I need your help in becoming an Indian.

[Rain Man]

The state's second-largest embarrassment after the Broncos, CU-Boulder, is commencing their investigation of the state's third-largest embarrassment, Ward Churchill.

There are two issues, the first being plariarism and the second being his claims that he's an Indian.

Churchill's statement mentions that he passes three tests:

1. He "self-identifies" as an Indian.
2. He is publicly accepted by the community as Indian.
3. He is a member of a tribe.

Well, the tribe is calling him an embarrassment and a fraud, and claiming that his "associate membership" is no different than the honorary membership they gave to Bill Clinton a while back. Therefore, Speaks-with-forked-tongue Churchill now only has two pieces of proof: self-identification and acceptance by the community.

I too would like to be an Indian, so therefore I'm going to say that I am. I've just passed the first test. On the accompanying poll, would you, as members of my community, please recognize me as an Indian so I can pass the second test?

If I can be an Indian, it'll just make my day. Maybe I'll even request a name change to Rain Dance Man.

Article describing the three tests.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_3783579,00.html

Tribe calling Churchill a fraud

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_3786590,00.html

[Rain Man]

Oh, and please don't litter.

[Donger]

Heh. I've always pictured you as being whiter than Vanilla Ice.

[Baby Lee]

I am 10x more embarassed at Russell Means becoming this guy's sycophant, than I am at CHurchill's polemics. At least there's a chance that Churchill has thought about his positions and fervently holds them. It's pretty clear Means' thought process ended somewhere about "this guy hates whitey and is getting a lot of TV time these days."

[Rain Man]

Heh. I've always pictured you as being whiter than Vanilla Ice.


I'm an albino Indian. Please vote yes.

[Baby Lee]

Heh. I've always pictured you as being whiter than Vanilla Ice.
I always figured RM was the civilian persona of Burger King's Herb.

[DeepSouth]

Would your place then be considered a reservation? If so, would you then be able to sponsor legalized gambling?

[Rain Man]

I always figured RM was the civilian persona of Burger King's Herb.


Herb is apache.

[Rain Man]

Would your place then be considered a reservation? If so, would you then be able to sponsor legalized gambling?


That, or store nuclear waste. I'm still weighing the offers.

[Goapics1]

Injun Rain Man, I have voted "yes".

[Rain Man]

This is going well. The Great Father is pleased.

[Donger]

This is going well. The Great Father is pleased.

Are you going to get a sqaw named, "Says Like A Lot?" They're, like, a dime a dozen up on Boulder.

[Baby Lee]

Tell ya what. I'm in St. Louie. Start dancing now. And if it starts raining here in the next 1/2 hour, I'll make some calls.
Are you OK with provisional Cherokee?

[DeepSouth]

Injun Rain Man, I have voted "yes".
I assume Rain Man is starting a whole new tribe so you should probably address him as CHIEF Rain Man.

[Skip Towne]

I voted no. A lowland gorilla Indian? C'mon.

[MOhillbilly]

im an indian and i dont think this is funny at all.

regards
Bobrapeaho

[Goapics1]

I assume Rain Man is starting a whole new tribe so you should probably address him as CHIEF Rain Man.


You are correct. Chief Rain Man I apologize.

[Goapics1]

im an indian and i dont think this is funny at all.

regards
Bobrapeaho

And I thought you were a hillbilly from Missouri all this time. Sorry MO. :banghead:

[Stinger]

Oh, and please don't litter.

You want to be like Cody?

http://cache.eonline.com/News/Photos/c/cody.010598.jpg

hehe you sure?


"Crying Indian" a Fake, Reports Say
by Marcus Errico
Jan 7, 1999, 1:35 PM PT
back to story (http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,4141,00.html) Was the "Crying Indian" a crying fraud?



Iron Eyes Cody (http://www.eonline.com/Facts/People/0,12,3348,00.html), dubbed the "Crying Indian" for those ubiquitous "Keep America Beautiful" anti-pollution spots in the 1970s, didn't have a trace of Native American blood in him, according to a report in Indian Country Today.


Instead, the actor, who claimed to be part Cherokee and part Cree and appeared in upwards of 80 films in American Indian roles--often playing characters identified only as "Indian," "Indian Chief" or "Indian Joe"--was really an Italian-American from Louisiana. His real name: Oscar DeCorti.


The allegations, surfacing just four days after Cody died, date back three years, when the New Orleans Times-Picayune originally detailed the actor's hidden history.


Cody claimed to have been born in Oklahoma around the turn of the century (dates vary from 1905 to 1915). He said he got the show biz bug from his Cherokee Indian dad, Thomas Long Plume, and later joined his pop as a performer in circuses and Wild West shows.



But, according to the newspaper reports, Cody's mom really hailed from Sicily and his father was an Italian immigrant.


Cody's film career included parts in Sitting Bull (http://www.eonline.com/Facts/Movies/0,60,56137,00.html), The Great Sioux Massacre (http://www.eonline.com/Facts/Movies/0,60,55198,00.html), A Man Called Horse (http://www.eonline.com/Facts/Movies/0,60,10723,00.html) and Ernest Goes to Camp (http://www.eonline.com/Facts/Movies/0,60,5498,00.html), and he frequently served as an on-set technical advisor for American Indian scenes. He also turned up on such TV shows as Bonanza, Gunsmoke and Rawhide

[HC_Chief]

Ward Churchill is a frigging loser. My aunt & uncle are profs @ CU... both despise him and hope they fire his crazy ass.

At first, they thought that may be tough since he's tenured... even the plagarism charges wouldn't be enough. The fact that he's a honkey however may invalidate his contract altogether as he received the professorship in a minority hire (socialist hiring practices forced upon state colleges)

[Rain Man]

You want to be like Cody?

hehe you sure?

He was a fake? As soon as I'm a real Indian, I'll find that disgusting and be indignant about it.

[gblowfish]

Can I outsource all my tech support jobs to you, and you can pay your relatives $1.25 per hour to answer the phone?

[patteeu]

Rain Man sounds like an indian name to me. I voted "yes."

Do you think you could find us a cheap deal on an indian chief to ride around arrowhead on a new version of warpaint?

[cdcox]

Not sure I've ever seen a hirsute indian.

[Rain Man]

Not sure I've ever seen a hirsute indian.


As Skip noted, I'm an Indian lowland gorilla. We use every part of the banana.

[cdcox]

As Skip noted, I'm an Indian lowland gorilla. We use every part of the banana.

I saw Skip's post, so don't try any of you monkey shines with me.

[ChiefsOne]

If you can make it rain and cancel the softball game tonight I will vote for you!

[trndobrd]

"Chief Bear in Backyard"?

[Goapics1]

Chief Rain Man, I believe you have achieved Indian status.

[Ultra Peanut]

Wait. Indian dot-dot, or Indian woo-woo?

[Eye Patch]

Rain Man,… You wouldn't happen to be part of the Akowee tribe from “F” troop. You sound just like Crazy Cat.

[KC Kings]

Wait. Indian dot-dot, or Indian woo-woo?
Indian woo-woo? Like dem whistles?

[Rain Man]

Indian woo-woo. The government doesn't write checks to Indian dot-dots.

[Ultra Peanut]

Indian woo-woo? Like dem whistles?It's that WOO WOOOOO!

That's only in the monin'; you're supposed to be up cooking breakfast or something!

Indian woo-woo. The government doesn't write checks to Indian dot-dots.Bastards.

Speaking of bastards, Steve Holt is a bastard. He doesn't even know who his father is. What else don't we know about Steve Holt?

[bogie]

I voted yes. I would like to smoke your peace pipe sometime... Uhhh, wait that sounds bad

[Hammock Parties]

I uh....what?

[Rain Man]

Well, I think that this vote clearly establishes that I am viewed as a Native American in the community. Thank you, everybody. You are welcome to have buffalo at my campfire any time.

Now I just need to pick a tribe...Commanche could be kind of cool, but I always liked Mohawks, too. I'm going to have to think about this.