, I've driven in worse condition.

Yep,it's amazing how in times like those you can actually see better with one eye closed.

[ChiTown]

Holy shit, D-Day!

heh, heh.........I never really thought of it like that. My GPA was better though.

[Phobia]

I can remember driving on 435 and using the steering wheel to hold myself upright. Yeah... that was bright.

I was kinda stupid back in the day, too. I remember hanging out the open door of a moving car yacking my guts out. A smart driver would have pulled the hell over, but I never claimed to be very smart, did I?

[Hammock Parties]

Drunk driving is bad...mmmkay?

[Phobia]

Drunk driving is bad...mmmkay?

Yeah. I'm not nearly that stupid now. I couldn't have been more than 17 then.

[booger]

I was kinda stupid back in the day, too. I remember hanging out the open door of a moving car yacking my guts out. A smart driver would have pulled the hell over, but I never claimed to be very smart, did I?

ROFL

Been there done that. On the interstate in the fast lane. Got road rash on my forehead and had to pick gravel out of my scalp.

[Hammock Parties]

Yeah. I'm not nearly that stupid now. I couldn't have been more than 17 then.

Damn. I don't think I had even tasted alcohol when I was 17.

[Rausch]

I was kinda stupid back in the day, too. I remember hanging out the open door of a moving car yacking my guts out.

It takes a special kind of dumbass to do-.......nevermind.

[Nzoner]

I was kinda stupid back in the day, too. I remember hanging out the open door of a moving car yacking my guts out. A smart driver would have pulled the hell over, but I never claimed to be very smart, did I?

My stupidest moment behind the wheel was in my early 20's,came to heading diagonally through a 4-way stop,got control of the car and somehow made it home without incident only to get my keys in the front door unlock it and fall thru face first passing out there till morning.

[Phobia]

ROFL

Been there done that. On the interstate in the fast lane. Got road rash on my forehead and had to pick gravel out of my scalp.

You did all that DRIVING and didn't crash?

That's an amazing tale.

[Phobia]

Damn. I don't think I had even tasted alcohol when I was 17.

By the time I was 17, I'd have had more pussy and alcohol than you'll have by the time you're 30.

[booger]

You did all that DRIVING and didn't crash?

That's an amazing tale.
Yes.

I didn't mention that I was coasting at 5 mph before I opened the door and eventually stopping. Thank god it was a manual tranny and I slipped it into neutral and came to a stop when I found the brake. Luckily it was a sunday morning around 7 am and I had slept for a couple of hrs before heading home but was still pretty tanked, not to mention the fact there wasn't any troopers let alone traffic at that point.

[Hammock Parties]

By the time I was 17, I'd have had more pussy and alcohol than you'll have by the time you're 30.

Loser!

[Nzoner]

I don't remember much about my time in the backseat, but the next day my buddy told me they were glad they put a seatbelt on me. Apparently every once in awhile they'd hear wind and turn around to see my door open and me hanging out puking... with just the seatbelt holding me in.

Reminded me of a sickening story here,carload of girls and one was hanging out the passenger window looking back and yelling at some guys in the car behind them.The driver in the girl's car got too close to the curb and a tree.Enough said.

[Rausch]

Haha... how long til you christen Fraz's new 'stang?

While the odds are good I'll get that drunk again, the odds aren't so good I'll get that drunk again and be allowed in his car...

[Nzoner]

Yeah, I've been amazingly lucky in my stupidity.

Just so you don't find yourself quoting Country Dick

"Look occifer I know you're a lil peeved
and I'm sorry about that chunk I blew on your sleeve..."

[booger]

The lack of law enforcement... or anyone else... on the road at 4am in Rolla was a large contributing factor to my drunk driving habit. It's hard to learn your lesson when there's no negative consequences to your actions.

I hear ya. :thumb:

Like most, I've done some crazy stupid shit, but have TRIED to wise up and be cautious. Never had any DUI's and tend to walk or sleep when I can. I should have numerous public urination tickets but I have been lucky there too. I've pissed in movie theaters in the isle, down flights of stairs in college dorms, in elevators, and even in one of those public popcorn maker things in the local convience store. Mostly just outside though. Something about nature I guess. Once the cold air hits mr. floppy it just flows.

[Phobia]

I hear ya. :thumb:

Like most, I've done some crazy stupid shit, but have TRIED to wise up and be cautious. Never had any DUI's and tend to walk or sleep when I can. I should have numerous public urination tickets but I have been lucky there too. I've pissed in movie theaters in the isle, down flights of stairs in college dorms, in elevators, and even in one of those public popcorn maker things in the local convience store. Mostly just outside though. Something about nature I guess. Once the cold air hits mr. floppy it just flows.

I whipped it out on Main in Virginia Beach one fine summer afternoon in 90. Everclear is bad.

[booger]

I whipped it out on Main in Virginia Beach one fine summer afternoon in 90. Everclear is bad.
Yep. I call that 92 octane. Fill er up. That shit will burn.

[Phobia]

Yep. I call that 92 octane. Fill er up. That shit will burn.

I don't think I've drank that shit since. If you do find yourself drinking it, do not mix your own.... I was mixing half coke/half grain.

On another note, Viagra got nothing on everclear. I made a gal pretty damn happy that night. Again and again and again and again.

[booger]

Funniest drunken piss story:

I was probably 10 or 11. Spent the night at a friends house. His dad was smashed and mistake my buddies bedroom for the bathroom. Anyway he lifts the lid to his fish tank, where you open it to feed the fish, and almost takes a piss in it. His dad did these things quite often when he was drunk as he had a sleep walking problem as well that magnified the drunkiness.

[Phobia]

I've got a buddy who got popped a couple times for pissing in public. He was told if he got one more he'd have to be a registered sex offender. I guess whippin' your weiner out in public is considered a sex crime in AZ even if it's to pee. Course, maybe telling him that was just a scare tactic... I've never bothered to do the research. Hell, it wasn't my ass, er penis, on the line.

Had a softball buddy get ticketed just outside our bar 2 summers ago. All he had to do was take 20 more steps and he'd have been right in front of a trough.

[booger]

I've got a buddy who got popped a couple times for pissing in public. He was told if he got one more he'd have to be a registered sex offender. I guess whippin' your weiner out in public is considered a sex crime in AZ even if it's to pee. Course, maybe telling him that was just a scare tactic... I've never bothered to do the research. Hell, it wasn't my ass, er penis, on the line.

I hate it when they get pissy about that.

Nothing wrong with taking a leak in public. I could see if there was kids around or something.

[keg in kc]

Drinking at home alone has its benefits. Haven't been arrested. Yet.

[Phobia]

Funniest drunken piss story:

Is that a challenge? In addition to the VA Beach story, I have an Oklahoma City story....

I happened to be in Oklahoma City on business in the week after the McVeigh drive by.... I was staying in a Holiday Inn with a bunch of FEMA workers. We were all feeling a little depressed the night the Karaoke dude was in the Hotel lounge and I really, really had too much.

For some reason, I felt the need to "water" the carpet in my room. Covered every square inch of that room relieving my body of the 15 or 20 brews I consumed that night.

I'm not a very bright man.

[booger]

I don't think I've drank that shit since. If you do find yourself drinking it, do not mix your own.... I was mixing half coke/half grain.

On another note, Viagra got nothing on everclear. I made a gal pretty damn happy that night. Again and again and again and again.


I knew a few girls who used to try it with koolaid. Never got any out of it. Probably the whole puking thing turned me off. That or me falling asleep while trying to perform a little carpet munching.

[keg in kc]

Holy shit, man. I bet housekeeping loved you.

I've got nothing on that story. My best was drinking pitchers of long island iced tea (yes, pitchers) as a guest musician at a 5-star resort and then projectile vomiting all over the room.

[booger]

Is that a challenge? In addition to the VA Beach story, I have an Oklahoma City story....

I happened to be in Oklahoma City on business in the week after the McVeigh drive by.... I was staying in a Holiday Inn with a bunch of FEMA workers. We were all feeling a little depressed the night the Karaoke dude was in the Hotel lounge and I really, really had too much.

For some reason, I felt the need to "water" the carpet in my room. Covered every square inch of that room relieving my body of the 15 or 20 brews I consumed that night.

I'm not a very bright man.

ROFL

Hope the room wasn't on your card.

[Hammock Parties]

On another note, Viagra got nothing on everclear. I made a gal pretty damn happy that night. Again and again and again and again.

I thought if you didn't need it and you took it you had a hard on for like 8 hrs?

[DenverChief]

Holy shit, man. I bet housekeeping loved you.

I've got nothing on that story. My best was drinking pitchers of long island iced tea (yes, pitchers) as a guest musician at a 5-star resort and then projectile vomiting all over the room.


Hey how you like my new avatar? STFU

[keg in kc]

Hey how you like my new avatar?What's a fag hag?

[booger]

Hey how you like my new avatar? STFU
Nah.

Her tits don't fit her body.

[Phobia]

ROFL

Hope the room wasn't on your card.

It was, but I doubt they noticed. I remember part of the reason I opted to water the carpet was that the hotel was a real shithole. Upon my next visit to Oklahoma City, Holiday Inn even decided to take their name off.

[booger]

I've mentioned it on here before I think, but a fraternity brother of mine while drunk and somewhere between awake and asleep pissed on the president.

The president was less than pleased.


Bet he got whooped.

[DenverChief]

What's a fag hag?


a straight chick that hangs around gay guys cuz they are so cute and innocent (they don't want down the girls pants)

[Phobia]

I knew a few girls who used to try it with koolaid. Never got any out of it. Probably the whole puking thing turned me off. That or me falling asleep while trying to perform a little carpet munching.

That was the problem, I think. I was in VA Beach with 3 girls and no dudes. They brought the everclear to make jungle juice.

[Rausch]

Holy shit, man. I bet housekeeping loved you.

I've got nothing on that story. My best was drinking pitchers of long island iced tea (yes, pitchers) as a guest musician at a 5-star resort and then projectile vomiting all over the room.

Sometime when Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan can't come along it I'll have to pass on a similar story...

[Rausch]

a straight chick that hangs around gay guys cuz they are so cute and innocent (they don't want down the girls pants)

You owe me pics BIDGE! :cuss:

[booger]

It was, but I doubt they noticed. I remember part of the reason I opted to water the carpet was that the hotel was a real shithole. Upon my next visit to Oklahoma City, Holiday Inn even decided to take their name off.

Sounds like a dive.

[Rausch]

That was the problem, I think. I was in VA Beach with 3 girls and no dudes. They brought the everclear to make jungle juice.

You MUST be drinking to tee up a post like this...

[Miles]

That was the problem, I think. I was in VA Beach with 3 girls and no dudes. They brought the everclear to make jungle juice.

I havent read any of this thread but that doesnt sound anything remotely like a problem.

[booger]

That was our general use for it. Kool Aid + lots of sugar to cover up the alcohol taste = really drunk girls.

That's the idea, but for some reason I thought I could take that, beer and tequila shots too.

Didn't work in my favor.

[Phobia]

I havent read any of this thread but that doesnt sound anything remotely like a problem.

It was a problem, trust me. The one I was humping was the only humpable one. The other was ENDelt's speed and the 3rd chick looked a lot like Ellen Degneris only more butch.

[booger]

That was the problem, I think. I was in VA Beach with 3 girls and no dudes. They brought the everclear to make jungle juice.


Always wanted to try 3. I'd need more hands and another dick.

[keg in kc]

a straight chick that hangs around gay guys cuz they are so cute and innocent (they don't want down the girls pants)Oh. That makes sense.

Why you asking me, anyway? I'm not much of an authority on avatars. My answer to that question from anybody would be: shit, my opinion doesn't matter; if you like it, keep it.

[Miles]

That's kind of an incomplete description, isn't it? Isn't there some manner of odd psychological dynamic involving them wanting to hook up with the dude on some level and being ultimately unfulfilled for obvious reasons?

Obviously, I will defer to your experience on this matter... that's just how the term was explained to me.

Yeah i had always though part of it was trying to get them to switch teams.

[booger]

It was a problem, trust me. The one I was humping was the only humpable one. The other was ENDelt's speed and the 3rd chick looked a lot like Ellen Degneris only more butch.
that's what paper bags are for.

[keg in kc]

Paper bags don't hide rolls.

[Rausch]

Paper bags don't hide rolls.

And then there are some chicks that make you put the bag on YOUR head...

[booger]

those are handle bars.

Them and pigtails. Sometimes ears too.

[Phobia]

Heh... so fat a smoker could catch her on foot?

She was a big gal and she liked to dance. When she got to rolling, I was rolling. That could have been some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. I remember that chick's name to this day. Denise. Swear to God.

I was in computer school in Quantico and my roommate was a little like uh - gochiefs.... I tried to get him to hump Denise and even HE turned her down. I guarantee you that dude hasn't had an opportunity to get laid since that day, too. He was THAT much of a dork.

[booger]

And then there are some chicks that make you put the bag on YOUR head...


I just give them the " i'd prefer to do you from behind" line.

[Miles]

Paper bags don't hide rolls.

I dont think they could hide butch dyke ether.

[keg in kc]

And then there are some chicks that make you put the bag on YOUR head...Like I said...paper bags don't hide rolls.

[Hammock Parties]

She was a big gal and she liked to dance. When she got to rolling, I was rolling. That could have been some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. I remember that chick's name to this day. Denise. Swear to God.

I was in computer school in Quantico and my roommate was a little like uh - gochiefs.... I tried to get him to hump Denise and even HE turned her down. I guarantee you that dude hasn't had an opportunity to get laid since that day, too. He was THAT much of a dork.

Good for him.

[Rausch]

I just give them the " i'd prefer to do you from behind" line.

Ok, now it's just ****ing obvious you've never stabbed a fattie...

[Phobia]

Let me elaborate on how much of a dork my Quantico roommate was....

I was boffing the VA Beach chick and also a chick from D.C. Eventually, they found out about one another. Guess how?

Yup - dipshit roommate got to feeling guilty and spilled the beans. "You know, you aren't the only girl Phil brings back here to **** with me listening but pretending to be sleeping, don't you?" Heh heh.

[booger]

Ok, now it's just ****ing obvious you've never stabbed a fattie...


I tried the " let me pin you legs up behind your ears" but she got offended.

[Rausch]

Let me elaborate on how much of a dork my Quantico roommate was....

I was boffing the VA Beach chick and also a chick from D.C. Eventually, they found out about one another. Guess how?

Yup - dipshit roommate got to feeling guilty and spilled the beans. "You know, you aren't the only girl Phil brings back here to **** with me listening but pretending to be sleeping, don't you?" Heh heh.

I take it he filed charges after you caved his skull in with a 9 iron...

[keg in kc]

He was just feeling left out. He wanted a little Phil, too.

[booger]

I was pokin' a gal for awhile that was amazingly flexible for her size. Had her ankles behind her ears on an regular basis.
real or fake legs?

[Miles]

Let me elaborate on how much of a dork my Quantico roommate was....

I was boffing the VA Beach chick and also a chick from D.C. Eventually, they found out about one another. Guess how?

Yup - dipshit roommate got to feeling guilty and spilled the beans. "You know, you aren't the only girl Phil brings back here to **** with me listening but pretending to be sleeping, don't you?" Heh heh.

Wait that doesnt make any sense. Hard to imagine any roomate would be that much of a bitch. I guess it would sort of be less shitty if he was trying to hook up with one of em...but im guessing thats not the case.

[Rausch]

real or fake legs? ROFL

[booger]

Wait that doesnt make any sense. Hard to imagine any roomate would be that much of a bitch. I guess it would sort of be less shitty if he was trying to hook up with one of em...but im guessing thats not the case.
sure sounds like a cock blocking little geek to me too.

[Hammock Parties]

Let me elaborate on how much of a dork my Quantico roommate was....

I was boffing the VA Beach chick and also a chick from D.C. Eventually, they found out about one another. Guess how?

Yup - dipshit roommate got to feeling guilty and spilled the beans. "You know, you aren't the only girl Phil brings back here to **** with me listening but pretending to be sleeping, don't you?" Heh heh.

Hmmm. Well I'd never do that.

Depending on the time of day I might leave the room. If I was already asleep you wouldn't wake me up.

[keg in kc]

I was pokin' a gal for awhile that was amazingly flexible for her size. Had her ankles behind her ears on an regular basis.Amazingly flexible...for her size. ROFL

My ex-wife was that flexible. Sometimes.

[booger]

Ha. Real. I've yet to f*ck an amputee.

The cook at our fraternity poked a midget. I haven't done that either... but the amputee mention reminded me of it. He was a dirty f*cker.

I consider my life incomplete before I fock either.

[Miles]

sure sounds like a cock blocking little geek to me too.

Yep definitly. Just sucks even hearing about shit like that.

[Phobia]

Wait that doesnt make any sense. Hard to imagine any roomate would be that much of a bitch. I guess it would sort of be less shitty if he was trying to hook up with one of em...but im guessing thats not the case.

Nah - he just had no social skills and he was feeling bad for them. Heh.

I still talk to one of them a couple times a year. She's a movie producer in Hollywood. She was only in D.C. for the summer and it was time to move on, anyway. The other one was pissed for a little while but she stuck around....

[keg in kc]

Nah - he just had no social skills and he was feeling bad for them.Shit, you won't find anybody with less social skill than me, and I'd never do that. That's inexcusable.

[Phobia]

Ha. Real. I've yet to f*ck an amputee.

The cook at our fraternity poked a midget. I haven't done that either... but the amputee mention reminded me of it. He was a dirty f*cker.

I'll bet a midget would be a lot of fun.

[Phobia]

Shit, you won't find anybody with less social skill than me, and I'd never do that. That's inexcusable.

Dude, you have more skills than you give yourself credit for....

[keg in kc]

I'll bet a midget would be a lot of fun.If you ever needed a "god my cock is HUGE" ego boost, a midget would be the way to go.

[keg in kc]

Dude, you have more skills than you give yourself credit for....I mean social skills in the 'get laid' sense. I've never been much of a player. But I'd never cock block. What an asshole...

[keg in kc]

That's the best part about hooking up with a five year old. Your dick looks HUGE in their hands.You're in the newspaper business, right?

[Phobia]

If you ever needed a "god my cock is HUGE" ego boost, a midget would be the way to go.

I would like to clarify that I was talking about a female midget, not the sword-fighting contest you apparently envisioned....

[booger]

I'll bet a midget would be a lot of fun.
You know, I really used to think that.

Until I saw a bridget the midget porn scene (the gal from Howard Stern) and it kinda freaked me out.

I'd still do the on legged chick from Duece Bigalow Male Jigalow though.

Gotta draw the line somewhere.

maybe I'd do a midget but just not tell anyone. Yeah, that's it.

[keg in kc]

I would like to clarify that I was talking about a female midget, not the sword-fighting contest you apparently envisioned....You know me. I like a little dick now and then as much as the next guy.

Wait, what?

[keg in kc]

Pop singer, actually.

Sorry... I'm missing the newspaper reference.Deadwood.

[booger]

That's the best part about hooking up with a five year old. Your dick looks HUGE in their hands.


Don't tell nobody.








That made me laugh.

[Hammock Parties]

You know me. I like a little dick now and then as much as the next guy.

Wait, what?

Hi, I'm the next guy.

[keg in kc]

Until I saw a bridget the midget porn scene (the gal from Howard Stern) and it kinda freaked me out.I'm actually (un)ashamed to admit I've seen midget porn too. There is something disquieting about it. In a bad way.

[keg in kc]

Hi, I'm the next guy.Shut up and go back to Skip's ass.

[Bearcat2005]

2 days ago, I called BS when Carl said they were turning their attention away from Linebackers.

Based upon information available to everybody who follows football and the fact that he's received no other offers from his other visits....

it is my opinion that Hartwell will be introduced as a Chief tomorrow morning.

You should be advised that I'm probably wrong. I haven't called any sources and nobody has called me to break any news. I'm just applying some deductive reasoning here.
I hope you are right!

[booger]

I'm actually (un)ashamed to admit I've seen midget porn too. There is something disquieting about it. In a bad way.
ROFL

Christ.

I feel like i am at an AA meeting.

[|Zach|]

I am here mother****ers!!

[Miles]

You know, I really used to think that.

Until I saw a bridget the midget porn scene (the gal from Howard Stern) and it kinda freaked me out.

I'd still do the on legged chick from Duece Bigalow Male Jigalow though.

Gotta draw the line somewhere.

maybe I'd do a midget but just not tell anyone. Yeah, that's it.

And you know the one legged chick would be probably well trained with the must work harder thing.

[booger]

And you know the one legged chick would be probably well trained with the must work harder thing.


Of course. She is pretty. How else would i get her?

[|Zach|]

Fin.

Du Monde.

[Rausch]

I am here mother****ers!!

'Bout ****ing time...

[keg in kc]

Christ.

I feel like i am at an AA meeting.No kidding. But at least there's the filter of the 'submit reply' button. Instead of "oh shit I can't believe I just said that" we get "oh shit, I can't believe I almost posted that. whew".

[booger]

Fin.

Du Monde.


penicilin will clear that right up.

[Rausch]

Fin.

Du Monde.

NEG REP!1!

[keg in kc]

'Bout ****ing time...I ****ing wish you ****ing ****ers would ****ing watch your ****ing mouths.

[booger]

No kidding. But at least there's the filter of the 'submit reply' button. Instead of "oh shit I can't believe I just said that" we get "oh shit, I can't believe I almost posted that. whew".
ROFL

[Rausch]

No kidding. But at least there's the filter of the 'submit reply' button. Instead of "oh shit I can't believe I just said that" we get "oh shit, I can't believe I almost posted that. whew".

I think that's why Rich doesn't respond to my PM's.

That filter, it don't work in person...

[|Zach|]

penicilin will clear that right up.
I hope not.

http://home.rochester.rr.com/sazerac/images/fin_du_monde.JPG

[Hammock Parties]

Shut up and go back to Skip's ass.

I'm posting from Skip's ass.

[Rausch]

I ****ing wish you ****ing ****ers would ****ing watch your ****ing mouths.

After completely RUINING Russ and Hack's kids I just quit caring...

[Miles]

Fin.

Du Monde.

I had ones of those at the bar earlier. They didnt have the proper glass though.

[keg in kc]

After completely RUINING Russ and Hack's kids I just quit caring...I never started caring.

[Rausch]

I hope not.

http://home.rochester.rr.com/sazerac/images/fin_du_monde.JPG

You put FROG S#!T inside you!?!

[Miles]

Hey, can someone bum me a ****ing cigarette?

Let me see if i can throw that far...

[booger]

I hope not.

http://home.rochester.rr.com/sazerac/images/fin_du_monde.JPG
ROFL

I got it now.

[Rausch]

Hey, can someone bum me a ****ing cigarette?

Sure.

But just so you know, I don't do delivery...

[Phobia]

You put FROG S#!T inside you!?!

It's Canadian.

[Miles]

You put FROG S#!T inside you!?!

Its ah Canadian.

[|Zach|]

I had ones of those at the bar earlier. They didnt have the proper glass though.
I was all over the place tonight. I have had a fun week...

Started out having dinner at an interesting seafood place called "fish" and getting 50% off bc one of the people with us worked there....make a 25 dollar meal well....less than 25 dollars :)

Moved on to Patton Alley Pub the only place where I could enjoy some Fin Du Monde....this was after I had some win at Fish.

Finished everything off at Ebbet's field my home bar.

Times are good my friends.

[|Zach|]

You put FROG S#!T inside you!?!
9% content dude.

:)

[Phobia]

Hey, can someone bum me a ****ing cigarette?

You haven't kicked your tobacco habit yet? I figure I'm saving about $80 a month.

[|Zach|]

Proper glass? Hell, I just drank it from the bottle.
They had a glass for it at Patten Alley Pub...it was cool.

[booger]

It's Canadian.
same thing.

[|Zach|]

You haven't kicked your tobacco habit yet? I figure I'm saving about $80 a month.
I feel so lucky that I have steered myself away from all of that.

[keg in kc]

The hottest chick I ever met was French.

I still can't believe I didn't f*ck her. Idiot. :shake:

[Hammock Parties]

I tried a cigarette once. I can't imagine why anyone would try it twice. :shrug:

[Phobia]

french Canadian

It counts. Their women shave.

[booger]

You haven't kicked your tobacco habit yet? I figure I'm saving about $80 a month.
30 bucks a week for me with cigs.

If I stay away from the bar.

[Phobia]

I tried a cigarette once. I can't imagine why anyone would try it twice. :shrug:

Smoke a Dunhill sometime.

I didn't smoke, but if every 7-11 had Dunhills I might.

[Miles]

french Canadian

Either way my liver doesnt care about politics.

[booger]

I tried a cigarette once. I can't imagine why anyone would try it twice. :shrug:

try a pussy. Once you pop, you can't stop.

[booger]

Heh... I've poked a couple American broads w/ pit hair.

immigrants? or just eskemo's.

[Miles]

I've never tried. I pretty much only smoke when I'm drinkin' anymore... been that way for awhile. I'm not interested in smoking all day like I used to... but, I like to have a smoke with my beer.

Yeah same here but im having bitch of a time even attempting to try and quit when im drinkin. Beer and smokes just work too well together.

[|Zach|]

Heh... I've poked a couple American broads w/ pit hair.
:(

[|Zach|]

I have made over 12 thousand posts on this board.

Thats ****ing awful

[booger]

Just... uh... well, I don't know what the hell their problem was.
something to hang on to and pull on anyway.

[keg in kc]

I have made over 12 thousand posts on this board.

Thats ****ing awfulThat's why I disappear for months at a time. Guilt. So I go waste time doing something else equally non-constructive.

[Hammock Parties]

try a pussy. Once you pop, you can't stop.

Do they have those at 7-11?

[|Zach|]

Well, it's not like I intended to lick their armpits anyway.
Ya but still.

[keg in kc]

Well, it's not like I intended to lick their armpits anyway.How'd you react when you found the twig and berries?

[Phobia]

Heh... I've poked a couple American broads w/ pit hair.

Dude. You really don't care where you put your dick, do you?

I consider myself a pretty virile fellow, but I'm not sure I could sustain much of anything upon discovery of pit hair, much less contain my lunch.

Did you go hug trees afterwards?

[keg in kc]

Do they have those at 7-11?You'd be surprised what you can find at 7-11 in the middle of the night.

[booger]

Well, it's not like I intended to lick their armpits anyway.

With that kinda hygene, I'd avoid lapping the bearded clam too.

[booger]

Do they have those at 7-11?
Maybe. Might have to pay for it.

[Ultra Peanut]

Did you go hug trees afterwards?Heh. Probably more like a toilet.

[Rausch]

french Canadian

I still can't belive that 10 years ago when Quebec wanted out the rest of Canada the majority didn't say "Later. Thanks for being the California of the great white north..."

[keg in kc]

I think pit hair would be easier to deal with than leg hair. Ugh.

[Phobia]

Heh, pretty much not. The first time i was kinda freaked out. I vaguely remember a conversation... (I was hammered, of course), but we were already naked, so f*ck it.

The second time, I'd seen it before so the reaction in my head was more like, "Huh, whaddya know? It happened again." I don't think I said anything out loud.

I'd have invited them to shave and then come to bed. I'm sorry. I'm not much for hairy pits. I realize it's a cultural thing, but I'm just not. That frightens me.

[Rausch]

That's why I disappear for months at a time. Guilt.

What is this "guilt?"

[keg in kc]

What is this "guilt?"Don't worry about it. I'm sure I have more than enough for both of us.

[booger]

I think pit hair would be easier to deal with than leg hair. Ugh.

Reminds me of the last trip to the strip joint.
(leg hair not pit hair)

I give a bitch a dollar for a lap dance at least she could have shaved that day. I hate that prickly shit.

[Phobia]

What is this "guilt?"

Something we 40,000 club members know little of, apparently. We also know little of sleep. Heh.

[|Zach|]

Something we 40,000 club members know little of, apparently. We also know little of sleep. Heh.
ROFL

[Phobia]

Heh... the first one never made it to a bed.

Dude, I promise I don't want any more details than the ones you've provided.

I'm trying to scare the image from my brain so I can sleep.

[Miles]

I'd have invited them to shave and then come to bed. I'm sorry. I'm not much for hairy pits. I realize it's a cultural thing, but I'm just not. That frightens me.

Luckly i havent run into the problem. Though i have hooked up with a chick that i was kind of expecting and was plesently suprised that there wasnt any. I see it as more of a hygiene thing that a cultural one.

[keg in kc]

I should be sleeping now, but I'm enjoying this beer too much.

[booger]

Heh... the first one never made it to a bed.
did she trim her bisquit at least?

[keg in kc]

Dude, I promise I don't want any more details than the ones you've provided.Oh, but he was just getting to the good part, about the wild jungle muff and the dingleberries.

[Miles]

I should be sleeping now, but I'm enjoying this beer too much.

I wish i had some right now. Im have wine and some really damn good beer that im saving. So im attacking the wine.

[Rausch]

I should be sleeping now, but I'm enjoying this beer too much.

If I did't have three 5 page papers due tommorow I'd have been in bed a good 15 miutes ago...

[keg in kc]

If I did't have three 5 page papers due tommorow I'd have been in bed a good 15 miutes ago...I wish to christ I could find some way to get myself to write.

[Phobia]

Oh, but he was just getting to the good part, about the wild jungle muff and the dingleberries.

and the rim job?

[Phobia]

In that case...

She was a DJ at the student radio station. I poked her on the floor of the broadcast booth during her show.

SHIT!!! Now you've ruined that story for me....

[keg in kc]

and the rim job?How else would he find the dingleberries?

[booger]

and the rim job?
suddenly the chocolate n peanut butter chunk ice cream don't sound no good.

[booger]

Nah, but she had very fine hair. I've seen more hair on the cooches of gals w/ clean pits.
I don't mind hair but prefer they trim around the good stuff. you know the kidney bean and the roast beef curtains.

[|Zach|]

So uhhhh. ya how about Bell or CP sucks or something like that..

ya?

ya?

[keg in kc]

I also ask how the girl feels about licking my ass on the first date. Somehow I don't get many second dates. Go figure.

[Miles]

She didn't give me a rim job, but I could tell about some girls that have.

I highly recommend it, btw.

Guess I need to get better at persuasion then.

[keg in kc]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I may like a girl lickin' my asshole, but I don't return the favor.That just made me laugh out loud for some reason. Shit, beer's empty.

[Phobia]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I may like a girl lickin' my asshole, but I don't return the favor.

It doesn't make you gay, ya know?

[Rausch]

I wish to christ I could find some way to get myself to write.

I've found that reading other people's $#it is a great motivator...

[Phobia]

Guess I need to get better at persuasion then.

Just rub a little peanutbutter on it.

[booger]

I'll lick it. Only if I get to spit in it and nail it afterwords.

[keg in kc]

You don't ask... when she's blowin' ya, and starts lickin' on your balls... just lean back a little further, and see what she does.Shit dude, it's been so long since I got blown, there's ****ing dustbunnies down there.

[Miles]

Just rub a little peanutbutter on it.

Not the angle im looking for.

[|Zach|]

You've confused me with Rob again.

ROFL

[booger]

Just rub a little peanutbutter on it.
Dude, he is talking about a chic, not the family dog.

[keg in kc]

I've found that reading other people's $#it is a great motivator...I still have the edit while I work hangup. And the whole 'failure' complex. Hopefully someday I'll outgrow that, because I don't want to be like this forever.

[|Zach|]

I can't type fast enough to join in on this thread.

Prob for the best.

Actually i know its for the bestr.

[keg in kc]

I'll lick it. Only if I get to spit in it and nail it afterwords.Darn tootin'.

Holy ****, did I just say darn tootin'?

[Phobia]

Heh, I'm not worried about bein' gay. You've confused me with Rob again.

I just don't want my tongue there... that's, uh.. dirty.

Says the dude who bangs chicks who don't shave....

I suppose you're scared to sharpen your pencil there, too?

[booger]

I thought the subject was human women, not your neighbor's collie.
ROFL
you sick mofo.

[keg in kc]

Um, take a shower.I did. Like last week.

[booger]

Darn tootin'.

Holy ****, did I just say darn tootin'?


Hey it happens. Just laugh it off, like a pussyfart.

[Hammock Parties]

Why would anyone want to lick someone else's asshole?

[Phobia]

Dude, he is talking about a chic, not the family dog.

You guys know way more about beastiality than I do, so I'll defer to your expertise.

[Miles]

I can't type fast enough to join in on this thread.

Prob for the best.

Actually i know its for the bestr.

If i can still manage it right now anyone can.

[|Zach|]

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zachishere/6243198/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://photos6.flickr.com/6243198_e852886668.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="A Picture Share!" /></a>

[Phobia]

Why would anyone want to lick someone else's asshole?

Roy, why don't you save those questions for your father. I'm not gonna explain why sex feels good for you.

[keg in kc]

Why would anyone want to lick someone else's asshole?'cause it feels good to their partner. It's called 'intimacy', although I don't know much about it anymore.

[|Zach|]

Why don't you work on why someone would want to talk to someone of the opposite sex before tackling such advanced subjects?
ROFL

[keg in kc]

You guys know way more about beastiality than I do, so I'll defer to your expertise.I know more than I want to. I remember back in the heyday of P2P, when I'd pull some porn offline thinking it was Kobe Tai and lo and behold it's a brazilian girl sucking off a goat. Ahh the good ol' days.

[Hammock Parties]

Roy, why don't you save those questions for your father. I'm not gonna explain why sex feels good for you.

I'm sure it feels good. But I think the whole "shite comes from this orifice" thing would turn the giver off.

[|Zach|]

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zachishere/6243261/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://photos4.flickr.com/6243261_ee27a58fb9.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="A Picture Share!" /></a>

[Hammock Parties]

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zachishere/6243261/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://photos4.flickr.com/6243261_ee27a58fb9.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="A Picture Share!" /></a>

Nice tits, Zach.

[keg in kc]

Aw shit, Zach's flashing his boobs again.

[booger]

You guys know way more about beastiality than I do, so I'll defer to your expertise.

Sadly I've seen that along with the midget porn too.

I got some email from college club.com or something a few years back with a german sheperd doing a chick and a mulatto chick sucking of a quarterhorse. Those were nasty yet funny.

Now the scat fettish stuff made me ill.

[Hammock Parties]

ROFL

http://img128.exs.cx/img128/2811/captfljc11203062336doralfljc11.jpg

[Phobia]

I'm sure it feels good. But I think the whole "shite comes from this orifice" thing would turn the giver off.

Yeah - before you think about that, you should probably master the "soap comes from this thing" concept.

[|Zach|]

I aim to please.

[keg in kc]

Now the scat fettish stuff made me ill.Oh hell yeah. I just don't get that. :Lin:

[Miles]

I'm sure it feels good. But I think the whole "shite comes from this orifice" thing would turn the giver off.

If a chick is willing why the hell would you care about that. Guess i would have been better off answering this one with Endelts response.

[booger]

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zachishere/6243261/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://photos4.flickr.com/6243261_ee27a58fb9.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="A Picture Share!" /></a>


Makes ya think of tittie focking and pearl necklaces don't it?

[|Zach|]

Makes ya think of tittie focking and pearl necklaces don't it?
Indeed

[keg in kc]

I'm sure it feels good. But I think the whole "shite comes from this orifice" thing would turn the giver off.And the vagina is just this temple of clean that smells of perfume and elderberries.

[Hammock Parties]

Man this is one dirty thread. I hope none of our mothers see this thread!

[booger]

Oh hell yeah. I just don't get that. :Lin:
those are the same damn kids that crapped in the sink in preschool.

[Hammock Parties]

And the vagina is just this temple of clean that smells of perfume and elderberries.

Shit certainly doesn't come from it.

[|Zach|]

Man this is one dirty thread. I hope none of our mothers see this thread!
When you don't live with your mother you dont worry about things of that nature,

[Hammock Parties]

When you don't live with your mother you dont worry about things of that nature,

It was a joke, Zach.

[booger]

Man this is one dirty thread. I hope none of our mothers see this thread!


Don't say mothers. It makes me think older milf. and then we'll get on the twat looking like a mangled loose meat sandwhich and such.