View Full Version : Help help there's an alien outside my house
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 10:54 PM
A big scary one. What should I do?
Deberg_1990
05-06-2005, 10:55 PM
Lame...
Ultra Peanut
05-06-2005, 10:56 PM
Chase him off with your lightsaber and go back to bed, you silly twat.
Ultra Peanut
05-06-2005, 10:56 PM
And don't forget your headgear before you go out there!
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 10:57 PM
Chase him off with your lightsaber and go back to bed, you silly twat.
I can't do that! There might be more out there.
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 10:58 PM
Get yourself abducted. I hear lots of stories about hot alien chicks collecting human "seed".
Rain Man
05-06-2005, 10:59 PM
Put something large in all of your orifices so they can't probe you.
Logical
05-06-2005, 11:01 PM
Why, why, why do I open his threads :banghead:
I guess it is like a car wreck you just have to look.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:01 PM
SHIT SHIT IT'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW!
jspchief
05-06-2005, 11:04 PM
I'd ask it if they have a cure for "loser" on their planet...
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:05 PM
This may be the gayest thread ever. You've truly gone where no man has gone before.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:06 PM
It's in the room. It's just staring at me.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:07 PM
This may be the gayest thread ever. You've truly gone where no man has gone before.
You made it laugh. It wants to post something.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:08 PM
I'm giving the computer to Xlibutscrale now.
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:10 PM
I'm giving the computer to Xlibutscrale now.Hopefully it'll keep it.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:10 PM
GRREETINGS EALRHTINGS. I WILL ATTEMPT TO USETHIS PRIMTIVE COMMUNICATION DEVICEE. MY MONIKER IS XLIBUTSCRALE OF THE GALAXIES SEVENTEEEEN.
WTF IS GOING ON, EARTHLING?
Bowser
05-06-2005, 11:11 PM
He's no "alien". He's just from down the road a bit........
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:14 PM
He's no "alien". He's just from down the road a bit........
AM I UNDERSTANDING THAT THISSS IS JOKE MADE OF EARTHLING? I WILL ATTEMPT YOUR STYLE OF LAUGHING: HA HA HA HA. SUCCESSSS, YES?
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE OF THIS PLANETOID. WHAT CAN YOU OF THE PLANET TELL ME?
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:15 PM
We worship a goddess known as tubgirl. You can find her temples through google.com.
Deberg_1990
05-06-2005, 11:16 PM
Is this the new "night crew" thread??
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:17 PM
Is this the new "night crew" thread??Well, I'm looking for some motivation to keep normal sleeping hours. This sure as f*ck fits the bill.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:17 PM
We worship a goddess known as tubgirl. You can find her temples through google.com.
THANKING OF YOU, KEGINKC.
I WILL EXPLORE SAID WORSHIP ITEM OF YOUR PEOPLES PLANET.
I WILL NOW FIELD QUESTIONING FROM ALL OF YOUS. WHAT ARE WE WISHING TO KNOW OF?
stevieray
05-06-2005, 11:17 PM
AM I UNDERSTANDING THAT THISSS IS JOKE MADE OF EARTHLING? I WILL ATTEMPT YOUR STYLE OF LAUGHING: HA HA HA HA. SUCCESSSS, YES?
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE OF THIS PLANETOID. WHAT CAN YOU OF THE PLANET TELL ME?
the earthling next to you requires assimilation.
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:20 PM
the earthling next to you requires assimilation.
GRACIOUS THANKS, STEVIERAY. UNFORTUNATE THAT IT IS WE ARE NOT REQUIRING ANY SUBJECTS OF STUDY AT THIS PRESENT MOMENT.
Bowser
05-06-2005, 11:21 PM
Aren't you going to ask us if we want the Big Gun, or the Good Package?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Ultra Peanut
05-06-2005, 11:23 PM
What if... what if it REALLY IS AN ALIEN USING GOCHIEFS' COMPUTER?! :eek:
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHIT, MR XLIBUTSCELSIORPANTS!
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:23 PM
Aren't you going to ask us if we want the Big Gun, or the Good Package?
ALL WILL DECIDE AT SOME POINT IN FUTURE. FOR NOW I SIMPLY REQUEST QUESTIONS OF YOU AND OTHERS. YOUR PICTURE APPEARS AS A ROBOT ON MY SHIP...THE RESEMBLANCING IS UNCANNY, EARTHLING.
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:23 PM
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?Will the gayification of the Planet never stop?!?!
Bowser
05-06-2005, 11:24 PM
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
One
Tah-HOOOO
Three *crunch*
Three.
Logical
05-06-2005, 11:26 PM
Hopefully it'll keep it.
Amazingly it appears this was a bad call. Who would have believed there could be something worse?
keg in kc
05-06-2005, 11:26 PM
Amazingly it appears this was a bad call. Who would have believed there could be something worse?Yeah, not my best work there.
Time to go watch a movie I think.
Ultra Peanut
05-06-2005, 11:27 PM
Do you like pizza, XLUBITSCELFANDI?
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:27 PM
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
THIS EXISTS AS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, TK13. ALAS, MY SPECIES GREATEST MINDS HAVE DEVOTED THEIR LIVING TO ACQUIRING THE SOLUTION TO YOUR INQUIRY, AND HAVE REACHED NO ANSWERING. I SHOULD INFORM TK13 THAT ON MY HOME PLANETOID OF FLIXRAN, WE LABEL YOUR "TOOTSIE ROLL POP" as "GRISHCLOR SIMSOXE."
Hammock Parties
05-06-2005, 11:28 PM
What if... what if it REALLY IS AN ALIEN USING GOCHIEFS' COMPUTER?! :eek:
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHIT, MR XLIBUTSCELSIORPANTS!
PSICOSIS, THE MONIKER OF I IS XLIBUTSCRALE. PLEASE CORRECT FUTURE STATEMENTS OR I WILL BE FORCED TO ATOMIZE YOUR STATE. MANY THANKINGS.
trndobrd
05-07-2005, 12:45 AM
XLIBUTSCRALE, a few of our species are weaker than the rest. These pitiful beings, in their early years, provide amusement for the strong by taking their rightful place as the center of cruel jokes and giving up their midday nourishment allowances after physical assault. As these sad creatures grow into a state of submaturity (they never reach full maturity, flawed as they are), they become paranoid, unable form interpersonal relationships, and upset the delicate balance of the species.
A far advanced species, such as yours, must have some way of eliminating these types. Do your people identify and eliminate them early in their lives, or wait until later to destroy them?
Would you please demonstrate the means your species uses to eliminate such undesirables? Feel free to use the candidate there in the room with you.
Thank you.
el borracho
05-07-2005, 12:52 AM
Wow, all we need now is to get this guy in some kind of writing competition with TommyKat, Kcnut, drunk kotter and skinbra.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 12:54 AM
XLIBUTSCRALE, a few of our species are weaker than the rest. These pitiful beings, in their early years, provide amusement for the strong by taking their rightful place as the center of cruel jokes and giving up their midday nourishment allowances after physical assault. As these sad creatures grow into a state of submaturity (they never reach full maturity, flawed as they are), they become paranoid, unable form interpersonal relationships, and upset the delicate balance of the species.
A far advanced species, such as yours, must have some way of eliminating these types. Do your people identify and eliminate them early in their lives, or wait until later to destroy them?
Would you please demonstrate the means your species uses to eliminate such undesirables? Feel free to use the candidate there in the room with you.
Thank you.
TRNDOBRD, MANY THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTIONAIRE.
UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL I HAVE BEEN ABSENT FROM MY HOMEWORLD OF FLIXRAN FOR MANY YEARS. TIMES MAY HAVE CHANGED.
TO ANSWER YOUR INQUIRY, I CAN ONLY RESPOND WITH MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES. YOU SEE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THESE "PITIFUL BEINGS," OR AS WE REFER TO THEM ON FLIXRAN, "ENWOT PIKS." WE WOULD CLEANSE OUR NOBLE SOCIETY OF THESE DREGS BY PUTTING THEM TO WORK IN ZOPRANG MINES. FORTUNATELY I ESCAPED FROM THIS LIFE AND AM NOW A SUCCESSFUL GALAXIAL EXPLORER.
IT IS WITH REGRET THAT I CANNOT USE MY GRACIOUS EARTHLING HOST TO DEMONSTRATE OUR CUSTOM TO YOU. BESIDES, HE IS NOT A VERY GOOD REPRESENTATION ONE OF OUR ENWOT PIKS.
IT IS MY HOPING THAT I HAVE SATISFIED YOU.
ALSO THIS "PEPSI" BEVERAGE YOU EARTHLINGS CONSUME IS QUITE TASTY. MY COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR TERRAN CHEFS.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 12:58 AM
Wow, all we need now is to get this guy in some kind of writing competition with TommyKat, Kcnut, drunk kotter and skinbra.
ELBORRACHO, I HAVE BEEN HAMPERED BY USE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE COMMUNICATION INSTRUMENTS (WE FLIXRANS TRADITIONALLY COMMUNICATE VIA PURE THOUGHT), BUT I HAVE ADAPTED QUITE QUICKLY, WOULDN'T YOU CONCUR?
YOU SEE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THESE "PITIFUL BEINGS," OR AS WE REFER TO THEM ON FLIXRAN, "ENWOT PIKS."
ROFL Wow.
trndobrd
05-07-2005, 01:00 AM
TRNDOBRD, MANY THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTIONAIRE.
UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL I HAVE BEEN ABSENT FROM MY HOMEWORLD OF FLIXRAN FOR MANY YEARS. TIMES MAY HAVE CHANGED.
TO ANSWER YOUR INQUIRY, I CAN ONLY RESPOND WITH MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES. YOU SEE, I USED TO BE ONE OF THESE "PITIFUL BEINGS," OR AS WE REFER TO THEM ON FLIXRAN, "ENWOT PIKS." WE WOULD CLEANSE OUR NOBLE SOCIETY OF THESE DREGS BY PUTTING THEM TO WORK IN ZOPRANG MINES.
IT IS WITH REGRET THAT I CANNOT USE MY GRACIOUS EARTHLING HOST TO DEMONSTRATE OUR CUSTOM TO YOU. BESIDES, HE IS NOT A VERY GOOD REPRESENTATION ONE OF OUR ENWOT PIKS.
IT IS MY HOPING THAT I HAVE SATISFIED YOU. ALSO THIS "PEPSI" BEVERAGE YOU EARTHLINGS CONSUME IS QUITE TASTY. MY COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR TERRAN CHEFS.
I am most pleased that you enjoy our "pepsi". It is best enjoyed with another Earth beverage known as Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. The subhuman creature in the room with you was trying to hide that information from you.
Being new to our humble planet, you have not had a full opportunity to judge our species. Please, rest assured, the being in the room with you is among the foulest of what you would call "ENWOT PIKS". The eternal friendship of our peoples would be secure if you would be so kind as to rid our planet of this creature.
Humanity thanks you in advance.
Logical
05-07-2005, 01:01 AM
ROFL Wow.Someone should really make sure Skip gets this one.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 01:05 AM
I am most pleased that you enjoy our "pepsi". It is best enjoyed with another Earth beverage known as Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. The subhuman creature in the room with you was trying to hide that information from you.
MANY THANKS FOR YOUR CULINARY ADVICE, EARTHLING. MY HOST HAS HIDDEN NOTHING FROM ME, AS MY SPACECRAFT'S SENSOR CATALOGUED HIS FOOD AND BEVERAGE INVENTORY FROM ORBIT. I TAKE IT THIS "RUM" IS A FORM OF MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCE. SUCH A DEVICE IS LETHAL TO OUR KIND. WE PREFER PURE DISTILLED FLIXRANSIAN RAIN TO, AS YOUR KIND SAYS, "GET US HIGH."
Being new to our humble planet, you have not had a full opportunity to judge our species. Please, rest assured, the being in the room with you is among the foulest of what you would call "ENWOT PIKS". The eternal friendship of our peoples would be secure if you would be so kind as to rid our planet of this creature.
YOUR REQUEST MAY BE FILLED, ALTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT IN THE MANNER YOU WISH. MY HOST'S ADVANCED BRAIN HAS INTRIGUED MY SUPERIORS ON FLIXRAN AND THEY DESIRE HIS PRESENCE FOR STUDY. MY HOST HAS INDICATED HE WOULD BE HONORED, PROVIDED WE SKIP THE ANAL PROBING.
elvomito
05-07-2005, 01:06 AM
ROFL Wow.
that actually was humorous
trndobrd
05-07-2005, 01:14 AM
MANY THANKS FOR YOUR CULINARY ADVICE, EARTHLING. MY HOST HAS HIDDEN NOTHING FROM ME, AS MY SPACECRAFT'S SENSOR CATALOGUED HIS FOOD AND BEVERAGE INVENTORY FROM ORBIT. I TAKE IT THIS "RUM" IS A FORM OF MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCE. SUCH A DEVICE IS LETHAL TO OUR KIND. WE PREFER PURE DISTILLED FLIXRANSIAN RAIN TO, AS YOUR KIND SAYS, "GET US HIGH."
YOUR REQUEST MAY BE FILLED, ALTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT IN THE MANNER YOU WISH. MY HOST'S ADVANCED BRAIN HAS INTRIGUED MY SUPERIORS ON FLIXRAN AND THEY DESIRE HIS PRESENCE FOR STUDY. MY HOST HAS INDICATED HE WOULD BE HONORED, PROVIDED WE SKIP THE ANAL PROBING.
As you wish. As a representative of the Planet Earth, please take the pitiful little creature with you as a token of our esteem and friendship. May discecting his brain provide you many moments of enjoyment.
It is said by some, that a tenth of the Earth people do not find the anal probing distrubing. The creature in your presence may be one of these. It is also possible he is attempting to hide other things from you. I suggest you utilize your largest probe to investigate these matters futher.
Logical
05-07-2005, 01:16 AM
...
YOUR REQUEST MAY BE FILLED, ALTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT IN THE MANNER YOU WISH. MY HOST'S ADVANCED BRAIN HAS INTRIGUED MY SUPERIORS ON FLIXRAN AND THEY DESIRE HIS PRESENCE FOR STUDY. MY HOST HAS INDICATED HE WOULD BE HONORED, PROVIDED WE SKIP THE ANAL PROBING.
With that restriction how will you study his brain?
trndobrd
05-07-2005, 01:21 AM
With that restriction how will you study his brain?
ROFL
el borracho
05-07-2005, 01:25 AM
Was this thread deleted and subsequently un-deleted?
Rausch
05-07-2005, 01:26 AM
I really feel like kicking a dog right now, but I'm not taking one off iggy just to do it...
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 01:35 AM
Was this thread deleted and subsequently un-deleted?
IT APPEARS SO. APPARENTLY THE CHANCE OF CONTACT WITH AN ADVANCED RACE SUCH AS MINE WAS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP. I AM GRATEFUL, FOR OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BEEN FORCED TO STRONGLY CONSIDER VAPORIZING LARGE LAND MASSES.
Tribal Warfare
05-07-2005, 01:40 AM
Help help there's an alien outside my house
don't let him shove anything up your butt unless you like that .
:spank:
el borracho
05-07-2005, 01:52 AM
W should have some kind of witching hour on the planet where deleted threads are un-deleted for a short time, maybe midnight to 2am. Imagine the fun of revisiting Kotter's meltdown. There must be others.
W should have some kind of witching hour on the planet where deleted threads are un-deleted for a short time, maybe midnight to 2am. Imagine the fun of revisiting Kotter's meltdown. There must be others.
Yeah, like that time Taco John posted all those pictures of himself in pink lingerie... not pretty.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 01:59 AM
IT HAS BEEN ENLIGHTENING. I AM GETTING A RED LIGHT ON MY GALAXIAL COMMUNICATOR, HOWEVER. I MUST MAKE PREPARATIONS FOR MY NEXT TRIP. SOON YOUR PLANETOID'S ROTATION WILL BRING THE LIGHT OF YOUR STAR TO MY LOCATION, MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR AN UNDETECTED TAKEOFF. THANKFULLY YOUR PRIMITIVE AIR TRACKING SYSTEM IS NO MATCH FOR MY STEALTH COMPUTER.
I HAVE OBTAINED THE SCHEMATICS TO ONE OF YOUR "PERSONAL COMPUTERS," THEREFORE I WILL RETURN FROM TIME TO TIME.
IN PROPER FLIXRANSIAN FASHION, I BID YOU ALL "FAJLAKIKAFOZLOM."
YOURS, XLIBUTSCRALE.
el borracho
05-07-2005, 02:04 AM
Yeah, like that time Taco John posted all those pictures of himself in pink lingerie... not pretty.
See? there is something I missed that sticks out in your mind about Chiefsplanet. Why was it deleted, do you remember?
Logical
05-07-2005, 02:05 AM
See? there is something I missed that sticks out in your mind about Chiefsplanet. Why was it deleted, do you remember?Yes the legend of the pink lingerie was quite a tale.
el borracho
05-07-2005, 02:08 AM
Was it just silly photoshop stuff like Phil's pink socks or was this really Taco in pink lingerie?
Ultra Peanut
05-07-2005, 02:10 AM
You know, I think XLUBENSTEIN seemed like a pretty good guy.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 02:11 AM
You know, I think XLUBENSTEIN seemed like a pretty good guy.
Yeah, he's OK.
You know, I think XLUBENSTEIN seemed like a pretty good guy.
I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.
Ultra Peanut
05-07-2005, 02:13 AM
I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.Even Jimmy Kimmell won more than you.
Rausch
05-07-2005, 02:14 AM
I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.
He always bluffs when he gets a pair of 4's...
Logical
05-07-2005, 02:14 AM
I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.
You would not have liked it, it said TSURT EW SINEP NI.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 02:15 AM
I agree, but I couldn't win any of his money.
He told me they don't have money on Flixran. Also, you should see that guy type.
You would not have liked it, it said TSURT EW SINEP NI.
That is true. I hear their neighboring planet, "SEBAB TOH", is a really nice place to visit, but their species just drives around it a few times before hurdling themselves in the opposite direction back through the galaxy, so the currency doesn't have much value except on their home planet.
He told me they don't have money on Flixran. Also, you should see that guy type.
He may be scientifically advanced, but I bet I could kick his ass at minesweeper.
Logical
05-07-2005, 02:18 AM
That is true. I hear their neighboring planet, "SEBAB TOH", is a really nice place to visit, but their species just drives around it a few times before hurdling themselves away from it back through the galaxy, so the currency doesn't have much value except on their home planet.
That just never gets old. :clap:
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 02:23 AM
He may be scientifically advanced, but I bet I could kick his ass at minesweeper.
Maybe the first time. Did you see how quickly he learned to type?
el borracho
05-07-2005, 02:25 AM
Maybe the first time. Did you see how quickly he learned to type?
How can you be so sure it was a he?
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 02:28 AM
How can you be so sure it was a he?
When he wasn't replying to your questions, he was checking out the girly thread.
Rausch
05-07-2005, 02:29 AM
How can you be so sure it was a he?
Because Gochiefs was aroused...
el borracho
05-07-2005, 02:37 AM
Both answers made me laugh. Repping you two will be my last act of the evening.
g'night.
Hammock Parties
05-07-2005, 03:59 PM
What, no hall of classics consideration?
Bob Dole
02-10-2006, 08:19 AM
Was it just silly photoshop stuff like Phil's pink socks or was this really Taco in pink lingerie?
Phil's pink socks were not Photoshopped.
Skip Towne
02-10-2006, 08:42 AM
This thread set the Planet back five years.
Hammock Parties
02-10-2006, 08:45 AM
This thread set the Planet back five years.
The Power Of Xlibutscrale.
Ultra Peanut
02-10-2006, 10:04 AM
X GON GIVE IT TO YA
ck_IN
02-10-2006, 10:05 AM
break out the barbequeue sauce and fire up the grill!
I got dibs on the drumstick.
Hammock Parties
02-10-2006, 10:27 AM
X GON GIVE IT TO YA
Dude, what movie is that?
Ultra Peanut
02-10-2006, 10:32 AM
STAY OUT MY WAY MUTHA****A
Rain Man
02-10-2006, 10:42 AM
There's a big alley behind my house.
Hammock Parties
02-10-2006, 10:47 AM
There's a big alley behind my house.
Any aliens out back?
Rain Man
02-10-2006, 10:52 AM
Any aliens out back?
I suspect that a couple of guys working construction on my neighbor's house are aliens.
Rainbarrel
03-24-2023, 05:16 PM
This one had pictures of it after it came inside
Maybe it was real!
Xlibutscrale
03-24-2023, 05:23 PM
This one had pictures of it after it came inside
Maybe it was real!
I WAS ALWAYS REEL, EARTHLINGG
Rainbarrel
03-24-2023, 05:25 PM
My poop stinks. Like really bad
Xlibutscrale
03-24-2023, 05:28 PM
My poop stinks. Like really bad
WE ANALYSED YOUR FECAL EMISSIONZ FROM ORBIT, RAINBARREL.
YOU WERE NOT SELECTED FOR ABDUCTION OR PROBING BASED ON OUR FINDINGZ.
Pepe Silvia
03-24-2023, 05:29 PM
I was in college when you posted this.
MarkDavis'Haircut
03-25-2023, 07:50 AM
This thread was something.
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