I think I'm probably about to up the bar again

[Ultra Peanut]

Well, I suspect this is going to be a trip. Because the following is going to be exceptionally long and putting it in the thread starter would be downright criminal once this reaches multiple pages (and trust me, it will), please brace for impact. You really need to brace for impact.

DISCLAIMER FROM FUTURE PSI/UP: DON'T READ THIS MOPEY GARBAGE. IT WAS JUST ME ADMITTING THAT I'M TRANS IN AN OVERLY DRAMATIC FASHION. THINGS ARE QUANTIFIABLY MORE AWESOME FOR ME NOW THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, THE END.

[Phobia]

I think it sucks.

[Ultra Peanut]

So... I'm a girl.

I know I've posted lots of wacky shit here over the years. Sometimes out of boredom, sometimes because I'd really like to think I'm funny, and sometimes because I was just in the mood to do so. This isn't one of those wacky moments. This is me, taking a very small step towards doing something I've wanted to do and saying something I've wanted to say to someone, ANYONE, for the longest damn time.

Yep. I'm "coming out." I'm transgendered. "MtF," in popular parlance (figure it out). Gender dysphoric to the max! "Evil, demon-possessed, deluded homo." Whatever you want to call me. And no, not in the Eddie Izzard "executive transvestite" way. I mean the, "I've known and felt I was female, in some way, for as long as I can remember despite being born in a male body" way. The "lots of early suicides and lots of shattered lives due to not being accepted by friends and family" way. Now, why would a girl like me not want to shout about that from the mountaintops?

I have cringed every time I've been referred to as a "he," or a "him," or an "(insert masculine pronoun here)" over the entirety of my 19 years of "existence." Well, minus the first couple of years. I think it was an accomplishment to simply eat and crap my pants at that point (Does that look like I said I ate my pants when I was very young to you? It does to me.). Regardless, from my earliest memories, I can recall almost intuitively knowing, or somehow inferring from responses I got when engaging in "wrong" behavior, that I would be well-advised to drop it and act another way or face some sort of terrible consequences that I couldn't even imagine (and now, looking back, I don't know what punishment is worse than being locked inside a ****ing miserable, hollow shell of a life and sleepwalking through my days while fearing any social interaction and going into some hyper-alert state of panic during said interactions because I might do something to "give myself away," but the logic of a four year old carried over into real-life application for the following fifteen years isn't exactly amazing).

Funny thing is, I would always end up doing things to trip my plans up and make me ripe for identification. For instance, the 6th grade book fair. I was never well-liked by my classmates at the private school I had only just begun attending, and even though I'd been a good baseball player, my skills apparently didn't equate well to kickball. Every day, I thought I'd prove something to them. Every day, I sucked. I dunno, it was a weird time. Anyways, I had just enough change left over to buy a poster -- but not enough for a book -- at this book fair. I'm not sure what there was, but the only thing I could see myself spending my money on was a poster featuring a cute little polar bear cub. So I bought that one. What the hell compelled me to do this, when I knew full well I was already disliked and picked on? Like I said, I dunno. I made up some incredibly brilliant cover story about it being for my cousin, but it still didn't change the fact that I had to carry around that damn polar bear poster all day and be ridiculed by both boys and girls alike for it.

Okay, I'm rambling, and this is going nowhere. Long story short, I got another shot at another private school in the 10th grade. Quit by November, shortly before an awakening of sorts, due to mysterious reasons like, "it's too far from home" and the ever-incredible, "I just didn't like it." Why did I really quit? I was tormented every day, even though the people there were almost all pretty darn nice, even the ones I had gone to school with before (2nd-5th grades, my halcyon days if I ever had them) and hadn't been in the same circles with at the time. All around me were girls of all types, and I was completely out of place every single day. I didn't want to make out with them like my male classmates presumably did, I wanted to BE them. I wanted to be the somewhat geeky girl with the medium-length blonde hair and the thick glasses who loved Slipknot (okay, taste in music aside). I wanted to be the girl with braces and a very nice body and great, rusty blond-ish hair. I didn't want to be the girl with the pig-laugh as much as I wanted to be one of the aforementioned girls, but I'd have gladly accepted that, too.

For God's sake, how the hell could I have broken through that initial wall in the way of the seemingly unattainable goal of not being miserable? I mean, this is the first time I've ever even been able to TYPE it out, much less say it to someone, and I'm doing this in WordPad, and I'm not sure I'll even get up the nerve to C&P this over to the reply box. It is beyond ****ing torture to know who you are and are NOT and be told by society through years and years of conditioning that you MUST pretend to be the one you're not. It is immeasurably horrible to hide who you really are because you're scared you'll get into some sort of trouble or have things become even worse. But then, it's even worse to realize that YOU HAVE NOTHING EVEN WITH THE FACADE and still remain silent because you're so scared of what could happen to ruin an already ruined life.

I have finally decided to take that step because only now do I truly realize what I've lost and what I will continue to lose by lying to others. I've long since given up on lying to myself, but keeping secrets has never been my favorite thing, even if I'm prone to keep secrets in spite of myself; Come on, I kept the fact that my eyesight was terrible from my parents for six years. It's why I quit baseball in the first place (imagine almost hitting a home run but having it be snagged at the wall by an outfielder and being confused because you're trying to interpret signals from your coaches and teammates to tell you whether you need to round the bases or go back to the dugout). SIX YEARS. That's a pretty minor bit of information in the grand scheme of things, and here I am holding it in as if I were afraid of being labeled a freak like those poor transgendered people or som--oh, right. Damn. How the hell will I ever let that one out? :rolleyes:

Why all the boring backstory? Not sure. It isn't all that illuminating, in retrospect. I actually just chopped out a large chunk of it that did nothing but take up even more space. My hands are shaking, my spelling's shit, I've locked the cats out of this room which contains their food and litter box, and I know I've probably left lots of thoughts hanging despite the length... sorry for the generaly incoherency (hey, cool band name).

Okay, one very ironic aside before continuing. My bed sheets are pink. I originally acquired them on a temporary basis while washing my old light blue ones, but they're much more comfortable and, like I said, I love the irony and the in-joke aspect of the blue comforter on the outside and the pink sheets on the inside.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll regret posting this at some point in the very near future (like... hmm... now). But I've made up my mind after literally thrashing about my bed for long periods of time over the past twenty-four to thirty-six hours, yelling at my ceiling, at God or God know's what, or yelling at nothing in particular about "blue balloons" and "pink ballons" and why they make them and why I and so many others were put in the wrong ****ing pile, and HOW ****ING CRUEL CAN YOU BE TO KNOWINGLY DO THAT TO SOMEONE?! I had seriously reached a breaking point, and I wasn't sure if those idle thoughts of suicide would remain so idle anymore. So, I came to the conclusion that today is the big day, and hopefully not just on this forum or the internet in general.

Friday the 13th. As always, my timing is beyond impeccable. And even though Dave Chappelle just took a break from dealing with his own shit right now and called me from South Africa to remind me that you can sometimes keep it too real, I somehow thought the best way to jump into that vast ocean called "OMGWTFBBQ" was to post this somewhat anonymously (but with my intraweb cred at stake -- for a shut-in like me, that's big!) on a very lively SPORTS-driven message board with thousands of members.

I'm sure I'll be treated differently, and probably not in a good way, but oh well. If I never get a rep comment in which I'm referred to as "man" again, it'll be at least a little bit worth it. And I'm sure some people will feel free to tell me I'm evil or sick (and I am sick, in other ways that I suspect are caused by hiding my identity for my entire life -- wanna know why I'm so forgiving with Ricky Williams? Because I am absolutely positive that I've got Social Anxiety Disorder, which has a damn appropriate acronym, and I've been afraid to get it addressed because I was scared of this getting out along with it.) and going to hell or whatever, or if not tell me at least think it. That's fine. I may not ever be able to be a "regular" poster on what I've considered to be a great outlet again, and that's fine, too, even if it'll hurt a little and I'm sure I'll be upset when I feel rejected over this, even if only 1% were doing that and the other 99% said, "I don't profess to know what it's like or even to know much about it, but you go, girl." Yes, the last part was a joke. The "you go, girl," part anyways.

Like I said at the beginning of this novel-length... thing, I AM A GIRL. A nineteen year old girl with a very weird upbringing that she hated nearly every moment of and issues galore, to be sure, but yes, I am a girl. And being able to type that right now, after so long being unable to muster the strength, makes me feel like that misery was worth it.

So, there went nothing. My official entry in the "worst post ever" contest. I'm going to let the cats back in here so they can eat and and I'll go take a shower now. I'll check back in on the mayhem later.

Hoooooooly shit.

[Ultra Peanut]

I can't ****ing believe I clicked the button. Awesome.

I feel like I'm about to vomit, but... awesome.

[Brock]

Great story, man.

[Phobia]

Dude - that's horrible. I'm changing your name to Hel'n immediately.

[ChiTown]

I can't ****ing believe I clicked the button. Awesome.

I feel like I'm about to vomit, but... awesome.

Fly, is that you? :)

[Donger]

If you've got a Donger, you're not a girl.

[Baby Lee]

FTR - Did Mr. Kotter force you into sharing this?

[Rain Man]

I always suspected something like this.

[SPchief]

do you have cliff notes for this??

[ChiTown]

FTR - Did Mr. Kotter force you into sharing this?


ROFL

Right on....

[Rain Man]

do you have cliff notes for this??


He hopes that we'll retain Johnny Morton.

[Phobia]

do you have cliff notes for this??

She has an unwanted penis. You'll be reading about an unsanitary surgery performed on two card tables in a Detroit rental house on the national news in a couple weeks.

[the Talking Can]

so what, I put ketchup on my steak.....yeah, I said it...

[KCTitus]

That took the courage of Rich Scanlon to post.

[ChiTown]

so what, I put ketchup on my steak.....yeah, I said it...

My Father, God rest his soul, would have turned over in his grave if he had read that. Ketchup?

[the Talking Can]

so, what this post really means, is that there are more transgendered posters than democrats on the planet...

[wutamess]

This thread is worthless without pics.

[the Talking Can]

oh, thanks for sharing...

seriously, it isn't healthy to keep humungo secrets like that...god loves everybody regardless of what Tom Delay says.....

[Donger]

so, what this post really means, is that there are more transgendered posters than democrats on the planet...

No, it means that all Democrats are also closet transgendered.

[Baby Lee]

so, what this post really means, is that there are more transgendered posters than democrats on the planet...
We're open-minded around here, but C'MON!!!! Democrats in our midst??

[gblowfish]

Can you dress up like Carol Vermeil in a red dress and let us judge your "hotness?"

[Iowanian]

I figure that took some baows to post if it weren't a joke, man.

I think you need some counseling if you're serious, but you're pretty funny on the planet. I won't fug with you about it unless you deserve it.
It has zero effect on me if you want to be a ballerina, but don't expect me to skip in the parade with you.

[ptlyon]

Is it too early to nominate this for the Hall of Classics forum?

[Wile_E_Coyote]

thread title was an interesting choice

[jspchief]

This certainly helps explain your quirky sense of humor.


Is this for real? Or is it another part of the Planet that I haven't been around long enough to have caught on to? The responses so far lead me to believe it's the latter, so I'm withholding any comments for fear of making a fool of myself (which is ironic considering...).

[Jenson71]

I've always wanted to have sex with Psi. I'm glad that makes me normal now.

[Simplex3]

do you have cliff notes for this??

[Kerberos]

Holden Caufield?

[ptlyon]

Makes his, er, um, whatever, moniker right on.

[Rain Man]

He hopes that we'll retain Johnny Morton.

Oh. Sorry. My bad on the 'he' part.

[Boozer]

Well, that explains why Psi likes soccer....

[ptlyon]

This makes Psi not a "real fan" by the way...

[Kerberos]

Oh. Sorry. My bad on the 'he' part.

More like (S)he'll ??

:D




.

[Jenson71]

"'Just when you thought you'd seen it all, Psicosis ups the bar.' - tk13"

[the Talking Can]

This makes Psi not a "real fan" by the way...

I remember CP saying that no transgendereds (uh, is this an appropiate term? I'm new at this...) had ever approached him on the Plaza to complain.

[AirForceChief]

After reading this incredibly looooong heartfelt confession, I can honestly say I agree with her 100%: General Incoherency would be a really cool band name.

[jspchief]

I've always wanted to have sex with Psi. I'm glad that makes me normal now.Actually, I really don't think that makes you normal.

[ptlyon]

Has anyone met Psi? And if you have, would you hit it?

[Dartgod]

Is this for real? :spock:

[Kclee]

This certainly helps explain your quirky sense of humor.


Hey, what are you trying to say? I pretty much have the same sense of humor as Psi!


Psi- I think you're funny regardless. I have always enjoyed your posts and hopefully you will continue to post them.

[Rain Man]

In a bit of good news, this almost doubles the number of women who will talk to me.

[Phobia]

I blame myself. I think it's something we did, collectively as an entity. I plan to cut myself as punishment. No, not there - on the leg or something.

[Chest Rockwell]

Has anyone met Psi? And if you have, would you hit it?

It's about times somone started asking the important questions here.

Also, if she's repped you, does that make you teh ghey?

NTTAWWT.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Has anyone met Psi? And if you have, would you hit it?
I don't know her, but judging on my past "hits" (except my wife, of course)... I'd have to say, "Yes."

:sulk:

[wutamess]

Seriously though...

Have/Are you going to get the operation?
Which sex do you prefer to date?
What does your family say/think?
Have you even told your family?

[Phobia]

Hey, what are you trying to say? I pretty much have the same sense of humor as Psi!

You should get yourself scheduled to be neutered ASAP. Those docs are in high demand, so you want to get it done before you change your mind.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Seriously though...

Have/Are you going to get the operation?
Which sex do you prefer to date?
What does your family say/think?
Have you even told your family?
Are you going to be a lesbian or a straight tranny?

[bogie]

I happen to like pink sheets.

[ptlyon]

Are you going to be a lesbian or a straight tranny?

I bet if it's small (s)he'll be going with an inny

[wutamess]

Another ?: Have you had sex with a woman before?

[Otter]

I checked on about every three hours today and almost started a thread along the lines of "Pretty Boring Today".

This place never ceases to amaze me.

Dude, be yourself and do what makes you happy. We'll all be worm food someday, at least try to be a happy person.

Now, I'm off to beat up some nerds, goose some teenage girls and drink beer.

[Ultra Peanut]

After reading this incredibly looooong heartfelt confession, I can honestly say I agree with her 100%: General Incoherency would be a really cool band name.Really. I just added it to my list.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I happen to like pink sheets.
closet tranny. :shake:

[ptlyon]

Another ?: Have you had sex with a woman before?

Yeah Psi, except with your mom of course.

[bogie]

IS THIS FOR REAL???? If so, it is one of the bravest things I've ever experienced. If not... It's pretty funny in a sick kind of way. It's better than chopping off cats heads with a lawn mower.

[Simplex3]

I blame myself. I think it's something we did, collectively as an entity. I plan to cut myself as punishment. No, not there - on the leg or something.
Do it on the inside of your thigh, right up by your hip. You'll have to press hard, though.

[Simplex3]

I happen to like pink sheets.
That explains your affection for LA.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Do it on the inside of your thigh, right up by your hip. You'll have to press hard, though.
ROFL ROFL ROFL

[Rain Man]

Now, I'm off to beat up some nerds, goose some teenage girls and drink beer.


You can save yourself a lot of time by finding Psicosis.

[ptlyon]

BTW Psi - I am just trying to be funny.

If this is what you want, it is your business. Like Otter said, live life like ya want. It ain't any of our business.

Hope I didn't offend you. Wait. I'll change that to hope I don't offend you.

Because I'm going to take this one yard.

[bogie]

That explains your affection for LA.


:clap:

[Kclee]

You should get yourself scheduled to be neutered ASAP. Those docs are in high demand, so you want to get it done before you change your mind.


I don't know. It sounds like you're tricking me. But what the hell, maybe my underwear will fit better.

[jspchief]

That explains your affection for LA.Seems like a bit of an over-generalization

:Poke:

[Simplex3]

I don't know. It sounds like you're tricking me. But what the hell, maybe my underwear will fit better.
If you put the tag in back they'll cradle it better Tiny.

[Simplex3]

Seems like a bit of an over-generalization

:Poke:
ROFL

Would that be Trans-thread humor I see? :hmmm:

[Rain Man]

The toughest part about this for me is that it's practically killed my 'extended family birth order' thread.

[Kclee]

Seems like a bit of an over-generalization

:Poke:

Sound familiar?


This certainly helps explain your quirky sense of humor.

:)

[Dave Lane]

Whatever, as long as the post is funny or has an interesting point of view I'm good to go.

Dave

[Fire Me Boy!]

closet tranny. :shake:
I just had the strangest mental image of a large Brazilian shemale standing in a closet saying to me, "¿Puedo tomar yo su abrigo?"

[Kclee]

If you put the tag in back they'll cradle it better Tiny.


Actually, I put both legs in one 'leg hole' and dangles the boys through the other. Yeah, it usually looks like a blind munkey on a bender dressed me.

[ptlyon]

I don't want to steal any thunder from Psi, but I also want to announce that I am a lesbian.

[KCTitus]

I don't know. It sounds like you're tricking me. But what the hell, maybe my underwear will fit better.

Put the potato in front...

[Rain Man]

I don't want to steal any thunder from Psi, but I also want to announce that I am a lesbian.

Trapped in a man's body?

[Duck Dog]

I don't want to steal any thunder from Psi, but I also want to announce that I am a lesbian.

I must confess, I eat pie too.

[Simplex3]

"This is the best team I've been on; I can't wait," said tight end Tony Gonzalez. "There is just so much optimism this year. Everyone is on the same page. The pieces are in place. It's time for us to bring a trophy to Lamar Hunt and the fans of Kansas City."

I'm pretty sure by "trophy" he means the Governor's Cup.

[Ultra Peanut]

I'm pretty sure by "trophy" he means the Governor's Cup."Where's the other governor?!"

[Phobia]

I wonder, has PsicoSIS ever heard the story about the boy who cried wolf? I know it's a story about a boy, but the moral remains, you little bitch.

[Ultra Peanut]

The wolf is sitting next to me. We're playing cards, and he's patting me on the back telling me everything will be okay.

Say, anyone know what foods mix well with the taste of bile?

[Phobia]

The wolf is sitting next to me. We're playing cards, and he's patting me on the back telling me everything will be okay.

Say, anyone know what foods mix well with the taste of bile?

Does he know you still have a penis? I'm a fan of full disclosure.

I think the food you're looking for is Rocky Mountain Oysters.

[Rain Man]

Coincidentally, I just read this the other day about a man in a woman's body.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=116199


Your situation is different, though, right?

[Skip Towne]

Ooooh....and to think of all the times I've called him a Nancy boy over the soccer thing.

[Ultra Peanut]

Nobody would want to sex me up. Trust me, it's not an issue.

[Ultra Peanut]

Coincidentally, I just read this the other day about a man in a woman's body.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=116199


Your situation is different, though, right?I've learned from the media that we can only be murderers or murder victims.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I'm scared to see how long this thread will be by the time I get to work tonight... after not having read it for 7 hours.

[Phobia]

I've learned from the media that we can only be murderers or murder victims.

Wow. *pause*

*still pausing*

Shit, I got nothing.

[Phobia]

I'm scared to see how long this thread will be by the time I get to work tonight... after not having read it for 7 hours.

At some point, I'll probably be asked to prune the length.

[Ultra Peanut]

Wow. *pause*

*still pausing*

Shit, I got nothing."I think it sucks."

[ptlyon]

At some point, I'll probably be asked to prune the length.

Funny, so will Psi!

[Fire Me Boy!]

I've learned from the media that we can only be murderers or murder victims.
No, no... you can be the best damn transgendered person you can be! You go, girl!

[Rain Man]

I've learned from the media that we can only be murderers or murder victims.

Or traffic cops.

[Fire Me Boy!]

At some point, I'll probably be asked to prune the length.
Please don't until tomorrow! I don't want to miss anything.

[Simplex3]

At some point, I'll probably be asked to prune the length.
ROFL

Hopefully Psi will get a real doctor to do it.

[HemiEd]

Best of luck to you in your persuit of happiness! :thumb:


Oh, by the way, Elton John is gay. NTTIAWWT

[Phobia]

On the plus side, you didn't get outed by Kotter.

That's the only reason I don't believe him..... or her.

[Phobia]

Quite frankly, I think the only reason PsicoSIS started this thread was because he was jealous of all the attention Nick Athan was receiving.

[ptlyon]

Delt and Phobs - I really don't understand this about not believing Psi - I am sure it happens to lots of people.

Like Kevin.

Difference is that Kevin was probably caught by his dad leaving for the prom in a prom dress and beaten severely and that is why he never came out.

[Nzoner]

This thread reminds me of a movie I once saw,I wanted to turn away but just couldn't.
http://www.celebrationtheatre.com/images/hedwig.jpg

[JimNasium]

Is it too late for me to post "WTF is going on here?"?

[JimNasium]

So, if you are transgendered do you still whip it every chance you get?

[ct]

Be who you want to be, and what you want to be. And to hell with anyone who won't support that!

[Fire Me Boy!]

You... uh... into the ladyboys, huh?
Nope... just apparently not all that picky when I've been drinking. :hmmm:

[Nzoner]

That's just sick. The whole transgender thing I can accept, but you, "sir", should be outcast from society.

Christmas party a few years back we took our employees and their S/O out for dinner.One of my salesgirls bf orders a $20 steak and literally smothers it in ketchup.I was like that kid in To Kill A Mockingbird when I looked at him and said,"what in the same hell are you doing?"

[Saulbadguy]

female? pics plz.

[Fire Me Boy!]

That's just sick. The whole transgender thing I can accept, but you, "sir", should be outcast from society.
My inlaws marinate EVERYTHING. Bastards once marinated bacon-wrapped filet mignons... I came unglued! Told them I wanted steak flavored steak and to NEVER marinate my steaks again... I brought those steaks as a special occasion and was gone for 7 minutes to the store to pick up whipped cream for the pies mom-in-law made. When I came back those filets were sitting in worchester and red wine. :banghead: :cuss:

[JimNasium]

Who else wants to come out? Do we have any sheep molesters in the house? Do any of you have three nipples? How about lingerie wearers? There's got to be some other good hidden stuff here.

[Phobia]

Who else wants to come out? Do we have any sheep molesters in the house? Do any of you have three nipples? How about lingerie wearers? There's got to be some other good hidden stuff here.

I've never actually molested a sheep technically. I may have mo-lusted after a sheep though. Is this the type of dirt you're seeking or is that whole pink socks story tragedy enough?

[ptlyon]

How about lingerie wearers?

Oops. He caught ya Delt.

[Dartgod]

Do any of you have three nipples?
Technically, it's called a "nubbin".

[JimNasium]

I've never actually molested a sheep technically. I may have mo-lusted after a sheep though. Is this the type of dirt you're seeking or is that whole pink socks story tragedy enough?
Nah, the pink shock [sic] saga is enough for me although there are going to be some nervous sheep owners in the rural areas surrounding KC now.

[JimNasium]

Technically, it's called a "nubbin".
Is this a confession?

[Dartgod]

Is this a confession?
Not until Mr. Kotter says so.

[Otter]

I feel gullible now.

Way to go psi, I'm going home today a little more cynical.

[JimNasium]

Not until Mr. Kotter says so.
I must have missed the whole Mr. Kotter thing. Not surprising since he's in a different Planet Caste than me.

[Nzoner]

Who else wants to come out? Do we have any sheep molesters in the house? Do any of you have three nipples? How about lingerie wearers? There's got to be some other good hidden stuff here.

I thought the girl..uh..person in The Crying Game was sorta hot.......at least in the first part of the movie.

[Phobia]

I feel gullible now.

Way to go psi, I'm going home today a little more cynical.

Are you trying to trick her into giving you the first piece?

[angel]

so what, I put ketchup on my steak.....yeah, I said it...
you are henceforth forbidden to eat any steak--- you are sick



Psi, I for one am happy that you are a girl. I was just telling mcan last night how funny I thought you are, and we need more girls with a good sense of humor.

[Iowanian]

I think to save money you should try to poke your own outee, in.

A real psicho would eat the frank and beans.

Thats hard core.

I'll probably never call you a chic/broad or girl though.....even if you buy some pink meat curtains to match your sheets.

[Jenny Gump]

Is this why you've never hit on me?

[Phobia]

Is this why you've never hit on me?

If anybody knew your previous handle was JimmyGump, you wouldn't get hit on either.

[Jenny Gump]

If anybody knew your previous handle was JimmyGump, you wouldn't get hit on either.

Very good point oh wise Moderator. (Thanks for outing me...now Nasium won't be buying me any more beers)

[Iowanian]

I never hit on gump for 2 reasons.
1. I'm married.
2. Every poster on the board, in my mind is a 300lb plummer named Earl until I'm proven differently.

[Jenny Gump]

Psi...so what? You are still "Psicosis", the quick-witted, quirky bulletin board poster who keeps me in stitches. I appreciate your courage, but it doesn't change who you are in my mind. The only difference is that now I am guessing I won't be having your love child.

[ptlyon]

The only difference is that now I am guessing I won't be having your love child.

If that doesn't change him back around, nothing will.

[morphius]

I wonder if psicosis is sitting there wondering why he held this in for so long now. Not sure I have read a single personal attack in the entire thread that wasn't done with 100% jest. Just one of the things you have to love about the planet.

[Kerberos]

I never hit on gump for 2 reasons.
1. I'm married.
2. Every poster on the board, in my mind is a 300lb plummer named Earl until I'm proven differently.


ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL


:D You get a rep for that one dude.


I havn't laughed that hard in a long time.


:)




.

[tyton75]

Look at it this way... that can make the bean bag into a purse... or am I being too generous.. ok.. maybe something that will hold a penny or 2

[ChiTown]

I wonder if psicosis is sitting there wondering why he held this in for so long now. Not sure I have read a single personal attack in the entire thread that wasn't done with 100% jest. Just one of the things you have to love about the planet.

If that wasn't just an invitation for some dumbass to jump in, I don't know what is....;)

[ChiTown]

I'm still into men, btw.



:shake:

[Ultra Peanut]

If that wasn't just an invitation for some dumbass to jump in, I don't know what is....;)Kotter would have thrown a "told ya so" in here by now if my big secret had been that I actually was a founding member of NAMBLA.

I don't know if this is what skydiving is like, but at least my parachute opened and I'm coasting towards the ground on this jump. Still shaking, but coasting. "Big money, big money, no wind gusts, STOP!"

[Fire Me Boy!]

I never hit on gump for 2 reasons.
1. I'm married.
2. Every poster on the board, in my mind is a 300lb plummer named Earl until I'm proven differently.
300 lb. Plummer or plumber?

[Iowanian]

Yeah...Thats exactly what I invision the gals you all flirt with looking like.

[Rausch]

I can't ****ing believe I clicked the button. Awesome.

I feel like I'm about to vomit, but... awesome.

Well, I feel better anyway...

[Rausch]

If anybody knew your previous handle was JimmyGump, you wouldn't get hit on either.

I feel dirty...

[Fire Me Boy!]

Yeah...Thats exactly what I invision the gals you all flirt with looking like.
But hey... at least I added the framed picture of the "good ol' days."

[JimNasium]

Yeah...Thats exactly what I invision the gals you all flirt with looking like.
She's not 300 lbs and she's not a plumber if that helps. I think Brad will back me on this as will MCF.

[Rausch]

She's not 300 lbs and she's not a plumber if that helps. I think Brad will back me on this as will MCF.

Nope.

Ninja-Nurse is definitely not a 300 lb man.

[Simplex3]

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL


:D You get a rep for that one dude.


I havn't laughed that hard in a long time.
When did you take all the relective surfaces out of your house?

[chiefs4me]

Well I don't believe it...maybe because it's Friday the 13th and Psi has always been so funny and witty, but I just don't believe it.

[Kerberos]

When did you take all the relective surfaces out of your house?


About the same time you tried growing a sense of humor.


:D


.

[angel]

Every poster on the board, in my mind is a 300lb plummer named Earl until I'm proven differently.
How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.

[ChiTown]

How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. I am so turned on by fat HVAC chicks.

[chiefs4me]

How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.




I gotta ask....are you serious about going to a game with anybody on this board that pays the 75 dollars? I mean you would really go with any guy that pays for your ticket?:hmmm:

[morphius]

I gotta ask....are you serious about going to a game with anybody on this board that pays the 75 dollars? I mean you would really go with any guy that pays for your ticket?:hmmm:
Why not, she could meet them at Dartgod's tailgating section, then hang out there afterwards, only has to be with the guy for the time of the game. Hell, I'd have a hard time turning down free tickets.

[angel]

I gotta ask....are you serious about going to a game with anybody on this board that pays the 75 dollars? I mean you would really go with any guy that pays for your ticket?:hmmm:
pretty much, yeah
I really want to go to games, and I don't have any money now that I'm graduating and haven't gotten a job.
I'll be as safe as I can. I'll let everyone know where I am, stay in public view at all times, etc.
Honestly, this is a long-shot deal. I didn't really think anyone would take me up on it. But if anyone will pay for my ticket to a game, as long as they're not a serial killer or some psychopath, I'm going!

[angel]

Why not, she could meet them at Dartgod's tailgating section, then hang out there afterwards, only has to be with the guy for the time of the game. Hell, I'd have a hard time turning down free tickets.
yeah, that too :)

[Kerberos]

yeah, that too :)

So whats in it for the guy that takes you to the game??

$75 can get a nice piece of ass in most places.

I mean a guy has got to have SOMETHING to show for his money!


:D



J/K


.

[Rain Man]

But if anyone will pay for my ticket to a game, as long as they're not a serial killer or some psychopath, I'm going!

So...sociopath is okay, then, right?

[Iowanian]

How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.

Well thanks Larry.

I met your unt-double at the tailgate. She was a pretty good kisser but could have used a tictac, and her phone in her back pocket gave me a charlie horse in the thigh. While we didn't fully consumate the relationship, I was glad to give her the wetnap before leaving the porta-john.

[MOhillbilly]

But if anyone will pay for my ticket to a game, as long as they're not a serial killer or some psychopath, I'm going!


Really? Cracks knuckles.......

[Kerberos]

So...sociopath is okay, then, right?

Or just mildly schizophrenic?




.

[Kclee]

Really? Cracks knuckles.......

Well, if that is a picture of you in your avatar, you might have to use that extra ticket for your balls.

[vailpass]

Congrats on taking what must be a very big step for you.
I don't know whether to slap you on the back or pat you on the ass but congrats all the same.

[HemiEd]

Congrats on taking what must be a very big step for you.
I don't know whether to slap you on the back or pat you on the ass but congrats all the same.

ROFL

[Calcountry]

Dude - that's horrible. I'm changing your name to Hel'n immediately.Thats what I was thinking. ROFL

[FloridaChief]

Psi,

1. In the four years you've posted here, you have never ceased to amaze and amuse me. The trend continues although this one was certainly unexpected.

2. I will personally fly to Memphis and sexually reassign you w/ a Vietnam war-era napalm sprayer and a rusty hatchet if your "coming out" results in a change in your posting style-it's just too damned entertaining to lose.

3. Boa Sorte.

[Calcountry]

Is this for real? :spock:McCauley Caulkin 7 year old voice from Home Alone 1 on/ Is this a joke?

[Calcountry]

I blame myself. I think it's something we did, collectively as an entity. I plan to cut myself as punishment. No, not there - on the leg or something.ROFL

You cutter!

[Kclee]

3. Boa Sorte.


You're Portuguese?

[Iowanian]

I still can't help but think this is just a joke, after psi chewed on some bad X.

[Calcountry]

It's about times somone started asking the important questions here.

Also, if she's repped you, does that make you teh ghey?

NTTAWWT.If there is nothing wrong with it, then why mention it?

[FloridaChief]

You're Portuguese?

I am not.

[Calcountry]

I am not.No, he is a Vocabuleese.

[go bo]

How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.is that cute girl single?

[Ebolapox]

I still can't help but think this is just a joke, after psi chewed on some bad X.

you're not the only one...

the only way psi could turn chiefsplanet MORE upside down is if he admitted he was rich scanlon. Seriously

-EB-

[Rain Man]

is that cute girl single?


Too late. She already ate the 50 pounds of chicken fried steak.

[Ebolapox]

so, without reading all three pages, summary?? I'm suspecting joke, but with psi, ya never know

-EB-

[FloridaChief]

summary??

Gladly:

Ebola's too goddamned lazy to read through this thread but thinks nothing of demanding fellow 'Planeteer's to do his secretarial work for him.

I think that about covers it. HTH...

[penguinz]

so what, I put ketchup on my steak.....yeah, I said it...I have not read the whole thread so someone else may have responded to this already.

Dude that is disgusting. Why would you ruin a steak like that. if a steak is properly prepared you do not need any type of condiment on it.

[Ebolapox]

Gladly:

Ebola's too goddamned lazy to read through this thread but thinks nothing of demanding fellow 'Planeteer's to do his secretarial work for him.

I think that about covers it. HTH...

yup

-EB-

[Baby Lee]

so, without reading all three pages, summary?? I'm suspecting joke, but with psi, ya never know

-EB-
Psi wants to chop his winkie off because he once bought a polar bear poster and was too nearsighted to enjoy his home runs in Little League. All are supportive of this development. :thumb:

[angel]

is that cute girl single?
yes, and she's willing to go to any Chiefs game with anyone if they pay for her ticket...

[angel]

I have not read the whole thread so someone else may have responded to this already.

Dude that is disgusting. Why would you ruin a steak like that. if a steak is properly prepared you do not need any type of condiment on it.
I even think it's a crime to put A1 on a good steak. The only time I put A1 on a steak is if it's not up to par- otherwise, leave the beautiful piece of meat alone!!!

[Rain Man]

To heck with this transsexual stuff. We need more confession threads about female posters who have experimented sexually with other women.

[Baby Lee]

Only things that go on steak.

Roquefort or Gorganzola
Mushrooms in Red Wine Reduction
Horseradish Cream [if it's prime rib]

[angel]

To heck with this transsexual stuff. We need more confession threads about female posters who have experimented sexually with other women.
will you buy me Chiefs tickets?

I will tell you any story you want to hear for a ticket to a game

[Rain Man]

will you buy me Chiefs tickets?

I will tell you any story you want to hear for a ticket to a game


Will you tell me the story in person, or do I have to call your 900 number?

[angel]

Will you tell me the story in person, or do I have to call your 900 number?
they disconnected that number last month from lack of interest

I guess people don't like to hear 312lb Heating and Air Conditioning Repairmen eating chicken fried steak for 10cents a minute

[Bowser]

Psi, you should really practice before you decide this is what you want to do. We can all chip in and buy you one of these if you like. Training wheels, if you will.........

[Baby Lee]

will you buy me Chiefs tickets?

I will tell you any story you want to hear for a ticket to a game
Odd to say this at this particular juncture, but we're entering a weird zone about now.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/03/pics/03emerv2.jpg
But will you tell the story while pullin' on mah wiener?

"I said LOVE. . . It's a crazy roller-coaster ri-a-i-ide."

ROFL ROFL

[KC Dan]

How did you know?
My secret's out: I'm really a 312lb out of work heating and air conditioning repairman. I live with my mom who loves to cook chicken fried steak for me breakfast, lunch and dinner.
That cute girl I hired to go to the banquet was just posing as me to cover up my lies. She felt really akward there around all you people who she didn't know, and she was really pissed later when all I had to pay her with was some chicken fried steak.
BULL***T!!! But even if this were true, that cute girl was in fact an Angel & a good choice to cause tongues hanging out. Well Done!

[Jenson71]

"'Just when you thought you'd seen it all, Psicosis ups the bar.' - tk13"

Oh, I didn't read the thread title right. I thought this was really funny.

[Bob Dole]

Psi feeling compelled to share that story is so damned inspirational that Bob Dole feels like sharing, too.

Just like Psi, Bob Dole has posted some wacky shit here over the past few years, with the primary difference being that Bob Dole is actually intelligent and funny (and as those of you who have met Bob Dole know, extremely handsome). And just like Psi, this isn't one of those moments. Bob Dole has wanted to share this since the old KC Star forum days, but hasn't had the nerve to admit it until reading this story (and having 4 beers). It truly is liquid courage!

Just like Psi, Bob Dole ate and crapped his pants at a young age, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole stopped before his 14th birthday. Just like Psi, Bob Dole is often miserable, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole chooses to ignore his frustrations and occupy his mind with women and alcohol instead of lounging on pink sheets throwing tantrums nobody can hear.

And unlike Psi, Bob Dole isn't rambling, so shut the **** up.

Bob Dole played kickball as a child, but Bob Dole ruled. Well, at least until that bitch Allison Devan wasn't paying any attention and ran face first into Bob Dole's upper lip and crammed one of her brace-enhanced ****ing rabbit teeth through Bob Dole's upper lip on his 9th birthday. Happy Birthday Bob! Hope you enjoy the smell of that sticky crap they put on with the butterfly stitches, as it will be your constant companion for the next 3 ****ing weeks. At least the stupid bitch managed to grow some decent tits later on and didn't have a problem sharing them. And doesn't everything in life come down to tit size in the end?

Still not rambling.

Bob Dole suspects that Psi also tried bowling, but sucked at it. Why else would there be no mention of bowling? On the other hand, Bob Dole was an excellent league bowler in his teens. The league secretary was a 40ish woman named Wanda who had an impressive rack. She was truly an inspiration, as only a nice rack can inspire a pubescent boy, if you get Bob Dole's drift. Bob Dole carried the third highest average in the league most seasons and used a 14 pound ball. It was about the size of one of Wanda's titties.

This is harder than Bob Dole thought it would be. Type type tpye, backspace backspace backspace, rinse and repeat. Damn this beer is good and cold. Bob Dole has an excellent refrigerator. It's a Whirlpool. Icemaker equipped. Almond in color. Handles installed on the left, thank you very much.

But back to the point, since just like Psi, Bob Dole wandered a bit. Bob Dole's sheets are white. Both sets. Cotton. Queen size with a decent thread count. Bob Dole is also white, but not as white as the sheets. Bob Dole likes them to be pressed when they come out of the dryer so they are nice and smooth and crisp. Of course, Bob Dole likes to think that every Thursday is Steak and a Blowjob day, but that isn't ****ing happening either.

Why all the boring backstory? Because it makes Bob Dole laugh knowing that you're actually reading this shit. Lemmings.

Just kidding. The backstory is important because it talks about titties and bowling and kickball. The backstory serves to illustrate that males in mid-america are fascinated with that stuff. And dodgeball. What the **** is wrong with all the people trying to ban dodgeball? They probably want to whack off their peckers, too.

Friday the 13th. Wow. Bob Dole can read a calendar.

(Other really interesting and entertaining stuff edited for brevity and saved for future use.)

Anyway, the primary point is that Bob Dole has been living a lie for more than 4 years, which is like 28 dog years. And Bob Dole has two dogs, so it's been like 56 years, which is a lifetime to almost everyone here but Skip. Bob Dole has come to think of two or three of you as almost decent human beings during the time here, and Bob Dole can't stand living the lie any longer.

Bob Dole's name isn't really Bob Dole.

[Ultra Peanut]

Why all the boring backstory? Because it makes Bob Dole laugh knowing that you're actually reading this shit. Lemmings.I admit, it's a combover.

[JazzzLovr]

Who else wants to come out? Do we have any sheep molesters in the house? Do any of you have three nipples? How about lingerie wearers? There's got to be some other good hidden stuff here.

OK, I'll admit it. I occasionally wear lingerie.

[chiefs4me]

Psi feeling compelled to share that story is so damned inspirational that Bob Dole feels like sharing, too.

Just like Psi, Bob Dole has posted some wacky shit here over the past few years, with the primary difference being that Bob Dole is actually intelligent and funny (and as those of you who have met Bob Dole know, extremely handsome). And just like Psi, this isn't one of those moments. Bob Dole has wanted to share this since the old KC Star forum days, but hasn't had the nerve to admit it until reading this story (and having 4 beers). It truly is liquid courage!

Just like Psi, Bob Dole ate and crapped his pants at a young age, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole stopped before his 14th birthday. Just like Psi, Bob Dole is often miserable, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole chooses to ignore his frustrations and occupy his mind with women and alcohol instead of lounging on pink sheets throwing tantrums nobody can hear.

And unlike Psi, Bob Dole isn't rambling, so shut the **** up.

Bob Dole played kickball as a child, but Bob Dole ruled. Well, at least until that bitch Allison Devan wasn't paying any attention and ran face first into Bob Dole's upper lip and crammed one of her brace-enhanced ****ing rabbit teeth through Bob Dole's upper lip on his 9th birthday. Happy Birthday Bob! Hope you enjoy the smell of that sticky crap they put on with the butterfly stitches, as it will be your constant companion for the next 3 ****ing weeks. At least the stupid bitch managed to grow some decent tits later on and didn't have a problem sharing them. And doesn't everything in life come down to tit size in the end?

Still not rambling.

Bob Dole suspects that Psi also tried bowling, but sucked at it. Why else would there be no mention of bowling? On the other hand, Bob Dole was an excellent league bowler in his teens. The league secretary was a 40ish woman named Wanda who had an impressive rack. She was truly an inspiration, as only a nice rack can inspire a pubescent boy, if you get Bob Dole's drift. Bob Dole carried the third highest average in the league most seasons and used a 14 pound ball. It was about the size of one of Wanda's titties.

This is harder than Bob Dole thought it would be. Type type tpye, backspace backspace backspace, rinse and repeat. Damn this beer is good and cold. Bob Dole has an excellent refrigerator. It's a Whirlpool. Icemaker equipped. Almond in color. Handles installed on the left, thank you very much.

But back to the point, since just like Psi, Bob Dole wandered a bit. Bob Dole's sheets are white. Both sets. Cotton. Queen size with a decent thread count. Bob Dole is also white, but not as white as the sheets. Bob Dole likes them to be pressed when they come out of the dryer so they are nice and smooth and crisp. Of course, Bob Dole likes to think that every Thursday is Steak and a Blowjob day, but that isn't ****ing happening either.

Why all the boring backstory? Because it makes Bob Dole laugh knowing that you're actually reading this shit. Lemmings.

Just kidding. The backstory is important because it talks about titties and bowling and kickball. The backstory serves to illustrate that males in mid-america are fascinated with that stuff. And dodgeball. What the **** is wrong with all the people trying to ban dodgeball? They probably want to whack off their peckers, too.

Friday the 13th. Wow. Bob Dole can read a calendar.

(Other really interesting and entertaining stuff edited for brevity and saved for future use.)

Anyway, the primary point is that Bob Dole has been living a lie for more than 4 years, which is like 28 dog years. And Bob Dole has two dogs, so it's been like 56 years, which is a lifetime to almost everyone here but Skip. Bob Dole has come to think of two or three of you as almost decent human beings during the time here, and Bob Dole can't stand living the lie any longer.

Bob Dole's name isn't really Bob Dole.



ROFL.........ROFL..........ROFL............I am crying I am laughing so hard. And yes you are right...it always comes down to the size.:)

[Bob Dole]

I admit, it's a combover.

You go girl.

[HemiEd]

Bob Dole, I am not going to copy that whole post of yours in the interest of saving space but that may be the funniest thing I have ever read. I love Dodgeball and bowling is important! ROFL

[4th and Long]

That is singularly the funniest thing I have ever seen Bob Dole (or whatever Bob Dole's real name is) post!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL

[KcMizzou]

ROFL

The Planet rules.

Other than that, I have nothing much to add....

[Rain Man]

OK, I'll admit it. I occasionally wear lingerie.


200 posts and this thread hasn't even hit its stride yet. Afterburners - ignite!

[Fire Me Boy!]

Night crew UNITE!

[KC Dan]

OK, I'll admit it. I occasionally wear lingerie.
My Eyes! My Eyes! Arrrrgggggghhhhhh!



j/k :)

[Nzoner]

yes, and she's willing to go to any Chiefs game with anyone if they pay for her ticket...

I guess I could just tell the wife I'm going with another friend from the planet.

[Skip Towne]

Psi feeling compelled to share that story is so damned inspirational that Bob Dole feels like sharing, too.

Just like Psi, Bob Dole has posted some wacky shit here over the past few years, with the primary difference being that Bob Dole is actually intelligent and funny (and as those of you who have met Bob Dole know, extremely handsome). And just like Psi, this isn't one of those moments. Bob Dole has wanted to share this since the old KC Star forum days, but hasn't had the nerve to admit it until reading this story (and having 4 beers). It truly is liquid courage!

Just like Psi, Bob Dole ate and crapped his pants at a young age, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole stopped before his 14th birthday. Just like Psi, Bob Dole is often miserable, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole chooses to ignore his frustrations and occupy his mind with women and alcohol instead of lounging on pink sheets throwing tantrums nobody can hear.

And unlike Psi, Bob Dole isn't rambling, so shut the **** up.

Bob Dole played kickball as a child, but Bob Dole ruled. Well, at least until that bitch Allison Devan wasn't paying any attention and ran face first into Bob Dole's upper lip and crammed one of her brace-enhanced ****ing rabbit teeth through Bob Dole's upper lip on his 9th birthday. Happy Birthday Bob! Hope you enjoy the smell of that sticky crap they put on with the butterfly stitches, as it will be your constant companion for the next 3 ****ing weeks. At least the stupid bitch managed to grow some decent tits later on and didn't have a problem sharing them. And doesn't everything in life come down to tit size in the end?

Still not rambling.

Bob Dole suspects that Psi also tried bowling, but sucked at it. Why else would there be no mention of bowling? On the other hand, Bob Dole was an excellent league bowler in his teens. The league secretary was a 40ish woman named Wanda who had an impressive rack. She was truly an inspiration, as only a nice rack can inspire a pubescent boy, if you get Bob Dole's drift. Bob Dole carried the third highest average in the league most seasons and used a 14 pound ball. It was about the size of one of Wanda's titties.

This is harder than Bob Dole thought it would be. Type type tpye, backspace backspace backspace, rinse and repeat. Damn this beer is good and cold. Bob Dole has an excellent refrigerator. It's a Whirlpool. Icemaker equipped. Almond in color. Handles installed on the left, thank you very much.

But back to the point, since just like Psi, Bob Dole wandered a bit. Bob Dole's sheets are white. Both sets. Cotton. Queen size with a decent thread count. Bob Dole is also white, but not as white as the sheets. Bob Dole likes them to be pressed when they come out of the dryer so they are nice and smooth and crisp. Of course, Bob Dole likes to think that every Thursday is Steak and a Blowjob day, but that isn't ****ing happening either.

Why all the boring backstory? Because it makes Bob Dole laugh knowing that you're actually reading this shit. Lemmings.

Just kidding. The backstory is important because it talks about titties and bowling and kickball. The backstory serves to illustrate that males in mid-america are fascinated with that stuff. And dodgeball. What the **** is wrong with all the people trying to ban dodgeball? They probably want to whack off their peckers, too.

Friday the 13th. Wow. Bob Dole can read a calendar.

(Other really interesting and entertaining stuff edited for brevity and saved for future use.)

Anyway, the primary point is that Bob Dole has been living a lie for more than 4 years, which is like 28 dog years. And Bob Dole has two dogs, so it's been like 56 years, which is a lifetime to almost everyone here but Skip. Bob Dole has come to think of two or three of you as almost decent human beings during the time here, and Bob Dole can't stand living the lie any longer.

Bob Dole's name isn't really Bob Dole.
Thank you for your candid post. Unlike Psicosis' rant, I read yours in its entirety. Psi uses too many big words I don't understand and I get frustrated.

[go bo]

I guess I could just tell the wife I'm going with another friend from the planet.odd, that's what i was thinking too... :p :p :p

[Nzoner]

odd, that's what i was thinking too... :p :p :p

Maybe Angel should reword her statement.

[trndobrd]

pretty much, yeah
I really want to go to games, and I don't have any money now that I'm graduating and haven't gotten a job.
I'll be as safe as I can. I'll let everyone know where I am, stay in public view at all times, etc.
Honestly, this is a long-shot deal. I didn't really think anyone would take me up on it. But if anyone will pay for my ticket to a game, as long as they're not a serial killer or some psychopath, I'm going!


Uh, I didn't put anything about no serial killers in the small print of your offer. Is that going to be a problem?

[angel]

Maybe Angel should reword her statement.
Even if you're married, if your wife doesn't want to go with you, but you're willing to take me along, I'll go. Your wife shouldn't mind since there'll be nothing more than me enjoying the game with you.

I can't seem to say this enough: I just want to go to the games next season!! So buy my tickets!!! Okay? o:-)

[Sparhawk]

Bob Dole some of your posts have made me crack a smile but this latest one takes the cake!

[Hammock Parties]

Uh...

[keg in kc]

What the f*ck is going on here.

[Fire Me Boy!]

See what happens when you only come here at night? You miss all the interesting stuff.

Be sure to check out the 300 lb. plummer.

[Skip Towne]

Uh...
Hey, Gochiefs, have you noticed Psicosis has elected to cut his little yazoo off? You might want to consider doing the same thing before yours falls off. Are you familiar with the term "vestigial structure"? It has to do with the fact that body parts that are not used gradually become smaller to the point of non existence in most species. Blind Cave Fish among Tropical Fish are an example. The Tonsils among humans is another. The Tonsils once strained out harmful substances when cave men ate raw meat. We don't need them anymore so they have become a "vestige" of what they were. Anyway, your dick is in danger of becoming a vestigial structure and could fall off at any minute. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Fire Me Boy!]

He uses it all the time, so leave him alone.

On a related note, his hands will NEVER be in danger of falling off.

[Skip Towne]

He uses it all the time, so leave him alone.

On a related note, his hands will NEVER be in danger of falling off.
Dammit, I never thought of that.

[Skip Towne]

He uses it all the time, so leave him alone.

On a related note, his hands will NEVER be in danger of falling off.
Dammit, I never thought of that. He likes to have me pick on him and I haven't had the chance today so this will have to do.

[Rausch]

Dammit, I never thought of that.

If don't fall off on it's own it can always be arranged...

[Phobia]

I swear to God, Bob Dole is the funniest sumbitch on this site. Sorry Rainman.

[Skip Towne]

I swear to God, Bob Dole is the funniest sumbitch on this site. Sorry Rainman.
Both of them are hilarious but they have different styles. Rainman can find humor out of anything while Bob_Dole tends to elaborate on what already exists. Honorable mention to Iowanian and his barnyard stylings.

[Skip Towne]

If don't fall off on it's own it can always be arranged...
ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

Anyway, your dick is in danger of becoming a vestigial structure and could fall off at any minute. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Well, that's true. But at least mine still goes up and down.

[Skip Towne]

Well, that's true. But at least mine still goes up and down.
Damn you!!!!!

[Nzoner]

Even if you're married, if your wife doesn't want to go with you, but you're willing to take me along, I'll go. Your wife shouldn't mind since there'll be nothing more than me enjoying the game with you.

I can't seem to say this enough: I just want to go to the games next season!! So buy my tickets!!! Okay? o:-)

For the low, low price of $75 you could take Angel to a Chiefs game this coming season!!



Guess I'm shit out of luck,I've only got $59 tickets.

[tk13]

Guess I'm shit out of luck,I've only got $59 tickets.
Pssht. You're only 3/4ths of a real fan.

[ExtremeChief]

I really can't believe everyone is surprised by the thread starter. Psi's avatar has clearly given this away. It's a banana, a banana that is detached and riding a bicycle. The banana is clearly running away. Symbolism at it's finest.

Good luck to you Psi. Always remember, at least you don't have near the mental issues that Bob Dole does.

[htismaqe]

This doesn't change anything for me.

Psi is still THE college football guru to me, both here and on another board I used to frequent.

I just wish you hadn't said you like Slipknot. I don't think I can handle that.

[ExtremeChief]

I don't care what sex Psi is or becomes. But the whole "ketchup on steak" thing really freaks me out.

[Ultra Peanut]

Well, that's true. But at least mine still goes up and down.Ba-Zing!

I really can't believe everyone is surprised by the thread starter. Psi's avatar has clearly given this away. It's a banana, a banana that is detached and riding a bicycle. The banana is clearly running away. Symbolism at it's finest.No, that's just Mr. Bananagrabber. I think he's, like, a cannibal or something. G.O.B. really shouldn't have sold the animation rights.

Speaking of which, I've made a huge mistake...

Nah. I'm still glad I posted it. Probably could have gone about things better, but I felt like I had to just throw it out as quickly as possible before I lost my nerve. Funny thing, though... I don't think there is any way I wouldn't have posted that yesterday, barring a power outage or something.

Should say something about the state I was in that finally got so bad it enabled me to just say "**** it" and let it go. I took a stroll around the neighborhood yesterday morning, before composing the post, and felt almost comically serene (another good band name?). On second thought, that's nowhere near as catchy as General Incoherency.

Prior to yesterday, I simply could not envision myself living past my mid-20s, if that long. I don't mean that in a suicidal way, I just mean I didn't know how I would function. I could only see things getting worse and worse.

I actually have a tiny shred of hope for the first time I can ever remember.

This doesn't change anything for me.

Psi is still THE college football guru to me, both here and on another board I used to frequent.College football guru, eh? Wouldn't go that far, especially since I've gotten more and more bitter about everything and have shifted most of my focus to just being on Memphis in the past few years. I think the Big East taking USF instead of Memphis a few years ago really did a number on me, as far as how I viewed college athletics.

I just wish you hadn't said you like Slipknot. I don't think I can handle that.Nononono. God forbid. This girl I went to school with in 10th grade for three months liked Slipknot. She was cool, aside from her shitty taste in music. I can understand how you'd get lost in the maze that was that post, though.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Ba-Zing!
What do you care? You just wanna get rid of yours. :p

[Jenson71]

Question:

Has Joe Paterno ever won a National Championship? If so, how many?

[Saulbadguy]

I still have not the slightest clue whats going on. Can I buy a vowel?

[Saulbadguy]

Question:

Has Joe Paterno ever won a National Championship? If so, how many?
2 of em..both in the 80's.

[Iowanian]

I guess this explains your dislike for Larry JOHNSON & DICK Vermiel.

[Saulbadguy]

so what, I put ketchup on my steak.....yeah, I said it...
Sick fock.

[HemiEd]

Sick fock.


I have a brother in law that puts mustard on everything and a lot of it. Last thanksgiving he poured all over his Turkey, mashed potatoes and everything. Yek :Lin:

[Bowser]

I have a brother in law that puts mustard on everything and a lot of it. Last thanksgiving he poured all over his Turkey, mashed potatoes and everything. Yek :Lin:

Gaah! Mashed potatoes? Kick him in the nuts next time you see him!

[Bob Dole]

I have a brother in law that puts mustard on everything and a lot of it. Last thanksgiving he poured all over his Turkey, mashed potatoes and everything. Yek :Lin:

Bob Dole used to live with a pair of giant tits that put mustard on her pizza.

[HemiEd]

Gaah! Mashed potatoes? Kick him in the nuts next time you see him!

Yeah, we have ribbed him so much about it that we have about rubbed him raw. But it really is gross.

[Saulbadguy]

Bob Dole used to live with a pair of giant tits that put mustard on her pizza.
Ranch salad dressing isn't bad on pizza.

[HemiEd]

Bob Dole used to live with a pair of giant tits that put mustard on her pizza.


Giant tits could make it ok. :drool:

[Hammock Parties]

I started putting honey mustard on sammiches instead of mayo. Quite good.

[Bowser]

I started putting honey mustard on sammiches instead of mayo. Quite good.


Mayo is nasty. Never could eat the stuff.

[Hammock Parties]

Ranch salad dressing isn't bad on pizza.

Newman's Own creamy italian is the bomb on ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY hot wings.

[Hammock Parties]

Mayo is nasty. Never could eat the stuff.

I've eaten it exclusively on sandwiches for years.

[Hammock Parties]

Giant tits could make it ok. :drool:

You heartless bastard. That's my mother you're talking about! TAKE IT BACK!

[trndobrd]

Prior to yesterday, I simply could not envision myself living past my mid-20s, if that long. I don't mean that in a suicidal way, I just mean I didn't know how I would function. I could only see things getting worse and worse.



Yeah, life is like that until you hit 35 and and realize, "Damn, if I knew I was going to be around this long, I would have taken better care of myself and made something of my life."


***edit****

things do get worse and worse

[Hammock Parties]

Yeah, life is like that until you hit 35 and and realize, "Damn, if I knew I was going to be around this long, I would have taken better care of myself and made something of my life."


***edit****

things do get worse and worse

I threw out three other avatars in your thread...CHANGE YOUR ELEPHANT ALREADY.

[trndobrd]

I threw out three other avatars in your thread...CHANGE YOUR ELEPHANT ALREADY.


a picture of a pig and chicken copulating fails to meet even the lowest standard for a quality avatar.

[Hammock Parties]

a picture of a pig and chicken copulating fails to meet even the lowest standard for a quality avatar.

You didn't see farmer Bob...anyway I thought it was funny.

[trndobrd]

You didn't see farmer Bob...anyway I thought it was funny.


This is a transexual thread. There is absolutely no reason to be bringing barnyard animal sex into the discussion.

[Rain Man]

I really can't believe everyone is surprised by the thread starter. Psi's avatar has clearly given this away. It's a banana, a banana that is detached and riding a bicycle. The banana is clearly running away. Symbolism at it's finest.



It's not a bicycle. It's a Segway, which is even more prophetic. Brilliant, I tell you. Brilliant!

[chiefs4me]

Even if you're married, if your wife doesn't want to go with you, but you're willing to take me along, I'll go. Your wife shouldn't mind since there'll be nothing more than me enjoying the game with you.

I can't seem to say this enough: I just want to go to the games next season!! So buy my tickets!!! Okay? o:-)





Quit begging...you should never beg. I wanna go to the games also, but being way down here and having a family, I will probably only get to go to the Dallas game. Start putting a dollar a day in a jar and when the time comes you will have enough money. You are close enough to arrowhead that it shouldn't cost you gas or lodging...so you should be able to make a game.....just start saving for it. I am not bitching at you....I just don't like seeing someone taking a risk like this for only the cost of a ticket.

[Rain Man]

I just don't like seeing someone taking a risk like this for only the cost of a ticket.

She clearly said earlier that she wouldn't accept a ticket from a serial killer or a psychopath.

[Bowser]

The life lessons never stop, do they?

[chiefs4me]

She clearly said earlier that she wouldn't accept a ticket from a serial killer or a psychopath.




:rolleyes:......and how the hell are you supposed to know if they are one of those. I gotta tell you that there are at least 3 people on the planet that I tend to think lean that way...:hmmm:

[cdcox]

:rolleyes:......and how the hell are you supposed to know if they are one of those. I gotta tell you that there are at least 3 people on the planet that I tend to think lean that way...:hmmm:

I take it you don't believe in the honor system?

[Rain Man]

:rolleyes:......and how the hell are you supposed to know if they are one of those. I gotta tell you that there are at least 3 people on the planet that I tend to think lean that way...:hmmm:


I think she's comfortable with the honor system.

[Rain Man]

Darn you, cdcox.