Some funny athlete quotes

[Hammock Parties]

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all
dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all them kids to
copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother
to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders "To win, I'd run over
Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then
line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don
King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color
photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell
my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder
if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: I told him, 'Son,
what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't
know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four F's and one D. "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costa's
why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because
she is too ugly to kiss good-by."

[FloridaChief]

Your lamest thread ever. Zero entertainment value. Was this what you were aiming for?

[Hammock Parties]

Your lamest thread ever. Zero entertainment value. Was this what you were aiming for?

C'mon some of those are funny.

[Bowser]

Heh. Those are good.

[Bowser]

Your lamest thread ever. Zero entertainment value. Was this what you were aiming for?


.....or not......

ROFL

[FloridaChief]

C'mon some of those are funny.

Seriously--Are you asleep right now?

[Hammock Parties]

Heh. Those are good.

VINDICATION!

[Mastashake]

Just look up Yogi Berra...that guy was gold for funny sayings.

Mastashake

[tk13]

Not one quote from John McKay? Come on now...

[Judge Smails]

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: I told him, 'Son,
what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't
know and I don't care.'"

This is my new all time favorite.

[FloridaChief]

VINDICATION!

Not at all. Bowser hasn't been around here long enough to see most of these quotes posted in CP members .sig's over the last five years.

In other words: REPEAT.

No prob. I'm sure you've got plenty of solid threads in your future. This one is a dismal failure...

[4th and Long]

Sorry gc but I've seen those a thousand times and they get less funny each time I read them. What's next? An insulting quotes thread?

Look at that little monkey run! - Howard Cosell

The black is the better athlete, and he practices to be the better athlete, and he's bred to be the better athlete because this goes way back to the slave period. The slave owner would breed this big black with this big black woman so he could have a big black kid. That's where it all started." - Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder

[tk13]

Here's some highlights in this long article about former Bucs' coach John McKay... if you want to read all of them click the link.

http://www.sptimes.com/News/061101/Sports/He_had_a_million_of__.shtml

John McKay always could turn a phrase. Here are some of his memorable quips:

* * *

In response to a question about the team's execution: "I'm all for it."

After walking off the field in his final game and being cursed by Jets players for his decision to surrender a score so James Wilder could try for a record: "How embarrassing to hear language like that in the NFL."

On the prospect of a late-season game in Wisconsin: "Going to Green Bay is like winning the 98th prize in a contest with only 97 prizes."

On a loss to Notre Dame: "I told our players there were 700-million Chinese who didn't even know the game was played. The next week, I got five letters from China saying, 'What happened?' "

On sports writers: "I said on my TV show they didn't know a quarterback from a banana stand, and someone sent me a crate of bananas. This week, I'm going to say most sports writers don't know a quarterback from a Mercedes."

On a play in which a Bucs running back fumbled as he crossed the goal line, and an opponent recovered as the Tampa Bay players stood with their arms in the air: "We looked like the Italian army out there."

On comparing St. Louis quarterbacks Jim Hart and Steve Pisarkiewicz: "Hart is one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. Pisarkiewicz is hard to spell."

On kickers: "Kickers are like grass. You can find them anywhere."

On kicker Garo Yepremian, who accused McKay of dodging him after he was waived: "Bleep Garo Yepremian. How old he, 37 or 12?"

On kicker Peter Rajecki, who complained that McKay made him nervous by watching: "Please inform Mr. Rajecki that I plan to attend all of the games."

To a reporter after a 55-14 loss to Green Bay: "Get the hell away from me or I'll punch you in the mouth."

On an interception thrown by Steve DeBerg: "It was thrown to nobody. Well, it was thrown to somebody -- Harry Carson. But he happened to be playing for the New York Giants at the time. It would have been a good pass if Harry was playing for us."

On leaving a practice and hearing a fan yell "Four more years!": "I didn't know what he meant. He might have thought I was Ronald Reagan."

On the difficulty of his childhood: "There weren't many cookies floating around."

On his first job, when he had to help coach Len Casanova, who was in a body cast, change his pants: "Damn it. I should have read the fine print in that contract."

On USC being ranked No. 1 by Playboy: "Playboy knows a lot more about the female formation than the T-formation."

On rival Stanford: "I'd like to beat Stanford by 2,000 points. They're the worst winners I've ever gone up against."

Before playing No. 1-ranked Notre Dame: "If we play our best and don't make any mistakes, we'll definitely get a first down."

On Bear Bryant: "When you scrape away all the hayseed, there's a royal flush underneath."

In a pregame speech to his players: "It's obvious you aren't going to win this game for yourselves. So how about winning it for the coaching staff's eight wives and 23 children?"

After watching a kick returner fall untouched: "My God, they shot him."

To his wife, Corky, who mentioned she didn't sleep all week before his Southern Cal team played UCLA: "Why? I didn't plan on using you."

On going 0-14 his first year: "Who cares? It doesn't matter if you aren't first. Seattle won two games. Should we throw them a party?"

On his last season, when the defense missed Hugh Green, who was injured when his car was hit by another driven by an interior decorator. "It's the first time I've ever been done in by an interior decorator."

After the Bucs broke their 26-game losing streak: "Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs."

On pressure from the fans: "I'll never be hung in effigy. Before every season I sent my men out to buy up all the rope in Los Angeles."

On recruiting son J.K.: "I had a rather distinct advantage. I slept with his mother."

On intensity: "Intensity is a lot of guys who run fast."

Why O.J. Simpson carried the ball so much: "Why not. It isn't very heavy. Besides, he doesn't belong to a union."

In 1965, USC had to wait on the field for 20 minutes before Notre Dame came out. In '67, McKay said he wasn't coming out before Notre Dame. The referee threatened the Irish would win by forfeit 2-0: "That would be the best deal we've ever gotten in this stadium."

[Pants]

Good thread, never heard any of those except one (lining up alphabetically).

[Stinger]

This one used to be in my sig.

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."

[el borracho]

Who had all the (fake) Downing quotes? Those were classic!