ooh ooh - I have a new workplace drama for all you armchair career advisors

[KC Jones]

Besides it's the offseason - what else are you going to read :D

So here's the tale:

I've been in my new job for nearly 3 months now. My supervisor is the shit. He takes me to meetings that although boring, give me face time with executives and help me understand the business. Anytime he sends out a status report about a problem we are working on he always indicates that I have been doing the work with him. He's spent a lot of time making sure I have everything I need to be successful in this position.

Two days ago he and I went to a manager from another team attempting to track down the genesis and maintenace of a datasource our application uses. After the introduction this manager turns to my supervisor and asks, "Is he your bitch?". My supervisor looked a little stunned but then said "yeah, he's my bitch."

I was a bit shocked and didn't really know how to react. I decided to let it roll, but an hour or so later I was starting to really get hot under the collar. I wasn't mad at my supervisor, I thought he looked very caught off guard at the moment and just decided to roll with it. Besides, I feel close enough to the guy I wouldn't be offended if he made a joke like that. However, I was very ****ing offended that this guy I had just met made that joke. Seriously, I'm having visions of jumping on his chest until blood is streaming out of his ears - but my anger management issues are another topic altogether. As an added bonus this guy is my perfect nemesis. He's incredibly arrogant and in love with himself. I'm talking about teeth that have been whitened and straightened to perfection. His hair lookes like he has it highlighted - and it's always perfect. He's in good shape and wears stylish, expensive clothes. He struts when he walks. He's perfectly tan - I suspect the use of tanning salons. He's an ubber preppie metrosexual. I even suspect he gets manicures. Let's call him... Ken.

So, I resolve to go back over and talk to Ken myself. Nothing crazy - just gonna tell him that I was offended, thought it was very demeaning etc. and let him apologize. Well, I can see Ken's cube from my desk and he had someone in there with him all afternoon - or at least every time I looked. I looked over there one last time before I left for the day and he wasn't in there.

Next day I ask my boss if Ken would be around and he asks why. I tell him I was offended by that "bitch" exchange and wanted to talk to Ken about it. He tells me that's just the way Ken is and that he didn't mean anything by it - just a joke. I tell him I can handle jokes like that from friends but coming from a manager I don't know it was just demeaning and totally inappropriate. My supervisor responds that Ken just mistakenly assumes everyone has a "good sense of humor". He also points out that another two person team within our group have been joking about the underling being the supervisors bitch. So, at this point I'm kinda pissed at my boss too since he has in a round about way indicated the problem is my lack of a sense of humor not the comments that were made at my expense. Ever since then Ken has been out of the office so I haven't had a chance to bring it up with him. Honestly I wouldn't mind if my supervisor had made that joke with me like the other two man team, because I know him, trust him, and feel like we've become friends.

So my plan at this point is to just talk to Ken when he gets in and point out that I was offended, hope for an apology, and point out this is exactly the kind of thing that could get him in hot water with HR so he needs to be careful with these sorts of comments.

Other options include actually going to HR, which I seriously doubt I'll do since I'd probably be ostracized and it would get my supervisor in more trouble IMHO than Ken. I could act on my urge to beat the daylights out of Ken, but then I'd lose my job and probably have real difficulty lining up another job. With my luck Ken would be some sort of kung fu master and kick my ass anyway. I could also just start looking for another job and figure that although things started well with my current boss he deserves to lose me and his investment in me by taking Ken's side.

Peanut gallery, start your posting!

[Valiant]

Either deal with it and fire back some insults next time or look for another job...

[4th and Long]

I can see why you'd be a bit hot under the collar about that. However, given this Ken person's arrogance and personality as you described it, after you tell him how you feel about this, he may very well look at you and say, "Shaddup, bitch!" :p

[Phobia]

You really don't want me to post my take. You'll probably have your mom call my mom or something.

[KC Jones]

You really don't want me to post my take. You'll probably have your mom call my mom or something.

That's so unfair, why do you have to be so mean to me :deevee:

:D

[teedubya]

start calling him Ken.

[Pants]

Dude, chill the **** out. I'm positive he didn't mean ANYTHING by it. Like you say, yourself, he doesn't even know you. It's just the way some people talk. I'd honestly forget. You have too much too lose IMO, having the great relationship with the boss and all. But what do I know, I'm just a college student.

P.S. WTF does "sic" mean?

[KCWolfman]

Order a gay porn catalog in his name at the company address.

[Garcia Bronco]

Find out if he's married...and then send his wife some flowers.

[KCWolfman]

Find out if he's married...and then send his wife some flowers.
Nice.

[Phobia]

Seriously, though. The new guy you met was trying to break the ice. Ken did nothing wrong. This "issue" is yours. It hinges around some insecurity belonging to you. Probably being the FNG.

You should roll with it and move on. Hopefully the bosses will forget that the new company Goliath is a little bitch sometimes.

[Garcia Bronco]

Order a gay porn catalog in his name at the company address.

Even better

[elvomito]

You have a lot of options:
-when you see him at work, say "hey bitch howsit hangin?" with a smile. he has to have a "good sense of humor" right?
-look his address up through the county's tax record. go to his house and pretend to be selling bags of human fesces. when he answers the door, look surprised, call him a bitch, and invite yourself in for tea, sherbert, and a pillowfight.
-do the above, but wear a mask and beat the astroglide out of him. return to work as if nothing happened, but make comments like "who made you their bitch?" when you see his battered face.
-kidnap him, attach a long strand of very strong fishing line to a bridge. attach the other end around his beans and frank. push him over the edge.

[jspchief]

Sounds like "bitch" might be a fitting nickname. Sack up and learn to roll with the punches. You're the new guy, and making a big deal out of this isn't going to make things better.

[KCWolfman]

Sounds like "bitch" might be a fitting nickname. Sack up and learn to roll with the punches. You're the new guy, and making a big deal out of this isn't going to make things better.
I disagree.

However, I don't see it as an insult as much as a challenge. I know I can make someone like that say "uncle" long before I do.

I would use his email address and sign up for every crazy thing I can think of.

I would put his desk drawers in upside down - filled with the supplies.

I would deliberately mispronounce his name every time we spoke.

I would sneeze on his shirt.

I would make it a personal venture every day to come up with something new and exciting to beat the bastard.


If he complained about any of it, I would say "stop being a bitch about it. Grow a sack."

[teedubya]

I hear there is a place online that you can order shit shipped directly to someones residence. That would own.

Ah sweet, who sent me a package?... WTF!!! OMGWTFBBQ!!!11

[Mr. Kotter]

Order a gay porn catalog in his name at the company address.

Bingo....that and post tranvestite club "events" signed by Ken around the office.

[Rausch]

You really don't want me to post my take. You'll probably have your mom call my mom or something.

I think I'll take the same way out.

I haven't achieved the lofty position I currently hold in life because I knew when to STFU...

[Fat Elvis]

Excel at your job; become his boss.

[KC Jones]

I've decided as repgunant as it is, I need to take Ken out for a drink, slip some roofies in his beer, then take him out to the parking lot for some anal action. Then I can call him my bitch around the office with a special kind of authority.

:eek: :Lin:

Seriously though, I think most of you are right that I should just let it slide. I was predisposed to hate Ken from the moment I saw him and that's probably the biggest reason it got under my skin. Hell, I'm not even honestly mad anymore and by the time he gets back from vacation I'll probably have forgotten the whole thing.

[TEX]

If you like your job and want to stay there awhile, just tell Ken you don't appreciate because it was not appropriate and ask him not to do it again. Make sure that you do this privately and don't cause a scene. Also send him an email so you'll have record of it. Then, try and forget about it amd move on.

[Skip Towne]

I would make it a personal venture every day to come up with something new and exciting to beat the bastard.


"
This is exactly what I would do to this turd. There is nothing more satisfying than to mentally stomp somebody's ass into the ground day after day. It will reduce him to a sniveling piece of humanity. Yeah Me!!!

[Mr. Kotter]

I've decided as repgunant as it is, I need to take Ken out for a drink, slip some roofies in his beer, then take him out to the parking lot for some anal action. Then I can call him my bitch around the office with a special kind of authority.

.....

KCJones = DC? :hmmm:

[KC Jones]

KCJones = DC? :hmmm:

I would have gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids!

:)

[Mr. Kotter]

.... There is nothing more satisfying than to mentally stomp somebody's ass into the ground day after day. ....

Explains why you prefer working alone....heh. :p

[Skip Towne]

Explains why you prefer working alone....heh. :p
What'd you say bitch?

[morphius]

I'm just surprised that Phobia hasnt changed his name to Phobia's Bitch or Drama Princess, cause dear lord KC Jones, I have hear worse then that every damn week.

[Rain Man]

Welcome to Broncos country.

I'd say either go with the gay rape thing or let it slide. This guy sounds like the passive-aggressive type who will keep doing it if he finds out that it bothers you.

You're a big guy, right? If he says the B word again, look at your boss and say, "Do you want me to beat the hell out of him, boss?"

[stevieray]

yup, sounds like denver.

[Skip Towne]

Welcome to Broncos country.

I'd say either go with the gay rape thing or let it slide. This guy sounds like the passive-aggressive type who will keep doing it if he finds out that it bothers you.

You're a big guy, right? If he says the B word again, look at your boss and say, "Do you want me to beat the hell out of him, boss?"
Hahahahahaha. That would be a much quicker solution than my protracted mental torture approach.

[Rausch]

Welcome to Broncos country.

I'd say either go with the gay rape thing or let it slide. This guy sounds like the passive-aggressive type who will keep doing it if he finds out that it bothers you.

You're a big guy, right? If he says the B word again, look at your boss and say, "Do you want me to beat the hell out of him, boss?"

No no no...You say "You want I should rough him up for ya'?"

[RedNFeisty]

You would never cut it as a female working with other females.

Fine, your feelings got hurt and you felt belittled. Who cares? Ken doesn't care. If you approach him now, you will forever label yourself the bitch. Next time you get a chance cut him a low blow. Not out of anger, but in jest. "Hey Ken, did you get your hair cut?" "No." "Oh, I guess you just washed it!" If he is as picky about his looks and attire as you say, then this will bug the shit out of him and you get a little laugh. It isn't mean hearted and you can not get in trouble. Every office female I work with hates me. Do I care, **** no. Do they make as much as me, hell no. Who cares what other co-workers think of you as long as you do your job to the best of your ability. .

If you are not a little bitch, then why care when you are called one!?!

[Braincase]

Ken is somebody's bitch. Figure out who his daddy is, and pal around with him.

[Rain Man]

No no no...You say "You want I should rough him up for ya'?"


Good point. It wouldn't hurt to be tapping your palm with a baseball bat while saying it, either.

[BIG_DADDY]

Ken already let you know what the game is, win at it. Anything else just makes you look like a wussy including confronting him. You don't want to be Mr. Thin Skin around Ken you will have lost the war at that point.

[Scaga]

Let it go, bitch :p

[BIG_DADDY]

Ken already let you know what the game is, win at it. Anything else just makes you look like a wussy including confronting him. You don't want to be Mr. Thin Skin around Ken you will have lost the war at that point.


Great idea Troy but how do I win?

Glad you asked. :rolleyes:

Talk to him in situations where he is around people, the more the better. Here are some classics

1. Hey Ken, mind if I borrow some of your (bonzer, teeth polish, hair moose ect.) you have a big date tonight. If he gets smart with you fire back you need to borrow a tampon from him too you hope he didn’t use them all.

2. Call him girlfriend all the time. While you check him out. LOL

3. Tell him your sorry about overhearing his last phone conversation but what does barebacking mean?

You get the message. This will make him STFU quick and it will work. My sister is NCIS and had a supervisor keep making smart ass comments at her all the time. I asked what his biggest weakness was and she said he was fat. I told her next time he tries to embarrass you just say “ Listen Humpty ****ing Dumpty, if I want your opinion I’ll ask for it.” Guys never ****ed with her again because he doesn’t want to be called Humpty Dumpty. Bang, got respect just like that. Snitching or getting all hot under the collar will only make you out to be weak and sensitive. That’s probably why your supervisor is trying to keep from doing that.

[NewChief]

Take a leak in his coffee. I hear that works out real good for people.

[MOhillbilly]

you should stab him,and cut his head off.

[JohnnyV13]

Sigh.....this is one of those situations you wish you could have been prepared so you would have a ready comeback....


"No, Ken, I'm not like your friends at (well known local gay bar).

Or you could say, "Naw Ken, I gave up being a bitch ever since you stopped hanging out at (well known local gay bar).

That way you display a sense of humor, and he can't call you on it because he's the one that made the attack. Then HE would be the one lacking a "good sense of humor". But, it sufficiently embarrasses him that he won't do it again. Now Ken, of course, will not like you in the least.

The advantage of this approach is it launches a pre-emptive strike against any OTHER manager disprespecting you. The disadvantage is if Ken is extremely well liked among his peers, you could get a general "bad rap" among the supervisors.

[BIG_DADDY]

The advantage of this approach is it launches a pre-emptive strike against any OTHER manager disprespecting you. The disadvantage is if Ken is extremely well liked among his peers, you could get a general "bad rap" among the supervisors.

Naw, they will recognize the game. I think I like calling him girlfriend all the time best.

[Goapics1]

Take a leak in his coffee. I hear that works out real good for people.

ROFL

[MOhillbilly]

Great idea Troy but how do I win?

Glad you asked. :rolleyes:


ROFL

[Fire Me Boy!]

Get back to me when Ken whacks it at your desk.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2285711

[BIG_DADDY]

You just like flirtin' with dudes.

This serves a double purpose. It shows your not insecure about anything and insinuates he's your bitch. I love it.

[fr0sty_2000]

I would probably hire a male dancer to come in to the office around 8:00 or 9:00 am (which ever time most people are there) and have him sing "Happy Birthday" to "Ken". Make sure he atleast removes his shirt:) Possibly more just to get a kick out of it.

And remember your camera that day. make sure you can get some great snap shots, and include it in the company Christmas cards, or just print flyers and post in the lobby, or break room.

You said he is a pretty boy, well, he might actually like the "Male" company...

[BIG_DADDY]

I would probably hire a male dancer to come in to the office around 8:00 or 9:00 am (which ever time most people are there) and have him sing "Happy Birthday" to "Ken". Make sure he atleast removes his shirt:) Possibly more just to get a kick out of it.

And remember your camera that day. make sure you can get some great snap shots, and include it in the company Christmas cards, or just print flyers and post in the lobby, or break room.

You said he is a pretty boy, well, he might actually like the "Male" company...

You could send him a dozen roses from another dude. Have them write from Mike on the envelope. ROFL Do that after you start calling him girlfriend all the time.

[chagrin]

You can always start giving him that sales guy smile and say "what's up ace" everytime you see him

[chagrin]

P.S. I have to agree with most of the posts here...that's commonplace in the office these days. You obviously are not in sales, gulp, are you?

Colorado though, I used to live out there and got my first taste of the letigious society we have become. I wasn't sued, but that was the first time I had seen and heard poeple threaten Hr lawsuits and shit over "boys being boys" stuff.

Besides, these posts are also correct about fggin with him right back. If you don't, he probably won't let up

[mrbiggz]

next time he says something just laugh and say at least i dont look like a fag

[Rain Man]

next time he says something just laugh and say at least i dont look like a Rump Ranger

Unfortunately, that won't work for KC Jones.

[patteeu]

...Well, I can see Ken's cube from my desk ...

Yikes, you were called a bitch by a guy in a cubicle? Muwahahahahwha

Seriously, just roll with it. Do you know how many people work under bosses that either steal credit for everything they do or don't give them any opportunity to grow? If your boss is worth keeping, then the job is worth keeping until you can get a promotion or a job where you are the boss.

I like BD's suggestion to start referring to Ken as "girlfriend" all the time (with a big smile on your face). Test HIS sense of humor.

[Pennywise]

I like BD's suggestion to start referring to Ken as "girlfriend" all the time (with a big smile on your face). Test HIS sense of humor.

That or take a shit on a paperplate and slide it in his desk drawer.

[stevieray]

put a tube of preperation h on his desk, then after a couple of days, cold sore medicine, then some midol, then after a couple more, a pregnancy test.

[trndobrd]

If you aren't going to beat him in the parking garage with a 2ft section of tow chain, try these:

1. Refer to him as "Sport" or "Slick"
2. "I'm not laughing at your tie, I'm laughing with it"
3. "Whoa! Spill your aftershave bottle this morning?"
4. "Who is your hairdresser?"
5. Tell him he has something in his teeth, even when he doesn't.
6. "Wow, I've only been here three months and my cubicle is bigger than yours? "
7. "My wife always seems to be watching 'Trading Spaces'....Hey, Sport, when does that come on?"
8. "Nice eye. Those slacks and shirt look just like the ones on the manniquin at Penny's"
9. "I was going to invite you golfing/fishing this weekend, but I saw that the home and garden show was in town."
10. "Are you feeling OK? You look kind of jaundiced."

[stevieray]

If you aren't going to beat him in the parking garage with a 2ft section of tow chain, try these:

1. Refer to him as "Sport" or "Slick"
2. "I'm not laughing at your tie, I'm laughing with it"
3. "Whoa! Spill your aftershave bottle this morning?"
4. "Who is your hairdresser?"
5. Tell him he has something in his teeth, even when he doesn't.
6. "Wow, I've only been here three months and my cubicle is bigger than yours? "
7. "My wife always seems to be watching 'Trading Spaces'....Hey, Sport, when does that come on?"
8. "Nice eye. Those slacks and shirt look just like the ones on the manniquin at Penny's"
9. "I was going to invite you golfing/fishing this weekend, but I saw that the home and garden show was in town."
10. "Are you feeling OK? You look kind of jaundiced."

"Hey Ken, are those shoes new? you sure know how to accessorize"

[Rain Man]

Wait until he comes into your cubicle alone, and then yell, "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! GET AWAY FROM ME, KEN!"

[Braincase]

I like the coordinated stink attack.

Get a couple of buddies, and when around Ken, just sniff like you smell something awful. When he asks, act like you don't want to tell him he smells like ass. Get a couple of other buddies to help out. Particularly effective in elevators.

Buy him a can of this...

http://snl.jt.org/arc/com/Ass%20Don't%20Smell.jpg

[Nightfyre]

Sing the barbie girl song at him?

[Goapics1]

That or take a shit on a paperplate and slide it in his desk drawer.

I like this idea.

[stevieray]

"Hey , Ken, how often do you have to re-dye your roots?"

[chagrin]

"Hey , Ken, how often do you have to re-dye your roots?"
ROFL

[Jenny Gump]

Well, Ken may be up to one of a few things.
He might be just joking around, and has a stupid sense of humor He might just be pushing you a little bit to see what you're made of He could just be hostile cause you're the bitch, not him He might be trying to sink a left hook while your boss is around, just to undermine you a littlePoint is, with any of the above, you cannot confront. Since you don't know his motive, if you confront him, he may be getting exactly the response he wants.

I say your solution is to continue to shine at work and let your work speak for itself. Be serious and professional, and he will either think that you are unshakable, or that you don't give a f*ck what he says. Either way, you have the upper hand.

If you really must retaliate in some way, I would jab back, but in a more clever way. Leave him wondering if he was insulted.

One other thing to consider, is maybe you DO need to back off from the boss and show your independence for the next few weeks. After all, your boss gave you a huge insight that others are talking as well. Last thing you should do is throw a fit.

Being the bitch isn't always easy...I should know.

[KCWolfman]

Ken already let you know what the game is, win at it. Anything else just makes you look like a wussy including confronting him. You don't want to be Mr. Thin Skin around Ken you will have lost the war at that point.
:clap: :clap: :clap:

[KC Jones]

Awesome....

Once again I must defer to the planet's collective wisdom. 'Girlfriend' it is.

[KC Jones]

Unfortunately, that won't work for KC Jones.

thtop it you inthenthitive clod :thailor:

[KC Jones]

Yikes, you were called a bitch by a guy in a cubicle? Muwahahahahwha

Seriously, just roll with it. Do you know how many people work under bosses that either steal credit for everything they do or don't give them any opportunity to grow? If your boss is worth keeping, then the job is worth keeping until you can get a promotion or a job where you are the boss.

I like BD's suggestion to start referring to Ken as "girlfriend" all the time (with a big smile on your face). Test HIS sense of humor.

At my company the IT floors are all completely open. Only Sr. Managers and Directors get cubes. You have to be VP level for an office. There's probably close to 100 admins, DBAs, Engineers, Architects, BAs, etc. all within sight of my crappy desk sitting at a crappy desk of their own.

Yeah, you're right about the good boss thing. He's honestly the one thing that's really keeping me here. I can see lots of other things not to like but this guy is a rising star and a great boss. I can tell that as long as I'm a good bitch, er I bust hump for him, er I work hard, he'll see to it that I share in the spoils.

[Rain Man]

At my company the IT floors are all completely open. Only Sr. Managers and Directors get cubes. You have to be VP level for an office. There's probably close to 100 admins, DBAs, Engineers, Architects, BAs, etc. all within sight of my crappy desk sitting at a crappy desk of their own.



At least you're not an intern. They all have to work inside the air conditioning ducts.

[Hammock Parties]

Order a gay porn catalog in his name at the company address.

Excellent suggestion.

[Rain Man]

Excellent suggestion.

The cool thing is that you can order it from his computer and leave a paper trail. Set it up so the e-mail gets sent at 2:00 the following afternoon.

[Inspector]

Well, Ken may be up to one of a few things.
He might be just joking around, and has a stupid sense of humor He might just be pushing you a little bit to see what you're made of He could just be hostile cause you're the bitch, not him He might be trying to sink a left hook while your boss is around, just to undermine you a littlePoint is, with any of the above, you cannot confront. Since you don't know his motive, if you confront him, he may be getting exactly the response he wants.

I say your solution is to continue to shine at work and let your work speak for itself. Be serious and professional, and he will either think that you are unshakable, or that you don't give a f*ck what he says. Either way, you have the upper hand.

If you really must retaliate in some way, I would jab back, but in a more clever way. Leave him wondering if he was insulted.

One other thing to consider, is maybe you DO need to back off from the boss and show your independence for the next few weeks. After all, your boss gave you a huge insight that others are talking as well. Last thing you should do is throw a fit.

Being the bitch isn't always easy...I should know.


Good advice!

[KCWolfman]

At least you're not an intern. They all have to work inside the air conditioning ducts.
That is just nasty, and most likely illegal. I can't believe....


Ohhh, you said "DUCTS"......


nevermind

[Skip Towne]

That is just nasty, and most likely illegal. I can't believe....


Ohhh, you said "DUCTS"......


nevermind
Yes, ducts, not to be confused with the white, feathery, web footed kind.