Tales from the Jail

[DenverChief]

Lemme start off by tellin ya inmates are freakin geniouses (CPS) 2 nights ago some inmate decided to flush a towel and a bed sheet down the toilet which caused all the blocks to flood with poop and pee/dirty water. The plumber gets called and he comes in and snakes out said towel and sheet. During the clean up the inmates decide that they needed to make the floors "super clean" and mixed bleach and amonia in the mop buckets and went to work. By the time anyone noticed the whole jail was rank with the horrible smell that produces. Fortunatly they only used the mixture in one block so we were still able to air the Jail out and not have any major problems.

That night about an hour after I got off I call back to the Jail about a few things and find out the blocks were flooding again. The plumber shows up around 9:30 pm and runs a camera down the pipes and finds another sheet, not a new one but an original one (so they flushed 2 sheets and a towel). He says that he has to go to boulder to get his truck which has more tools (the sheet was 85 feet away from the snake point) He says he can't come back till 9 am . So all night the inmates had to stay on lock down so they won't play in the poop water. The next morning orders are to let the inmates sleep in hopes the problem can be solved before they notice they haven't been fed breakfast. Well 11 am rolls around and no one (including the deputies) have been fed. Well the inmates decide they are gonna start banging on doors and screaming at the top of their lungs (things like a$$hole, I'm calling my lawyer etc etc) cause we can't feed them while there is poop water on the floor not to mention we had to shut the water off so the problem wouldn't get worse and to top it off the kitchen can't cook or clean without water. At about 1 pm we finally got sack lunches for everyone but had to feed them in their cells. Anyway long story short the sheet was finally removed around 7 pm but not before the Sheriff had to pop for 26 pizzas to feed these retards. And I just got off a 13.5 hour shift......I'm freakin tired :mad:

[Bowser]

That sounds really shitty.

Oh yeah! That's the stuff, baby!!1211!!

[Bowser]

Seriously, what a crappy deal. (Stop it, DC! You're frickin killing me!)

Get some rest, and pray that the smell is gone.

BTW, are you a guard in a jail, or a prison?

[DenverChief]

That sounds really shitty.

Oh yeah! That's the stuff, baby!!1211!!

:LOL: thats my boy!

I thank my lucky stars I just have to stand there and give directions I would really hate to have to clean those numbnuts mess

[DenverChief]

Seriously, what a crappy deal. (Stop it, DC! You're frickin killing me!)

Get some rest, and pray that the smell is gone.

BTW, are you a guard in a jail, or a prison?

Jail Deputy for 1 year then on the road :D and I can't wait already :p

[alanm]

What Bologna sandwiches aren't good enough? It is for Sheriff Apraio-sp down in Phoenix. Better yet ship their asses down there. Them clowns in Denver have it too easy.

[ChiefFripp]

Sheriff:" Deptuy, you , you're the Chef fan right?"
Denver Chief: "yeah..."
Sheriff:" well you had better get that mop out and start soaking up that turd water before the pizzas get here or you'll be in a world of sh!t."
Denver Chief(with a crazy look in his eyes): "I am..in a world of...sh!T."

[Bowser]

What Bologna sandwiches aren't good enough? It is for Sheriff Apraio-sp down in Phoenix. Better yet ship their asses down there. Them clowns in Denver have it too easy.

No shit. Isn't that the guy who makes the inmates stay in tent cities in the middle of the desert, and feeds the green bologna?

[1adam1238]

Hey, looks like we deal with the same type of assholes. I work in a Maximum secuirty prison.....we shut the water off when they start to flood....

[alanm]

No shit. Isn't that the guy who makes the inmates stay in tent cities in the middle of the desert, and feeds the green bologna?
That's the guy. I'm pretty sure he doesn't get much repeat business. Sounds like most have moved on to Denver. ROFL

[DenverChief]

What Bologna sandwiches aren't good enough? It is for Sheriff Apraio-sp down in Phoenix. Better yet ship their asses down there. Them clowns in Denver have it too easy.

I agree the inmates have it way to easy cable tv, movies, PS2. However it kinda makes my job easier not to have to deal with bored irate inmates....I would much rather them be good PS2 players than have more time on their hands thinking of ways to make a shank or ambush a deputy. It's not Denver county either those guys have it pretty rough....besides the deputies only get to eat what the kitchen makes :(

[DenverChief]

Sheriff:" Deptuy, you , you're the Chef fan right?"
Denver Chief: "yeah..."
Sheriff:" well you had better get that mop out and start soaking up that turd water before the pizzas get here or you'll be in a world of sh!t."
Denver Chief(with a crazy look in his eyes): "I am..in a world of...sh!T."


Actually I know I have found the prefect dept to work for there are seveal other deputies that are chiefs fans

[Donger]

I agree the inmates have it way to easy cable tv, movies, PS2. However it kinda makes my job easier not to have to deal with bored irate inmates....I would much rather them be good PS2 players than have more time on their hands thinking of ways to make a shank or ambush a deputy. It's not Denver county either those guys have it pretty rough....besides the deputies only get to eat what the kitchen makes :(

How you resist to shoot them all while they are collectively attempting to escape is beyond me.

[DenverChief]

Hey, looks like we deal with the same type of assholes. I work in a Maximum secuirty prison.....we shut the water off when they start to flood....

yeah freakin turds.....it seems its the fed holds that we have that are the most obnoxious

[Donger]

Actually I know I have found the prefect dept to work for there are seveal other deputies that are chiefs fans

Let me guess, Douglas County?

[DenverChief]

How you resist to shoot them all while they are collectively attempting to escape is beyond me.

The taser is more fun :D

you live in Hygene?

[DenverChief]

Let me guess, Douglas County?

nein

[Donger]

The taser is more fun :D

you live in Hygene?

No. I don't know what or where Hygiene is.

[StcChief]

**** 'em.

One of their own messed up by putting a sheet down the shitter. They all pay by cleaning it up,
no lunch or whatever the mess hall can whip up. Sandwiches etc.

I'm with the Sheriff in Az. let them off easy, and you pay al the way.

[DenverChief]

No. I don't know what or where Hygiene is.

:spock:

[DenverChief]

**** 'em.

One of their own messed up by putting a sheet down the shitter. They all pay by cleaning it up,
no lunch or whatever the mess hall can whip up. Sandwiches etc.

I'm with the Sheriff in Az. let them off easy, and you pay al the way.I don't agree with everything he does but I think he is on the right track

[Donger]

:spock:

My name isn't really Donger either, detective.

:)

One of my neighbors is an Aurora PD cop. He's a good guy. But, if I get pulled over at DIA more time, I'm going to be rather upset.

[headsnap]

our Drummer is a Guard at LaGrange Reformatory(KY State Prison) and he was one of the guys called in to identify these bodies...

http://newscenter.ninn.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=11968


These winners apparently had a plan to dress up as garbage for their escape. They hid in a dumpster and had a plan to hide in the truck and escape at the next stop. Supposedly ther were told that there is a small area that one can hide in and not get squished when the trash got compacted in the truck... if the truck was emply that is. It wasn't. The truck stopped at an industrial construcition site before it went to LaGrange. Scott was telling of how the escapees were impaled, had the skin ripped from their bodies, eyeballs hanging out of the sockets...




Darwin at work..

[Mr Grimm]

I agree the inmates have it way to easy cable tv, movies, PS2. However it kinda makes my job easier not to have to deal with bored irate inmates....I would much rather them be good PS2 players than have more time on their hands thinking of ways to make a shank or ambush a deputy. It's not Denver county either those guys have it pretty rough....besides the deputies only get to eat what the kitchen makes :(


I've always been prone to chain gangs. but some people think thats cruel. They play PS2 in the jail, because DOC banned them a little after i quit last year.

they get 2 channels here if they are really good with tin foil.

[ChiTown]

Scott was telling of how the escapees were impaled, had the skin ripped from their bodies, eyeballs hanging out of the sockets...




Darwin at work..

yummy

[chiefs4me]

I don't actually see what they gained by this stunt, they are the ones who suffered, and rightly so. And pizza? Don't you have a shitty hamburger joint around you?

[ChiTown]

I don't actually see what they gained by this stunt, they are the ones who suffered, and rightly so. And pizza? Don't you have a shitty hamburger joint around you?


fuc that. Throw a loaf of bread in their cell and have them make a shit sammich with the poop water......fn animals

[Mr Grimm]

I don't actually see what they gained by this stunt, they are the ones who suffered, and rightly so. And pizza? Don't you have a shitty hamburger joint around you?

huh, i got 2 guys in here now for beating a pizza delivery guy almost to death for a pie and some wings.
their gettin it pretty hard.

[Skip Towne]

I'll bet DC staged all this to keep his boyfriend from getting out.

[chiefs4me]

huh, i got 2 guys in here now for beating a pizza delivery guy almost to death for a pie and some wings.
their gettin it pretty hard.


I have no clue what you just said.

[KS Smitty]

I have no clue what you just said.

I do believe that Mr. Grimm is saying that there are 2 new detainees in the incarceration joint he is working that beat a delivery boy for the pizza and some chicken he delivered that wasn't good enough.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Disgusting. They flood the f*ckin joint out, then get rewarded with delivery pizza? At least they know what to do when movie night rolls around. Good to see tax dollars reeeeeaaaaaaaalllllly workin for us.

[Mr Grimm]

I do believe that Mr. Grimm is saying that there are 2 new detainees in the incarceration joint he is working that beat a delivery boy for the pizza and some chicken he delivered that wasn't good enough.


thats pretty much it.

[Skip Towne]

I have no clue what you just said.
You got some good dope don'tcha? He said he is a guard at a penal institution and there are two inmates in his care that are being detained because they committed felony battery on a fast food delivery person. And that the other inmates frown on that practice.

[Mr. Kotter]

And some people think I'm crazy teaching HS kids....heh.

Keep up the good work--and thanks for your service, even if it's not "combat" duty.

Please, continue sharing these entertaining stories....I enjoy a good laugh at stupid people's antics.

[Donger]

I have no clue what you just said.

That's because you're a vacuous pinhead, and a slut.

[ChiTown]

And some people think I'm crazy teaching HS kids....heh.

Keep up the good work--and thanks for your service, even if it's not "combat" duty.

Please, continue sharing these entertaining stories....I enjoy a good laugh at stupid people's antics.

Where's your fuggin manners, boy? For chrissakes, offer him some pie......

[Skip Towne]

That's because you're a vacuous pinhead, and a slut.
Aw, c'mon, don't sugarcoat it, tell us what you think.

[Donger]

Aw, c'mon, don't sugarcoat it, tell us what you think.

Sh*t. I've actually been trying to less direct recently. It seemed rather subtle, almost gentle, when I typed it but I concur that it is rather harsh.

Then again, it's exceedingly accurate. So, f*ck it.

[alanm]

yeah freakin turds.....it seems its the fed holds that we have that are the most obnoxious
Thank you, thank you. ROFL ROFL ROFL

[BIG_DADDY]

How many times you had piss thrown on you so far?

[DenverChief]

How many times you had piss thrown on you so far?

zero and if they did they would be gettin a ride on the taser :D

[HemiEd]

I'll bet DC staged all this to keep his boyfriend from getting out.

ROFL

[Mr. Kotter]

zero and if they did they would be gettin a ride on the taser :D

You've named your unit "taser"? :spock:

[Iowanian]

all that man-doo on the floor probably turned some people on.

[Electric]

Shortly after 9/11 we had a group of recalled sailors that were qualifying with the M-16. The range of choice was at one of Florida's institutions for criminals.

One sailor started firing fully automatic, with the rangemaster's permission, and emptied two magazines. Shortly after that I took my turn, a couple of prison trucks came screaming into the range area and jumped out yelling, we are taking rounds in the day room!!!

The range master replied.....so? They ARE prisioners!!!

When it came to the pizza, I think I'd reply...They ARE prisioners, let them eat their bologna!

[Braincase]

Let me guess, Douglas County?

Douglas County Sheriff Ken McGovern is a Bronco's fan... and a good friend of mine. ROFL

[Chiefs Pantalones]

Lemme start off by tellin ya inmates are freakin geniouses (CPS) 2 nights ago some inmate decided to flush a towel and a bed sheet down the toilet which caused all the blocks to flood with poop and pee/dirty water. The plumber gets called and he comes in and snakes out said towel and sheet. During the clean up the inmates decide that they needed to make the floors "super clean" and mixed bleach and amonia in the mop buckets and went to work. By the time anyone noticed the whole jail was rank with the horrible smell that produces. Fortunatly they only used the mixture in one block so we were still able to air the Jail out and not have any major problems.

That night about an hour after I got off I call back to the Jail about a few things and find out the blocks were flooding again. The plumber shows up around 9:30 pm and runs a camera down the pipes and finds another sheet, not a new one but an original one (so they flushed 2 sheets and a towel). He says that he has to go to boulder to get his truck which has more tools (the sheet was 85 feet away from the snake point) He says he can't come back till 9 am . So all night the inmates had to stay on lock down so they won't play in the poop water. The next morning orders are to let the inmates sleep in hopes the problem can be solved before they notice they haven't been fed breakfast. Well 11 am rolls around and no one (including the deputies) have been fed. Well the inmates decide they are gonna start banging on doors and screaming at the top of their lungs (things like a$$hole, I'm calling my lawyer etc etc) cause we can't feed them while there is poop water on the floor not to mention we had to shut the water off so the problem wouldn't get worse and to top it off the kitchen can't cook or clean without water. At about 1 pm we finally got sack lunches for everyone but had to feed them in their cells. Anyway long story short the sheet was finally removed around 7 pm but not before the Sheriff had to pop for 26 pizzas to feed these retards. And I just got off a 13.5 hour shift......I'm freakin tired :mad:

DenverChief + Prisoners = heaven for both parties