I don't even know what to say ...

[DenverChief]

Dumbass of the century? :shake:


FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) -- An applicant set to take an exam to join the Florida Highway Patrol was arrested Monday, accused of leading troopers on a racing-speed motorcycle chase in rush-hour traffic.

''We told him, don't bother showing up,'' FHP spokesman Lt. Julio Pajon said of David Carpenter, 24. ''Getting arrested is an automatic disqualifier.''

Carpenter was to take his physical for the patrol next week, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

For weeks, troopers and local police have spotted the same biker, cutting through traffic at speeds of up to 140 mph. He managed to flee at least twice and almost caused wrecks involving troopers, Pajon said.

Monday morning, troopers were waiting for him, using an airplane and stationed strategically along the highway. Soon enough, Carpenter was leading a chase, at one point heading south in the northbound lanes and later smashed the cycle's front rim by hurling over a curb to avoid a tollbooth, police reports said.

Carpenter outran troopers in cars, but the airplane shadowed him to his apartment in south Miami-Dade County. When troopers arrived moments later, they saw Carpenter outside, pretending to wash his car.

The cycle was not in sight and Carpenter denied being the cyclist, Pajon said, but it appears his pooch gave him up.

The dog came up to a window, moved a vertical blind and barked at the troopers outside, a report said. A trooper looked inside and saw the motorcycle.

Also inside: Carpenter's application for the FHP.

Police charged Carpenter with three counts of aggravated fleeing, two counts of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and one count of reckless driving. He also received a citation for bending back his license tag from plain sight.

No telephone listing for a David Carpenter at his address was available late Monday.

The dog deserves a treat tho :D

[Frazod]

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess.

Or at least attempt to. :D

[DenverChief]

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess.

Or at least attempt to. :D


Heh I'm sure it would have come out in the poly when they asked him if he had ever engaged in any undetected crimes....uh yeah ....:LOL:

[4th and Long]

After he did his jail time, I'd sign the guy to head up the high speed chases division, or at least teach other cops how to drive. He must be one hell of a driver to get away that many times.

[Frazod]

Heh I'm sure it would have come out in the poly when they asked him if he had ever engaged in any undetected crimes....uh yeah ....:LOL:

Actually, he might have been able to beat that, since he probably believes he didn't do anything wrong.

The truth can be subjective like that.

[DenverChief]

Actually, he might have been able to beat that, since he probably believes he didn't do anything wrong.

The truth can be subjective like that.

very true ...just depends on how guilty his conscious is...

[stevieray]

I wonder if he can play tight end?

[Calcountry]

Who said dog's were a mans best friend. :shrug:

[Skip Towne]

Aggravated assault on a police officer? Uh, I guess I missed that part of the story.
Me too. I don't think they told us that part. Two brilliant guys like us couldn't have missed it.

[DenverChief]

Aggravated assault on a police officer? Uh, I guess I missed that part of the story.

He managed to flee at least twice and almost caused wrecks involving troopers, Pajon said.

[stevieray]

I didn't miss the aggravated fleeing and reckless driving part. I'm looking for the assault.

I guess ALMOST causing an officer to wreck is assault?

[DenverChief]

I didn't miss the aggravated fleeing and reckless driving part. I'm looking for the assault.


depends on the state but swinging and missing at someone is simple assualt

[DenverChief]

When did he take a swing?


you miss my point if almost hitting someone is simple assualt almost causing someone to get into an accident.....

[Skip Towne]

depends on the state but swinging and missing at someone is simple assualt
In Kansas, telling someone you are going to kick their ass is assault. Doing it is battery.

[Rain Man]

After he did his jail time, I'd sign the guy to head up the high speed chases division, or at least teach other cops how to drive. He must be one hell of a driver to get away that many times.


Yeah, harness his power for good instead of for stupid.

[DenverChief]

is completely different entirely.

not according to the legislature and unfortunatly (depending on who you are) they have the last say :shrug:

[DenverChief]

In Kansas, telling someone you are going to kick their ass is assault. Doing it is battery.


yeah I always thought that was kinda funny

[DenverChief]

Bah. What do those idiots know?


ROFL not a damn thing if you ask me ;)

[Eleazar]

Kinda reminds me of when I was in traffic school after getting my DUI. The instructor started feeding us some nonsense about in AZ you can get a DUI w/out actually driving anywhere (which, sounds counterintuitive... y'know what with the charge being called *driving* under the influence and all).

Now, I don't have any doubt that some prick AZ cop would slap a DUI charge on ya even when you weren't driving given the chance, but I questioned the ability of the charge to stick. So, the instructor tells some story about a gal who got popped for just sitting in her car. Didn't even have the keys in the ignition... and got 10 days in the can for it. As I slipped on my hipwaders, I remarked that she should've hired a lawyer. I seem to recall the instructor pulling some shit that she did hire a lawyer, but there was nothing that could be done. That's just the law.

Right. I WAS driving, friend. The cop saw me and everything. Then, I blew a .20. *I* didn't spend 10 days in the clink. If someone who wasn't even driving hired a lawyer and still spent 10 days in jail, that was a shitty, shitty lawyer.

It takes a lot of nerve to sit in a room full of people with DUIs and lie to them about the process they've either already been through, or are at present going through.

Heh... I think I kinda strayed from whatever the f*ck my original point was there. Oh well.

I've also heard that if you are in the driver's seat and have the keys they can get you for it, but it does seem hard to believe that its done much.

[Eleazar]

Admittedly, I don't know AZ law chapter and verse, but I do know that upon first meeting with my lawyer one of the first things he asked me was if the cop actually saw me driving.

How would he get you if he didn't see you driving?

Now, if my DUI lawyer thinks that's relevant information, I'm gonna guess there's really a decent possibility that it is. In any event, I'm more likely to listen to him than some dumb twat that memorized the penalties for running a red light and spends her Saturday afternoons regurgitated that information for rejects.

Yeah, sounds like the time one of my teachers said that if you unwrapped a pack of cigarettes and ate the tobacco you'd die. Course she also claimed that her husband once drank a bottle of Jack and a case of beer in the same night. Unless she's married to Andre the Giant her credibility was shot after that.

[Anyong Bluth]

Bruce Smith got out of his DUI - he had the keys in the ignition but was on the side of the road - by law its a DUI but the jury let him off

[Rain Man]

I'm curious, Enddelt. What were the other people in the class like?

[Eleazar]

Arrive somewhere and find you passed out in the driver's seat. Son of a bitch... now that I'm thinking about it, that happened to a buddy of mine. I think there may have been some pretty strong evidence to suggest he'd been driving it, though. Like, the engine was running... and the car was in the middle of the road. I don't actually recall if that was one of his DUIs or not, though. He has so many drunken run-ins with the cops I get them confused.

Yeah, well if this means anything, I have seen them on COPS find people passed out in their cars with the engine running and give them DUI's


Did she specify the size of the bottle? I could probably polish off a pint of Jack and put a pretty healthy dent in a case.

I think she said something like 'a whole bottle' but I don't remember, it was like 6 years ago. My impression was definitely that she didn't mean a pint or anything, whatever the worlding was. The room erupted in 'BS' sighs immediately.